#ladybutterscotch

I feel like I’m a driving a car down an empty road. No one’s there. No one that I notice and no one that notices me. My car is not too fancy but it is in well  enough shape to be comfortable. I’ve never really known how to drive the car though. It’s a stick shift and I barely know how to drive a manual. I’ve been able to manage this long on the stick but I feel myself panicking. I know that I will soon crash if I don’t get a hold of myself. But I think that maybe it’s not about getting a hold of myself but learning how to drive. How long will I manage? How long will I have to struggle? I’m aware of my problems but what’s the use if I can’t solve them. Wouldn’t it be best if I pull over and get help? I think I need many things though. I think that I need people in the car with me. Not others to drive. This is my car and I need to choose where to go. But sometimes I need directions and others will help me on that. I also, think I might need to change cars all together and choose a new path. A path where I don’t feel so lonely but I’m also not too crowded. I need to change my exploration.

Sincerely,