#lasvan

"I don't know how you're sleeping through this." Percy mumbled beneath his breath, fingers flexing on the steering wheel as his eyes stayed trained to the road ahead. In broad day light with wind roaring with the windows down and music blasting to keep Percy awake, somehow Leo managed to stay fast asleep. On one hand, Percy was sympathetic because Leo had driven through the entire night, but on the other side, he was terrified that he had to drive alone. He'd grown too used to having Leo's voice in his ear, breath warm and words soothing and that growing ever familiar feeling of being safe. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

Leo was, and possibly always would be, someone that Percy couldn't understand. There he was, attractive and friendly and approachable, wasting his time with a man who didn't even like to leave his own house let alone make friends or try new foods or even visit the dentist that he'd had since he was six years old. Percy saw no reason for Leo to stay, yet he did and that was what made him a mystery.

"It’s not. Its a legitimate fear!" The blonde hissed, planting his feet more firmly into the soft earth. Percy was terrified. This was proven in his wide eyes and his set jaw and trembling hands. There were many things that Leo could convince him to do, but this was where he drew the line. Percy had developed a slightly unnatural fear of large bodies of water as a child after watching Titanic. “You cannot make me do this. It’s not bullshit. I’m scared. I don’t want to do this.”

He was fully aware that he was making a scene before everyone. Percy could feel the judgmental looks or hear the concerned thoughts from sympathisers. He was also fully aware of his boyfriend’s disappointment with him. Percy felt so small, like such a waste even though he barely took up any space and there was no real point for him to be there. It had never been promised that he would swim. Not once had he agreed to getting into the water and when his blue eyes fell upon water that matched in shade and hue, all Percy could think about was getting lost beneath the surface. He’d heard stories of drowning or being pulled under by current or water just turning on people. He knew there wasn’t a current to a lake, but that didn’t stop him from worrying.

Percy hated the insistent way Leo tugged on his arms and the angry yet pleading look in those deep brown eyes that the blonde had come to love and succumb to. “Baby,” Percy begged softly, “please don’t make me do this.” He knew that it must have been hard to deal with someone like him: a person afraid of everything. He needed this though. Percy needed to know that Leo wasn’t just going to force him into doing things that he didn’t want to just because the other male didn’t understand his fears.

His first thought should have been a response, but all Percy could focus on was the rampant beat of his heart and the rising fear that Leo was going to kiss him. It was such a dirty thought. He had no idea where the other’s mouth had been. Had Leo brushed his teeth? Did he chew on objects that had been touched by hands? Did he floss? None of the thoughts were particularly sexy, because face it that Percy was not the least bit sexually inclined, and only added to his anxiety. He did not want to be kissed. At the same time, though, he really wanted to be kissed. Percy wanted to take that crippling fear that kept his body frozen and weak and destroy it. In the time that he’d known Leo, the blonde had found that he liked to be touched and the heated trails that the brunette’s hands left on him were a welcome fire on his skin.

Backed up against a wall and trapped with Leo’s body only centimetres from his, Percy wasn’t sure which thought to go with. He couldn’t get his throat to work. Lumps were forming and his mouth was drying out to make the blonde work just to breathe. This was torture.

"U-uhm, that you’re going to be married very soon?" He laughed nervously, ducking beneath a perfectly tanned arm and trying not to imagine what it would feel like wrapped around his body. "I’m sure some… girl would be very happy about that." Percy knew he was being an idiot. He couldn’t help it. As far as he knew, Leo didn’t like women, wasn’t interested in them, but he would rather feign ignorance than fall prey to the relentless flirting and leave the comfort of the bubble the male had made for himself. Leo was always testing his limits, but this was not one he’d easily push past. It went past fear, it was practically a phobia. The sheer thought of being with someone in any physical sense had him wanting to hide or vomit or cry or scream or run or a combination of the actions.

"Congrats. You know. Good for you. I’m proud. Aren’t you proud? Do you hear that? Wow, I hear someone calling my name. Damn, that sounds like my mum. Can’t keep her waiting, you know? I’ll see you ‘round, yeah? Okay, bye!"