#kynau

Btw, you can totally order the expensive wine, I can pay for it 😉

Ya happy???

Lmao y’all are assholes.

Well, here’s the background:

-Vikings raided Northumbria a couple times. At some point Vikings started to win battles and they did legit take over a ton of the land and start to settle Northumbria. When they settled that means they uh…won the wars and the Northumbrians had to…y’know fucking skedaddle and leave them all of the territory. They legit took over like half of the British island but…that would defeat the purpose of the whole thing and again…when do shows and movies not take all sorts of creative liberties??? so we’re gonna do that here.

-So…..for the purpose of this story: the Vikings come and raid the land and the Northumbrians are NOT HAPPY about it. For obvious reasons. But they don’t leave. The two sides are always fighting each other, trying to kick the other out, instead of just like…sharing because there’s more than enough to go around and just be neighbors. But men love their pissing contests.

-There’s quite a few people on both sides that do think like that tho and are trying to low-key broker peace. They’re like…….but……..look at all the land???????? Why are…why are we fighting????? They could just like……..be over there and we could just….be over here. Helene is one of those people. She’s done her fair share of fighting already. She’s over it. She is part of the “royal” clan (whatever you want to call it) but she’s not THE leader. She still wants better for her people than fucking constant bloodshed and war tho. She wants them to simply have peaceful lives and all she wants for herself is a plot of land by the river where she can live a boring, non eventful life with her beloved tan and black Elkhound named Bein. Ideally she’d spend the day playing with him and never have to pick up a sword and have to patch up one of her own wounds ever again. She’s tired of that shit. The only thing Yelena hates more than fighting at this point is the fucking spoiled Northumbrian tiny little baby bitches. They’re so…..ugh. They’re so fragile. Who raised them? She could split all of them like wet twigs if she wanted. But she won’t. Because she’s over that. She just wants them to stay where they are and be done with it.

-Ladyyyyyyy Catharineeeeeeeeeeee has spent her life comfortable in court. She’s the only daughter of a Duke that's fifth in line to the crown. She’s never had to worry about a thing. If she’s ever had so much as a cut on her knee, three people have been there in four seconds taking care of it. Spoiled spoiled spoiled Kate. She spends a lot of her time socializing with other girls and boys of similar social standing her age. Her beauty and charm make her popular with both sexes alike. You either want to be her friend or kiss her. Despite all of this, Kate’s favorite thing to do is spend time in the woods running with her Greyhounds - Cenric and Eadric. It is quite unfortunate that the woods are off limits now since the STUPID Norsemen arrived. “They’re dangerous”. Yeah…well…if you just made peace with them they wouldn’t be "dangerous". Look at all the land we have. Why are men such idiots? Just…SHARE?! Why wouldn’t we want them far far away anyway? They’re…ugh. They’re such fucking SAVAGES. Who raised them? Animals. All of them. They look like they don’t bathe. And always with the screaming. SO MUCH SCREAMING and the grunting. Just give them land over them and send them on their way. Kate truly doesn’t get what the big deal is. If they went away she could get her woods back. That’s all she wants. To have her peaceful woods back where she can run and be by the river and have a boring day with her dogs. Is that too much to fucking ask for? She doesn’t think she’s being unreasonable here.

-So Yelena has a fight with her siblings about them wanting to fight the Northumbrians again. She’s like “why don’t we use our big boy and big girl mouths and just TALK to them???” and they’re like “NAH. WE CAVEMAN! WE FIGHT! GRRRRR!” so she storms out of there cuz she’s HEATED. She goes to grab the dog and storms into the woods. She heads for the river to cool off.

-Kate has some big fight with her parents and then goes to try and talk with the dude she’s probably going to marry at some point and he’s also being a little bitch so she also storms out of there. She grabs her two overgrown rats and she’s like “TO THE RIVER WE GO!” cuz she needs to cool off. Kate’s normal spot by the river is muuuuch closer to the castle, but the C Rat (Cenric lol) takes off running and she’s like “GODDAMN ITTTTTT” so she has to go after him.

-Yelena is chilling by the river having the BEST time when Bein spots Kate’s oversized rodent and is like “YIPEE A FUCKING SNACK JUST APPEARED!” and takes off after it. Yelena is like “NOOOOOO! WTF WHAT ARE YOU CHASING?! GET BACK HERE!”.

-Kate has no idea where her dog is running to. Yelena has no idea what in the world her dog is chasing. They’re just blindly bolting through the woods after dogs. One dog is like “IMMA EAT THE SHIIIIIT OUT OF YOU ONCE I GET YOU” and the other one is like “MOTHER I HAVE MADE A GRAVE MISTAKE HELPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!”

But please dear Papi, have the first piece I’ll be alright 😉

But aja, los vikingos 👀

I'm giving y'all too much for free......ANYWAY...here's more of the stuff that was skipped before.

A few weeks pass. They're a fleeting thought in each other's minds here and there, sometimes particularly before they fall asleep, but nothing too crazy.

Yelena is in the woods hunting with Bein. She sees some hare and takes off after it. She shoots it. Arrow to the heart. She throws the bow over her shoulder and as she's walking over to the hare she takes out her knife getting ready to open it up. Bein hears something approaching and barks, she turns to look and trips over a branch. It sends her down a hill. She conks her head which stuns her and the knife also ends up on her side so now she's stabbed and bleeding too. FUCK.

She looks up and at the top of the hill she sees Bein barking down at her. "You dumb bitch this is your fault." Then...all of a sudden...next to him...Kate and the two rats appear..."Nope. YOU dumb bitch. This is YOUR fault."

Kate's like..."Well...SUCKS TO BE YOU. BYE!"

"Waittttt...no...wait. 😡😤I need help😖😡"

There's no way Kate is going to physically pull Yelena out but she has been running through these woods her entire life so she knows them intimately. She's like "FINEEEE...follow me. this way. It's easier to get out if you go here."

They end up walking for about fifteen minutes, Kate on the higher ground, Yelena in the pit. Both continously stealing glances at each other.

At one point Bein eventually ran down the hill to walk with Yelena so it was the two sides, making eyes at each other for the entire walk.

It's clear Yelena is in pain and Kate asks if she's okay once but the tough and brave Viking barks back that she's fine because how dare the Northumbrian think she's weak. They are the weak ones so Kate is basically like "🖕🏽well die then🖕🏽"

So the ground eventually starts to level out until they end up side by side.

"Thank you."

"Uhum."

Kate's dogs try to fuck with Bein and he nips at them and in trying to pull him back Yelena fucks up her side. Kate instinctively reaches out to her and...it's as if THOR HIMSELF CAME DOWN AND TOUCHED THEM...

⚡⚡⚡LIGHTNING BABYYYY!⚡⚡⚡

Lol JK

Yelena was so confident too. Baby girlllllll lol

She was like "Look at this face..."

"...who could say no to this charming af face???"

And Kate is like........

"MY FATHER????"

Yeah...we know how well that went...

You’re such a good writer, please have some more more food, I’m paying for it 😉

Papi, do you consider that you are strictly historically factual in your writing or would you plunge into arranged marriage for them? I’m curious of what that would look like/how it would work out for them

I really enjoy your company, how about a third date?

Absjdjxjixodi

I may smudge the history here and there but if I'm doing period, I'm going to be as accurate as I can while still telling the story I want to. So there would be no arranged marriage here.

When it comes to what their future would look like if it wasn't an arranged marriage, they would actually have to fight pretty hard to be together. Mostly Kate's family. I think the Vikings/Yelena's siblings wouldn't be jumping for joy about it but they wouldn't like......kill her over it. I think with Yelena's family it would be the novelty of it all more than anything. They would be the first inter-(whatever you want to call it) couple so it's a weird thing to navigate on their end. It's more of the "you had to pick one of...them??? Really? Were none of our women or men good enough for you? We're actually kind of offended because clearly we're superior than...THEM........." They'd just be really cold to Kate at the beginning but she'd probably win them over slowly.

Kate's family tho......HARD PASSSSSSS. No Royal would EVER be mingling with a Norseman, much less...that way. That's really where the trouble lie. So they get her engaged to the dude that has been courting her for ages and that Kate had been more than fine with marrying before she meets Yelena but is sooooooo not anymore. His family's castle is a couple hours ride away so even better. Kate will be further away from the dirty Norse once she gets married.

Yelena, who believes in talking, is like "Listen...I'm just gonna talk to your parents. They'll see us and get it. Look at us. We're perfect. We could be the bridge between the two sides. It would be what everyone needs! We're the key to peace! We're the solution!"

"That sounds like an AWFUL idea. Don't do that."

"It'll be fine. Don't worry. I'm charming. Look at me."

"You are charming. Very much so. And I love you. But this is NOT going to end well. I'm telling you."

"It will. Trust me. People understand each other if they talk."

Next day. They walk into the Biscop family castle, hand in hand. We're here, we're in love, what the fuck are you gonna do about it? They step into the dining room where Kate's parents are eating and Yelena is basically like "I'm Helen. My intentions with your daughter..."

"You touched my daughter. Guards, take her. Hang her at dawn. Take my daughter to her room and don't let her leave unless I say so."

Yelena takes out a decent amount of guards but they ultimately overpower her and take her to the dungeons.

Kate can't leave but she tells the nanny that has been taking care of her since she was born that she HAS to go tell Yelena's siblings what happened and they need to come. Like RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

The woman sneaks out of the castle and runs through the forest for hours to get to the Viking land. At first they're like "THE FUCK IS A NORTHUMBRIAN DOING HERE?!" and they're about to kill her but she's like "YO HOLD UPPPPPPP KATE SENT ME" right in time. They were finding it weird they hadn't seen Yelena all day anyway. She's like "They're hanging her at dawn." So they're like "GRUNT GRUNT CAVEMEN ASSEMBLE!" And they all get on their horses and they're off to Kate's castle.

When they get to the castle they split up. Some go with the lady. They're like "You show us where Yelena is and we take care of the rest the guards." So that's what they do.

Long story short, massive fight breaks out. Tons of people die on both sides but they get Yelena out.

They're like "Lets go." Yelena is like "I'm not leaving here without Kate." And her siblings are like: "CAN.YOU.PLEASE.GIVE.IT.UP?!" But she's like "Did I stutter?! I'm not leaving this castle without my woman." So they all collectively roll their eyes but they look at Kate's nanny and she's like *sigh* "Follow me."

They go up the stairs but SURPRISE SURPRISE her dad is there, with a dozen guards, outside her room with a sword cuz he ain't dumb. He knew what was coming. Yelena is like "Look, I was nice before. Now I'm not being nice. Move."

"Nah."

"I'm not going to kill you because you're her father but I can hurt you pretty badly. Move."

"Try to move me."

Mind you, this is a middle aged man who has never seen battle a day in his life and Yelena is...A VIKING in her prime lmao. Mediocre white men really do be out there having the balls, I tell you. So Yelena and her siblings look at each other and they all shrug and are like "alright then, if you insist."

The guards are down in a blink and he's the only one left standing in a sea of dead men. Yelena looks at him one more time.

"Again......are you going to move or do you need me to move you?"

Dude is trembling like a fucking leaf and basically makes himself invisible lol

"Key."

He hands over the key without Yelena having to ask twice. Yelena opens the door and she breaks Kate out and they leave.

The Vikings FUCKED THAT CASTLE UP. BAD. They killed most of the guards and the ones left alive are mangled to bits.

Also...as far as the Northumbrians are concerned, the Norsemen just kidnapped the daughter of a Duke......

Well, first of all, they don't even speak the same language. Yelena speaks Old Norse and Kate speaks Northumbrian (Dialect of Old English/Anglo-Saxon). While out of all of the old languages there is evidence that Old Norse and Old English had the most overlap and that they had the most probability of being able to carry like half a conversation/there could be some sense of intelligibility between them they are still not the same language tho. The way I'd like to think about it is: I'm fluent in Spanish and if you put me in a room with a Portuguese/Brazilian Portuguese speaker or an Italian speaker who doesn't speak Spanish, if we talk slowly enough to each other and maybe do hand signals, we'll probably be able to communicate sufficiently to at the very least get through the very basics of what we need to say. If not more. I think I can understand past the basics of both, waaaaay more if it's written but most people were illiterate back then so the writing is out the window.

SO, when they get to the clearing you have two people from opposite factions who were absolutely not expecting to bump into the other, screaming at each other in different languages, and three barking dogs. Kate thinks the Viking is going to kill her. Yelena doesn't help her case when she whips out her sword because she's now expecting this girl's guards to pop out from behind her any second and it's just one of her vs. fuck knows how many of them...it's fucking CHAOS. Then when nothing happens they're both like...

"Oh...???.......GET YOUR FUCKING DOG UNDER CONTROL!"

Vikings take a lot of pride in their dogs. They're fancy working dogs. Nice breeds. Well kept. Having a dog meant status and the more dogs you had the wealthier you were. Bein was also well trained as fuck (usually) so Yelena whistles and he calms the fuck down and runs to her side right away. Kate's dogs on the other hand.......not so much. She has to chase them for a second which is...embarrasing. And Yelena rolls her eyes at truly just how useless the Northumbrians are. But Kate finally gets the dogs and they're basically like "🖕🏽fuck you...and your dog🖕🏽" to each other.

I’ll give you my grandmas tostones de plátano and a chuleta in exchange

They're original characters. Technically, like with CFAU, all the characters in these AUs are OCs because I'm building them and the worlds they inhabit from the ground up. I could publish a book or sell a script with them tomorrow and be perfectly in the clear since they have absolutely no connection to the show. For the purpose of these conversations they just happen to have familiar names to make it easier for consumption and for us to have fun. Yet if we get technical everything I'm doing is my original creation. It's part of the reason I hardly follow whose sisters is where or who has dead parents or XYZ. Canon on the show doesn't really affect what I'm trying to do here very much. You may see sprinkles of it like you did in CFAU as an homage but overall there isn't any real tether to the Marvel world except the names that are being used for the sake of conversation at this point but...whatever. Let's not get in the weeds with the technicalities/legalities lol.

Anyway...There was another girl in the family who used to be the leader/queen (you can call her Natasha if you want lol) but she died in battle when Yelena was pretty young so mostly all she has from her are a few sporadic memories and the stories of how iconic her sister was.