#laverii

Mithos looked over at the campfire, watching as the smoke floated up into the Tethe'allan night sky. It was a long way to Altessa’s house from the Flanoir continent where they’d ended up- thanks to the traitor and his fancy facilities. Even with the rheiards, the group was too exhausted from their conflict at the remote island ranch to make it all the way. They'd decided to stop and rest in the meantime, which was fine- for those who actually needed to sleep, at least. 

Mithos had spent the time pretending to sleep, waiting patiently until it was Genis’ turn to keep watch so that they could keep each other company. He had an excuse all prepared about how he couldn't sleep, how he was plagued by nightmares about what would've happened if he hadn't shown up to save them back at the ranch. Nightmares. They were something he hadn't worried about in the time since he’d become an angel. Now he was living a nightmare instead.

He heard some commotion around the fire and closed his eyes, lest someone catch him staring up at the stars and question it. A few minutes after the movement had died down, he pulled himself out of the sleeping roll and made a beeline for the fire, where he knew Genis would be sitting.

But for all his wisdom and power, he’d somehow miscalculated.

It wasn't Genis sitting by the fire, but the human girl Presea. Mithos took a step back, but she’d already noticed him, and there was no getting out of it.

“Is something the matter, Mithos?” she asked, just loud enough for him to hear her across the camp. He smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry. I thought you were Genis.”

“I couldn't sleep, so I agreed to take Genis’ watch,” Presea replied. She patted the ground next to her. “If you can't sleep either, come sit by the fire.”

“I… I will. Thank you.”

Mithos wasn't used to this kind of treatment from a human, and he was tentative as he sat down beside her. She was one of Genis’ friends, but he was never sure how those so-called ‘friends’ would speak when Genis wasn’t around. She seemed friendly enough, though, and there was something about her that made him curious about what was going on in her head.

“I'm sorry to bother you,” Mithos began again once he was settled. “I was having nightmares about what happened, and-”

“I see. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.” Presea waved one hand. “I know how frightening nightmares can be. But you're not alone. We’re all here together.”

It was a kind statement, and Mithos smiled. “But you still have your work cut out for you. After this,your friends are going to help you find the murderer that killed your sister, right?”

Presea’s smile faded. “...yes. I suppose that's why I cannot rest. Knowing that Alicia’s killer is still out there somewhere has me uneasy. This hatred within my heart is scaring me.”

“It's only natural,” Mithos assured her with a nod, “to want vengeance for a life taken too early. You aren’t wrong for that.”

The fire crackled between them, and Presea looked over at Mithos with a warm glow reflected in her eyes. “Thank you for saying so. I fear the others might admonish me for such feelings of blind hatred. But you understand.”

More than you know, he wanted to say, but chose not to. In a way, he was still surprised at the depth to which she understood him. Mithos had never expected to form such a connection with a human. Genis wouldn't understand, not this. He loved his sister, but she was alive. He could never fathom the pain of losing her, the horror and the loneliness. Genis was his friend, but… perhaps Presea could be his friend too. 

At least, until they learned the truth of Cruxis and betrayed him or pushed him away, just like everyone else. Could this human truly understand what he felt like?

Mithos took a long, deep breath, and asked with no reservations.

“If you could bring back your sister, but it meant losing everyone you considered a friend… would you do it?”

Presea froze. “...what?”

“If it meant losing your friends-” Mithos repeated, “-that they’d all abandon you in the process, would you accept that as a necessary sacrifice to bring Alicia back?” 

There was a pause. Presea choked her answer out, still unsure of what was being asked. “How could you ask such an unspeakable question?”

“It’s a thought experiment. Nothing more.” Mithos took his eyes off her, sensing her discomfort. She wasn’t going to consider the question so easily.

“But why would they abandon me?” Presea fidgeted with her hands. “They are the ones helping me find Alicia’s killer. Surely if there were a way to save her, they would be the first ones to agree to help-”

“Just consider it,” Mithos pressed. “I’ve heard it helps assuage grief to talk about it. To sort out priorities.”

Presea went quiet. Mithos looked back over to see her staring intently into the fire, watching the way the flames hugged the logs. “I…” she began, “...I could never push my friends away. If it weren't for them, I would still be nothing but a hollow shell. I’d never have known what happened to Alicia. Without them, I wouldn't feel right reuniting with her. Without them, I… I could never.”

“Never, huh?”

The two went silent again. The fire had begun to die down, and Mithos reached for another dry log, feeding it gently into the flames. Presea shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat. 

“So I say,” she replied, and Mithos looked up from the fire again in surprise. “But if it were truly possible to bring Alicia back, if I were truly faced with this dilemma, I might not be able to answer so easily. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I might consider sacrificing my friends for my sister’s life- if only for a moment.” Fear glinted in her eyes. “I know it’s wrong, yet I’d still think about it. Does that make me a bad person?”

Mithos opened his mouth to say ‘no,’ but something stopped him. He caught sight of Noishe out of the corner of his eye, the massive beast sleeping curled around Lloyd. An earlier conversation with Noishe tugged at the back of his mind, and he could hear the creature’s frightened whines, as though terrified of what Mithos had become.

“...I don't know…” Mithos finally answered. “I'd like to say no, but… the truth is, I wonder that myself sometimes.”

“You-?” she asked, and then stopped herself as though she decided it was too personal a question. They stayed quiet again, both staring into the fire for what seemed like hours. Presea’s answer should have hurt him. But instead, it seemed to satisfy something deep within his heart. Mithos had been told that he was wrong before. Chosens facing their death, countless traitors among Cruxis and the Desians over the years… but they all rang hollow. They don't understand, he’d told himself, they could never understand. Finally, he’d found someone who did. Someone whose grief was still raw, who held a burning hatred in her heart for the one who’d taken her sister’s life. And even she, for all her emotion and understanding, thought Mithos was wrong.

Was that what he wanted to hear this whole time?

He didn't know. But it made him feel better nonetheless.

“Thank you, Presea,” he finally said, and she nodded without looking at him.

“I hope you find your answer someday.”