#leapc

as i write this, i'm crying. crying because i’ve realized how much i’ve asked of myself, how often i’ve forgotten to be gentle with the one person who’s always been here—me. this year, i want to take myself seriously. not in a harsh way. in a soft, caring one. i want to earn more money, not just to have it, but to feel safe, less anxious, less stretched thin. to stop feeling guilty for wanting comfort and stability. i want to dress better, not to impress, but to feel like myself when i step outside. to wear things that remind me i deserve effort, that remind me i am worthy. i want to take care of my hair. treat it gently. stop rushing it, pulling it, ignoring it. let it be healthy, not just present. i want to take my health seriously. not through extremes. not through punishment. just through small, steady choices that honor my body. most of all, i want to be soft and gentle with myself, with this very body that carries me every day, that loves me and has been here since i was born. i don’t want to lose myself this year. i want to be confident in my own skin, the quiet kind that doesn’t need permission, the kind that knows when to rest, when to speak, when to walk away. i want to feel pretty again. not in comparison. not for anyone else. but in a way that feels natural, private, and real. this year isn’t about becoming someone new. it’s about coming back to myself, more grounded, more secure, more sure. to build a life that feels stable, to take care of the body i live in, and to love myself without guilt.

i want to be kinder to my body. not just when it looks the way i want, but when it’s tired, when it’s changing, when it carries me through days i don’t talk about. kinder to my past. to the version of me who did the best she could with what she knew at the time. i don’t want to punish her anymore for surviving. this year, i’m choosing softness as strength. routine as love. staying as much as starting. learning that consistency can be gentler than reinvention. i want to build a life that feels quiet but full. not rushed. not loud. a life with mornings that don’t feel like emergencies and nights that don’t feel like escapes. i want to love without losing myself. to choose my partner every day while still choosing my own voice, my own space, my own growth. to let love be something that adds, not something that consumes. i want to communicate better. listen without preparing my defense. speak without fear of being “too much.” love in a way that feels safe for both of us.if i change, i hope it’s slowly. if i heal, i hope it’s honestly. if i fail, i hope i don’t abandon myself because of it. i hope i stay. i hope i forgive. i hope i try again.to stop leaving myself behind, even when life gets messy, even when love gets complicated, even when i’m still learning.