#ladybent

      @ladybent    asked    :    “ it’s okay , i’m here . i’ll always be here . ”

      AH    –    THE    SWEET    RUSH    OF    MELTED    TOXICITY    CLAWING    THROUGH    EACH    VEIN    ;    it feels like heaven    ,    like nothing could go wrong if he’s like this    ;    stuck on a couch    ,    nearly choking on his own breath.    it’s nice    –   to feel numb.    to feel like nothing could possibly hurt you    ,    fear melting away & leaving a broken man.    perhaps he’s been wishing for this    –    to overdose on the poison that he’s been pushing into his own body.    he has no one to blame but himself.    if he’s asleep    ,    he’ll never be scared again.

      her voice    :    it breaks through the silence    ,    like an angel pulling him from the light.    lips part to speak    ,    yet nothing slips out.    even his own spit feels dry.    fingers reach out to her    –    attempting & failing to intertwine with hers.    grin lifting to chapped lips.

      @ladybent    asked    :    i don’t want you to be alone.

      THERE’S    NO    CLEAR    ANSWER    TO    THE    BOLD    STATEMENT.    words are a kindness that the woman is not all that familiar with    ;    quite the contrary    ,    being alone is what she’s become accustomed to.    family is of no use to her in that department.    perhaps that’s why moved out    ,    started college    ,    writing    ,    playing more music &    –    getting a roommate.    a lovely    ,    caring woman.

      digits toy with the strings on her violin    ,    hum quietly slipping from her lips.    she can handle it    –    being alone.    a chord is struck.    something to break the quiet that’s lingered for far longer than she finds comfortable.

      ❛    i’ll be okay nell    ,    trust me.    you go on your    –    date or whatever    ?    ❜    despite years of experience dealing with her siblings    ,    there’s a lack of social skills.    perhaps the medications    ;    or    ,    more likely    ,    her father not allowing any real social interaction with the rest of the world.

      @ladybent    asked    :    did you have another nightmare?

      LYRICS    FILL    THE    DARKNESS    LIKE    A    TON    OF    BRICKS    ;    breath sucks into her lungs & she can feel her body stiffen.    it’s difficult to steady herself    ,    fingers digging into the fabric of the sheets.    hues focus on the ceiling    ,    vision clearing after a moment.    chest moves slowly    ,    the anxiety slipping away as the buzzing in her ears dissipates.    the nightmare ends    –

      attention finally shifts to her side    ,    dark orbs landing on nell.    whatever would she do without her    ?    digits relax.    a gentle nod to indicate she’s heard the question.    it’s the silence that scares her    ;    the deep emptiness.    it’s always the same dream    –    she’s locked up    ;    she can’t hear anything    ,    can’t see anything.    most would fear the lack of sight    ,    not vanya    –   something about the silence penetrates deeper than she could ever describe.

      a gentle smile lifts to the woman’s features    ,    dulled to the recent event.    hand takes hold of nell’s own    ,    a silent grateful squeeze before she’s sitting herself up.