#lb 2026

Okay first to clarify, some people who have been following me for ages may know that I used to relentlessy complain about my sister's abusive bf. I even have a tag called "our neighbourhood cunt" dedicated to him. That's not this guy. She managed to get out of there a couple of years ago, dated another guy for 2 years who was the epitome of "go girl give us nothing", and eventually landed with the current man. Worst of all of this is that current man is probably the best partner out of the three. He's kind and loving, he has similar interests with my sister, he clicks within the family (so far), my sister's dog adores him so much she used to pee on the spot every time he walked in, and heck, I feel like even we've bonded over video games and love for cats. This might surprise people, I actually quite like him. When he and my sister are together I find them cute and my sister looks happy.

Unfortunately, he also acts like a little baby when it comes to contributing to the household and given the fact that he and my sister live together, that's a big downside, and if it were me, it'd be a dealbreaker.

And even that isn't because of malicious intent or because he wants to be mean. He truly thinks he's competent. He's not mean. He's just incredibly stupid.

A few weeks ago, they started thinking about the future, and even though they'd only been dating for a few months, they wanted to try living together. But ya know, in this economy??? So my parents let him move in with them and my sister so they could save up money and all that.

Around a month ago, my sister became gravely ill, up to the point that in the first week she truly was afraid she wouldn't make it. We're now a month later and she's improved a lot, but obviously, she is still severely ill. She can't leave the house. She's constantly dizzy. Her chest hurts. Her vision is bad. She's seeing doctors for it, so that's good, but it's just gonna be a long run, ya know? My parents have been caring for her, since it had already become clear that her man's useless. Even before she became ill, it dawned upon everyone that he is worthless. He's a 31 year old man who's been living on his own for over a decade, but as my mum and I agree, he's one of those men who, the moment he lives with a woman, decides he doesn't have to do anything anymore. And again, not even because of malicious intent. He truly is that stupid and doesn't realise how awful his actions are, especially since he always acts childish when my sister calls him out on it, refusing to change, since he doesn't see a problem. My parents have expressed their thoughts and displeasement, but it is her life.

And then this illness thingy happened.

My parents and aunt booked a vacation way before this, so it became clear to me I had to come down to care for her, because the alternative would be my parents and aunt cancelling their vacation.

I mean, there is also an alternative of her partner caring for her, but hey I also wished I had a couple of million euros to buy a house. Some things are just too unrealistic.

So I have put my own life on hold to be here and that is not a problem. I am bummed about missing out of stuff, and I had to cancel appointments and work and one of my volunteering projects may not work out now. All of this feels unfair, but my sister is worth it. And I also like being around her and I realised I missed her. Even if her man weren't an incompetent asshole, I'd still do it.

But as I keep saying, the bitterness and frustration doesn't stem from me putting my life on hold. Bruh, it's only 2 weeks. It's no big deal. It's unfair that I have to do it because the person who is the one who should do it, doesn't do it. It makes me think of what my friend say about an event they had to take over: the work isn't the problem, they like event planning, but the frustration comes from the fact that other people don't do the work and they had to jump in and deal with whatever mess the initial people left behind.

It is honestly kind of funny, or it would've been kind of funny if it hadn't shown how pathetic this is, to see people's face journeys when I well them I am caring for my sister who has no one, not even her partner who she lives with. Of course I told people, because I had to cancel stuff and all that. It's like "yeah my sister's gotten ill and my parents are on vacation, so I am there to care for her." "🙂‍↕️" "She's also been living together with a partner for weeks, btw." "🙃"

Truly, it's as if everyone understands how fucked up this is. What an idea.

I was fully prepared for him to be useless. Again, if I weren't, then I wouldn't be writing this from my parents' house. I'd be at Utrecht Pride. I was under no illusion that he would do anything valuable. And yet I still overestimated him. I expected the bare minimum of him, and I soon found out that I can't even expect that.

The way I say it, it's that I expected to have to deal with a 16 year old teenager who is just starting out independent life and doesn't really get it yet and therefore needs to be explicitly told to do something. And then needs to have 5 hours on the XBOX as a reward for doing one or two things. We're just ignoring the fact that this is a 31 year old adult man who's lived on his own for years.

But no, instead I got a 3 year old toddler who is finally old enough to use the toilet on their own without needing help wiping, who throws a tantrum when asked to do something, and who needs to be protected from criticism because "awwww they're just a toddler you can't expect them to do this!". We're still ignoring the fact that this is a 31 year old adult man who's lived on his own for years.

Because I came in here under the impression I had to treat him like that 16 year old teenager. I would have to tell him what to do and he'd be annoyed, but he'd do it with a sour face but it'd be done and then he can go play on the XBOX (or smoke a pack of cigs in this case).

Well.

Again.

I overestimated it. And the reason I say he's 3 is because, again, I cannot call him out for it. And not because of the usual "women cannot complain about men not doing anything since this is a woman's job anyway" thing, because I don't give a shit about that. Hey, I'm not dating him. He knows I deeply dislike him for this and he can die mad about it.

But because my sister cannot handle it. Like, physically and mentally cannot handle it because, again, SHE IS SEVERELY ILL. I learnt that the hard way. On day 2, I asked if he could vacuum and hell broke loose in this house. Turns out I should've taken into account that he also did groceries that day and the day before. Obviously, how stupid of me to think a toddler can do two things a day! There are plenty of adults who do groceries daily, but again, he's 3. My sister got mad at me for being unfair to him for pushing the vacuuming (I'd been asking for 2 days at that point), especially since I hadn't done much that day because all the chores I had planned on doing were pushed to the background cause I had to stay with her in her room since SHE IS SEVERELY ILL. And that made me flip but I couldn't flip because my sister was unwell, so I just cried for 30 minutes on the phone with my mum instead. Like, I come down to this place to care for her and I do more than that this man's ever done in his life, but I lie down for an hour to be with her, and ask if he still plans on vacuuming and suddenly I was unfair to him. I straight up told my sister he's not special for this. I clapped and asked if we needed to call the king of the Netherlands to give this man a ribbon for his contribution to Dutch society! He cooked once! Call the fucking presses!

(If the current prime minister still has the same e-mail as 5 years ago I could e-mail him and it'd be quicker than calling the king, but that's not the point.)

Look, I know my sister didn't mean it but it did not go well and it has genuinely led to me feeling like I cannot relax or game or do anything non-household related because then I am doing that over housework and I'd be giving my sister and her bf ammunition.

Also. Totally unrelated. It is 2:13pm at the time of writing this sentence. Her boyfriend just finally came downstairs from his bed. Or if he were awake, then he was up watching Netflix.

So there is just this constant frustration of him not doing anything, which is something I was prepared for. Like, I am not under the impression I can change him. That would make me even more stupid than him and that's a tall order. But I wasn't prepared to also have this extra layer of shit on it, namely the constant pressure to do something useful. Not only because, ya know, see above, but I also notice that when I don't do it, my sister does it. At day 3, she was in bed because of the overextertion, and I straight up forbade her to do any more household chores. I told her that if she sees something that needs to be done, she needs to write it down for me. Then when I am there, we can see what is possible for her to do, but under no circumstance should she take on that herself. I told her that's the reason I am here, because no one else can do it.

Her boyfriend is part of this no one, obviously.

And that makes me angry. I've only been living with this asshole for 5 days and so many times I am in the situation where my sister is lying in bed, I am cleaning, and he is either chilling on the couch with a beer or outside smoking. He could, you know, show initiative, but careful, a toddler does not have the capacity to understand those things. It'd be wrong to expect a toddler to signal that the kitchen is gross, or the floor is dirty, or the laundry is done, or the table is filled, and then do something. I cannot expect that of a 3 year old and it'd be incredibly rude to get mad at a toddler for not doing the dishes.

Man, if only a 31 year old adult were around.

Like, I wouldn't mind doing it. I live on my own. I run my own household. I clean my own house, so it's a lot but the main reason this caring for my sister is so heavy is not the workload, but the fact that I shouldn't have to do it alone. And my sister knows this, so she tries to help me out. If I don't do it, she will, with all the consequences that follow. Again, it would be so great if someone else could help.

But this only increases my pure hatred for this man. Why is my sister doing this? Like this morning, I physically wasn't there. I was out with the dog on a planned appointment. My sister cleaned the kitchen, did some dishes, cleaned the dining room etc. etc. YOU COULD'VE ASKED YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO IS UPSTAIRS CHILLING IN HIS BED. Or wait. No, you can't, because as we've established, that will only lead to more problems. Yesterday he may have realised I wanted to throttle him, and I also passively agressively complained to my dad that it'd be so nice if another capable adult were around to help me clean, with him sitting 1.5 metres away from me. He did do stuff! After my sister had to explain to him how to do it! Proving to me he truly hasn't done anything ever since he moved in here. The thing is... he did well. He even did.... multiple things! GASP! Maybe he is four years old after all. But this does frustrate me as well, because it shows he can clean. He just actively doesn't do it.

Like, I know that text post on Tumblr that says you shouldn't shame people for showing behaviour you want them to learn. You need to instead encourage it through compliments. And as glad as I was to see him get things done, it was also a bit sad that it shows that he is able to do it, and that makes me wonder even more why he never did it. Why does it need to take a sister-in-law complaining to someone else for him to do it?

Not only that, but yesterday he also said "don't worry about dinner", which my sister interpreted as "he's cooking again", but of course he didn't. Around 17:15 I went to the store to buy groceries, like many adults do on a daily basis, to cook and then my sister did most of the cooking since I am a godawful cook.

Did I mention he's a professional chef? Currently unemployed, though.

Hey, remember how I had to take two weeks off from my shitty drugstore job to care for my sister who has no one? I am making around €255 this month because I had a vacation of my own before I had to go here so I cannot work the normal hours I do.

If he were working fulltime, especially with those restaurant hours, it'd be different as well. Then it would truly be me being the person who's the most available to do all of this.

Anyway.

So even if he does say he'll commit to something, I keep making back-ups in case it'll fall through. Again, it took him 2 days or so to finally vacuum. This man can't be trusted to do anything. I am saying this because he said he'd cook today. Sure. I am not gonna do anything until it is once again too late. As in, I already have a back-up plan but I won't act upon it till my sister gets hungry and I have to. She'll have to deal with my cooking, but at least I have a plan.

--

So, hi. It is 9:49 the next day and BROOOOOO.

After I wrote that sentence, my sister called. Her friend had left and she felt so bad she immediately ran upstairs to lie down, with her bf in tow, so I went to check up on her. She felt awful. And yeah, gosh, I wonder why that happened. So while he was upstairs with my sister, I called my mum to vent. My parents told me to call them to complain to prevent me complaining to my sister, since as we've already established, speaking badly about him is very stressful for her.

I was so fucking angry because of what happened. How I was physically not there, so my sister did all the work, and then surprise, surprise, it went really badly! GOD IF ONLY THERE WERE ANOTHER ADULT- [gets dragged away, kicking and screaming]

My mum did make a solid point that he maybe had no clue that this friend were coming over, and my sister is the one who didn't ask for help. But maybe I am just petty, because I still blame it on him. My sister never asks for help. This is partially why this whole illness thing is so heavy for her. She is an independent woman, which you have to be when you are with an incompetent man. Like, before I left, I even made her promise to not be a big host and wait for me to come home to do it, and when I came home, the dishes were done, the table was set, the snacks were plated... and well, yeah, that is still my sister's choice and I also try to respect that she wants some autonomy that has been taken from her. And we've talked about it as well.

So yes, I get that my sister not asking for help cannot fully be pinned on him, but I had been with her for 2 days, saw how she didn't ask for help and then practically made her promise me to not that that again. I told here I am here to do that now. That's the whole point. And if she then breaks that promise, then that is how it is.

BUT THIS FUCKER HAS BEEN LIVING WITH MY SEVERELY ILL SISTER FOR A MONTH. Is he truly blind to what is going on, or does he just see a clean house, think "ah neat", and then doesn't connect the dots when he sees that my sister has to lie down for a couple of hours afterwards? Since I am already questioning his emotional intelligence, I won't be surprised if that were the case.

AND I HAVE THE TISM.

(Side note: I did actually reflect on this. My tism. And my caregiving, or lack thereof. When I was doing last-minute groceries two days ago, I truly sat there in the car thinking how I am not made to be a caregiver. My parents and sister know this. I live in my own world. I cannot deal easily with my daily plans changing on a whim. Even now, at almost 28 years old, I have troubles welcoming people in my house because even reminding myself to offer them a drink just... doesn't come to me naturally. It feels forced to me. I want to remain on my own and don't want kids, mainly for this reason. I am not cut out for that and a kid needs a competent parent. Luckily, my sister is a competent adult who unfortunately has gotten ill, so it's not that I really have to take care of a child. But it's her, a puppy who is fully dependent on me, and a 31 year old baby in this house, and I realised in that car that I am so tired because I usually don't do this. But I want to. For her, and the puppy. That's why I am here. I want to do it. I am just not good at it. At least I am aware of my shortcomings are a caregiver. We're all under the impression that my sister's boyfriend is of the genuine belief that he is caring for her. He even came home earlier from his vacation "to care for her". He's doing a bang-up job and I wished he had stayed away.)

Anyway, I was complaining to my mum about all that, but I did say it was hopefully getting better. As I said, he cleaned some things after my call with dad. He took out the trash and vacuumed and mopped. I sarcastically said "He even put the pillows back on the couch! Wow!"

The thing is just that I don't want to get my hopes up that this means he'll actually improve. As I mentioned, one of the things I cannot deal with is my own expectations of him, and the constant disappointment of "oh, he's STUPID stupid."

But my mum sounded genuinely happy and maybe even proud of him (???), and that made me think... really? This is the best version of himself? When I said he came down around 2, my mum was surprised, "because that is 2 hours earlier than before!"

It's improvement and patheticness at the same time.

I am happy to hear that he progressed so much in one day, and furious that this is seen as progress in the first place.

But what I said to my mum, I also find it hard to let the happiness thrive, because what the fuck man? Again, do you want me to hand him a Nobel Peace Prize next? Is the ribbon from the king not enough?

Anyway, he overheard me calling, which again, I do not mind. But he got super duper upset and cried! Awww boooo hooo hoooooooooo. He's so hurt. My sister said I am mean, and maybe I sound indeed like an ass, but I deserve it. I deserve to be mean. Scroll up to see my justification. I am mad because of him, and then he cries about it. Well, I hope he cried as much as I did. He feels pain. I hope he feels even a fucking fraction of how I have been feeling with him around.

He does nothing. I get mad at him for doing nothing. He gets sad. Everyone gets mad at me for being mad.

And then my sister dropped the bomb. Apparently, not only was he hurt, but he thought I was being unfair, because "what does she do?"

I literally set down my glass of coke in a dramatic way, started crying, and ran away. What do I do? More than he has apparently done in his entire adult fucking life.

Yes, I have been shooting him angry looks. He finds that hurtful. Yes, I get that. I send him angry looks when he's clearly not doing shit. I sent him an angry look when I was cleaning the kitchen and he was outside smoking a cig. I sent him an angry look when I was cleaning the dining table, and he sat on the couch with a beer. I sent him an angry look yesterday at 14:13 when he came in after not moving his ass, while my sister and I have been up and running since 7:30. I sent him an angry look when he comes back from doing what not in town (meeting friends and idk buy weed?) without groceries.

It's a reflex and at times I do think "ugh why did I do that?" but then I realise why, and that I can also not do it.

Two days ago, I sat downstairs. I was playing Persona 5X, he was watching Netflix. I didn't send him an angry look even though I was still mad at him, because there was no reason to. I didn't constantly turn around while Wonder was chopping up Shadows to show him my middle finger, because why would I?

Yes, I am angry. Could he, by any chance, be responsible for my anger?

And before anyone once again says that I should just instruct him to do stuff... well, scroll up and see how that backfired. Yes, I am passive agressive and annoying and straight up rude, but I was also very quickly given the feeling that this man needs to be protected from all harm. 3 year old toddlers, amirite?

I get so fucking tired of all the excuses people make for him as well. Everyone is telling me to let it go and suck it up.

"He still needs to learn." Then let him do it.

"He was raised this way. His mother did everything for him." Yes, when he was 18. He's 31 and he's been living on his own for years. He was living on his own before moving in.

"You don't know him. He's had a rough childhood." So did many in the world. Didn't know that would make you exempt of vacuuming the floor.

"This is not his house. He's a guest." He lives here. Can he show me another home address right now? No. Whether we like it or not, he is part of our lives and household now. He's a 31 year old broke unemployed adult man living off the dimes of his parents-in-law, which isn't necessarily a problem (again: in this economy?), but the least he could do is, ya know, help out.

"It's a lot for him, especially with your sister being ill and all that." Jeez, I wonder how that feels.

"Mum also had to tell you what to do in house and you didn't always do it." When I was 15. How old is this grown ass adult again? 31?

As I messaged my dad: "Am I the only one who thinks that a 31 old adult man doesn't know how to take out the trash of a house where he's been living in for months is utterly pathetic?"

I know he's trying his best in some way. He told me he could get me stuff from the store. He even gave me a juice box once. And he cooked salmon pasta because my sister told him I like salmon. I acknowledge that. I am not completely heartless and I thanked him for the offer and juice box.

Except I don't want a juice box. I want him to clean up after his ass without being a shit about it.

Two days ago, the three of us were having dinner and for some reason we actually talked about how partners should share work equally and he dead seriously said he agreed with that idea. And I wanted to slap him. You are saying that partners should equally share housework to your severely ill partner who's doing more than you and your sister-in-law who had to come down to cover for your sorry ass?

Bruh. Is this why tradwives don't want to care about feminism? Is it just easier to pretend that this constant anger isn't there? Do they like biting their tongue every time a thought that claims that this life may be unfair appears in their heads? Is it fun to constantly be underappreciated?

The ironic part is that I was actually going to thank him for cooking dinner. I was genuinely about to send my friend who I have been bitching towards a voice note saying that he did do something and maybe there's room for improvement and yeah, hey, this might work. After all, I notice I am in a better mood when he actually does something, and he also cleaned the paper and glass. I didn't even have to ask him to do that. He saw that himself. I was like "... not ideal, but as mum said, it's better than nothing. This might work."

But then he proves me once again what of a cry baby he is.

So fuck that, I guess.

I've come to conclusion that he does not recognise housework because he's never done it. His whole fucking life, women in his life have cleaned up after his sorry ass and that's why never comes to think why his life is clean. He does one thing and acts as everyone needs to treat him as if he's achieved world peace, but do you think he thanks my mother or sister (or even my father) when they do his laundry? Iron and fold his clothing? Mop and vacuum the floor he walks on? Pay for his food? Make his food? Clean his sheets? Take out the bins where he puts his trash in?

Like, I was walking the dog and praising her and cooing at her for pooping and walking straight, and I genuinely thought "do I need to treat him the same way?". I am not kidding. That thought truly crossed my mind. Do I treat him like a dog?

If he wants praise for it, then all I ask for it is the same in return. Next time my parents or my sister look after the space that he inhabits, I want him to fall down on his knees and kiss the fucking floor they walked on.

Yesterday, I was sobbing in the bathroom about how terrible this is making me feel. I was genuinely crying out that I want to go home, because unlike him, I do have a home elsewhere. I can't take the stress. I don't mind the housework and I don't even care much about his lack of anything because I am aware I should just continue treating him like a toddler and not expect him to be capable of anything, but I mind the fact that I am feeling all this anger and no one seems to be on my side here, all in lieu of protecting my sister's well-being. Which is true. This isn't fun for anyone. Not for me, not for my sister, not for my parents who should be vacationing but instead have to diffuse the situation from afar, and it's not even fair to this shit ass boyfriend. I hate the fact that I feel like I cannot relax at all, because if I take a second to myself or not do the work, then either my sister does it (IF ONLY WE HAD-) or I apparently prove them right that I am not doing enough. Yesterday I moved to my bed and cried for hours and I genuinely felt guilty, not because I feel like I couldn't be sad, but because this would mean my sister would take on more work. So, I wish I could just... leave.

But I can't. I can't leave my sister alone, because then she'd have no one. That's the whole point of me being here. She has no one. Her boyfriend is no one.

It drives home the point of how useless he is. I don't want to leave anymore. I have calmed down. But if I did, all would fall into shit.

If he were to leave, we'd all be better off. His contribution is so nihil, nothing big would change. It may even improve the mood drastically.

I had a painful migraine. My entire body hurt. I slept from 20:00 till 5:00 (because my sister's boyfriend finally went to bed and that woke me up) and then again till 9:00 until the dog was barking too loud for me to ignore. Luckily my sister's boyfriend walked her in the morning.

When I came down, I also saw that someone did the dishes. I fucking hope for his ass that he was the one who did them, not my sister, but then again we'd go back to this whole spiel of how I shouldn't have expectations.

Thursday

I left my place around 10:30 and arrived in London around 18:00 UK time, which was great.

I had planned on going to my first show at 19:30 and initially, Eurostar sent out an e-mail that there'd be delays and we'd arrive at 18:35. During the trip itself there were even more delays, but between Brussels - Lille - London, they made up for it. I unfortunately hadn't slept the night before and my wired earbuds died on me the moment the Eurostar started driving, but alas.

I booked a capsule in Picadilly Circus for £45 a night, which was great for that location. Since I am eerily comfortable with reading the tube map, it only took me 20 minutes from the Eurostar to my hotel. I dropped off my stuff and took a tube to the Fortune Theatre for Operation Mincemeat. I could've walked, but I was in a time crunch. I stood in line to buy a ticket at a box office, since I hadn't actually booked it, cause if my train were to have severe delays, then I wouldn't have been able to make it.

I got rush tickets for £60 or so and just when I took out my card to pay it, someone on Discord had sent me the link to buy tickets for £30 with the lottery (don't ask me how). I asked at the box office if I could trade it in there and they said only for next week. Well. I paid the £60. If only I had looked at my phone 10 minutes earlier. It was still a deal, though, because usually these tickets are £100, if I remember correctly, since this show has insane pricing.

I originally had planned on seeing Les Mis since that is a 3 minute walk from my hotel and AGAIN, time crunch, but the day before, someone convinced me to go see Operation Mincemeat. I even planned on, if needed, going to the theatre straight from St. Pancras, since there was no fee for late check-in, but luckily that wasn't needed. This person made the compelling argument that Les Mis is forever, and I'll get more chances seeing Les Mis elsewhere, and I agreed. I am so glad I went to Operation Mincemeat. It is so fucking funny live and it was easier to follow. During intermission I spoke with another person who saw the show in a whim and we agreed it was amazing. I was a sobbing mess during Dear Bill, which is great because unfortunately, the actor playing Hester et al. didn't reach any of his high notes, but Dear Bill was stellar. I had a full principal cast and it is genuinely impressive how these 5 people play so many characters. During intermission, that person was convinced there were 9 actors on stage! That moment when Spillsbury just turns into Hester on stage had me gagging. What the fuck. THEATRE!!! The quick changes and blocking and UGH THEATRE!!!

I bought a button afterwards. I had hoped for a pin or a magnet, but alas.

Afterwards I looked for a Pizza Express, since I had skipped dinner to go to this show. On my way from the Covent Garden station to the Fortune Theatre I had passed a Pizza Express and hey, I had read about that in a Snowbaz fic once (... yeah). Not only that, but a chain felt nice. I wanted a quick, small bite, because I was insanely tired, but I had to eat. I walked into the general direction of this pizza express and in my tired state I instead walked into a somewhat fancy Italian restaurant and I had no fucking clue it wasn't Pizza Express till I was seated and the waiter handed me the menu with the name of the restaurant on it. Well, that explained why this Pizza Express was weirdly fancy for a chain restaurant. In hindsight I really needed to just sit down and take my time, so this was a happy accident.

And I got to people watch. There was a gala at the Royal Ballet and Opera and fancy dressed people were everywhere, including in this not-Pizza Express. There was also a group of American ladies who looked like they came straight out of Gossip Girl. I was given a window seat and more people specifically wanted window seats because apparently King Charles drove past the restaurant, since he attended aforementioned gala. The street got closed off, camera's were everywhere, coppers started putting on their lights and the Gossip Girls started yelling "tHE KING! OH MY GOD THE KING!!!" so I can say I was only a mere metres away from the current monarch of the UK. Dunno if that is something to boast about but after everything this was a wild way to end my first day.

I went back to my hotel and in my earlier rush to the Fortune Theatre, I hadn't realised that this would greet me when I got back:

What a view. Truly, stellar. I may have almost cried. But I had to go the fok to sleep.

Friday

I woke up around 8:00. The capsule was fine enough. It did get really hot in there and I found out that that's the main complaint of people. Not only that, but the capsule does not lock properly. It does from the inside, so I did feel safe and secure sleeping there, but the non-working locks are very bad. I didn't mind too much, because my suitcase was locked and my most important belongings like my passports were on me. And you also cannot enter a dorm with capsules without a key card. Still, it's not, uh, good that you cannot lock the capsule properly and I wasn't the only one with this problem.

I slept like shit, though. That's why I woke up at 8:00. I had given up on sleeping. Two nights of no sleep in a row, yippie!

I got a tea at Gregg's and ate one of my many protein bars that I had bought in the Netherlands to avoid a repeat of the prepackaged chocolate croissant drama from 2025. Then I decided to go to my first other thing I wanted to do: go to the official Nintendo pop-up store at an Argos of all places at Tottenham Court Road. The shop was very disappointing, but I did buy a swordfighter Kirby plush and a fleece blanket with Pikachu's on it. Outside of the shop, I managed to get £30 rush tickets to Oh, Mary on the TodayTix app as planned. Or, well, I hoped it'd work according to plan, and it did. I actually had a lot of time, compared to the other days, since Oh, Mary's matinee started at 17:30 for some reason, so I went to Uniqlo in the hopes of finding a specific bag and I failed there, but they did have Mofusands t-shirts for £20 so I bought one. I didn't plan on it and it did stress me out, but I had saved money since January and not only that, but my parents paid for my hotel as a graduation gift (I think? It was a surprise), so my budget had become larger, so t-shirt it is! After that I walked to the Forbidden Planet megastore and I swear I didn't plan it, but I bought another Mofusands thing, namely a insulated travel mug that was on sale. The rest didn't really interest me, or it was too expensive. They only had one thing for Persona and it was a big button with Robin Hood in it and I didn't like it.

It was finally time to eat dumplings at Beijing Dumplings, so I walked back to Chinatown and ordered what I had last year as well.

I also walked around Covent Garden for a bit and took a photo of the Donmar, of Next to Normal and Great Comet fame.

Then I chilled in my capsule, since I was very tired and I had time. Around an hour before Oh, Mary I grabbed a sandwhich from Pret A Manger at Trafalgar Square and it was time for the show. Since I knew I didn't have much time after the show, I bought a magnet beforehand. I sat in row 7 from the stage for £30! I had an understudy for Louise, but apart from that, principal cast.

I'm not going to lie: it took me a while before I got into it. I was starstruck by the fact that I saw Catherine Tate with my own eyes, but I didn't like the play that much at first. People kept laughing around me and I didn't find it funny. The comedy was built on Catherine making funny faces or doing funny voices and it was just "flauwe humor" as they say in Dutch. But once the storyline of Mary wanting to run away with her new love started, I got into it and it became good, and by the end, I was hooting and cheering loudly. Like, holy shit. That ending was amazing. I still don't think this play is as good as I wish it were, or as people made me believe, but ultimately I am glad I went to see it because it was indeed a great watch. Let's just say I am glad I paid £30 for it.

I had half an hour between this show and Kinky Boots, but it's a 6 minute walk between theatres. I saw the cast list and I had an onstage swing on for Don, but apart from that, principal cast again, including Courtney Bownam. I actually jumped when I saw she was on. I also bought a pin set. The show was great and I was on a first row of the dress circle, slightly to the right. It was good. The show was good. It is indeed different from the Broadway and earlier West End version, but it was stellar. What a set, what a blocking! The actor playing Lola was a better dancer than a singer, but still stellar, and the actor playing Charlie was also fine. During intermission I found out he's a pop singer and yeah, uhhhh, I noticed. These actors are apparently big names and celebs in the UK, and Jojo (Lola) was in Doctor Who for half a minute or so as a celeb cameo, but I only knew Courtney and I realised I was a bigger fan of Courtney than I thought.

This was also a BSL performance, which I did not know, and the BSL interpreter absolutely killed it. I loved how he changed stances when portraying Lola. It's insane that only one person did this entire show. Interpretation is no joke! Although I suppose this isn't on the spot interpretation and he had time to prepare. Apart from the alphabet, I know no BSL, only ASL, but sign language is always gorgeous to watch. At certain "boring" moments on stage, I watched the interpreter instead.

The energy in the audience was also off the charts. During the finale there was an audience member in the stalls standing and dancing and pointing towards the stage even before the bows, but they were so into it. So was I. And oh my GOD the pride flag and Don kissing George? I yelled. I actually yelled. The fact that they dressed George in a leather daddy style glitter outfit also had the audience gasping and cheering. And yes, I almost cried when little Lola and little Charlie appeared. During the bows I kept hitting the balcony and I yelled "COURTNEY!!! COURTNEY!!!!" during her bow.

After that, I actually exited the theatre next to the stage door. I usually don't stage door, but hey, I was there now. I had nothing to sign due to the not-stage-dooring-thing, but what if... I could.... get a photo with Courtney? The usher also kept yelling that Jojo maybe wasn't going to come out to sign, but I think I wasn't the only one who missed the memo that this guy is a big deal. I mean I kinda knew, cause while booking the tickets the sites specifically mentioned when he wasn't on, but still. People came out, including crew and band, who said they didn't need applause "cause I just did the sound", but I said that tech, crew and band are needed and need appreciation too! Also, the mother of young Lola wanted her son to bow and all that, but he got really shy. After a while, the usher confirmed that Jojo wasn't going to come out, but again, people stayed. I was here for Courtney! Unfortunately, after a while the usher said all the cast members had left. Well. Time to walk back to Leicester Square where I got a burger from Jollibee's, since I realised I needed to eat before going to bed. And in the hotel I got water from the vending machine, which was a whopping £3, which is €3,46 or so. Painful.

Saturday

Luckily, I slept well and long. I needed it. I had an alarm for 9:55 for the rush tickets, so that's how long I stayed in my bed. And the alarm paid off, cause I got £30 rush tickets for Into The Woods! This lie-in did change my plans a bit. I had hoped to go to Gay's The Word around 9:00 so I could go to Bun House around 12:00, but ah well. Instead I showered, had breakfast at Pret A Manger since I realised I craved something more healthy than bacon (from Gregg's) and took the tube to Russell Square for Gay's The Word.

Except... Holborn and Russell Square were closed. I quickly looked up what was going on and apparently a huge left-wing pro-Palestina AND a huge right-wing anti-immigration protest were happening ON THE SAME DAY. The Met police spent £4.5 million on police and security alone. To make matter worse, the final of the FA Cup (Chelsea vs. Man City) was also on. Long story short, it was not a fun day to be in London, especially since I had to get off at King's Cross and I was in the middle of all these Unite The Kingdom wacko's. So many "Make Great Britain Great Again" caps. Great crowd to be in as a tiny Asian gal with a pride pin on her bag. Luckily, it was calm around Russell Square and Gay's The Word. To be fair, I don't think Tories would willingly go to a queer establishment. I bought the Wayfarers series by Becky Chambers. I had seen it before in a Waterstones the day before, but it's also around £42/€50. But also... I had a bigger budget and I wanted to support Gay's The Word so I bought them. There was also a stall with pro-Palestine people selling Palestinian goods and to, I guess, rid myself of the aura that the wacko's left behind, I bought soap there.

Then I went back to Picadilly Circus to drop my stuff off, and then fled to Chinatown, another place where racists probably don't go. I felt the time crush again, so I didn't go to Bun House. Instead I bought a disappointing cheese and pork floss bun from the Chinese Bakery and walked around till it waS TIME

TO DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

YES, IT WAS THE GUY WHO DIDN'T LIKE MUSICALS TIME.

The line was insane and so many people dressed up. My only Starkid appearal is last year's hoodie and I didn't want to bring that to save space, but I was content watching others. I got my pre-ordered merch, although they did have some issues finding it since apparently NIMAX saved it under my middle name instead of last name, but I was ready to go.

I, stupidly, bought tickets with restricted viewing. I had actually forgotten this till I got the tickets in the mail beforehand. I know why I did it: spending money gives me existential shit fear up to the point that I had a friend who needed to sit next to me to buy it. I had second row dress circle to the right. The second row dress was great. The to the right not. It wasn't horrible, to be honest. I only didn't see the far right of the stage and my back did hurt a bit from bending during the show, but even though it could've been better, I was still good enough to see the stage. The people who sat even more to the right saw the wings and Matt Dahan on screen across from the stage, so yeah, it could've been worse.

It's just....

JUST....

STARKID!!! I saw a fucking Starkid musical live. This wasn't my first time seeing them live, but I never thought I'd be able to see an actual show of theirs, since their whole production journey is unusual. The show was great. I went in without knowing anything about the Reprise production. I usually buy the digital tickets to their shows, but I didn't now. It was also just a treat to see how, for Starkid's doing, the production value was off the charts. There was an actual set? They had rigging and what not? They'd come a long way from two cardboard pillars.

And GOD the show was amazing. TGWDLM is upper mid-tier in my ranking of Starkid shows, but it is still a good show and I also say it is a good introduction to Starkid in general, so them doing this show is fitting. Everyone was amazing, although I must admit I found Mariah a bit "off", but she was still great. Iván, the newest member, is my new favourite Hidgens (although I still have to see Will's) and his comedic acting was show stopping, ha! I read a review of a non-Starkid critic who called him the standout of the show, and I am inclined to agree. But the entire cast was just!!! AAAAHHH!!! I also am still not over the fact that I saw these people in these roles. Jaime, Corey, Lauren, Jon, Joey, Jeff and Mariah!!!

I also cannot believe they turned Tied Up My Heart into one of the best parts of the show.

It is definitely an enhanced version. The music is different with more complex instrumentation, James redid the choreography in a spectacular way while also keeping the iconic Workin' Boys dance in, the costuming and wigs were even better! It is The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, but better in every way!

During the curtain call, I was estatic. And one thing I also realised is how amazing it is to have people cheer for Matt Dahan and Juliet Park, who also got a shout out during the bows. After the stuff at the Kinky Boots stage door, I realised how unique it actually is that Starkid's crew and creative team gets recognition and love. Reading the bio's of people like June and Alejandro and Brian made me as excited as the ones of the cast. Since people pay Starkid to mount these shows, Starkid is always very open about where the money goes and that does give a platform to these roles in the theatre as well. I don't know the name of the stage manager of the other 6 shows, but here I started screaming "JULIET!!! JULIET!!!!!" at the top of my lungs since I was genuinely starstruck when I saw her little wave.

I had to leave eventually. That was the moment that made me the most emotional. I realised I didn't want it to end. This happened. This JUST HAPPENED. Starkid is the reason I got into musicals in the first place and I had just seen their West End debut. As they said:

FROM THE BASEMENT TO WEST END!

I immediately walked to the box office and frantically said I need to see the show again and asked if there were tickets. No. I knew this. This run is utterly sold out. The person of the box office told me to check the NIMAX site at 10:00 the next morning for late release tickets and otherwise go to the box office before the show starts, but no promises. I thanked them and left.

After that I dropped off my merch at the hotel, which is across the street. Truly, the location was amazing for a theatre girlie. I had to move on. One of the reasons I wanted to see TGWDLM again is because I didn't really have time to let all of this sink in. I had to go on. Into the Woods was actually the only thing outside walking distance, since it's off-West End, so I took the tube and then had to walk for 15 more minutes. And with all the shit in central London that day I did not want to risk being late, so I left towards London Bridge almost immediately after TGWDLM. I did stop at a biang biang noodles restaurant underneath the train tracks for food, since I wanted biang biang mian and it was delicious. I made it in time to the theatre where they actually did not scan my ticket (lol?) and I bought a pin. With the TodayTix app, you cannot pick your seats and I was pleasantly surprised again. I had the front row on the raised stall left.

I'm gonna be honest. Into the Woods was probably the best show I saw this trip, so I am so glad that the same person who convinced me to go to Operation Mincemeat convinced me to go here. Initially I had Les Mis planned on Thursday and Operation Mincemeat on Saturday.

Also, I didn't look up the cast and damn, Melanie La Barrie as the witch, Rachel Tucker as the baker's wife, Bella Brown as Rapunzel and Chumisa Donford-May as Cinderella? Especially since Melanie and Rachel are replacements. I had understudies on for Cinderella's prince and the Giant/Granny. Agony was so fucking funny, by the way. Into the Woods is so fucking funny, which is why it hits so hard that it stops being that the moment the Narrator gets sacrificed. But yeah, the witch just straight up mumbling "fuck" when Rapunzel doesn't hear her had me in stitches.

I was so tired, guys. Before Into The Woods started I realised I am never doing this again. 7 shows is nuts. The moment the show started I shot up and got revived, but my God. After the show I took the tube back and I had an "oh God I have two more of these" moment. And I was, once again, hungry, so I got off at Leicester Square to go to my beloved Chinatown. Most things were closed, since it was after 22:00, but this street food thingy was open and I got a cha siu bao. On my way to the hotel I resigned myself to buying another £3 bottle of water, but one of those touristy vape-souvenir shops sold 1.5L bottles for £4, so that's what I go. Yes, I know you can drink tap water in the UK, but all the water was warm in the shared bathrooms and it also just tasted gnarly. I suppose I am used to fancy Dutch water. Man, I needed that water. And I needed sleep.

Sunday

Another night of little sleep, although more than the first, so that was a win. I woke up in time for the rush tickets for Six, although once I managed to get hold of some, I cancelled, since I realised I really, really, really preferred TGWDLM over Six. I kept refreshing the NIMAX site, but it was so utterly sold out, so I made a "stupid" financial decision: I bought the £30 rush tickets for Six (or £26, since I got £4 off after buying multiple tickets on the app) with the idea that if TGWDLM tickets become available, I'll buy those and then that's unfortunate for the £30 Six tickets. I just knew the chances of going to TGWDLM were very, very slim, so I'd probably go to Six and if I willingly let £30 go for idk £60+ rush tickets at the box office, I'd feel really REALLY bad. This felt like the best option, cause TGWDLM or Six? It's a win-win situation.

Of course, the moment I got the Six tickets, a TGWDLM ticket became available for.... £89 or something, which is around €100. Yes, row 4 from the stage, but uh, oof. I had hoped for £60 most, especially since I just got the £30 Six tickets. Well, I took a shower to think it over and the choice was made for me, since the ticket got sold.

Maybe I should've done it. Who knows.

I got a breakfast deal at Gregg's. I called my mum and sister and sat at Leicester Square when my friend's ex walked by. Like.... what are the fucking odds? IN THE WILD. There are millions of people in London. I knew he was going to go to London around the same time, because he booked the trip when he was still dating my friend, but oh my GOD? I messaged my friend who insisted I talk to him, since this is insane, and I actually hung out with him and his friend for over an hour and it was fun. They had also seen TGWDLM the day before (evening show) and they actually went in blind! After we parted, I finally went to Bun House for a beef bun and cucumber salad, because again, I craved a vegetable. Bun House is so fucking good.

After lunch, I went to Covent Garden to go to an art store. My sister was looking for a specific pen, but it wasn't there. Then I walked to a pet store that I had visited earlier to buy a toy for my sister's dog.

Then it was Hadestown time. I had booked a seat for £27 on Wednesday and it sure had a pillar in view. The pillar on the left wasn't that bad. I had more restriction on the right since I sat next to the tech booth and they had completely closed that off. It wasn't a good seat, but I also didn't mind since this was my 4th time seeing it live. A fifth is coming next year, since it just got announced it's returning to Amsterdam. Anyway, it was Hadestown. I love Hadestown. Hadestown is always good and it always takes my breath away...

... but this cast... is probably my least favourite cast I have seen (and that includes bootleg casts). From the main 4, I only liked Persephone. I had an understudy for Hades, who was a great actor, but didn't reach the low notes with grace. Orpheus was also great acting wise, and added funny shit. His delivery of "It's me!" in act 2 had the audience laughing. But he kept singing really silently and "weakly". It was a choice, since at the more heroic moments he did sing his heart out, so I think it was to convey how nervous and shy Orpheus is, but it wasn't great to listen to. Someone back home did say that maybe his microphone just didn't work properly, but again, at times he did sound good and I sat next to the tech booth and I didn't notice them stressing over something, and it remained for the entire show. Hermes was at times fucking amazing, and at other times didn't hit his riffs, so that was unfortunate. I liked him better in his one Doctor Who episode. Eurydice was disappointing. I thought she overacted and she took out all the long and high belts and notes that Eurydice is known for, so all her stuff just sounded flat. You know how people compare Eurydice's big moment in Wait For Me (reprise)? Yeah. Uh. I liked her better in her one Doctor Who episode. And, okay, she did let out a little scream when she got dragged back to hell, and that broke my heart.

Shout out to the audience member who said "... ah shit" when Orpheus turned around.

At least the Fates and Workers were great. Sebastian Lim-Seet was on as a worker. I saw him in 2025 in, I think, his Orpheus debut and I think I said it in the previous London blog, but I cried when he bowed since it made me realise how much it meant to see a southeast Asian Orpheus. So I admit I mostly watched him during this performance.

After the show I went to the Apollo Theatre, which is next to the Lyric, in hopes of box office TGWDLM tickets. I had been refreshing the NIMAX site periodically all day to no avail. This also led to nothing. The box office was closed. So I accepted that Six was the show I was going to see and walked to the closest M&S Food in the hopes of finding tea for my parents. They requested a specific supermarket tea. Not even a fancy one like a Fortnum & Mason or TWG's tea, just something you can get at Sainsbury's or Tesco's. I suppose M&S is already too fancy, since they didn't have it.

I decided to go back to the Hadestown stage door in the hopes of seeing Sebastian. Last year I regretted not telling him how much it meant to see his Orpheus, partially since I had no time. On my way to the Lyric, I saw some people with Starkid merch in front of me. Suddenly, they stopped to make a photo with someone.

IT WAS JON MATTESON.

I RAN INTO JON MATTESON IN THE WILD.

I was absolutely starstruck and unable to speak. Jon was in a hurry, which is fair, he was in-between shows. He only had time for that one photo, so it was nothing more than a "Hi Jon!" "Hi." "G-Good luck." and then he was off, but oh my GOD? I spoke to those Starkid fans afterwards about how lucky they were, cause OH MY GOD? I guess that was my TGWDLM-fix for the day.

Back to the Lyric for Sebastian. I really wanted to tell him how important his Orpheus was. I even considered sending him a DM last year, but then time passed and it just felt weird. The thing is, I was again in time crunch, since... Six and dinner. Luckily for me, he was the first to come out (unless someone came out when I was at M&S), so I told him and he said it meant a lot to him and thanked me for saying it. Then I told him I came to stage door specifically for him and I had to dash, so I did just that.

I was so tired, so I did sit in my capsule for, like, half an hour instead of getting dinner. After Saturday, I realised getting dinner before the show was a bit futile, since I would get hungry afterwards anyway (and I still had 4 protein bars left). It was time to walk to Six.

We made it. My seventh show. I actually managed to do it.

I got seats in the dress circle, so no stalls rush tickets this time, but it was a great seat. Definitely better than the ones I had in Rotterdam when I saw Six there. We had the worst seats and that experience taught me it's better to spend a bit more for better seats. Although, yeah, rush tickets for £30, babey!!!

As much as I preferred going to TGWDLM, I must admit that seeing Six felt like a homecoming in a way. I had a massive Six obsession in 2018 - 2019. Up until the pandemic I knew the names of all the Queens around the world. I had alts for Aragon and Howard, and it's good that I looked it up before the show, since apparently they stopped doing the alt specific costumes. I had no idea, that's how much I lost track of this show in the past 6 years. I find it sad, and maybe they still do it for the super swings, but I do think it was great that they had those alt costumes so I was sad to see it go.

Six was amazing, even though uhhh Howard did mess up with her singing every now and then. Ah well, she isn't the first to make mistakes in this trip. In fact, Into the Woods was the only show where no one slipped up. Six is just good fun and it was also fun to hear people who have never seen it before react to it. And the best part? I was out of the theatre at 20:30. It was still light out there. You know, after all my tiredness, I needed a shorter show. I did go to Sainsbury's to finally buy that tea for my parents and at that Sainsbury's I did see the atrocious chocolate croissants of last year. I had to snap a photo. They're legendary.

Then back to Chinatown for dinner. I ate japchae and drank 2 iced teas that hit the spot at a Korean restaurant. Then it was time to hit the sack, or capsule. I needed to snork mimimi so badly.

Monday

I had an alarm at 9:00, since check-out was till 10:00. I cleaned up my capsule, packed my stuff, got ready and left at 9:30. I did pay £15 for luggage storage, since I had some time. I had to be at St. Pancras at 13:49, so I had around 3,5 hours left. I finally got that bacon roll at Gregg's. I saw it on the menu on Friday, but wasn't hungry, so decided to get it on Saturday, but then I went to Pret. And on Sunday it was sold out. So FINALLY!

I went to Waterstones Picadilly, which is also a must-see, but due to my entire planning it took me till the last day to go there. I called my sister for that blasted pen, but it wasn't the one she needed. Then I took the tube to Bond Street. Fun fact, if I hadn't made this detour, I would've been able to travel all 4 days with only topping up my Oyster (£20) once. Truly, the location of my capsule saved travel costs as well. Why did I make this detour?

On Saturday, my friend Sammy asked if I had time to go to the Jellycat store in Selfridges. I made no promises due to my insane schedule, but I had time now. I called her to confirm what she needed, but unfortunately once I navigated Selfridges to find the right store, it was all sold out. This Jellycat craze is insane. I video-called Sammy to show where what they did have in stock and she also remarked how crowded it was for a Monday morning. I left empty-handed, but I am still glad with my detour since I appreciated a change of scenery, and I went to another Waterstones to buy a bookmark for my sister, since she asked for that since the whole pen thing wasn't working out.

And I went to IKEA, since wtf, I needed to see how they crammed a 3 story semi-underground IKEA in the heart of London.

Then back to Covent Garden for the art shop, since I had seen a HIMI gouache palette that interested me and I thought "fuck it, I am here now and it's only £15!" I have seen quite some stuff about HIMI, but it's not available in the Netherlands outside of Amazon. I have only ever seen it "in the wild" when I was on the other side of the world, namely Indonesia, which makes sense since it is an Asian brand. I have always wanted to try it, but those palettes are big and need to be flown in. But this was a smaller one on sale, so yay.

To honour Peter Spankoffski, I got a hot chocolate at a Pret A Manger on my way back to Picadilly Circus. There, I spent my last 20 minutes or so at the Waterstones, since it has free restrooms. I had lost access to the restrooms in the hotel, but I knew of these. I also just browsed some books but nothing stood out to buy and I had already spent enough money. I did not want to check my bank account.

Around 13:20 I got my luggage, hopped on a tube, and arrived 10 minutes before "call time" so to speak. After customs I bought a sandwich for the Eurostar and once on the train I was glad I did buy that Pikachu fleece blanket, since it gets so cold here. I arrived in Rotterdam around 19:30 and the connecting train back home stopped across the station. In that train, I did speak with someone who had also come off the Eurostar. He and his husband had seen 3 shows in 4 days, including Into the Woods and Hadestown, so we talked about that and...

"Did you also see multiple shows?"

"Yes. 7."

"Wow, did you stay for a week or what?"

"No, also 4 days."

".... what."

"Yeah, I know, I am never doing this again."

We parted ways at Utrecht where I bought a pokébowl for €6 (ah, euro's!) as dinner since I knew I was going to be absolutely dead once I got back home, and I ate that in my last train. And indeed, the moment I got home around 22:00, I locked my front door and made a beeline to my bed. I did get up around 22:40 to actually get my pyjama's and toothbrush from my suitcase and all that and then slept till 10:00.

What a trip.

The next day, I bravely checked my bank account and found out I actually stayed within the budget I had been saving up for months. I had €2,56 left! Can't even buy a bottle of water for that, but I find it very funny. Anyway, here's my haul:

I am now drinking tea from my new Beanies mug. God, it's been a week and I still cannot fully fanthom that I saw a Starkid show live.