Her memory flashed back to the morning prior, the sunbeams rising around the surrounding buildings as they sat on the balcony. Lae’zel next to her, holding her with a gentleness Sindyrdra never in a million years would have guessed she could possess. Her fingers drew comforting motions along her back as they spoke of their travels, the future. Their future. Lae’zel’s voice became small and quiet, timid, and her words came out almost pleading.

When all this is over, will you stay with me? For good?

Hearing the subtle, silent hope in Lae’zel’s words had jarred her. It had already been well established they had become more than what they had originally agreed to, just a way to let off steam in the midst of the mess they’d been thrust into. They’d grown to trust each other enough to tell one another the details of their pasts, the thing each member of their group kept under heavily guarded lock and key. They’d bonded over the similarities of the life they’d grown up in; Lae’zel in Creche K’liir and Sindyrdra in Menzoberranzan. They’d forgiven one another for their past transgressions, for the things they were forced to do in the unforgiving societies they’d inhabited. Even after all this, the idea of looking to the future, whatever future they might have after dealing with The Absolute, wanted to send her into survival mode. There was a possibility they wouldn’t even have a future. That they be killed, or turned into mindflayers. How could she even consider what comes next? 

Then Sindyrdra looked into Lae’zel’s wide, expectant eyes, and she just melted. Vulnerability didn’t come naturally to Lae’zel, she knew how hard this was for her. Sindyrdra allowed herself a moment to think about what if. What if they defied all odds? What if they could destroy The Absolute? What if their parasites would be gone? 

And she’d realized quickly enough that she could not imagine anything else but being by Lae’zel’s side, wherever it took them. She didn’t care if it meant having Vlaakith loyalists coming for them for the rest of eternity. She didn’t care if it meant fighting alongside her in the astral plane, if she’d even be allowed to do so. 

As her response, Sindyrdra kissed her. Sweetly, deliberately, the type of kiss meant for long-term lovers. Tenderness was something so foreign to the both of them, but they were learning. Together.

“I admit this ‘trance’ of yours is foreign to me, though I believe your eyes are meant to be closed.”

Lae’zel’s voice was groggy, and when Sindyrdra turned to look at her she was attempting to blink away the sleep from her eyes. This stubborn woman wouldn’t just go back to sleep when woken, of course. She probably knew Sindyrdra was still awake while in the clutches of sleep and willed herself awake just to fuss at her. 

“I still have plenty of time,” she responded, waving away Lae’zel’s encroaching concern. “Go back to sleep. You need it.”

“And you do not?”

“I don’t sleep,” she said, grinning while she eyed Lae’zel. “Remember?”

Lae’zel made her little ‘chk’, a mannerism Sindyrdra found utterly adorable. 

“Yes, I remember. I find it unfair that your kind should have this advantage,” she sat up, holding herself up by the palms of her hands, and blew her messied hair out of her face. “And I find it odd that you opt to stare mindlessly at the ceiling rather than do something proactive with your extra freetime.”

There was a time when Sindyrdra may have been offended by Lae’zel’s bluntness, but she now knew that her words didn’t come from malice. She had been forced to spend every waking moment training, or studying, or doing something that her kin would deem as ‘worthwhile’. It was all she knew, to be militant during all hours. In her mind, she did not understand why Sindyrdra would take the extra time her lack of a need to sleep granted her to simply sit and reflect, rather than do anything productive.

“Sometimes it's nice to have time to yourself,” she replied, turning her gaze back up to the ceiling. “To think. I guess I might have thought like you, once. Before I left home.”

She’d been such a different person back then. Anything to please her mother, anything to please her House, anything to please Lloth. And all of it had come back to bite her. If any good came of it, it was that she had the wisdom to guide Lae’zel through the very same plight. 

Lae’zel was wide awake now, clearly not allowing for Sindyrdra to stay up without her. Sindyrdra shook her thoughts out of her head and turned her body so she was facing Lae’zel, taking one of her hands in her own. The gith looked down at their interlaced fingers between them and frowned. A gentle touch was more startling to Lae’zel than a slap to the face. Yet she did not yank her hand away as she once might have. Instead, she allowed Sindyrdra to pull them both to their feet, and began guiding them out of their room in the Elfsong Tavern. 

“Where are we going?” asked Lae’zel, eyeing Sindyrdra suspiciously but giving no resistance to her lead. “This bears a frightening similarity to the night you forced me to wade through the river with you. I will not be pleased if I see us approach any body of water.”

“I did not force you,” Sindyrdra insisted, turning around for only a moment to shoot Lae’zel a look. “You know, most water in the Underdark is too cold to swim in. I wasn’t used to it either and I still had fun.”

“You pushed me in before I was ready.”

Sindyrdra was certain if she turned around again, she would be met with the most adorable Lae’zel pout she’d ever seen, but she resisted. “And if I hadn’t you never would have gone in. Now, hush. It is my turn to show you something.”

Lae’zel acquiesced and fell silent. While she couldn’t see her, Sindyrdra furrowed her brow and worried at her lip. The decision to show this to her was a last-minute one, thought of only when she woke just now. Now, she worried it would upset her. Or worse, anger her. But there was no turning back now, of course. Lae’zel would never allow it. 

The cool night air nipped at their skin when they opened the hatch to the roof of the tavern. Selune was full and bright, and her light lit up the rooftop gardens enough for them to find their way to the stone bench in the middle. Sindyrdra sat Lae’zel down and took a seat next to her. Lae’zel’s expression had grown increasingly concerned, and shoulders were tense when she turned to her. 

“Why have we come here, Sindyrdra?” she looked around. “If there is something we must speak about, surely–”

“There is nothing we need to talk about, Lae’zel,” she assured her, placing a hand on her arm, then pointing to the sky. “Look up.”

Lae’zel looked up. For a moment her face was blank, searching for whatever it was her lover was trying to show her. Then, her mouth opened slightly, and her eyes widened. “The Tears…” she breathed, reaching to the sky as if she could touch them. “K’liir… They are so bright.”

Sindyrdra swallowed, still nervous the gith would only grow bitter at the sight of her home. “It happens when the moon is full. Gale pointed it out to me, one of the first nights we camped together. I thought you might like to see.”

When Lae’zel didn’t immediately answer, her stomach twisted in regret. This was stupid. She deserved whatever scolding she was going to get for this. 

But Lae’zel’s expression did not turn sour. Instead, it illuminated; shining brighter than The Tears themselves. She took the hand laying on her shoulder and brought it to her lips, then looked up from it with a smile. 

“Your thoughts were correct,” she said, looking at Sindyrdra as if all the stars in the Realms could compete with her beauty. But they could not, because to Lae’zel, Sindyrdra would win against each one. “This is just another wonder of this world you have shown to me. One I will cherish greatly; for I will think of you each time I see it. It is magnificent.”

Sometimes when she looked at her, Sindyrdra couldn’t believe Lae’zel was real, and tonight was no different. The woman beside her was the most incredible woman she’d ever known; more fearsome than any drider, more depth to her than any abyss. She was truly something to behold. Sindyrdra kissed her, and when they detached, she placed her forehead against hers for just a blissful moment, before pulling back again. “Yesterday, when you brought me to the sunrise I… I was quiet. I couldn’t use my words. I fear for the future and I fear losing you, which makes it hard to say, but you deserve to hear it out loud,” She licked her lips timidly. “I will stay with you, Lae’zel. After we defeat the Absolute, and for eternity. No matter what you choose when you are faced with the choice we both know you will have, I will be by your side. Whether physically, or if it must be some other way. I will be here for you to come to, always.”

It is a terrifying thing, to show all of your heart and soul to another, especially when it goes against everything you were ever taught. The two of them seemed to be doing it often as of late, however. And each time, it got a little easier.

Lae’zel’s big, emotive eyes were looking at her with what could only be described as awe. And this time, she was the one left speechless. So Sindyrdra kissed her once again, because they’d said more than enough the past two nights. After the brain was defeated there would be more time for flowery confessions of love, without ever truly saying the word love.

sindyrdra very nearly Fell off of the nautiloid when lae’zel first backflipped in front of her. like backed up away from her and was about two steps away from falling over the side and game overing. she forgot that she can cast magic and just went into flight mode instead of fight mode. was this because of how hot she found lae’zel? maybe.

even when she had no reason to be, she was extremely protective of lae’zel from the start. this is part of why her and shadowheart didn’t get along at first. (she also didn’t like her because she figured if shadowheart had these prejudices against gith, it was entirely likely she held similar ones against drow as well. sindra just wasn’t as combative as lae’zel so shadowheart never voiced them.) she failed to persuade the tieflings who had captured lae’zel to run, so she instead persuaded them to cut her down and helped her kill them. she let lae’zel do her thing with zorru, (and also found it very attractive.). i think a part of her kind of imprinted on lae’zel because both of them are somewhere new and unfamiliar to them, it was just nice to have someone who understood that and also didn’t look at her like she was a boogeyman.

lae’zel propositioned sindyrdra for the first time after they meet voss and the other gith at the bridge. sindyrdra may not have the brute strength and battle skill that lae’zel has, but she is very smart and immediately knows telling voss about their tadpoles is a bad idea (among other things) and i think lae’zel would find her wisdom/intelligence (never really know the difference) like that very sexy

after they’ve slept together a few times, lae’zel starts to subtlety get protective of sindyrdra during battle. always trying to be close enough to her where she can defend her if an enemy gets too close, going after mages who are directing their spells towards her, etc. during one battle in the underdark, sindyrdra gets a little too close to some hook horrors and lae’zel can’t hold herself back from yelling to sindyrdra to move out of the way. sindyrdra then proceeds to lightning bolt the fuck out of them, doing a ton of damage and incinerating all but one. that leaves lae’zel in literal awe and they have hot underdark sex after < 3

that’s also when sindyrdra manages to convince lae’zel to cuddle with her for the first time. she’s extremely uncomfortable at first, but melts into sindyrdra’s arms after just a minute or so

there’s a banter between lae’zel and karlach in the underdark that is very flirty. i got it with sindyrdra and i can imagine it made her very jealous. that night she pulls lae’zel aside in full view of karlach in order to have some more hot underdark sex. i think lae’zel would LOVE this side of sindyrdra lol and try to provoke it out of her every once in a while by flirting with karlach

i think sindyrdra noticed that lae'zel was indoctrinated in a society much like hers very early on. and when they find the tir'su script in the arcane tower that thought is solidified. she has a lot of things she wants to say to lae'zel about this, but can't beause she is still trying to free herself from menzoberranzan's influence, and won't because even this early on she doesn't want to lose lae'zel