May 24
stop omg I can’t
Laura’s diary is so hard to read but at the same to u can’t stop reading it 💔
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stop omg I can’t
Laura’s diary is so hard to read but at the same to u can’t stop reading it 💔
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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#twinpeaksukfest #loglady #laurasdiary #laurapalmer #blacklodge (at Hornsey Town Hall Arts Centre)
Sadface
I've been sad and anxious all weekend, without discernible reason. I decided not to get out of bed today instead of focusing on mindfulness and self care. On top of anxiety I've either been feeling furious at nothing and/or tearful. I've been lying next to my book for half an hour and I want to read it but I can't be bothered. Also my self image has been shit today; couldn't compliment anything when I was checking. I understand that not every day is going to be a positive day, and I need to do what I can do minimise days like these. I haven't touched the SNRIs my psychiatrist prescribed - he knows I was undecided about whether to start taking them, and he agreed that I might not need them since I had gone 3 symptom-free weeks without meds. I'm scared discontinuation is hitting me now. I don't want to take my new meds because I was so happy to be med-free and I don't want to have to tell my parents I need them. Today has been a giant sigh Positives for next week: • A few days with Aaron, who always makes me feel fabby ❤️ • Lots of running, for endorphins & keeping up project fit bod • buying new bras tomorrow because booby-love • Prob going to ask my parents if they fancy watching a film one night
Things that made me happy:
• I’ve been listening to my posi playlist - it’s awesome
• I had a meeting with my psychiatrist today & he’s happy for me to stay off fluoxetine. I’m medication free for the first time in a year! I have a prescription for something else but he said I don’t have to start it if I feel I don’t need. I think I’ll stay off it 👌
• Today I found out I’ll be spending the next few days relaxing with my handsome man
• Working on my MA application no longer makes me anxious to the point of being unable to do it. Now I just need the mental push to press “send”!
• I’ve been eating super healthily (with treats ofc. My last treat was one of epic proportions: a falafel burger the size of my head, a mountain of chips, and a peanut butter & Oreo shake to top it off)
• Face & body positivity image is improving again ❤️ I’ve got a long way to go until I’ll be satisfied but I’m learning to love what I’ve got along the way
06/07/13
It's been a while since I've wrote an entry.
Been overwhelmed with school, and I'm going away tomorrow..
Guess I need the break, though it is a school trip, kinda think it will be fun. Especially since I have my own room, I don't have to share. *fucking whoop*
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22/06/13
Home alone all weekend, the urge to have a guy over is killing me from the inside out. Though, seriously doubt anyone would be at all interested.
Just going to do homework and get a take out, me thinks. Can't wait for dinner tonight, going out with friends.
Last night went tits up though, had some people over and we went to town to get some food and on the way home a load of drunk boys started socking my friends boyfriend for no reason, we had the police around my house and everything. Still shaken up by it, but at least things were sorted out. I think a nap is in order.
20/06/13
I had mac and cheese today.
All is well.
19/06/13
Today, so far, has been an improvement on the last few days.
Maybe because I had only one lesson and I had lots of alone time, I was able to just read and sit in the sun, which I really enjoyed.
I drew some stuff, too. It's starting to turn into a real kind of therapy, just like my running. I feel like things are looking up for this year, even though it's going to start pissing it down with rain despite the fact we're halfway through June.