#leadingon

  Basically all my life, I have liked boys.  Ever since kindergarten, i’ve had some sort of crush.  Now that I am older, and don’t have a crush, because I seemingly hate the boy population at my school, I’ve noticed not having a crush is boring.  But having a crush is too painful, (It says it in its name) I mean come on, theres hardly ever a time where your crush likes you back.  

Recently, all my friends has had some amazing boy or girl to talk about and Me? Well I was just sitting around giving relationship advice even though I’ve never been in a romantic relationship.  (Unless you count 2nd grade)

 Let me explain something, In my group, there are several girls and like three boys.  Everyone in my group except this boy and I had a crush or boy/girlfriend.  Now this is the part I regret, I was so bored with out having a crush that I some how started to ‘like’ The boy.  A week went by and I told my lady friends, and some how one of them ‘Accidentally’ told him.  So he liked me back and I noticed something was wrong.  When I liked boys in the past, I was nervous and scared.  But when I found out he liked me, I faked a smile.

And I feel bad because this boy generally liked me, and I don’t think I’ve ever liked him.  

Don’t worry, this was multiple months ago, and I’ve told him over the summer that I wasn’t looking for a relationship.  But I still feel bad, I’ve told my friends and they said I can’t control my feelings, and I shouldn’t feel bad.  

But I do.  I still feel bad because I feel that I leaded him on or something.