#lainsmail

give up "lara". you're postponing your peace + happiness into the future. (also peace and happinness is within you NOW, not the "3d")

The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of "salvation," of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions... As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out of present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action. Eckhart Tolle

it might be horrible to hear right now, but the future will not save you. all you are doing is waiting and avoiding yourself (this is what keeps you stuck).

if you're feeling stuck, that just means you're feeding yourself the same reality over and over again (the same story, thoughts, feelings, perspectives, etc.) heavenlythea

you said you've read my posts? have you looked at this one? i recommend going back to kellys exercises, it'd be best to get to a neutral feeling first.

"something really traumatic happened with me and even tho its been months I'm still not able to get out of it. At first, I thought okay this is the time to manifest everything altogether"

grasping for control through manifestation just doesn't work.

you haven't dealt with these emotions so they keep coming back. i suggest you read the first chapters of letting go by david hawkins, or if you can't be bothered read this from kelly. i also want you to look through the way of rest by jeff foster. (i really suggest you read this!)

you haven't given yourself any rest period, you went straight into trying to force an outcome. give it up, the body-mind cannot do the work of god that you want. (the body-mind doesn't do anything, it can't. the Self is already perfect and "doing" everything. all you can do is let it. let it be.)

emotions will come up and leave by themselves - if you find them stuck, then investigate why.

e.g. what are you seeking with lara? is there any more emotions underneath the embarrassment and shame? is this a desire of approval, safety or control - can you let it go?

"Kelly recommended some exercises to me to process trauma and all and i did all that but the loop of embarrassment and shame continues."

this shows that you haven't changed how you respond to the emotions.

the more persistant emotions will leave once you understand your relation to them. once you realise that emotions can be there without it meaning anything about you, or meaning that the worst is to come - they leave naturally. if you are not the feelings and thoughts, then you cannot be hurt by them. you can stop avoiding them. you are safe to let them go.

if you approach the embarrasment with the understanding that you are not the body-mind then it becomes small. embarrasment is completely fine to be there, and nothing is forever. you don't need so and so to be complete as you are. you don't have to be embarrassed if all is Self, theres no one to look upon you and judge - except you. forgive yourself and move on.

why torture yourself with judgment and expectations?

if you really know the law or nd, then return to the basics and give up the rest.

if you really must keep manifesting, then i suggest ONLY thisdreamplace. stop consuming multiple blogs and start working by yourself.

i did some cleaning and deleted some emails. i'll link the places that i downloaded the books from!

i recommend downloading it in epub, then converting to pdf (i used this site) - much cleaner and easier to read than photocopied pdfs! (or just use an epub reader)

the way of mastery part 1

the way of rest - jeff foster

power of now - eckhart tolle

i am that - nisargadatta

no attachments, no aversions - lester levenson

the power of love - lester levenson

master of self-realisation - sri siddharameshwar maharaj

keys to the ultimate freedom - lester levenson

silence of the heart - robert adams

the ultimate truth - lester levenson (short vers of keys to the ultimate freedom)

letting go: pathway of surrender - david hawkins

She says, in her Failing with the Law of Assumption document, this: “when Neville said ‘don’t accept it’, he really meant that as delusional as it sounds. If the day went on with you identified as someone you don’t want, don’t believe that was so”. My understanding of this is that she’s telling us, when we understand we are not the character, we don’t have to accept the events of that day being as they were. We can choose to be aware of a different character/world/life that is more to our liking. She says the ‘change’ should be no more than 3 days, even overnight. And even if we wake up and life is still the same, don’t go back to believing in it. Just think of/remember everything as perfect.

But in a different post, she says the following: “I don’t teach to do anything to the 3D, not even deny it. Not seeing the world as it is, is an aversion to it (Lester). Your 3D is right and perfect, what you see is what you are. Fearing it, trying to manipulate it, lying to yourself about it being something different are all vain and useless attempts. See it as it is and it will fix itself.”

I have been reading lots of her posts, I just discovered her work last month and she was very articulate so I’m quite sure this misunderstanding is my own issue.. Maybe it’s a language barrier but I’m struggling to understand the difference between: denying the events of the day/not seeing the world as it is (which seems to be what she advises against and calls an aversion) VS not accepting the events of the day/seeing the world as perfect and how you want it to be (which I think is what she’s advocating for)? By “see it as it is and it will fix itself”, does she mean to acknowledge and accept even the “undesirable” aspects of character/world/life, or are we to see it all as perfect/only as we want it to be?

Sorry if the question is repetitive, and sorry for the bad English! Have a lovely day/night! 💜

"not accepting the events of the day/seeing the world as perfect and how you want it to be (which I think is what she’s advocating for)?"

when she says "See it as it is and it will fix itself." i read it as "See it as the illusion it is (remember Self basically) and it will adjust itself"

"Your 3D is right and perfect, what you see is what you are." = You are expressing Vanessa perfectly in this moment.

"denying the events of the day/not seeing the world as it is (which seems to be what she advises against and calls an aversion)"

this is stuff like lying to yourself, saying you 'know you are the Self, but...' its trying to convince yourself of xyz, trying to get the mind to think this, its a forcing feeling. you know what these things feel like, so you should be able to feel the difference between the two

i remember a nisargadatta quote she shared from an ask about fear:

Q: What do I do when a desire or fear comes to my mind? it doesn't feel right to suppress them... :(

Ada: I am not talking of suppression. Just refuse attention. Nisargadatta has a saying “When you happen to walk in a crowd, you do not fight every man you meet — you just find your way between.” Neville has another “Indifference is the knife that severs, feeling is the tie that binds.” When you refuse to play the game, you are out of it.

its not about denial, its indifference/detachment - which you start to feel when you remember your Self

sorry if something like this has been asked before you can just redirect me there i just havent been able to find anything yet.

you either try for a month and see, or don't. i can't make you do it.

I know it's a false sense of control, fear arises when I ask myself to let go of this anxiety about the future and this specific incident (XYZ) happening to this body-mind. Its been a few months of fighting this fear but it only grows

Often I will try to observe and let the thoughts pass, is everything the mind thinks of so true anyways? I will experience a few minutes of peace before I'm caught up in the tangles of my mind again, before I'm again saying this and that and avoiding this and that to avoid a specific incident from happening to this mind-body.

I wanna calm my mind down and let my ego know that it's okay if I let go, sometimes I will feel like I need some conformation that it's safe to let go. That if I act however I want, let go of the fear and ignore all these "rules" I forced myself to follow that I will still be okay and that this body-mind will not experience what I fear in the future. I feel like the missing piece would be to actually understand the point of letting go of a problem, does this problem actually disappear when I stop giving attention to it? Will the body-mind actually not experience the fear when I as self let go or this fear and break all the rules that "keep me safe"? I know self would be okay but what about the body?

Or does it anyways happen to the body-mind and there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening to this body-mind and I'm just letting go for my own peace?

I'm kinda new to this, I'm still learning and I'm close to finishing most of your masterlist but I'm not sure if I really get the concept of "not giving so much attention to a problem"..does it then cease to exist to the body-mind as well? Or is it just so that it doesn't impact me mentally as much (I'm not belittling this outcome, I'd love to have this outcome anyways) I know its very foolish to only let go of fear out of hope that this is the way to prevent any incident from happening but a part of me asks for an obvious answer telling me that this body-mind will not encounter what I'm fearing if I let go of the fear.

I see this type of question often getting answered with "You're not the body-mind, whatever happens to it isn't happening to you" but what if i don't want the body-mind to experience XYZ, do I have any type of control over that? Will letting go offer safety for the body and will it help this body-mind not experience its fear with the senses?

And generally do you have any advice for me other than to observe the thoughts and let them pass since this has a very temporary effect on me? Is there any other path I can experiment with to let go of my fearful thoughts?

Thanks in advance!!

"If you let go of the fear of XYZ, if you dont keep it in mind, you will not avoid the actions that may lead to XYZ and you'll end up experiencing what you fear".

how does fear help you get through xyz? it only makes it worse. just accept that if the fear happens and xyz happens, you'll just have to do your best and deal with it. deal with it if it comes, focus on now.

the fear does not keep you safe, it just keeps you in fear.

"Its been a few months of fighting this fear but it only grows"

this is why it grows, you fight it. it doesn't have to eradicated. the fear won't take you over and destroy you either.

kelly (4dkelly) has some asks on mind purification, those i really recommend. i also would suggest you looking through 'letting go' by david hawkins.

"Is there any other path I can experiment with to let go of my fearful thoughts?"

meditation, conscious releasing, surrendering... do what ever you want, the main objective is to let the fear pass through you fully, and then choosing what to do once you are neutral. there's lots of releasing meditations on youtube.

"I know self would be okay but what about the body?"

read this post by ada.

this post also.

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

about the difficult circumstances :)

i’ve followed your advice, and just rested. whenever i had moments/situations that brought up stress, i began to exercise this feeling of completion/bliss. ever since then, my health has been stabilizing. i took a break from tumblr/over-consuming, and just asked myself “what am i?” “who am i?”. i would let my thoughts go, attaching no meaning, nor identifying with them. i would observe them- in an almost manner of meditation. i started to feel lighter, as i no longer identified with the body. while doing such “exercises”, i found that i “tapped into the void” within minutes of doing so. it was so peaceful, and i had no urge to affirm- which even though my ego thinks my life is still far from perfect, i could care less.

i feel a sort of indifference to what used to seem problematic. i now understand, that there is no “convincing” myself of something, when i am already it. i’ve been “documenting” what works best for me- just because i might have brain damage lol, but what i’ve found is when i am in full acceptance of both the desirable and undesirable, it happens instantly- or within a day. just now, i noticed my collar bone feeling fleshy or the skin around it inflamed- which was one of the major symptoms i faced when i had cancer. my whole collar bone to face just puffed up like a pufferfish. in that moment, i knew who i TRULY was- I AM. God. i didn’t care if my collar bone wasn’t prominent or not- i just KNEW that it was normal, and prominent. literally not even a minute later, i touched my collar bone while scratching my neck- AND THE SWELLING WAS COMPLETELY GONE, IT WAS JUST BONE.

So, for me- what worked was knowing there was no conviction necessary, i am already everything, the good and the bad. thoughts and day dreams have no effect on me unless i identify with them- or personally give them power. no effort, and just complete ease and bliss. the past, and future do not exist- and only affect the present, when identified. indifference was the “biggest” aha moment for me.

I realized, each time I affirmed/thought of something- then let go, and gave it no more attention, it appeared (instantly). for problems, i just forgot of it. i disregarded it- and then bam. gone. since my last experience with the void, i knew since then that everything was perfect with my relationship regarding the void. i always wake up in it, everything perfect for me- i’m aware, blah blah blah. and that’s how it’s “manifested!”. i don’t even think of it any more. ever since that indifference feeling/knowing came- life has been soooo different.

during times of meditation, or of just observing my thoughts and letting them pass- is when i truly began to understand non-dualism. that’s when the knowing came for me. taking accountability and responsibility, and knowing everything is as temporary as night and day. i still have to “fix” my problems with school and university, but i know that is my ego talking. it is already done because i am it. i’m (my ego) is a bit worried if i will properly fix my problems, but after proving what lester, and all the info i’ve consumed (from blog to blog), i truly understand that there is no problem until i think i have a problem. my problems are as an easy fix as my situation with my collar bone.

i’ve also “fixed” my relationship with my mother, and grandparents. they now truly have realized the abuse that is in my household, and are 100% into supporting me, and protecting me. i was so surprised, because they would usually just ignore it and normalize it. especially my mother. all i’ve wanted was my mom- to actually be a mom. and now she is. even though there were moments where my ego wanted to cuss her out and identify as having a bad mother, i thought of it as nonsense, and now our entire dynamic has changed. i can’t really get into it without trauma dumping- but it’s been my wish since i was a child. she has truly changed and grown. even my therapist was shocked, and happy for me! i’ve been trying to “manifest” a change in her, for about 3 years- and after applying little to no effort, through what i’ve mentioned above- everything has changed.

(also “manifested” appearance changes, health to be completely perfect, my safety, perfect grades (literally all A+ or straight up 100%s loll, my pets health, and many other things. literally we all “manifest” our entire day just by identification)

i believe, or what has been true personally to me, about the reason behind the struggle of changing anything- even after seeing confirmation of one’s true power, is because it wasn’t a “big” enough accomplishment. they/me have put problems and “desires” on a pedestal- thinking it will be a varying degree to alter, than let’s say the weather. but it is all the same. everything holds the same balance. it is just the ego that convinces you that it does not. we literally shape our “today” and “tomorrow” from memory and identification. when i’ve thought/knew what my tomorrow would be- that is how it was.

i just wanted to say thank you to your kind response to my ask, last time. i know that it wasn’t easy- and i’m so sorry if i’ve caused anyone to feel any negative emotions. i also wanted to say thank you to your- and every other bloggers dedication to helping anons, and continuously posting the truth. you, and adasdisciple (idk how to do the @ thing, im so sorry!!!) as well as, 4dkelly something (i hope they may see this! i apologize for not remembering your user😭) have aided in ways not even professionals, or other bloggers have. my life has done a true 180- and i know it’s only going to get better from here on out. i appreciate everyone’s kindness to my first post, it truly warmed my heart to see so many people sympathizing with my ask. not many people have reacted with such genuine sweetness. thank you so much!! i’m fr feeling on top of the world 😋

wow! i'm so proud of you!!! speechless tbh!

I make myself promises to like “manifest my desired life my the end this month” or “to stop making the same mistake” but I end up breaking them. I felt like I over consumed alot and now I don’t know where to begin or what to detach from. I tell myself that I’ll throw my phone aside and start applying but then I get caught up in my problems again and it’s just a cycle on repeat.

I have to say I’m quite ashamed of myself. Not being able to accomplish anything in my life and disappointing those around me despite knowing the law of assumption and now non-duality.

This is probably the most stupidest thing I have ever asked but could you simply non-duality in a a few sentences? I feel like I have come to the point where I can’t even trust myself to stop over consuming and wishing for change. Thank you.

you might benefit from this and this.

i really would like you to read this!

the body-mind, the "I" you think you are, i'll call them sam!

give up trying to manifest. give up trying to change the world with sam's thoughts and feelings, its torture.

here's the main point:

simple mindfulness is what gurus have asked of us. not convincing, denial or forcing. its observing. 

observe the habit of 'you'. you take the "I" to be the body-mind, sam. sam is a habit, and is sustained through attachment and aversions. drop them.

all you need to fix is your wrong identification. let go of sam and all their stories.

if you find yourself forcing, suppressing, or trying to get rid of sam (something that you don't do), then remember this: god is already perfect. the answer is to surrender.

there's no image or role to maintain. you can just be.

here's a more in depth reminder.

there's so many words for Self: Absolute Perfection, Bliss, Infinite Being, Supreme Reality. i want you to remember I AM. I AM is complete and whole, alone. its just beingness. just as it is. before the world and sam, you are conscious. before wanting, you are conscious.

nondualism's goal is letting go of all the concepts that stop you from seeing Self.

the body-mind is a thought. its an idea. you are already detached from sam. but you don't see it bcs you are identified with them right now. you are attached to your character, and we want to release all those attachments.

"the identity is a shadow. it is not us. analyze your mind briefly, and you will find that is nothing but a byproduct of societal conditioning, peer opinions, books, movies, whatever content you've most willingly consumed." - luvcompass

the mind is just a bunch of thoughts, feelings and memories. are you a thought? are you a story? are you a memory? are you a feeling?

sam is. but you are not sam.

sam doesn't want sam and all the stories anymore (likely because you think you are stuck as sam). but sam never was. sam is an idea, a story. they are a thought in the mind. because you are identified as sam, you see sam. without your awareness on sam, sam wouldn't be.

Unless they understand who they really are, that Vanessa (sam) is a habit and nothing more - that nothing has existence outside of awareness, including her, that awareness assigns reality and is the only reality - they're always going to struggle to control something and get frustrated they don't see what they think they're aware of. What you're aware of is what you're being. You can't be aware of being something new while also being Vanessa. [source]

The ego is an activity, its not innate, its FORMED.

"Ego (sam) is not an entity. It is an activity. It is an optional activity of identifying itself with a fragment that Consciousness is free to make or not, from moment to moment." [source]

and by habit of taking the "I" to be sam, it continues.

focus on respond vs react. start catching yourself out when you say 'i am ...', start asking questions to yourself abt who 'i' is. start watching your thoughts. learn how to feel your emotions when they come up, don't run away from them or they will continue to come up until you deal with it. this is a process of allowing.

"I make myself promises to like “manifest my desired life my the end this month” or “to stop making the same mistake” but I end up breaking them."

i want you to accept now. you are sam, so you see sam. stop chasing a future that will never come. there's only ever the present moment.

To be identified to your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions. — Eckhart Tolle

what would happen if you stopped using the past as a reference? what would happen if you stopped projecting past stories into the future? what would happen if you stopped thinking of a tomorrow?

"i felt like I over consumed alot and now I don’t know where to begin or what to detach from."

start with "who am i?". anything you can outgrow? not you. anything you can observe ? not you. in the absense of it, you don't disappear? not you. it changes and you don't disappear? not you.

how do you know you are sam except by your belief that you are sam?

"I have to say I’m quite ashamed of myself. Not being able to accomplish anything in my life and disappointing those around me despite knowing the law of assumption and now non-duality."

read this. also, there are no others. you are seeing yourSelf play out.

let go of the shame, regret and guilt. read the linked post, and watch the source from the first quote, it'll help. i also want you to watch this.

give yourself compassion. give yourself space to grow. sam is a random person just like anybody else, so why chastise them for stuff that just happens?

sam cannot do anything in the first place. (what is sam gonna do to change the infinte? why would the infinite need changing anyway?)

you are putting pressure on sam to change the world, but really Self orchestrates all. sam is just another creation of Self. this entire world is Self's expression. give up intellectualising what sam did, maybe it has nothing to do with you and it just happened?

sam is not a problem or mistake!

sam is already part of infinity and exists whether sam likes it or not. you are unconditionally accepted already as perfection or else you wouldn't be here.

“All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors.” - nisargadatta maharaj