#lauryue

xiao, episode one.

"look, guys, there's crabs over here!"

you'd forgotten how unnatural hu tao could be at times. usually, being placed as class president is a novelty students celebrate, but after being forced to organise the beach trip to 'release steam', you weren't so sure. it took half of your will to live to even get everyone's signatures and the rest of it was being expended on trying to stop the public from judging hu tao's shouting.

still, being president is a role you can't forgo, so your feet meet sand quicker than you'd like to admit. "hu tao, i'm glad your happy, but aren't those, like, dangerous?"

she laughed, throwing her red bucket in the air. "mmm, maybe! apparently they're a very good judge of character," she beamed, but her new 'friends' were far too close for your comfort, especially once the brown-coated crab on her palm made itself known.

ganyu had joined the fray too, shyly scooping up one of the smaller crabs from the bucket. "woah, they're actually quite friendly."

"since when were crabs ever known for being friendly?" you probed, crossing your arms. it wasn't exactly harmful for them to be playing with sea animals... but if one of the younger years stumbled upon this and got hurt, it was definitely you who'd be placed at fault.

you bit your lip. "okay, fine. i'll hold one, but if i say they're dangerous, your putting them back."

hu tao nodded eagerly, fishing another crab out of her tub, its back a dusty blue. she softly placed it into your hands, which you raised slightly to get a proper glance at its face. (okay, maybe this was pretty cute...)

"ow!" or not. you were quick to notice the stabbing pain through your finger, and the claw which had attached itself. you quickly screamed, closing your eyes and praying it would just leave of its own accord, but the annoying guy wouldn't let go. if you had another second of the thing clawing to your hand, you'd be sure to hit hu tao, but the pain soon calmed.

"hu tao, you should've known better. no one should be playing with the crabs round here." oh. you recognised that voice, mainly because you only heard it at school meetings. finally, you opened your eyes, meeting green hair and a crab now sitting calmly in xiao's palm.

she huffed. "okay, sorry! i didn't realise it'd be that mean..."

he just sighed softly. "we should probably go clean that cut," he'd noted, before pulling you away from the group. you'd only just noticed his hand had been holding your injured one.

it was a little bit shameful to have to tell your history teacher that you'd cut your hand open because of a crab. even worse, you knew he was related to xiao in some way. though, before you knew it, you were sat under a parasol whilst xiao opened the first aid kit.

the silence was loud, even for a busy beach. you coughed. "um, i'm sorry for this. i was just worried about the younger years getting scared, y'know, and... yeah."

you looked up. xiao was smiling slighty; you'd never seen him do that. "it's fine. i know hu tao has some rather outlandish habits."

you hummed. that was true. hu tao had been in your class for a few years now, and she hadn't changed. maybe you wish she had, because the antiseptic wipe stung more than you wanted it to.

"sorry about that. but, nearly done." his fingers soon went for the bandages, wrapping a few layers around your finger. he wasn't exactly harsh, more so firm in what he was doing. once he was done, he gave your hand a light pat, like signalling he had finished his job.

you nodded at his handiwork. "impressive. at least i know who to come to when i get attacked by sea creatures again."

xiao had managed to laugh at that. then you paused. didn't hu tao say crabs can read people? "wait... you held the crab just fine, right? it only bit me!" you then looked over at hu tao's station. there were at least more than ten now, stroking the back shell of the crab without question. you groaned. "what the hell?"

albedo, episode two.

it was embarrassing to admit, but you were pretty sure you've liked albedo since the first day you met him. it was the day of the dreaded maths exam, and you were seated next to him. he'd subtly slid his answers to your side. you were usually a dedicated student, but having a guy risk expulsion to help you on a test? husband material.

so, it was no surprise when you wrote him a letter of confession. it wasn't exactly easy: what return address could you put, locker 483? so you just put his initial on top and stuffed the letter in before school begun. you weren't sure of his exact locker, but you knew it was near one of the doors, so you slid it through the grooves of the appropriate locker and moved on.

you tried getting a peak of him at break; he was stood at his locker with one of his classmates, al-haitham. they were both looking down at something, presumably your letter, but ayaka dragged you away before you could even catch his reaction!

though, you'd imagined, no biggie. you had maths with him later on in the day, so the answer would be revealed then.

"hi, albedo," you smiled, already sat in your seat. you had been expecting 'letter' to be one of the first words mentioned, but...

"hi."

what? you looked over at him, to see him busying himself with whatever task maths had asked of him. you blanked; this is definitely not the way these confessions play out in anime. "you, er... read anything good lately?"

he hummed. "not really."

it felt like a sucker punch to the gut. had he just not read it? no, you were sure he did, you literally saw a peak of the letter when you walked by him earlier. maybe he didn't understand your intentions? but you made them perfectly clear...

the lesson passed by much slower than usual. you didn't attempt more conversation, and neither did he. in fact, you don't think he could've left the classroom faster. had you offended him that badly?

you were the last to walk out of the room, except your way was blocked.

"name."

"oh, al-haitham? what's up? i don't think i owe a library book..." you drifted off, looking back up at him.

he evaded your eye contact. "no, not that; i just wanted to apologise. about your letter. i'm sorry, i don't feel the same way."

you scoffed. "is this his way of shutting me down? wow."

al-haitham finally looked at you. "he? why are you referring to me in third person?"

the bell rang to officially signify students should be leaving now. "you? what are you on about? that letter was for albedo, but—“

"no. you put it in my locker."

your face dropped. "what?! that was for albedo. i even put an a on the front!" maybe that was a slight fault in your plan. albedo, al-haitham... you can see the mix-up now. "i'm so sorry, i have to go!"

if you were quick enough, you'd be sure to catch him. your feet pounded against the tiles of the hall in fast succession. was that the reason for his coldness before? even if not, you can't risk it; albedo would definitely avoid you if it was.

there was only one place he'd be. you slammed the lab door open, being met with his eyes staring dead into yours. "name?" it was still that cold tone, but he approached once he saw your panting figure.

"did something happen?"

"the letter's for you, not al-haitham! i didn't put your name on it because i knew my friends would tease me for it. but that was my mistake and i'm sorry, truly. if you like more not, that's up to you. but i couldn't stand you not knowing the truth."

albedo placed his lab goggles on the desk finally, walking over to you. "i see. i will admit, i was slightly surprised you'd asked al-haitham out for coffee. but to answer the question in your letter: yes, i'd love to go to that cafe with you."

wanderer, episode three.

valentines at tevyat high could rival any of the big holidays. huge banners of hearts laced the hallways, heartograms were available to send to that special someone; but most importantly, the chocolates.

you'd made a rather big batch. enough for your friends, your parents, even for your neighbour's little kid. you'd stared at the last pouchful, tackily decorated with a red bow and labelled 'wanderer'.

initially, he wasn't in your list of givees. he snuck his way in there like he snuck his way into both your mind and your heart. even so, when they lingered in your palm, you didn't exactly know what to say. happy valentines day seemed optimal, but you had no true reasoning for making them. you weren't particularly close, and...

a girl in the lower year approached him as you reeled, exclaiming a sweet cheer before skipping down the hallway. you'd managed to see the heart-shaped cardboard in his hand. there was no chance you could give them to him now, he'd just received them from another woman!

so, you'd agreed that lunchtime would be best. you spent four periods hyping yourself up. it's just chocolate, he'll appreciate the gesture, it's not like you've never spoke. still, to you, these were a statement. i choose you. or maybe not, considering this is only school, but still!

your hands held the pouch once again, feet finally moving towards his lunch table. there was sethos and cyno, all appreciative of the attention, but wanderer definitely had the most. two girls were at his shoulders, not to mention the pack that consumed his free space, all with chocolate in hand.

seriously? maybe this was a pointless endeavour. you wanted to give him a sweet treat, not contribute to his teeth rotting. the pouch found its way back into your bag once again with a heavy drop. you manoeuvered your way around their table, ignoring the glare directed straight into the back of your head. probably a love-struck girl angry that your in the general vicinity of her crush.

therefore, you couldn't help but wait to go home; the only obstacle was your last lesson. you’d gotten there pretty early, considering there was nothing (or rather, no one) to spend your time on in substitute.

you’d been focusing on your book when the door opened with a harsh whack to the wall. there was barely any time to look at who it was before the scraping of a chair filled the room: and then he was sat in front of you.

wanderer. with the most pissed off expression you’ve ever seen.

“have you been avoiding me?” his fists were tight against his chair.

you hesitated. “no… why would you think that?”

he grumbled, grabbing his bag and pulling out a sleek box. it must’ve been from a bakery or something, the golden logo reflecting against the light in the room. “i’ve been trying to give you these all day but you’ve left every time.”

“oh! oh. wait. valentines chocolates? for me?”

“don’t read into it. just have.” wanderer pushed them forward.

you smiled. “well, in that case…” you reached into your bag again, lifting out the red pouch. suddenly, it didn’t feel so scary as before.

he didn’t react outwardly, but his hands took the gift quickly. “are these homemade?”

“yeah. it was pretty hard.”

you didn’t miss the slight blush that graced his face.

lohen, episode four.

out of all the days your body chose to be sick, it had to be today. you were supposed to be going out with lohen today, but you had to cancel because you woke up with a striking headache. he'd left your message on seen, so it was a clear sign he was too mad to speak. would he forgive you if you just left him alone?

your chain of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door. before you could even answer the person, however, they quickly entered your room. blue hair and red eyes were your first clue (you hated figuring out who it was just off of colours, but your headache meant your glasses were a definite no-go). "how are you feeling?" and that was your second.

"lohen?" you mumbled, hands rummaging on the side desk. water, book, but no glasses... dammit. this wasn't how you wanted to present yourself to him.

he quickly walked over to the desk, grabbing the frames with adept ease. his hands hesitated, but eventually folded them open and placed them on the bridge of your nose. "there ya go. much better."

there were many questions you wanted to ask; how he got in, why he came in the first place, whether he was still mad. but your cough got you first, and lohen wasted no time in sitting on the edge of the bed. he rubbed your back whilst the fit pursued, then sighed. "you're really sick, huh?"

"what, are you saying you thought i was lying? is that why you came?"

he hummed. "well, no. but if you were lying, i'd be pretty impressed at how hard your trying to keep this facade up," instead, he raised his right arm, revealing a plastic bag.

lohen had actually bought some useful things for someone whose sick. a thermometer, painkillers, a flannel and some soup.

"wow, my knight in shining armour, thankyou."

"well, couldn't have my favourite class president dying, could i?" he'd taken the thermometer out of the packaging, placing it under your tongue. "plus, maybe i had ulterior motives. we were supposed to go out, and i kinda thought you'd bailed intentionally, so..."

you raised your brows. "and if i had?"

"you don't wanna know."

there was something about lohen that could be ridiculously unnerving. you never knew if it was the fact his eyes reminded you of a vampire, or hid oddly violent tendencies in and out of the classroom. now was one of those moments: his smirk, albiet cute, was not helping the chills running through your body.

the thermometer finally beeped, and you pulled it out. "39.3."

"celcius? wow, pres. impressive fever you've got there."

you scraped a laugh. "yeah. this is so boring, though. we were supposed to go out, and i was so excited! that pop up literally lasts two days..."

that was right: you and lohen had planned to go to a music pop-up, by your request. they were handing out the new cd by one of your favourite groups. lohen hadn't exactly remembered the name, 5wirl or something. still, you were clearly pretty bummed about missing it.

"well, you couldn't come see the fun, so i had to bring it to you." he reached further into his bag, holding two of the new cds. they both had tiny scratches on the covers (you daren't imagine how lohen resourced these) but they were still as good as you imagined.

"lohen, your clinically insane. this is... oh my god, it's like i'm dreaming!" you squealed.

he laughed loudly. "see? having a fever isn't so bad when you have someone who can grant your dreams for you."

"i'd call you a drama queen, but i'll let you have this one, since you've been so gracious."

that seemed to appease him enough. "so, the plan is i make your soup and we can listen to their new album together. how does that sound?"

you couldn't help but grin. "deal."

kinich, episode five.

as class president, you were usually in charge of most of the activities throughout the school year. however, the most important was always the summer festival. last year, the previous class president forgot to save enough funding for it so they cancelled... and got made fun of for ages after graduation. you could not let your legacy be the same!

and, for the most part, it had been going well. as a celebration for the students in the final year, there was music and food and dancing. you'd watched your friends enter before, who practically begged for you to join them, but the pressure was too much. what if someone got hurt, and they needed your help? nuh-uh. no leisure for today.

well, that was the idea. it was growing late at this point; nothing had gone wrong, really. you sat at the benches towards the beginning of the festive area, staring at the lights. it did truly seem beautiful... but, it wouldn't be wise to go.

"hey." he'd stood in front of you before you'd processed it. he was a close friend, considering he always gave you a hand whenever you struggled with the logistics of being class president. his garments tonight were definitely more relaxed compared to his usual school uniform.

"hi, kinich! just in time for the main event! so, the trail goes forward to food and mini games, and,"

"yes, i know."

you paused. "oh, right. what is it then? looking for someone?"

kinich looked around before his hand outstretched. "kind of. i think you should come look around with me."

"ah, i don't think it's for the best. i need to stay posted in case anyone needs me. i can enjoy from outside."

he tilted his head. "but you can properly appreciate the work you've put in when your actually in it. come in, if anything actually goes wrong, that's the teachers responsibility." he pondered for a moment. "take this as you repaying me for the favours from this year."

you couldn't deny that he had a valid point. anything seriously wrong could be tended to by the teachers, or any responsible adult for that matter. kinich had extended you much help this school year, to which you hadn't payed him back. plus, you also hadn't ate yet, and the food smelt so good... "fine. i accept. but if anyone asks, you dragged me away from my post."

and, archons, were you glad that he'd asked you. it was incredible. the lights glowed up in a warm yellow, illuminating the whole atmosphere, and you couldn't help but bask in the festivities. it felt like he prepared for this beforehand; he bought skewers before your stomach could rumble, joined in on crafts before you gave him puppy eyes, and even found the perfect spot to watch fireworks whilst you quickly caught up with friends. they had been gushing about how he'd asked you before any of his other friends, but that wasn't even confirmed, right?

you found your way back to him, where he greeted you with a small nod. "i, er, have to thank you for tonight. i mean, i wouldn't have even seen all these things if you hadn't have asked me to come with you. and for buying those skewers; i swear i'll pay you back!" that was most important. you remember mualani mentioning how kinich is with his money.

he shook his head, turning to look up at the sky in wait for the fireworks. "you don't need to pay me back. not with money, anyway."

you were about to probe him on what that meant, but the booming of fireworks soon caught your attention. they rippled in the sky in a gorgeous sparkle, and to be frank, you were too enamoured to notice kinich staring at you.

xiao

dating xiao, in your eyes, was one of the best things you did. your parents loved him enough to invite him to every family gathering, and he somehow wormed his way into your dogs heart when he moved in.

or maybe that was the exact problem; as students with similar majors, you were around each other constantly. xiao was in half your classes, the same study groups, and then you'd go back to see him at home. it was never about being bored of seeing him, never, but you had always loved the individuality you had growing up. things were easier when you didn't have to constantly consider the feelings of someone you saw twenty-four seven.

it was a selfish thought, that you were aware of, but you couldn't help the nagging feeling of wanting to have your own space. but what were you supposed to say: hey, can you quit your classes so i don't have to spend as much time with you?

although, you probably should've mentioned these feelings to xiao properly instead of having a screaming match with him as soon as he got home one night. to make matters worse, he didn't even shout back. he'd tried to calm things down, failed, and just accepted his fate. the following morning he'd packed his things with swift efficiency, but the most time was spent with your retriever, coco. you'd felt bad for a while. after all, not only was the dog practically his too, but your friends, family; xiao had just agreed to avoid them without debate.

it had been two years since you last saw him. it was lucky, considering he was living with his dad in your city. sometimes, you'd see him view your stories or like your posts, and that regret would come back.

you groaned, dog lead in one hand as your other maintained typing on your phone. this music was awful; you didn't need depressing ex songs to send you back in memories. whilst trying to find something a bit more uplifting, your hand slipped slightly on the lead.

"jeez, coco, calm down. there's nothing to be that excited about."

the retriever kept tugging with a fiery determination. you tried pulling him back, just to slip from your fingers anyway, and he made no hesitation when bolting further into the park. your hands dropped your phone back into your pocket as you ran after her. "coco! where are you even—“

she'd found her target, alright. it didn't take longer than a few seconds to recognise him. you'd always said you liked his green hair, because it was unique enough to catch him in a crowd.

well, if you had noticed it in time, you would've definitely swerved.

"oh, uh, hi," xiao nodded awkwardly, his hands in limbo between petting coco and raised to you as if to say, 'i'm not hostile.'

in your mind, this had all played out quite differently when you imagined it. still, you couldn't deny that now you were in front of him, it was a pleasant surprise. you hummed. "hello, xiao."

coco barked, demanding more attention from him, which xiao gave in a reserved fashion. "oh, seems she missed you," you commented.

"well, i'd missed her too, so."

you nodded. this was so awkward. after two years, he still hadn't changed. same cologne, same hoodie that you used to wash for him on sundays. did someone else do that for him now, or—

"who washes your clothes?"

no, did you actually just say that?

xiao looked up with a quirk in his brow. truly, you had expected him to run off and call you deranged, but he stayed. "my dad. still living with him," he adjusted his gaze for his next words. "but he doesn't do it as good as you, if that makes any sense."

it did. you felt in when you fed coco, or took a test without him giving you a stern study session beforehand. sometimes. you'd even get out another plate before dishing up dinner. the one with a slight chip in it after you'd been reckless with the dishwasher. he said it was a symbol of love. seriously, after two years, you were still doing all of that.

"xiao, would you like to get coffee?" coco had barked in tandem, like she knew what you were saying. he smiled easily. would it seriously have been this easy?

"yeah, i'd like that."

albedo

albedo had always felt that he had a close-knit family. after his mother passed away, his auntie alice had moved in to take care of them, bringing her daughter klee with her. then, another boy the same age as him called durin not so long after. his family might not have been tied by bonds of blood, but he felt love was always present.

he'd experienced that even more when you used to visit. you had always been prepared: roses for alice, drawing supplies for klee, and durin had usually thanked you prefusely upon bringing a new book for him to read. apparently, you used to write notes for him to read in the margins. he hadn't realised till you stopped visiting their home.

at first, he avoided every trace of you. bagged his old bedding and replaced it, but that still didn't get rid of the scent of you, so he asked to swap rooms with durin.

(that didn't really help either. but he couldn't let durin think his sacrifice was in vain, and he definitely couldn't replace all of his belongings).

for the months that followed, it was just a known rule to not talk about you. klee would always slip up at times, as kids do; albedo couldn't even complain because he understood why they missed you so much. hell, so did he. you were one of the most insightful people he knew when it came to people, except maybe his auntie.

though, even a year later, it seems he can't escape mentions of you. they were all at the dinner table; alice had caved and bought chinese takeout.

"albedo..." klee started, her hands making a mess of using chopsticks. "i know we aren't supposed to ask, but why does name not visit anymore?"

he had heard durin sigh next to him, but that was no matter. it had been his fault in the first place; he told you ages ago that he didn't have the time. how was he supposed to explain that to a six year old, when klee knows him better than anyone? that he did have time, but not the effort. even worse, she looked on the verge of tears.

"just because you did something wrong doesn't mean that we did! can't you just ask?" her lip wobbled, chopsticks now discarded on the table. her feet pushed away against the carpet, and with choked tears, she made her way to her room.

his auntie had huffed a breath, muttering an excuse me before following after.

looking down at his plate, albedo ignored durin's small words of comfort, "i'll call her."

durin paused. "who?"

"name." it's not like he needed much convincing, anyway. he was out of his seat and heading into another room before he heard a rebuttal.

the phone rang out four times before someone answered. there was total silence on the end of the line for a few seconds; "okay, albedo, if you don't start talking in the next few minutes, i'm ending the call."

of course you knew he was there. you knew him best.

"hi. i'm sorry if this is random. er, klee just started talking about you again. i know we haven't spoke in a while, and it's a huge ask, but..."

was he seriously going to ask?

"could you come over? and— this isn't just for klee, it's for me. but, then again, if your still angry," he wouldn't blame you if you were, "just take it as a favour for her."

again, the line had drowned itself in silence. "name? are you still there?"

your voice came across slightly muffled. "i can come. but if it's not too much to ask, could we talk over things from last time?" the breakup. it had been the last time you spoke, considering you stormed off crying after he had asked for his belongings back.

his lips formed into a small smile. "of course. i have a lot i want to say, too."

you hummed. "well, i'll be over soon. don't get too excited!" you had laughed, properly laughed, before ending the call. even in the last few weeks you were together, albedo hadn't heard that sound. he was too busy avoiding you.

but, this time, things could be different. he was sure of it.

kinich

your local cafe had seen you in every state. after passing your exams, getting a new job, getting soaked in the rain, reeling from your breakup and even now, two months later.

people had told you every minute, 'oh, things will get better!'. well, if being better was still rocking up in his black zip-up to the one place where you both had your first date, then maybe they were right.

at first, it was embarrassing. all of the regulars used to coo at the fact you and your sweet boyfriend came in every week. kinich may have been a man of few words, but he had always prioritised you; it was always his card that had clicked pay before yours. everyone at the cafe recognised it.

so yes, they did notice when you came without kinich for the first morning since you'd met him. it was much easier to say that he got caught up in a sickness bug than admitting you had broken up with him after being finding out he had secretly been texting mualani for weeks. they still pried, but you monopolised on the free coffee 'for the stress he must be putting you through whilst sick' and left.

(it didn't exactly help that kinich apparently went two hours later, bright and healthy. he'd texted you about the lie you told in the evening, but you were quick to block him after that notification came through).

still, he may have once been all for you, but that chat log with mualani was inexcusable. apparently she liked him at one point; therefore, seeing nine text notifications and two missed calls was enough evidence for you to call it off. you didn't need to know the details — they had been talking for weeks and that was enough.

some would call wearing your ex's hoodie a crime to your dignity, but hey, that had already vanished two months ago. you couldn't part with it, because it did remind you of the primarily good moments the two of you had. so much for getting over him...

"wait, name?"

hearing that voice, you jumped out of your skin.

"ah, kinich... it's you!" you couldn't tell if that was the voice of someone pleasantly surprised or horrified. still, you turned, giving him a glance before looking down at your own clothes. did he really have to see you dressed like this? you were still wearing his hoodie that he never picked up, with joggers that had seen better days. and your hair—

"i didn't think you'd still have that," he mumbled, before tugging at the sleeve. you hated how your wrist followed with ease.

"it's good for winter. thermal conductivity." that was the lie you had told your friends, too. you don't know why; kinich always ran warm, so his jackets were thin.

still, he accepted your flimsy excuse. that was when you felt it, the watchful eyes of most of the regulars in the cafe. you weren't thinking about onlookers in your somewhat anti-climactic reunion. "err, have you ordered?" you rushed to ask.

kinich nodded, which gave you enough permission to drag him into a corner booth. he stared at you. "well, that's a surprise. you've been screening my calls for weeks."

"that's kinda what someone does when they block someone."

"for no reason," he added, his right hand moving with his voice. a quirk of his you'd always noticed; he could never stop gesturing whenever he felt strongly about something.

"pshh," was he being serious? "you literally cheated on me!"

a great moment for the waiter to drop both your drinks at the table. his face was clearly one of surprise, as his mouth dropped in awe. he didn't even say one of their usual happy catchphrases, running to spread the latest rumour through the mill.

kinich halted his words. "...cheat?"

"don't think i didn't see your texts to mualani! and all the calls! for weeks, right in front of me!"

he chuckled. "seriously? i was planning for us to go visit the resort she works at. for our anniversary." to prove his point, he quickly lifted out his wallet, showing you the two tickets neatly placed. easybreeze tour tickets for, you guessed it, your one-year anniversary.

"i kept them in my wallet in case... i dunno. you came back to me. and then i just kept them because i wanted to."

"so... no cheating?" he shook his head. "and mualani isn't a big deal?" another head shake.

well, now you felt silly. you hadn't even checked their texts, just assumed; and now put you both through two months of pain for nothing.

"sorry," you muttered, looking the other way.

"i'm just glad you were wearing my hoodie. i don't think i'd have recognised you otherwise. your hairs totally—“

"don't finish that sentence!" "i was going to say different."

god, you'd have to end that rumour mill now.

lohen

"you know i only ask this because your one of my only guy friends, right?" you teased, eyes passing across lohen who was beside you.

usually, break ups are a messy entanglement of she said, he said, and it results in nothing except regret or sorrow. for you and lohen, you couldn't say the same. you were still close friends; he came round to your house, cooked meals, texted you like you were still together. you saw it as the best conclusion to a relationship you thoroughly enjoyed.

lohen, on the other hand, fucking hated this situation. you were acting like you didn't even have history, and yet he was the one left dreaming of kissing you again every night? if he had any backbone when it came to you, maybe he would have actually spoken up about how insane this situation actually was. you'd dated for four years, broken up for three months, and yet you were so quickly back to being buddy-buddy? though, he supposed that having you close here was better than nothing. it's not like head to watch you go off with anyone else.

"this guy asked me out, and i don't know whether to say yes. should i?"

he slowly shifted to look at you. "are you being serious, bunny?"

you had hummed, eyes shifting back again to the magazine you'd been reading. from this angle, he could see the necklace he'd gifted you years ago, two ears dangling from a circle. it reminded him most of his favourite animals, and of you, so he quickly purchased it. but, you were still wearing it; was that a sign you still loved him? or a fucked up torture device?

there was an easy route to this, one that could still keep him in your good books. give the advice, then go and beat up whoever the hell this guy was. he would argue he's a much stronger guy than most; if they couldn't bean lohen himself, they didn't deserve you.

but then, if you did find out, you'd be quick to throw him on the streets. that means he'd never have a redemption; one fleeting chance to say the break up was a stupid decision and have you run back in his arms.

"is he... nice? the words felt like venom on his tongue. lohen wasn't always a nice guy, and yet you lasted four years. what about an angel incarnate? engagement? marriage? he couldn't watch that play out.

you mulled it over. "err, i don't really know him. my friends just sent me a picture of him and asked."

lohen smirked. "show me."

this was the true test. you can tell everything from someone's appearance, he'd learnt that the hard way. as your hands moved to pass him the phone, he could barely hold back a laugh. he could pick anything out! a bad hairline, a frown which could show bad intentions.

his eyes scanned the screen immediately.

"wait— fucking varka?" he yelled. you had titled your head, but his tirade was only just beginning. "varka? my boss, varka? you've literally met him!"

"he seems... cute." you shrugged.

"okay, i've had enough of this," lohen sat up, facing you directly. "i don't want you seeing other people. we were together for four years, bun, i'm not getting over it in twelve weeks. you can like me back or not, that's fine, but i can't watch you do this in front of me!"

he heard your giggles first. "wh—okay, what's so funny?"

"haha, it worked! it actually worked!"

"huh? what worked?" his hand was on yours now. sneaky guy.

you wiped the tears from your eyes, "varka asked me to do this because you were being so mopey at work... i just said yeah because i would've asked you out again anyway. pffft, this is amazing!"

lohen smirked. "intentional, huh?" he was even closer to you now. you hadn't noticed. "i'll get you back for that one."

wanderer

your old relationship with wanderer had always been described as odd. he was standoffish, even with you at times, though you swore he was different behind closed doors. at the end of the day, other peoples opinions weren't supposed to sway either of your minds; you were happy with eachother, and that's the priority.

well, that's what you had preached in the beginning. but after being told from your siblings, friends and practically everyone you interacted with that he 'never seemed interest' in you, you were hasty to cut it off. it was one of those decisions you had always regretted, and always would, especially since he still remained in your close circle of friends. you had always wondered why they all kept him around if he was such a disinterested guy, but they must have saw something you didn't.

that thought lingered at every hangout: you'd see him across the table, typically enjoying himself (though pretending he didn't). was this the side people thought was careless? you had never figured it out. it wasn't like you were together for long, a few months, but you'd liked him for longer. probably since you first met him. whether that was reciprocated, you had never been certain.

it was another one of those hangouts, though. the ones where you'd all crowd at someone's house and do random shit because you were all unemployed or bored. last month it was a movie night, you'd avoided wanderer with every bone in your body, but it was game night tonight.

not like you were really in it. you were surprised you had still been invited, considering you had an argument with one of the biggest personalities in the friend group. you were still permitted to come, but you couldn't help getting bogged down over it. after all, half of your friends were eyeing you up like they held pitchforks.

"okay, food break!" one of your friends had exclaimed, most of them running to the kitchen. they'd been cooking up a pot roast all night, so no surprise there.

you failed to follow, staring at your cards in the palms of your hand. then, the weight of another adjusted beside you on the couch. he was there; you hadn't noticed him get up to move.

"...hello?" it was more of a question than a greeting.

"you're wearing the scarf. the sad one."

hearing that, in any other context, would've made you laugh, but you knew what he meant. when you had been together, and even before then, wanderer always said that he could tell when you were upset because you wore the pink scarf from the back of your closet. it was comforting, but it was certainly annoying that other people could tell. or maybe it was just a wanderer thing.

but he was giving those eyes. you could never hide anything, not that you'd want to, but he had that certain look which made your words tumble out rather than come out carefully selected.

"i had an argument with someone here and i feel like everyone's mad at me 'cause they kept looking at me during the game. not competitive way but like ugh why are you here way—"

wanderer scoffed. "who?"

you looked around, before whispering the name into his ear. you didn't want to start anything new, and it sent an electric shock through your body to be that close to him again.

"her?" he looked deep in concentration as he spared a look for the cards in your hand. "i don't really like her anyways."

"huh? why?"

"because she was one of the people who told you to break up with me, right?" he looked at you.

your face flushed. "what? it— er, no—“

"shut up, i'm not blaming you," his fingers plucked a card. "it just annoyed me, since they were just doing it for their own personal gain."

well, that thought had crossed your mind since the breakup, but you daren't mention it to anyone in case you were wrong. but the scarf, the reassurance... were these things typical with a guy who doesn't care about you or your relationship?

"though..." he groaned. "i want to get back to where we were before. if you'd want that."

your eyes went back to the card he'd chosen. four of hearts. was that a coincidence, or?

"yeah. i think i'd like that, too."

cyno

"you may now kiss the bride!"

cyno, at his young age, loved going to ceremonies such as weddings, purely because he saw you and him at the forefront. he never questioned whether it would be him waiting for you at the end of that alter, or who his best man was going to be, giving the largest speech on his infatuation with you.

except, now that he was actually watching his first wedding since your break up, he could understand why people held such disdain for them. when there's no one to join the ceremony with you, or even to imagine yourself with, it's a much more boring affair.

he had never even asked if you wanted to be married in the future, nevermind to him. he just always kept it locked as a dream, one he could confidently rapture to you when the timing was right.

it was a shame the timing had never come, or maybe he'd missed his moment. watching you exit your shared home for the final time was hard to swallow, way harder than any confession would be.

truly, it was disgusting for him to be thinking about this. it was one of his friends weddings, yet he was sat here wondering about what you were doing. it was still relatively early; were you making breakfast? or still in bed? if he was there, he would've made you breakfast anyway.

"is it bad that i already know what your thinking about?" tighnari grumbled from beside him, jabbing him in the chest.

cyno just smiled into a sigh. "no. it shows we're a perfect pear. like— pair, pear."

"you can't seriously be doing this at a wedding," he whispered, frustration oozing despite the ongoing ceremony.

cyno returned to watching the happy couple. you hadn't spoken in a month, but he could still picture you perfectly. he was sure you'd wear a dress with flowers, you had always been obsessed with making chains out of them. he would ask to play genius invokation before the big day, and you'd probably slap him. that's where he wants to be.

everyone had slowly started fanning out of the hall when cyno had tugged on tighnari's arm. "tell the couple congratulations for me. i'm going."

"going? going where?"

"to tell her i love her, and that i'm going to marry her."

tighnari's jaw gaped open. "you're proposing to her? are you an idiot, you haven't even seen her in a month!"

cyno just shrugged, smoothly working his way around the sea of people. you could say no, but he was pretty sure you wouldn't. he had a feeling for stuff like this.

his car swerved in front of your flats soon enough. he probably should've conserved his energy for the big speech; instead, he ran up the stairs and pounded on your door like the world was about to end.

"god— i'm coming, i'm coming!" he heard you shout from inside. then the door swung open, and you seemed more exasperated than anything. "cyno?"

"marry me."

your hand dropped from the door handle. "excuse me?"

"well, that wasn't how i wanted it to come out. i was just at a wedding," as if you couldn't tell by his suit get up, "and i couldn't help thinking, that should be us. me and you."

"you know we haven't spoke in a month, right? we broke up, getting married wouldn't work."

"no, it's the solution! trust me, we can sort this all out. the argument was petty and i'm sorry but trust me on this. please."

the door moved to let him in. "just come in."

"i have more. we make a grape couple. great, get it? the fruit puns are really growing on me—"

you nearly slammed the door in his face.

tartaglia

alcohol, as one wise man must've proclaimed some years ago, was the key to unlocking the soul. otherwise, why would every inebriated individual spill out their guts after a few gulps?

that was tartaglia's argument for drinking so much at least. it was a truly immature act, in front of his co-workers, but he couldn't resist. he hadn't spoken to you in two weeks after he came home bloody and bruised from a street fight. you were usually so understanding, but everyone has limits, and he was sure he'd pushed yours to every limit imaginable before you finally shut him down for good.

though, that left him to reside in a god-awful tavern with workers who did a shitty job. you couldn't expect him to stop his fighting hobby, and he couldn't expect you to put up with waking up at forsaken hours to bandage his wounds before they got infected. upon reflection, however, he should have definitely toned it down when you asked...

ugh, he was done for. his words were flowing quicker than his thoughts, god, he even had four hands. was drinking truly this detrimental to one's health? he'd have to let you know on his forty-second voicemail.

"i could call name? i still have the number from a few months back," one of his co workers discussed with another, who agreed vehemently.

you had been revelling in the new tv show you'd decided to binge when you got the call. you recognised the contact; she was one of your ex's co-workers, yes, but a sweet lady who genuinely strived for the best. you answered swiftly. "hello? what's up?"

"name, save us!" someone screamed down the phone, and your feet stirred from the floor.

"sorry to call you, um... childe's here. he's being childish, ironically. he's just pretty drunk and keeps talking about you, and i'm so sorry to dump him on you—"

you sighed. the tv session was long gone by now. "i'll be there in ten."

thing is, you weren't even annoyed about seeing ajax, or as his co-workers named him, childe. why did he need so many nicknames? anyway, you saw your non-contact as a decisive break for him to get his shit together. though that had clearly backfired; he crawled onto you as soon as you entered.

"oh, am i dreaming...? it's you!" he cheered, drink sloshing at the sides as he toasted for your 'return'. jeez, you were glad you never went on a night out with him.

the two who rang you early waved meekly before scurrying off. seriously, no help to the car? not like you needed any, though; he was begging for you to take him home.

"i don't like this atmosphere when your around. you deserve better." "where were you, anyway?" "i got some good pics. i'll show you at home." "can we bake at home? brownies, wow..."

you'd call him a toddler if you weren't dumb enough to date him. he'd managed himself into the car, but you still had to lean over to push the seatbelt. "ah— name?"

"yes?" you sighed; you couldn't do this for much longer.

"i'm sorry. i won't stop my fight club for you, but i get i was pushing you too far. sorry."

his most heartfelt apology had been when drunk. you didn't know whether to laugh or scream at that. still, you laughed softly, leaving him for a moment to get in the car yourself.

"i'm glad you see where i'm coming from. i know your strong, ajax, but it's never nice to see you hurt and know your doing it intentionally."

"to get stronger," he retorted.

"still?"

he hummed, a lopsided smile on his face. "we're dating again."

ever since your akasha was confiscated by one of the forest rangers, it had felt like your life had changed in the span of a few weeks. you always used to say you were a creature of habit; going to commit to your studies at the akademiya was practically all you did, save for the few adventures you managed to the desert now and then. it always had been worth it to see the faces of those children who had never seen a student from sumeru's forest before.

though, there was a big change once sumeru had been reverted to an akasha-less nation. the act of dreaming. you'd always thought dreams were feelings of hope burning in the chest, not stories illustrated by the mind. after all, you had always yearned to dance on a stage like your friend nilou. she'd possessed an overwhelming talent your feet could never muster, yet for that you couldn't complain, because your dreams led you to him.

wanderer. you could never be sure as to why it happened. it was just a shift in the air; you could swear you'd memorised the faces of all in sumeru, and yet when he walked past, it didn't feel natural. like fate had pulled two different strings for you to meet. or, that's how you percieve it when looking back, anyway.

he had been brash and rude, warning you not to linger around his person for too long. like any invested sumeru scholar, you refused to bow to his will. it had taken years for your mind to be able to dream, yet he immediately appeared in every one. at first, his face refused to reveal itself to you, and you seriously couldn't figure out why. each mirage revealed something new: a vahumana darshan scholar, a hater of sweets, and a very close confidant to the dendro archon.

sometimes, you used to think that he was placed in those dreams intentionally. a complicated trail, yes, but one which led you to one of the most interesting person you knew. maybe a silly notion, but one that you'd mull over in your mind, especially in these situations.

he'd only just come home from the akademiya. maybe you shouldn't have pushed him so far. but was your question really so grave? you'd dated for so long, through each new crisis sumeru faced, and you were always left with one question.

"who really were you?" the words settled bitterly in your mouth. they felt even worse in the air, leaving the stinging aftertaste of metal on your tongue. or no, wait; that was your teeth biting down on your lip.

"why do you always ask this? i'm a vahumana scholar."

you sighed. always the same. the nilotpala lotus between your fingers bended to your weight, yellow pigment smudged onto your fingers. "i know that, silly. i mean... before. like— before then. come on, wanderer, tell me."

maybe you'd pushed him too hard. or he'd had a hard day in the library. whatever the case, it still made him lash out. "i prepared to study at the akademiya. will you stop pushing all these questions?"

"but we're dating. i feel like you could write a book about me, but i barely know anything about you from before we met!" you had stood up at some point between your rant and laboured breathing, approaching him with a newfound confidence. "i swear i won't judge. were you a criminal or something?"

wanderer only scoffed. you'd expected to at least wriggle some ounce of sympathy for his elusiveness, but his footsteps replaced any thought of an apology. your fingers lost their grip on the golden lotus, landing on the floor in a shrivelled pile of bud and petal. in one of the dreams you'd once had, you were surrounded by a crowd of nilotpala flowers. your figure twirled whilst he had watched with a precision you'd yet to see him recreate in real life. deep down, your mind had always debated what percentage of your love for wanderer was dream or reality. maybe you had always been chasing that dream with him; yet, like dancing, there was a very small chance of it becoming true.

in the past, whenever you were upset or distracted, a trip to the desert had always restored the faith in your mind. maybe that was why your carriage had stationed itself in the deep dunes a week later. you hadn't physically told wanderer, but a note passed to sethos was good enough, right?

regardless, you'd found yourself once again sat in the home of an elderly desert dweller, with nine bright-eyed children beaming at your feet. they'd complained of your long time away, the worsening harvest and... the new teacher from natlan. you'd never been to the nation of war yourself, but you hardly imagined them as the aggressive type.

"he's so creepy!" "and he even grins whilst telling us ghost stories..." "he's so tall, too!"

you'd laugh at their concerns if not for the fact they all were nodding in agreement. it was slightly unsettling, considering you hadn't been here since you began dating wanderer, but you shook it off as just kids being kids. they'd get scared of a paper towel—

"talking about me, are we?" a velvety voice crossed your ears, and you couldn't help but let out a slight squeal with the other kids.

the smell of pinewood and incense filled your nostrils before you'd even turned. he had that wise man look which, considering he must've been in his thirties, was slightly abnormal. aside from that, his toothy smile actually seemed all bark no bite.

"no!" "no, mr. vilko!" they'd all scurried off under the excuse of checking on candace by the time he'd sat down. damn kids.

your eyes returned to him. "your name's vilko, did they say?"

the man hummed appreciatively, before looking down at the ring gracing your index finger. "married?"

"what? no!" you sputtered, drawing down your sleeve to cover the piece. you kept the memory well; wanderer had chosen a gold band to glisten in the sun, and a teal stone to replicate the colour that adorned his hat. "it's a promise ring. not like i'll be needing it for much longer."

"oh, no. is it imprudent of me to ask why?"

vilko had looked back at you with an interested look, far more willing to listen than any of the elders would probably be.

"i'll do my best to keep it short." your hand rested on top of the metal on your finger. "before i visited the desert, my partner and i had gotten into another... disagreement, of sorts. thing is, i feel like i've shared all there is to know about me, yet i know nothing about him before he we met."

it felt weird to say aloud, like your admitting there was a fault in the relationship you'd dreamt of for what felt like a lifetime. vilko finally nodded, his finger scratching at the tough stubble under his chin. "that is vexing. have you asked any of his friends?"

what friends does he even have? nahida, yet more of a family figure. you'd heard of albedo and durin whom he met when he parted with you for nod-krai, but was journeying to mondstadt really necessary? would new friends understand his past life more than you?

"i'd say he doesn't get out much."

"ah."

the air was filled with a stifling silence for a short while, save the pensive hums of your new friend. it was nice to share your grievances for once, despite the fact it wouldn't resolve the turmoil you'd face back at home. you shook your head, deciding to take a sip of the tea you'd been offered earlier.

"well, maybe i have a solution."

the liquid nestled somewhere awkward in your throat as you coughed. "what? pfft, vilko, i appreciate the sentiment, but... there isn't really anything to be done, and i can't stay in this cycle forever.

"no, i just— hm. excuse me for this," you were about to protest, but his wrist caught yours, lifting you from the chair like it was second nature. you didn't know what you were expecting, but being dragged to a secluded cottage on the east side of aaru village was not your expectation. if your final moments were destined to be here, there were two people you'd haunt; the kids who left you with him and wanderer, for inspiring this artistic journey to the desert in the first place.

though, you hadn't expected whatever this was. a small, cozy room burrowed under the home. the incense you had smelt on him before was even more pungent here; you'd managed a glimpse of some small vases, each adorned with flowers from natlan. considering it was his hometown, you weren't exactly surprised.

still, your arms raised. "don't kill me. please."

vilko rolled his eyes. "seriously? i take you to a room full of flowers and you think i'm going to hurt you?"

his figure then travelled to the left corner, which allowed you to properly look. despite its homely feel, it actually felt pretty sterile. a small straw bed was placed in the middle, which he then placed a purple pot beside.

"what is that?"

"lie down first. then i talk," he continued to light a small flame under the glass, bursting into a smoke across the room. if he was going to kill you, you were sure he'd do it already. or he was just a madman holding you hostage. regardless, the back of your head met straw quickly.

"this might sound a bit weird, i suppose. i used to live in the masters of the night wind. before i'd left, my mentor had given me this teapot to use. she told me it was to allow people to enter a dream-like state where they could go back into a moment in time. obviously, there's always the chance you won't like what you find, but..."

"is this not better than ending your relationship out of fear of what has already been?"

your gaze drifted to the teapot. the smell of flowers mixed with woody incense flowed through; you could even taste the notes on your lips. maybe this would be the final nail in the coffin; if wanderer discovered what you had done, or if you didn't like what you saw, things would become unmendable. irreparable damage which time would not fix.

still, living in this agonising state of unknowing... it wasn't tolerable. "okay. i'll do the dream thing. thankyou for your offer."

vilko had smiled; though it didn't feel as immature as the previous time you'd seen it. "don't thank me. sweet dreams."

when you properly thought about it, you should've asked more questions. revisiting time with a bowl of glass and incense? how would that even work? could you get back?

"oh my archons—“ you'd jolted with a gasp, expecting a natlanese madman and flowers galore. except... no, he was actually right? you'd felt for your pocket knife just to see the fabric of a kimono. your arm quickly raised; the gold band still remained on your finger, glistening ever so strong.

your feet felt grass and the soft buzz of static. electro. inazuma, then? you could only wonder why as you walked down the dirt path. he'd never mentioned anything about the nation of eternity.

mud from the ground had sullied the edges of your attire at some point, red blisters working their way into your feet. if the time moving tea pot was so smart, surely it could've dropped you off at your destination instead of being so annoying.

though, you had no time to consider that anymore, as the sound of metal bursting against steel rang in your ears. your figure quickly darted behind one of the nearby buildings, before angling to face the swordsmith...

and wanderer, but not wanderer. he didn't possess his teal patterns, or a face which looked like it held the weight of a world. no. if anything, he looked like a naive child experiencing the world for the first time. you could hear the hum of machinery whilst his companion, clearly the more equipped of the two, explained how to refine metals. so wanderer had been a... blacksmith? what was so criminalistic about that?

three hours were spent observing wanderer and his friend. or, rather, you'd learnt people called him kabukimono. he was well appreciated, too. many people visited their shop to buy goods and watch the forging at work. you'd even visited too, technically, even though it was through climbing through a window and hiding in a box.

still, you hadn't expected things to turn so quickly. he had just been sat there at one point; you'd actually wondered why you'd stayed hidden, but some voice in your head begged you to remain. thank archons it did.

"you're not human at all!" you hadn't understood it at first. not till the man had explained, anyway.

a puppet. so your boyfriend, or whoever kabukimono was, wasn't human. it was something you should've realised; he always rested his head on your chest, or let his fingers linger on your wrist, claiming it was to know that you're alive. was it not so he could feel alive, too?

this puppet who ran, ashamed and with hatred in his chest, was not the man who you recognised. not the same person who cooked your breakfast after a long day at the akademiya, or gifted you clothes whilst pretending he didn't know who bought them.

even so, there was an urge to run after him. comfort him. tell him things would work out.

your body had moved to chase him, but the scene of a crying puppet was gone; you were somewhere else. still in the same kimono, but instead stood outside a small house engulfed in flames. wanderer would have probably told you to stay outside and get help. though, if your suspicion was correct, then...

you pushed towards the door, already seeing the puppet stood in the house. your feet moved to the left side of the room; you had been hiding all this time, but could he even see you? probably not.

there lay a body of a young child, strikingly similar to the young man before him. you stared at a forgotten doll on the ground, which also threatened to be engulfed in the flames.

part of you didn't want to see his face. still, your eyes met his saddened ones. in this light, you could faintly see how this puppet was yours. his haircut was the same, shaggily cut like he had no care. if he was never human, he probably wouldn't possess the desire to maintain his outward appearance. or maybe he didn't have to. his lips quivered as his expression darkened, and he turned on his heels.

this time. you'd be sure to catch him. you'd cup his face and tell him he is human, because how could he not be? human isn't about the parts inside, rather the feelings you express. whilst you'd seen far too many variations of his disappointment in this journey, you knew that proved he was just as capable of human emotion as everyone else.

you ran after his figure, about to holler, when your vision blurred. when it corrected, you were yet again in another dreamscape.

how many versions of kabukimono, or wanderer, were there?

your eyes settled on a structure you could only call unholy. a large purple structure had settled itself in... well, this had to be in sumeru. you'd never been involved in fighting before; seeing the traveller pushing blows against your partner made no sense. they were friends: but perhaps time had forged that bond over anything.

truly, you hadn't paid much attention to the combat. your mind was surging with information instead: the balladeer, kunikuzushi, this god-like version of him. in theory, all of these individuals make up the wanderer he is now. it still left you wondering if anyone truly knew about this path he had once crossed. the traveller and nahida were most likely aware; though, you could not imagine anyone else.

the scene before you had ended with 'him' falling from atop the head of his new form, landing into a crash on the floor. you had always imagined his past being full of family tension or a laziness which he regrets. never... this.

silence settled over the old battle ground. you managed to face him with quick speed. once, you had wondered if the past you would find would influence your decision. scorn him, remove him from your life with an icy blade.

but at the end of it all, you didn't see a puppet or someone to be pitied. yes, he had been hurt: but he had also loved, and lost, and transformed into the person he was now.

your mouth opened before your thoughts had time to gather. you hadn't known what name to call him in this dreamscape. he'd been many people, and he wouldn't know the name you called him today. though, you supposed there was one he'd responded to most positively earlier.

you knew it wouldn't work. he wouldn't hear it, because that's the laws of this weird teapot. but still; you couldn't leave before trying.

"kunikuzushi!"

his head raised.

then everything went blurry, or rather normal, considering you woke up to even more incense and vilko staring at you. "agh!" you quickly sat up, looking around the room. flowers. straw bed. your timeline again, at least.

vilko peered at you. "so...? find what you wanted?"

a cold droplet brushed your cheek. had you been crying? whatever the case, you had no time to ponder that now. "vilko, thank you so much, i really have to go— i promise i'll come back when i've sorted everything out!"

your feet had lifted you before he could answer, pacing outside of his small cottage. if you had remained long enough, you would've seen the smirk gracing his face, and the opening of his teapot. he removed the contents, letting the steam release the creases of the nilotpala lotuses stuffed inside.

the journey to sumeru's central city took longer than it should have, or maybe you were just salty that your driver had overcharged you. regardless, you had to find wanderer, though: you had no clue where he'd be at this time of day. the akademiya was an option, and so was the sanctuary of surasthana, but...

"hey, you!"

you turned quickly. "oh, you're—" in your mind, it would've been an emotional reunion, but your expectations quickly plummetted once he grabbed you by the elbow. "ow, ow, ow! what are you doing?"

wanderer scoffed, finally shoving you inside the door of your shared abode and slamming the door behind him. "you're insane if you think i'm going to be all fine with you just taking off for a week and a half without any word apart from some stupid note!" he yelled. "do you have no consideration for anyone else around you? i thought you'd been kidnapped!"

"i did say i was going to the desert in the letter..."

"yeah, but not for this long! and still, why didn't you just tell me in person? is this because of the argument? because i swear to archons sake—“

you'd forgotten all about that. so much has happened since then, in just a short span of time. it's like you've watched five hundred years of growth in the span of seven hours.

with a short smile, you shook your head. "nuh-uh, silly. will you indulge me this once?" you huffed, all your energy going into colliding into him. wanderer grumbled, but still caught your body in his.

"jeez, what were they putting you through down there?"

it was more like what you put yourself through, but it wasn't worth mentioning. for now, being here with him was enough. there may be a day when he learns what you did. he could leave you, or love you, but either result would make your choice worth it. because, at least now, you felt like you understood him a little better.

your hand rested on his shoulder, gold ring blooming from the sun in the window. "you know, i do love you."

he paused. stared down at you like you were some foreign animal.

"i don't expect you to say it back. i just thought you should know." you weren't able to erase his pain, or help him get over that feeling of being inhumane. though, maybe being present was enough.

"i love you too," he rolled his eyes once again, deciding to look over you. "but no more trips to the desert where i find out by note, kay? i'll go with you if needed."

you beamed. "awww, were you worried about me?"