#learningtomoveon

SherJoysLife

 My single journey? I failed. This is such a long story that I will have to leave it for my next posts.

It hurts for a really long time. It never stops hurting, it just slowly gets numb. You find ways to dodge the pain and find ways to put temporary band aids over it to hide it. But it never goes away. Sometimes the band aids hold and sometimes the sore breaks open and bleeds for a while and all that pain comes back. But all this pain and all this masking helps you learn. It makes you stronger. It makes you a better person. I mean all my wounds are still there but all the sleeping around and all the mistakes and drinking and drugs helps you find what’s wrong. Don’t ever feel like hurting is a bad thing. We all hurt. But life is a mess and we find our friends and we find our people and our family who’s there for us and that’s what makes the pain subside for a little while. It helps us find the places and people that don’t hurt. You’ll find the person that doesn’t hurt you. And yeah they’re going to hurt you too, but it’s a different kind of pain, you know that they aren’t going to leave you broken and alone. Everyone’s imperfect.

Thank you. Thank you for finally telling me that you don't care About me, and this is not me being sarcastic. This is me actually being thankful. Thank you for giving me the best 3 years of my life. Thank you for showing me how to love but most importantly showing me to love myself. Thank you for teaching me how to focus on the positives. Thank you for being the constant rock in my life. Thank you for undoubtedly always believing in me. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for the most beautifully passionate young love that no one can ever even begin to describe because words do not begin to touch upon it. Thank you Matt, for finally telling me to let go. Telling me that there is no hope for us. You have finally began to slowly being to rip Away at the bandaid that I have always been afraid of even looking out. I have loved you ever since I laid eyes upon you. I was given 3 beautiful years of life that we shared together. And I will never stop loving you, but that is something I will need to come to terms with. I always thought that saying goodbye each time we visited eachother was the hardest goodbye I would ever have to face. But I was wrong. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Living without you is truly like living with no air, but I just took the first step in learning. Learning to take he leap of faith from what I once have known. This is it. This me finally looking to move on. So thank you, for finally answering the question I asked you 4 months ago.

ASHLEY AND I WORKED EVERYTHING OUT. HALLELUJAH! I LOVE THAT GIRL.

http://learningtomoveon.tumblr.com

HURRY THE FUCK UP. Mmk. we're bored.