#ladybugwords

She’s already gone through a roller coaster of emotions...

Thinking the worst...

Wanting the best, but knowing it’s not...

You watch the twinkle of warmth receded from her soft eyes...

You watch the lonesome tear travel down her rosy checks...

You watch her sit...

You see the dark tendrils of doubt creep into her mind...

Creating a horrible ending....

You see her spine straighten... the anger and strength light her eyes...

She won’t let it get to her... she’s been too strong for too long to allow the denial...

Bing...

One unread message...

9 days and counting...

Winter break 😂

It’s been another year... full of tears, smiles and laughes...

I once read a quote that said something along the lines of: the human race will die of running out of time... because we are the only living thing that measures time....

Im happy to say, most of my heartaches have slowly been put together... it’s not perfect nor has or healed but it improvement...

Im sad to say I wish certain people were here with me in this time, but I can’t keep wishing for something if no one else wants it...

Im happy to say I’m slowly learning to stop counting time... it a useful and useless quality to have at the same time... always counting time, expectations on time length... it will come when it’s needed...

A little over a quarter of a century old... My advice to all those who would like to know is:

Stop counting time, enjoy it passing away without you worrying about it... don’t dwell on how long your path is going, and how fast others went... stop counting time.. and start counting the blessing along the way... start counting the changes you’ve made...

3 weeks into teacher mode...

1st day down of school....

Sometimes I feel like I’m so close to reaching my goal... but it just brushes my fingertips... leaving desperation and failure on my tracks...

I tend to forget that desperation isn’t the person I see... it’s the feeling that accompanies incentive, it’s the fault to the strong point...

There is always a negative to the positive that can either tip the balance or keep it steady...

I need to remind myself, the negative comes with the positive... that the negative is not the only side to the coin... that I choose which side I want... which side I get... and which side I’m fighting for...

Failure isn’t a real thing... quitting is the real failure

🐞

I believe all my writing are self-reflections... anyways...

Ive been evaluating my actions and words recently...

I’m not this girl... I wonder why? Have I been alone for so long I couldn’t handle the attention? Who knows... but I do know this...

Yes I am shy... and I have no experience sexually... but that doesn’t mean you get to step on me...

I am proud and independent and I don’t need anyone if I don’t want to...

So re-evaluate... re-read... IF I WANT TO... IF I... I... keyword... I

If I want you.. then you should feel worthy... if you don’t want me.. that’s okay... not everyone clicks... and sometimes the real you comes forth... but

That’s okay... it means another lesson learned...

I don’t know why I’ve been acting the way I have... maybe I’m being to hard on myself? Maybe I’m being to needy? Who knows? Everyone had a different perspective right? And everyone is entitled to theirs...

I don’t know what it is but something has to stop covering my eyes...

look closely little girl... what is it you want... what is it you aren’t liking... change it... only you can...

(7.4.18)