#lastplea

oh, no. oh no oh no. this wasn’t the best idea. this was terrible. he wasn’t ready for this. but there he was -- knocking on the  other’s apartment door after a year and six month transfer to fucking BARCELONA to teach kids elementary english. there’s  a small, neatly wrapped gift in his hands, and jacket smells  vaguely of cheap cologne. they’d put their... whatever they  were on pause and now... now it seemed, it was time to read- dress what they had. it’s just... been so long. 

   "Good morning," He says, entering his coworker's     classroom. His cheeks were still flushed with pink     from the winds outside, but that shouldn't last too     long. He walks up to their desk and places a      Dunkin' Donuts coffee in front of the other. "So     close, yet so far." He says, referring to the time      of day. There were still four periods left. "I think      it might actually snow before we get out of here."

                             "Hello! Hello. Welcome to the shop." 

I've been a damn fool all these years. Thinking that I was better than everyone else. Taking advantage of my closest friends and treating them like shit. I never once thought of how they would've felt towards some of the things that I chose to do. I'm a selfish bastard that only thinks of himself. This was what I was or so I thought. I thought I'd changed. I thought that I was doing what I was doing for the good of the people I care about. They say you'd do anything for the people you really care about and the person you can't take you're mind off. I thought I was helping. But all I really was doing to them was just flat out hurting them...hurting her. My worst nightmares were hurting all of them and losing her. Both have come true. I have lost my closest friend, the one I care for the most. I can never forgive myself for that. It's not just once, but for almost 4 years I've been hurting her. The word sorry doesn't mean a single thing anymore. I just hope you forgive me. I might not be there to hear it. I'm not gonna hurt her or anyone anymore. I can't bear to see that. You deserve better and so I will give you what you want. Space. Space worth 4 years of hurt and years that I could've hurt you even more. It's true I need you in my life, but I'd rather see you happy than being there with me for the sake of me not doing something stupid. I will keep my existence to as minimal as possible. I won't say sorry, because chances are you won't believe me and I don't blame you. But all I ask is that I hope you forgive me at some point. I did not mean this to happen. I hope what I'm gonna do will make you happy to live life. To all my closest friends, I am so very sorry of what I did to all of you. I put all my shit on you guys, that wasn't fair. You guys don't deserve to have more shit added to you're plate. Thank you for everything. Not all of you will see this and I don't mind. But if you do and you know who you are. Forgive me. There's something going on with me that I can't solve yet. But I will. In time. If I do solve this early, I'll try and fit myself back in if you'll let me. Right now. I don't know what's going to happen.