#lastone

Well. By the time I land it’ll be exactly 5 months since I left Hungary…Kinda overwhelmed even just thinking about how much happened during those 5 months. I won’t even attempt to summarize it, this will be a short reflection of what happened since the last time I posted and maybe some emotional rambling so buckle up.

To keep it somewhat short I basically went pretty deep into my inner world in the past however many weeks (approximately 3 weeks I think). Spent 2 weeks in Kelowna, then went to Nelson for this retreat, back to Kelowna for a few days to pack up and flew to St. Paul, Minnesota. Honestly these past weeks were more personal than what I feel comfortable sharing so I’ll probably just leave it at that. What I can say is that I think the first 3 months in New Zealand felt more like being on holidays and shortly after landing in Canada things started getting deep pretty fast and I realized that it’s time to slow down and start looking inwards, I already wrote about that in previous entries I reckon.

If you are reading this and we haven’t talked in a while please don’t take it personally, cause it isn’t. I just really needed, and actually still do, time without any outside distractions like social media, or being in touch with people. Believe it or not I actually haven’t ridden my bike since like mid May or so and it was totally intentional. I am definitely looking forward to getting back on it at some point but I strongly feel that I still want to keep things slow, lots of me time and just in general trying to stay as present as possible to let things unfold and be able to actually hear it and not be distracted by all the extra chatter. I appreciate your understanding and I’ll be back once things clear up a bit. This is a conscious decision, I am not depressed or anything. That’s that.

Anyway, the last week in St. Paul has been absolutely wonderful, I got to spend time with my friend Edward and his partner Caty (and their two cats, Martha and Fox!). They are some lovely folks I’ve met through the integral youth online community last year and we’ve been good friends ever since, I met Edward in Nice this year and finally had the chance to meet Caty too. The main focus of this visit was connection rather than doing tons of touristy things so we spend a fair bit ot time just sitting around and having serious and less serious talks. Not to mention the musical shenanigans! Edward has a home studio with tons of guitars, piano(s!), keyboards, drumkits and God knows what else..It was amazing to finally have the chance to make music again, just for the sake of making music without any pressure. Okay, I did feel some pressure of wanting to actually write a song and stuff. Anyway, it was awesome to play music together! Edward is a brilliant musician! Besides that we went on long walks in the local parks around St. Paul and Minneapolis, there are lots of green areas around (pleasantly surprised by that). I got to spend a full day with Caty and it was super cool, we went to a salt room (never been before), which was super helpful as I kinda got a cold on the way from Kelowna to St. Paul. Ate a bunch of great vegan food, went to a used record store, did a day trip to Lake Superior, blasted some metal music in the car, tried to make food integral and come up with elaborate marketing schemes...It was awesome to meet these folks in their “natural habitat” and see some of the places that they love so much or that are/were really important in their lives. They were amazing hosts, really laid back, never stressing about anything, super welcoming, I really felt at home in their house and not like a guest. I’ll just leave it at that, I’ll keep some of the magic to myself.

Anyway. 5 months. What the fuck. It’s really funny that I was actually skeptical about the whole “travelling changes you” overused cliché, but damn..I hate to admit but it turned out to be true. Not the way I thought it would but I definitely feel like I changed a lot. I wonder if it’s possible to travel (for longer) and be so stuck in your ways to barely or not change at all?! There is a part of me that thinks it is and another part that thinks it isn’t. What you think?..

I am a bit nervous about how people are gonna take it, I feel like it’s difficult for both those who travel and those who stay at home and kind have to catch up with the person who was gone for however long. Not catch up in a sense of listening to all the stories but rather to adjust to the new person who came back and let go of the old one who left. LoL this is starting to sound super travel bloggy haha.

In any case I feel grateful that I had the chance to do this. Man, it was a journey. I remember how I fucking hated the first week in New Zealand, was so scared and stressed out, I was just not having a good time, I kept thinking that if it’s gonna be like this for longer than I’m just gonna turn the fuck around and go straight back home..Then there was this opening after I met Andrea, the possibility to extend my travels after New Zealand, that took a while to take shape. Then the workaway-volunteering for Canada was figured out. The last few weeks in New Zealand were spent with anxious googling about Canada and how the logistics of travelling with a bike in a country where the main mode of transport is exclusively by car…boy that was exciting..and scary..and nerve wrecking..Then I actually landed in Canada and had a really exhausting first day with lots of travelling from Vancouver airport to Vancouver island, coming up with a plan B when my car share driver kinda decided to bail on me. The next day I met Tamara and Cordell (my workaway hosts in Campbell River on Vancouver island) and I feel like that’s when things suddenly got real deep..That connection with them really made things different..Lots of learning, new perspectives and just this feeling of “wooow, you can do it this way?!”…Cliché no.2, but that was meant to be. Or at least that’s how it felt like. While gardening is still not the thing that makes me feel alive, it was really hard to leave that place (Campbell River). Spent a few days around Vancouver, biking, sight seeing and once again some challenging new experiences in Squamish with the second workaway. That was the point where biking, which made me kinda float on the surface, just wasn’t enough anymore to cover up the internal battles that I was having about the workaway spot and it finally all dawned on me that it was time to slow the f down. Reconnected with Tamara, who helped me find this retreat which took place in Nelson a few weeks later..And the rest I already wrote about above. What a journey..

With everything that has happened as Edward was driving me to the airport today (or yesterday?! Not sure which time zone I am actually in right now, sitting on this plane from Minneapolis to Paris) I realized that while I finishing the US leg of this trip I was actually finishing the whole travelling and it feels really heavy…Cliché no.3 this part is ending, but another, new chapter is soon opening. I am definitely still in this liminal space (or rather, will be, once I actually arrive in Hungary) where the old thing has ended but the new thing hasn’t fully taken shape yet…It’s scary as hell for sure and requires a fair amount of faith but I am certain that the next step will present itself when I need it. Not when I want to have it (that would be now) but when I truly need it. Hope those of you worrying about me can also put your trust in that.

Thanks for coming along, hope you enjoyed it or whatever.

Can’t help but finish with one last cliché, a fitting line from the song below (from a one hit wonder band) -

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”

Obligatory song recommendation:

Semisonic - Closing Time

No explanation needed I think.

Ps.: Here are some photos from the last few weeks. Haven’t actually taken too many, tried to keep my phone in my pocket and just be present to whatever is.

You can also work with @kulfiy, if you are looking to start making money online in the new year. This is the best opportunity for you to work from home without any investment and anywhere. . . . .

With a population of over 1.3 billion people, China is a vast country. This number is so huge that China once tightened the police for one family with one child to make it simpler to control its population. However, the police have been violated numerous times by the public; the crucial thing is that the administration is unaware. This social credit system is an idea that has been around since the advent of surveillance and security technology. The design of a large-scale surveillance technology system that contains a large amount of data on each citizen, on the other hand, is unique. In comparison, the United States has a population of around 400 million people. 

The social credit system in China is a programme that comprises several databases around the country and allows the government to monitor and analyse the trustworthiness of individual residents, businesses, and government entities. Each will be assigned a credit score, with prizes for those with good scores and penalties for those with low scores. The majority of these data sources will be derived from traditional sources, such as financial data, crime, royal records, and registration records. Data from other sources, such as online credit systems, are also used.

Other data, such as video surveillance and data deemed necessary, such as data on their work. Last year, they also touted the sophistication of their surveillance technologies. For example, in Beijing, a facial recognition system will be installed in public transportation. Bags larger than A4 size will be searched, making it easier for police officers to identify offenders attempting to flee on public transportation.

If you've ever watched the Netflix dystopian sci-fi series Black Mirror, one of the episodes that became a term was the Nosedive episode. We can see how the community in the story values one another in this episode. A high social score allows you to purchase luxury mansions and obtain bank loans, yet a low score will land you in jail. 

The concept of the alleged social credit system is similar to that of the previously described Black Mirror series. According to media sources, persons with a high social credit score will find it simpler to obtain loans and other benefits such as health insurance, deposit exemptions, and the ability to rent public housing. Another example for persons with a low credit score: they are not permitted to purchase public transportation tickets, including airline tickets that are higher than economy class. When we refer to 'them,' we also include lay authorities. This means that if a layperson is having difficulties at work, his or her use of bills at golf clubs and nightclubs may be restricted. Likewise, while purchasing or customizing a home.

I don't like this system (:

This will be the last post from me to you Bertha, thank you.