#lduts

"The true magnitude of that day remains lost to us all until several years later, on one peaceful, ill-fated morning. We learn that time, as we had always known her, is not the blessing that we’d thought she was.

For now, though, that's okay. We can leave the future in the future, because that morning is not where this story begins.

“The end of the world is really, nearly here. You can taste it in the air, feel Earth’s sentencing in every heavy hour that passes by in seconds, all too quick, too short, too thin. It is written across the skies and the stars, a timer or ticker, not visible but palpable in every panicked eye that looks above.

The end is coming.

It’s coming, and it’s terrifying.

Or, it should be terrifying.

Except it isn’t. Not quite yet.”

---

Chapters:

Prologue (1)

Prologue (2)

Prologue (3)

Prologue 4

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

This is a message that is long over-due. 

I am almost certain that next to no-one shall ever see or read what I write below. However, I shall write it anyway, with hope that this message shall serve to temporarily tie up any wonderings, should anyone happen to stumble across this blog-space of mine at any point in the near or distant future. 

An apology; from me, to many of you. 

This space of mine has been little more than a string of broken promises and unmet deadlines, a lot of disappointment and endless months of inactivity with little explanation. I haven’t been too well; there are not many details that I wish to discuss quite yet - but I will say that mental health can be very unpredictable and difficult to navigate. I have struggled for the last almost 18 months, but 2019 was particularly bad. My mental health took a steep decline. I spent many months feeling deep regret and sorrow for all of the things that I always wished to do, but never did. For things I shouldn’t have done, but did. For chances I never took, for moments I let slip by, and for the sheer amount of time I wasted in different ways. Among the mix, I mourned the passing of an old friend of mine, and the loss of a couple of friendships which broke-down for reasons beyond my control.  The entirety of last year was not what I envisioned it would be, not at all. It was a very lonely year in the end.

Many of my old joys became arduous. For a while, writing was not a hobby that I looked forward to; instead, my unfinished works became heavier tasks that I wished to avoid entirely. I would tell myself constantly that if I announced a chapter or a piece of writing would be finished by a date, then it would absolutely give me the motivation to do it. How could it not? A promise is a promise after all, I used to say! All this attitude did in the end was pile more and more pressure onto me. I felt like a failure every time these dates would pass. It got too much.

Now, I’m back on Tumblr again. Adjusting, slowly, and making no promise for when my stories shall be done. I am working on them with the gradual pace that I should have given myself right from the beginning. I am taking more time to make my stories all I hope they can be.

Thank you; to everyone who has sent supportive messages, to the people who have said that they shall continue to wait for my stories. Thank you to all who are still here; who still follow me, who are still interested, and for all of you who reminded me constantly how important it is to take care of myself, and take the time that I need instead of rushing for a deadline. Thank you to the people who still like and reblog my prologues on occasion. Thank you to anyone who reads this. Thank you to all.

I’ve had a few messages re LDUTS and why it’s taking me so long to post even one chapter - I am truly, very sorry! As it turns out, I have already written most of the fic and it is split into eight chapters. However, the entire word count stands at over 111k - chapter one itself is 25k. I am doing my best to trim it down because it is sorely needed, and I don’t want to put out this ridiculously long, wordy story that loses its ‘mojo’ (especially since this is my first fan-fic, and after all of the kind comments about the prologues I am determined to not flop the story and make it the very best it can be!)

Hey, hi, hello! Long time no posting!

I'll get straight to it; GOOD NEWS IS ON THE HORIZON. But first, a little interlude from me.

Actually, an apology. My lack of presence here has been quite ridiculous. I recognised that from the very first time my "evenings off" began to transition into days, then weeks, then months. Now here we are, in 2022, and LDUTS remains to be a story that I've only shared in dribs and drabs. It wasn't the way it was supposed to be, honestly.

There's been a lot of inactivity from me, and I could apologise a thousand times, but I've already apologised a thousand times and I don't want my apologies to appear like they're losing their sincerity. I am very sorry that I've been gone, and am very grateful that this blog space has continued to be a place that I could pop in and out of. But things are different now; I'll try to summarise so that this post doesn't become another rambling mess.

First, the background, for those who don't already know:

- I posted prologues for my first fic, (last dance) under the sun, quite a long time ago. The end of 2018, in fact! And straight away, I started to dip.

- Several different things happened at once; I had a beta reader intent on destroying my stories. My college and career took an unwelcome turn. My mental health was spiraling. I started to get sick.

- One of my favourite friends died suddenly. Completely out the blue, and the grief was made deeper because of the manner in which she died.

- I continued to get sick. And after everything else had started to settle, sickness, and pain, is what stopped me from progressing with my stories.

End interlude, and onto THE GOOD NEWS:

Recently, I've started to understand why I've been sick, why I've been struggling with everything, and have been discussing things with doctors. To my great surprise, I've learned that this blog space, and my many previous posts, and my being sick, are actually altogether one big symptom of another condition(s). Though I'm still waiting for my official diagnosis, doctors are on the same page as me. I always thought that my many failures and broken promises on here were because my mental health was falling. Instead, my mental health was falling because of another untreated condition. The way the cards are dealt, eh?

So, now that that's done and dusted, I'm extremely excited, for the first time in EVER, to say that my stories are on their way. And this time, I mean it.

In preparation for (last dance) under the sun, I needed to get both in and out of my 2018 headspace. So, the prologues I have already written for it have been edited. More added, things removed, some things tweaked. I'm in the process of uploading them, and am pleased to say that, work permitting, the first chapter of (last dance) under the sun will be coming in two/three weeks, but hopefully sooner.

And I may or may not already developed a crush on you 👉👈,, I mean?? Philosophy + Astronomy + Science?? Count me whipped, because that’s one of the best combination EVER. So tldr : I’ll be one of your devoted follower 😌 I swear that I have a feeling you’ll be a legend once TLDUS finished or even in your midway progress,, ilysm- your new whipped follower (cygnus anon)

Oh my goodness!! My first ask, ever. Thank you so much anon ♥ I’ve read this over and over again. Earlier today, I had a bit of a “low” and felt really down. You’ve cheered me up so much and I can’t thank you enough for your kind words! 

I’m so unbelievably pleased you enjoyed what I’ve written so far. I was incredibly anxious about going ahead with this story, and I’ve been kind of “sitting” on it for a while, debating for about two months now if I’m going to even bother. I can count on one hand the amount of compliments I’ve received for any of my writings that I’ve done in my whole life - 99% of the feedback I ever receive is critical, but not in a constructive way. I honestly feel my chest swelling a bit right now with this message! I can’t explain how happy it makes me!

Chapter one is coming very soon! I’m tweaking it, and after this I am so, so excited to share the first part of this story. Please stay tuned! And thank you so much again ♥♥♥