#l written

When the bells rang, you ran out of the class without a single glance. You ran your frustrations out of your system and settled on the swings in a neighborhood park. You were going to suffer the consequences of your running when you wake up with terrible leg cramps but you couldn’t be bothered. Heck, the pain could even distract you from your results.

Swinging around, you stayed there till it was almost night. Watching the kids leave one by one. When they were gone, you felt yourself tear up. What were you gonna do when you get back? Your parents wouldn’t be very disappointed but you didn’t like failing. They knew you were the average student and didn’t expect you to get flying colours. But the thought of not being able to make them a little more proud for once was eating you up.

That’s when you felt something cool touch your cheek. “Don’t cry, please.” Looking up you see a blur figure in front of you. You wiped your tears off to get a clearer look. It was your classmate Joshua. “What are you doing here, Joshua?”, you sniffled. He took a sit on the empty swing next to you, “I’ve been looking for you,” he replied. You looked at him quizzically. “The History teacher told me you were having troubles with his class, I offered to help but before I could tell you, you ran out,” he chuckled softly. “Oh,” was the only thing you could say. You barely talked to him but he was one of the nicer people in class. “Do you still want my help? I won’t force you to take up my offer if you don’t want to,” Joshua brought up. “Yes, please,” you desperately agreed. Anything to bring up your grades.

And that’s how Joshua became your History crash course tutor for the next two weeks. He walked you back home since it was late and you both exchanged numbers. You both met up everyday after classes for him to teach you. It could either be your place or his place, depending on your schedules.

During the course of two weeks, Joshua would run through a new chapter with you each day and prepare flashcards for you. The next morning before classes started, he would run through the previous chapter just to jog your memory. He made remembering facts easy with all the anecdotes he used. A side of him you never knew existed.

The resit was a breeze, for the first time in your life, you actually felt confident with it. Stepping out of the examination hall, you see Joshua leaning against the wall preoccupied with his phone. Walking fast towards him, you intentionally stood right in front him.He sees your shoes and looks up with a smile. “How was it?”, he asked. “For once? A breeze!” you proudly said. Joshua was caught off guard when you gave him a tight hug. “OH- sorry,” you hastily apologised. He shook his head, he didn’t mind at all. He probably liked it more than he thought. “Come on, let’s go Joshua,” you started dragging his arm. “To where?” he questioned as you continue to bring him out of school. “To eat. I need to repay my tutor somehow right?” you brimmed.

“You take it.” “NO, you take it.” “You should take it, I insist.” You both kept pushing the last piece of fried chicken to each other like an air hockey game. Both of you on the verge of a food coma from devouring almost two plates of fried chicken but also hating to let it go to waste. “FINE, I’ll take it back home and have it for breakfast tomorrow,” you exclaimed with your hands up in surrender. Joshua internally cheering, gave you a thumbs up.

He walked you back home, for what you thought was the last time. So you purposely took the longest route back, making a detour to the park where you both engaged the first time, going to convenience stores and buying things you don’t need til you realise dusk has arrived. “I should get you back home,” that’s when he took your hand this time and brought you back.

“Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting. I was caught up with some work,” the mysterious figure said. This was not your date. Pulling you in for a hug, he whispered “Whoever that left a person like you standing here for so long isn’t worth your time. So just play along and maybe the waiters won’t call the cops on you.” Pulling back, he gave you a cheeky smile.

That’s how you found yourself being acquainted with Soonyoung. For a stranger, he was incredibly chatty and mundane conversations was unheard of when it came to him. “So, what were you doing outside in the sweltering heat all dolled up?” You told him about the failed blind date and how you when through all the trouble to look like a decent acceptable human being in society. “Wow, that guy is an asshole and he definitely doesn’t deserve you in your best” he said as he sipped his ice coffee. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re beautiful,” his sincerity was evident when his eye smiles appeared. He must be kidding, half your makeup was gone and sweat soaked through your shirt. You thank God that you wore black so the unsightly sweat stains were not obvious.

Zipping up your hoodie all way, you shoved your phone and wallet into the deep pockets. It was cold and wet. You wanted nothing more than to go back to your bed and succumb into the sheets, not buy bloody pads for your mum at this ungodly hour.

Snuggling yourself comfortably into your blanket, your laptop was propped onto your lap. It was buffering the final episode of the drama you were watching, A Love So Beautiful. Your binge watching of the drama was finally hitting its conclusion when you heard the opening theme play. That's when the furious knocks on your door started. Groaning, you pushed the laptop to your bed and dragged yourself and the blanket to the door. As soon as your unlocked the door, you were welcomed by the shoving of money into your chest. A loud oomph came out from your lips as you look up to see who was in front of you.

Your mum

"I know you weren't asleep, so would you be an angel and run to the convenience store to get some things for me?", she gave the biggest mocking smile ever. In return, you gave her a big frown.

"Mum, it's close to midnight!", you whined. Clutching onto the blanket tightly. "You can keep the change", she casually said while pretending to have cramps. "What do you need, Mum", you quickly chucked the blanket away but rolled your eyes anyways.

You were weak when it comes to money. Not that you were the money-minded kind but you never really liked asking money from your parents. Opportunities when they willingly gave you money without you asking was rare, no matter how little.

Regret. The only word that was being played in your head like a broken record as you made your way to the convenience store. Was leaving your bed really worth the change? Your calves downwards have been soaked from the puddles and it was getting very unpleasant as your feet started to feel sticky.

As you trudged towards the entrance of the store, your feet were freezing when exposed to the sudden air conditioned environment causing a heavy groan to escape.

All your mum needed was pads and that was it. The faster you got the pads, the faster you can go back to see Hu Yitian.

Without stopping by any of the other aisles, you went towards the female hygiene area. Your mum was particular on the kind of pads she wanted so you quickly skimmed through the assortment of pads of various colours and sizes. That's when the pads she wanted caught your peripheral vision. You tried to swipe it as fast possible, only to find yourself tugging for it with a stranger. Looking up to see the owner of the other hand, both your eyes met.

Damn

The hand belonged to a guy very pleasant to the eyes if you thought to yourself. Basically the whole works. Tall, tan and very proportioned. One second he had a very intense glare, the next, it soften to the brink of innocence.

"Erm, excuse me. If you wouldn't mind could you let go of these?" you pulled him a tight smile and gave an even tighter grip onto the pads.

"No can do", he flashed a smile, showing his pearly whites. The glint of mischief sparked in his eyes.

He was cute for a moment, until he became relentlessly stubborn.

All you could reply with was a scoff. "What would you of all people even need this for?!", eyeing at his crotch and then staring at him. His eyes widened.

"I've never seen a more crude girl in my whole life. If you must know, it isn't for me but for my sister", he started to tug onto the pads even harder.

You refused to give it up. You didn't stop your drama, left the comforts of your bed for this.

"What day is she on her period?" "What?", he was confuse. "I said, what day is she on her period now", you cocked an eyebrow. "A-almost her last?", he stammered. "Then why would she need heavy day pads for", you said. He couldn't even think of a reply and sighed. Loosening his grip on it and giving it up to you. He lets you have it. When you turned away, he slipped his number in your grocery basket.

As soon as your paid for the pads, you scurried back as fast as possible. Unfortunately the rain has not settled one bit, causing you to slip a bit and falling onto the entrance tiles. You felt someone trying to hoist you up. It was him.

"Are you okay?", he asked. His brows furrowed in worry.

"Asides from my dignity being wounded, I'm good", you tried to laugh it off. The impact of landing on your knees when you fell still stung a bit. He sees you wincing as you tried to stand back up.

"My car is nearby, do you need a lift home?", he offered.

You were skeptical, very skeptical. He was a total stranger but with seemingly good intentions (if you remove the fact you both were fighting for the pads earlier).

"Let's see, me taking up an offer from a guy whom I just fight over pads earlier and also having no clue of his name hmmm", holding onto your chin while pretending to be deep in thought.

"Jun. It's Wen Junhui. I mean no harm", he placed his hand on his heart and the other hand raised up as if he was about to take an oath as he closed his eyes.

"Okay okay Jun. I'll take up your kind offer only because it's raining and I hate to get my feet wet again", you said. He replied with his pearly whites again.

The journey home was slightly awkward. You both coincidentally lived in the same street. With the occasional introductory conversations, there was really nothing else to it. Upon arrival, Jun quickly exited his car to open the door for you and opened the umbrella for you to take shelter in. You were a bit surprised at the gestured.

"Thank you", you mumbled.

He walked you to your doorstep, making sure you didn’t slip the second time around.

"Well here it is. Thanks, Jun", you extended your free hand to give him a hand shake. He reciprocated the hand shake but didn't let go.

"You can let-"

That's when your mum swung the door open, causing you to jump. She analyzes both of you, holding hands as clear as day.

"I asked for pads, not a son-in-law", your mum teased. You pulled back your hand in embarrassment and Jun just rubbed the back of his neck. Both of you were visible flustered at your mum's words. She went back into the house whilst humming. When she finally was out of sight.

"I am so sorry for her", you apologized profusely.

"It's fine! If anything she just made it easier for me. Would you want to meet again?" Jun asked.

"Ohh. I mean we just met-" "SHE SAYS YES AND YOU CAN PICK HER UP TOMORROW", your mum's muffled scream from a distance.

Oh God

Jun just laughs as you covered your face. "See you then!" he beamed.

What an eventful night. You replay the events in your head, unable to concentrate on the drama being played.

Focus, it's Hu Yitian for God's sake.

That’s when your thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the door and your mum came in.

"This must be yours", she passes a piece of paper to you. You gave her bewildered expression as your fingers unfold the paper.

His number

At the corner of your eyes, you can see your mum smiling. "I actually didn't need the pads urgently, I wanted you to get out of the house instead of being cooped up in your room", she said nonchalantly as she exits your room.

Opening the box, dust dispersed at every direction causing you to sneeze and drop the box by accident. The contents of it spilled out on the floor. Crouching down, you picked up the items one by one. Each item brought you back to the time when you were still in middle school and still living with your parents. The last item you picked up was a silver necklace with a tiny charm that has been way too tarnished except for the onyx stone in the middle.

What time was it? How long have you been moving things around your house now? Did it matter when the cool wooden floor graciously welcomed your heated body. Silence filled your house as your parents left to run some errands, leaving you to pack up the miscellaneous items in your soon to be former home.

The silence was immediately cut by a loud knock on the door. Peeling yourself off the floor, you proceeded to open the door.

“Hello!” you were greeted by a small bag shoved centimetres away from your face. You were slightly taken aback and stepped away from the doorstep. Behind the bag, your neighbour was giving a toothy grin.

“Jun?” you questioned why he was here as he stepped into your house. “Woah….what happened to your house?” he wandered within the spaces. He skims through the empty spaces preoccupied by the mountains of boxes and tapes. “I’m moving, Jun.”

He halt on his tracks, slowly turning towards you. “What…..?” You nodded to affirm your statement. He flopped to the ground, sitting against the wall. Patting the empty space next to him indicating your designated seat. Taking your place next to him, your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your ribcage.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” he said. With your eyes shut, you hear the sound of paper crumpling and felt something cold and dainty land on your palms. Peeling your eyes open, you bring up the gift closer to observe it. A small charm hanging onto the silver chain was shiny, a contrast to the onyx gem adorning the charm. You were amazed at it and felt your heart welled up at the thoughtful gift. “Thank you, Jun. What’s this for?” you looked up at him. He takes the chain off your hand and you turned your back to him. Lifting your hair up, to give him a better access to your neck, you could feel his fingers brush over the side of your neck causing a shiver down your spine.

“It brings out your eyes,” he murmured. “You said something, Jun?” you questioned. He shook his head, “I hope you like it.” That was the last time you saw his toothy grin.

Your reminiscing made your heart soft, feeling rather nostalgic at the gift at your hand. It’s been years since then. The chain had broken off from constant wear.

“I’m s-sorry but please take it,” pulling away from you briefly, he rummaged through his inner pocket of his torn jacket to unveil a vial. Your eyes widened with recognition, “Jeonghan, no. Why do you have the antidote? Why didn’t you use it earlier,” you exasperated. Your grip was tightening on Jeonghan as tears threatened to fall. He was infected but so were you.

The effects hasn’t kicked in for you but for him, it was taking over his whole immunity. This unidentifiable disease could only be contracted by blood. Unfortunately for you, Jeonghan used his body to protect you from the infected but it left a deep scratch to his back. The symptoms were like any other disease except instead of coming in phases, it came all in one go. Even then, you were still infected from the cuts you’ve received trying to fight off the infected.

“I knew I wasn’t going to last with the blow I took, so please, take mine. I knew you gave yours to the little kid you saw earlier” he pushed it to your chest with his bloodied hands. His breathing was slow and faint. The weight of his body became evident as he dropped his head over your body. The energy he had left was used up to fight to infection as much as he could. “Please, Jeonghan. You can’t just leave me like this,” you pleaded desperately. He held you for the last time knowing he’ll miss your warmth when he was gone. “I lo-”

“CUT, that’s a wrap,” the director ordered. “Good job both of you.” You breathed out in relief, you couldn’t handle another retake at this wee hour of the day. Jeonghan stood up first and helped you up. You both cleaned the dust off each other with a few pats here and there. “You were so good, Jeonghan! I was actually convinced you were gone for a moment there,” you gushed out. He gave a big smile, “I could say the same, you actually made me too upset to leave you then.” You flustered at his compliment and thanked him.

“Alright guys, in two days we’ll shoot the final scene so rest up and great job to all of you,” the director praised. You still felt a bit buzzed and restless.

Leaving the set, you were welcomed with a gust of wind which sent a chill down your spine. The jacket you had was thin and barely contained any body heat. That’s when you felt a jab at your waist. “Here, take mine,” Jeonghan held his coat up to you.

“There is enough room for both of us,” Minghao started to shift to the side in the car. You shook your head in rejection. “You know I can’t risk getting caught inside the car with you,” you closed the car door on him. He quickly unwind the windows, “And you can’t afford to get caught in the rain.” He opened the door once more. “Please, this last time” he pleaded. Last time.

Those two words replayed in your mind as the distance to your place inches closer. Minghao was going to debut soon and he wasn’t going have any spare time anymore. You both agreed to not commit to one another because of this. The other members didn’t know that of course, they always assumed you both were together. You both couldn’t be bothered to correct them, they’ll find out eventually. People would say it’s a sham but was it really? If your days together were numbered, why be bound to term “couple”?

He glances at you, so lost in thought and unfazed by the loud car honks in the midst of congestion. He hated and loved tomorrow with his heart. He love that his ambitions were becoming reality, from something intangible it becomes tangible. He hated it because the thought of you would eventually become an intangible memory that would seep into his reality when he leasts expects it. He won’t be able to feel you within his proximity like this anymore. You’ve been nothing short of supportive of him and his friends, giving whatever you could to take care of him. He felt bad, not being to repay each one of those things. It would have been worst, if he asked you to be with him. You deserve someone who could reciprocate the effort and love.

Upon reaching your place, you gave his hand a tight squeeze. “All the best for your debut, Hao.”

“I love you, The8,” a fan gushed at him. He politely smiled back the fan, signing off their items and answering their post it notes. His group has been around for a good couple of years now, he never really imagine to be where he is now. It feels too surreal. Minghao still feels like he just debuted and trying to understand the words of his fans (or friends as he likes to call them) that were not in his mother tongue. His constant astonishment when they tell him that he was their inspiration and things along those lines still left a mark to him. Heart warming even.

He wonders how you are, he doesn’t follow you on any social accounts, to ensure none of the fans ever track you down. Fortunately you account is public so he sees how you are once in awhile. In the ever-changing years and moments, you ways seem like the only constant presence he has ever encountered. Even from the updates you post out, you were still the same person from the beginning he knew you till now.

Another album is passed to him, he flips through the album trying to find his a post it note but is slightly surprised when there’s none. He looks up to see a masked face with eyes that seem to pierce through him. “Is there anything you want me to write in here?” he asked. Pen at his hand, ready to mark onto his picture. “How would you respond if I said I love you, Hao?” a voice of familiar endearment causes him to stare at the masked figure. The figure pulling their mask down, he knew exactly what to write.

Taking the book away from the table, you quickly used paper towels to pat it dry but to your avail, the thick book at absorbed half the coffee. Shit.

For the past week, you avoided meeting Joshua like plague, not intentionally. With final submissions piling up and extracurricular activities, you were stumped. It was a miracle you even had time to eat. Slumping in front of your laptop, trying to bullshit your way through a 3000 word essay, your roommate’s head pop out from your door asking if you wanted to join her for dinner. “I can’t, there’s too much work to be done. I’m sorry,” you said. “Tsk, you don’t sound sorry. Make sure you eat something later!” She then departed from your shared unit.

Not too long after, you heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was your roommate who forgot her keys again, you didn’t bother changing out of your pajamas. With the chain of the lock on the latch, you opened the door slightly. “Did you forget-” It was not your roommate. “Joshua….what are you doing here?” you quickly unlatched the chain to let him in. He has seen you worse before so it didn’t bother you how you dressed right now. “I brought food and figured you’ve been avoiding me too,” he said nonchalantly. You were too dumbfounded and exhausted to even respond to his claim. He took a seat at your sofa and saw his book on the coffee table. You dived immediately trying to grab the book before he did but it was too late. He flipped through the pages to get a whiff of coffee and stained pages.