#lacrise

You’re not cut out for big parties, and that’s a fact. You don’t drink much, if ever. You don’t smoke and don’t go out to bars and nightclubs every weekend. You have always found that you have more fun in small groups at restaurants, house parties or simply alone at home.

You’ve never been very fond of Mick’s friends and them of you. You tolerate them from time to time, and it’s the best, but lately, Mick has changed and not for the better.

You tried to talk to him, but he kept shutting you down every time. So you decided to stay out of it. Anyway, he never formalized your relationship. You never know which feet danced, and indeed you’re fed up.

You had a big fight on New Year’s. He begged you to come with him and his friends to Australia for the holidays, and you finally agreed, but as soon as you arrived. He left you alone in your hotel room. He leaves early, and he comes home late. And when he decides to go home, he’s too tired to do anything.

You asked him to spend the New Year just the two of us one night, and he agreed. At 8:45 pm, the 31st, alone in the hotel room waiting for him to come home from his day, again spent with his friends instead of you. You got tired of it. He’s really fucking with you. You’ve been ready for an hour, and he still hasn’t arrived. You’re trying to call him, but he’s obviously not answering.

It’s only around 10:30 that you see the publication of one of your friends, that they’re all on a yacht smoking shisha and celebrating New Year’s without you.

You know very well whose idea this is, and it’s Jack’s.

It was too much. You pack your belongings in your suitcase and sleep at your sister’s, who lives a few minutes from the hotel where you are staying. After all, she’s not surprised to see you show up with your suitcase after the four days you spent alone talking.

You have a good time with them until the new year.

After that, you took the first plane back to London. You didn’t tell Mick, even though he kept texting you after discovering the empty room. Several of his friends also tried to contact you, but what hypocrites those.

It’s three o'clock in the morning, January 3rd when you hear the drumming at your door.

"What are you doing here?"

"I brought all my stuff. I’m tired of not sleeping with you all day, of not being the first person you see when you wake up, and if you think I’m messing with you. Then I’ll settle down.”

"Where do you stay?" You definitely need clarification. 

“Yours.”

"Well, Mick, it’s three in the morning.”

"That’s all right, go back to bed quickly. I’ll go in and join you."

"What are you doing?"

"I’ve been an egoist. I loved my freedom too much, so I wanted to get away from you by spending more time with my friends. But I only wanted to have you close to me when I was on that boat. To be able to kiss you and hug you. I’m sorry I missed our appointment. I screwed up. I didn’t see the time, and then we got on the boat, and it was already too late.” He opens by taking your hands. 

“Heu...”

"I never offered to be my girlfriend or live with you. But now I’ve been thinking. I realized that I love you and want to build something together. You and me.”

“You and me?” You repeat in kind of shock.

“Yes!” 

"But I don’t want you to come and stay with me." 

“What do you mean you don’t want to?” Asks Mick confused.

“Well, no, I don’t want to. Not after what you did to me, and I don’t have much space first. I don’t want to, you know? Not at all." You finish looking at him in the eyes. 

"What don’t you want?"

“I don’t know about anything. You’re always hungry when I go on a diet. You shave for hours and never clean the sink. I don’t have room for a giant washing machine. I think your friend Jack is shit, and I don’t want him coming to my house and watching football and eating all my peanuts. I don’t know, lots of stuff.”

“You don’t like my friends?"

"Well, Jack, I don’t like him, no.” You admit. 

"Well, if you loved me, you’d love my friends too."

"Well, I love you, but Jack is still sticking in my throat. Plus, I just built a library, and I finally managed to put all my stuff away, so if it’s more than...”

"What you can be of egotism!"

"No, but say which! Where do you think you are?" You take offence when you hear him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you come to my house at three in the morning to annoy me."

"Oh, well? I’m coming to ask you to be my girlfriend, and you call that annoying?"

"Look, Mick, I don’t want to live with anyone, you understand? Neither you nor anyone. I don’t want to. I want to live alone, alone, alone! You understand?" I want to be able to fart in my bed, go home at any time, eat in a corner if I want to, and invite friends, clean only once a year if I want to. I want to spend my rubbish my way.

"But all this you can do very well. I don’t see what the problem is."

"The problem is, I don’t want a guy lying on my couch yawning and saying “what’s to eat tonight?" I don’t want to be told, "Hey, you’re doing so good ironing." I don’t want to buy the new Mercedes, which is fabulous, and we’ll pay for the drafts together. I don’t want your mom calling me to see if I gave you your flu pills. I don’t want your dirty socks in my laundry basket. I don’t want to clean the kitchen for three hours the day you decide to make paella for your colleagues. I don’t want to ask if you agree to watch a movie instead of a sport. I don’t want to! I don’t want to! Your life is your life. My life is my life.” You exclaim, tired of his nonsense.

"Well, if I understand correctly, you want to be able to have sex with whoever you want, right?"

"You tire me!"

"Do you have someone else?" 

“Look, Mick, I love you, I love you very much, but being like that, suits me very well. We see each other sometimes, and everyone stays home, which is much better.”

"I’m sure you have someone else." He keeps assuming. 

"I have no one else." You sight before closing the door on him.