#lasagna rambles

I went, "What. no. she/her."

"How does that work? With she/her/hers and they/them?"

I stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Well you came out as-" and I said, "I'm asexual."

She replied, "Like an amoeba, I know."

"Oh. My god. No. Mom. It doesn't- it's not the asexual you learned about in biology. I didn't come out as a single celled organism."

With heavy relief, she said "Oh, it has a different meaning?"

Kink exists because people find taboo or unorthodox situations erotic and/or stimulating to experience in their imagination but would otherwise be disgusted or traumatized if it were to be real. BDSM facilitates a safe way to play out these situations just like a theatrical play.

Pet play is not bestiality. All parties are human adults. Perhaps they are wearing leather or some sort of costume. That does not diminish the fact that they are irrevocably human.

Ageplay is not pedophilia. All parties involved are adults. They may be pretending to be younger than they are but they still are an adult and have the agency of an adult. They may be an adult in a diaper. Still an adult.

Consensual non consent (cnc) is not rape by definition. All parties agree upon the scenario of play and the safe word(s) they will be using beforehand. All parties are willing participants that are consenting and want to engage in the play. Aftercare is especially essential with cnc because dominant partner(s) can feel like they actually are a rapist - when in reality all parties consented and enjoyed the play otherwise they would have safeworded.

Kinksters attend workshops and seminars to ensure that their practices are the safest they can be for the type of play they are engaging in. They openly communicate with their partner(s) in order to make every experience the best for all parties. Of course there is no type of play that is without any sort of risk (it may bring up buried trauma you weren't aware of, one wrong placement of a cane and you might need to visit the ER, etc) but you cannot assume that every kinkster and BDSM practitioner engaging in "fringe" kinks is into those acts in reality outside play. People that abuse the BDSM space by participating in unethical practices are not welcome.

Disgust is not equal to morality. You can be disgusted by things and not personally partake in things without ascribing morality to it.

Murder, rape, pedophilia, and bestiality are unethical and immoral because they hurt people and animals. Murder in real life is a horrific, harrowing act that ripples through the lives of so many. Murder in fiction is just another interesting puzzle for Poirot to solve.

There aren't any crimes happening when adults play make believe. Thought crimes aren't real and you can't tell what beliefs someone subscribes to just because they're into a kink you would never touch with a ten foot pole.