#kyanrika

They say it well, longing to meet someone is emotion, but wanting to see them becomes a kind of illness.

At the beginning, we were just groupmates. Both Type O, both easygoing, it felt like we simply clicked.

That was all it was supposed to be.

Because honestly, she was too cute. Too pretty. So effortlessly radiant that standing next to her felt mismatched in a way I didn’t want to think too hard about. Someone like her wouldn’t be interested in me. That was the assumption I held onto.

And yet, she started reaching out more. Twitter, LINE, little messages that didn’t mean anything, and somehow meant everything. We started going out together, just the two of us. Nothing special. Just… time.

And slowly, quietly, something in me began to hope.

“Maybe I’m just being full of myself,” I’d think. “But maybe… just maybe, Rikako is a little interested in me too.”

 ------------------

The July event in Numazu ended. Then the August livestream.

The next time all of us would be together was September 9th.

Just a few weeks.

That’s all it was supposed to be.

So why did it feel so unbearable?

I missed her.

The realization sat heavy in my chest, but even then, I couldn’t bring myself to ask her to meet.

And then, a message.

“Aikyan, can you hang out right now?”

For a second, I just stared at my phone.

Then I was on my feet, practically bouncing in place, heart racing faster than I could keep up with.

I typed back quickly, forcing my tone into something casual, something that wouldn give me away,

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

I didn’t wait for the reply before I started getting ready.

What would she wear today? Would it be something soft? Something cool? Something that, by some miracle, might match mine?

The thought made my chest feel strangely warm.

I had just finished changing when my phone buzzed again.

“Can I come over to your place?”

My place?

I blinked.

The last time she’d been here was around my birthday the year before, she and Arisha had stayed over. Since then, we’d both been too busy. And besides, Rikako liked going out, new places, new cafes, anywhere but staying in.

So why now?

“I mean… sure. But there’s not much to do here?”

It wasn’t a lie. My place wasn’t exactly exciting.

But the truth was, I wanted her here more than anything.

“That’s totally fine! I just want to talk.”

Talk?

Something important, then?

“Okay! I’ll clean up a bit.”

“I’m already at the nearest station, I’ll be there soon!”

“…That fast?”

I let out a quiet laugh, already moving to tidy up.

If I’d said no, she probably would’ve come anyway.

 ------------------

A little while later, the doorbell rang.

“Coming!”

I opened the door, and,

“Hey~ I’m here.”

“…Yeah. Welcome.”

And just like that, there she was.

Cute. Of course she was. Effortlessly, unfairly cute.

Who dresses this nicely just to visit someone’s house?

“…So?”

I asked, trying to sound normal.

“What’s up?”

Rikako hesitated.

Actually hesitated, something she almost never did. Her hand brushed through her hair as she looked away.

“Uh… well…”

“Hm?”

“…Can I get some tea first?”

“Ah—yeah. Sure. Give me a sec.”

Something about that made my chest tighten.

Is it something serious?

I handed her the tea once I came back, watching her carefully.

“Here.”

“Thanks.”

She took a sip.

And then,

“Um…”

“Yeah?”

“Uh…”

“What is it?”

I laughed.

“You’re acting weird.”

She was.

Rikako, who usually said things so bluntly, so easily, now she looked like she didn’t know where to begin.

“…Aikyan,” she said softly.

“Yeah?”

“I… wanted to see you.”

Her face flushed red as she said it.

For a moment, everything stilled.

And then, without thinking,

“…You’re too cute!”

It slipped out before I could stop it.

“Ah—sorry,”

I added quickly.

“I mean—I’m really happy. Thank you.”

“Sorry for saying it so suddenly…”

“No, it’s fine. Really.”

Because it was.

Because—

“I wanted to see you too,”

I admitted, words catching slightly.

“I mean… I also wanted to give you your souvenir.”

A weak cover.

Ninety percent of it was a lie.

But the remaining ten percent, I held that out to her.

“Oh, right. You mentioned that.”

“Yeah. Here.”

She took it, eyes lighting up as she looked it over.

“Huh… for something from Aikyan, this isn’t even a joke gift. It’s actually cute.”

“Hey! I can be serious when I want to be!”

She laughed softly.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

She looked so happy.

So genuinely happy, just holding something I’d picked out, and suddenly, my chest felt too full.

Too tight.

Like something inside me was about to spill over.

 “Hey… Rikako.”

“Hm?”

“…I like you.”

The words hung in the air.

Rikako froze.

“I’m sorry,”

I rushed on, heart pounding.

“I know we’re both girls, and maybe it’s weird, but—”

My voice trembled.

“I like you. I really do.”

Silence.

Complete, suffocating silence.

She didn’t move.

Didn’t speak.

And for a second, I thought,

I messed up.

I wanted to run.

But this was my house.

There was nowhere to go.

So I stayed.

And waited.

Minutes passed.

Then finally, Rikako blinked, like she’d just come back to herself.

“Um… about that…”

“Yeah?”

“…That’s what I came here to tell you.”

“…Huh?”

I stared at her.

“Wait—what?”

“I told you, didn’t I? I had something I wanted to talk about.”

“Wait, but—you already—no, you didn’t—wait—”

I was completely lost.

Rikako took a breath.

Then, quietly,

“Let me say it properly.”

She looked straight at me.

“Aikyan… no—Aika.”

My name.

Not the nickname.

Not the teasing version.

The real one.

“I like you.”

And just like that, I was done for.

Completely.

“…Really?”

I whispered.

“You think I’d joke about something like that?”

She said, a little flustered.

“Especially when we both know what it means… that we’re both girls.”

And that was it.

That was all it took.

“Thank youuuuu—!”

“W-wait—here too!?”

I was already crying.

I couldn’t stop.

I’ve always been like this, too emotional, too easy to break into tears.

And right now?

There was no holding it back.

“Because I’m happy…”

I choked out.

“I’m so happy…”

“You’re really too cute…”

“You are too…”

“Th-thank you…?”

Ah.

There it was.

When she gets embarrassed, she switches to polite speech.

Just like that one livestream.

I almost laughed through my tears.

And then, she stood up.

“What—”

Before I could finish, she pulled me into her arms.

Warm.

Close.

Real.

“Aikyan… I love you.”

“…Can you call me ‘Aika’ again?”

I murmured.

A small tease.

Just a little.

“…Geez,”

She huffed softly.

“Aika… I love you.”

I smiled against her.

“Yeah,”

I whispered.

“I love you too, Rikako.”

And just like that, we became us.

 ------------------

As for how the others figured it out and started bombarding us with questions?

Rikyako looks back to the person who comes to mind whenever she thinks of a romantic partner and when their eyes meet again, Rikyako drops her head immediately to stare at a space on the table.

Eh!? W-Was Aikyan looking at me? Am I imagining things?

Ainya for once was sharp and noticed something going on between Rikyako and Aikyan, or perhaps it was her spot-on gay sense tingling again, but the small and cute singer asks, “Is there something you want to say to Kyan, Rikyako?”

“Eh? No…I… No?” Rikyako smiles a confused smile to Ainya, trying and failing to not let her eyes peek back at Aikyan to see her face, that beautiful porcelain face and just to see if she was looking.

If Anchan and Shuka are literal magnets, my eyes and Aikyan just might be the next magnetic thing since I cannot seem to not look. At. Her!! Aaahhh!

Rikyako kept up the serene smile while she panicked on the inside. Conflicted at how badly she wants to openly stare at Aikyan whom she has a crush on and wanted to not admit to it. Or not admit it to the world.

Ainya hums thoughtfully. “Hmm… You’ve been looking at her though.”

“N-No. I was not!” Rikyako feels her cheeks grew hot again at being called out for her blatant staring.

Ahh, was I that obvious about it??

“Hmm… Lately, you’ve been doing that a lot.” Ainya pushes.

“You’re misunderstanding things…” Rikyako does look to Aikyan again, however, and quickly averts her gaze when their eyes meet, causing Rikyako’s heart to skip a beat again.

What is with those eyes and their magic capability to make my heart do those somersault kinds of things!!

Averting her gaze by turning her head away again, Rikyako happens to make eye contact with Shuka on the left side, just done giving Anju some headpats for doing well in today’s dance practice; the leader of Aqours giving a silly “Heh heh heh” to Shuka.

Ah… I wish I could be as honest as Shuka…

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rikyako manages to avoid having to explain her obvious staring and constant fidgety behaviour around Aikyan and with everyone changed out of their practice wear and into their casual clothes; everyone was free to leave the dance studio and do what they want for the rest of the day.

Maybe I could ask Shuka for advice…

Rikyako has been thinking long and hard about this, ever since she realized her growing feelings for her groupmate who was also her subunit mate, all the time spent together and the impossible heart racing she had to live with when they were close..! Rikyako wanted some progress and felt like it would be best to confide to someone.

Shuka is always such a good listener to what I have to say…

But getting Shuka alone was hard. Shuka was almost always with someone if not Anju!

Gosh, are you forever with Anchan or what??

When resting, she was with Anju. When changing, she was talking to Anju. When walking about she was chilling with Anju! And on other times when Rikyako thought Shuka was alone, the girl was chatting with another member!!!

When will Shuka give me a chance to get her alone..! Mou!

Shuka was just about to flutter over to AiAi to chat when she lets out a surprised yelp as she was pulled by her arm backwards. “Rikyako? What’s up?”

“Can we talk for a bit? I…need your advice on something.” Rikyako blinks nervously as she blurts out her intentions.

Shuka smiles a wry smile, seemingly having a hunch on what is up. “Your treat?”

She’s a literal little sister.

“Fine.” Rikyako returns a relaxed smile at Shuka grinning cutely to get treated.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the café, Rikyako chose a corner of the store where it was quieter and less busy to sit at. Not wanting any possible eavesdroppers and also not wanting to get overly conscious about people’s gazes.

Shuka scoots into her spot and grins. “I’ll have a Chocolate Chip Crème Frappuccino and a…Blueberry Crumble Muffin!”

Rikyako chuckles. “Sure, sure.”

Hmm… What should I get..?

Rikyako heads up to the counter, with one person ordering in front, she took the time to browse the menu and display of pastries.

What should I ask Shuka first..? About how to be confident about my feelings..? Or about how to confess..? I guess this should be obvious.

It was her turn to order so Rikyako steps up with a soft smile greeting the cashier. “May I have a Chocolate Chip Crème Frappuccino, a Mocha Frappuccino, and one Blueberry Crumble Muffin?”

“One Chocolate Chip Crème Frappuccino, one Mocha Frappuccino, and one Blueberry Crumble Muffin. And the name..?”

“Ah. Ka-chan.” Rikyako says and lowers her head as she remembers how she thought the rest of the girls were calling her mum when they meant to use the ‘ka’ in her Rikako.

The cashier lady probably did not think much about it but Rikyako still felt slight embarrassment from her silliness.

Maybe I should have said RKK.

Rikyako makes the payment and decides to wait about instead of going back to her seat; wanting just a few more minutes to think of what she might want to ask Shuka for help with.

It’s this day and age already and yet… I can’t help but feel that there’s a chance that Aikyan might not like me that way…

Rikyako shakes her head lightly.

No, that’s not it… I’m worried…about what others would think. Everyone seems open-minded, especially seen with Anchan and Shuka’s relationship reveal…

Rikyako closes her eyes as her eyebrows knitted together.

No… There’s no point lying to myself. The problem here is that… I’m worried about what the world thinks about me being in love with another girl…

Rikyako sighs just as her name was called.

“Ka-chan.”

Rikyako puts on a smile quickly as she took her orders onto a tray and returns to Shuka who pushed her phone to the side and gave Rikyako a smile and thanks.

Somehow… I don’t feel as scared about these feelings when looking at Shuka.

“Ooh~ This looks yummy.” Shuka held the fork in hand as she eyed her dessert. “Oh, you didn’t get yourself something?”

“No, I got to keep my calorie count checked.” Rikyako smirks and Shuka laughs.

“Right, right. There was that.” Shuka takes a bite and elicits a happy sound.

So carefree…

“Were you texting Anchan?”

“Mm. Was it that obvious?” Shuka nods, swallows, and replies.

Rikyako sips her drink. “Now that I think about it, it was quite the redundant question since you two are always texting when apart.”

Shuka’s cheeks pinken slightly. “That’s not true.”

Rikyako shakes her head with a fond smile at the younger girl’s bashfulness. “Did you…tell Anchan that you’re with me?”

Shuka seems thoughtful for a moment before nodding. “She was going to take me out on a date after all.”

“Oh.” Rikyako’s eyes widens slightly. “I’m sorry, if you got something on-”

“Was.” Shuka repeats then smiles widely. “Anju texted me that she can’t believe she got beaten by you in asking me out~”

Oh… So they have yet to make plans… Thank goodness.

“It is truly hard to believe since you two are stuck together like glue!” Rikyako shakes her head again, giving herself a mental pat on the back for being able to get Shuka alone.

Shuka laughs. “It would seem to be the case.”

“It is the case!” Rikyako chuckles at Shuka’s funny smile and shaking of her head, pretending to be in denial.

Granting some silence to munch on the muffin and drink their drinks, Rikyako fidgeted with the paper that once held the straw till it was all crumpled up nicely.

“Shuka…”

“Yeah?”

“How did you decide that…you are 100% gay for Anchan?” Rikyako squishes the paper in her hand tightly, nervous about whatever answer she could be getting, nervous about the topic.

Ahhh.

Shuka looks right at Rikyako before reacting. “Pfft, how I fell in love with Anju? That’s easy-”

“The being gay part is important too.” Rikyako hurries to emphasize.

“I know. And you’re overthinking things, Rikyako.” Shuka had a gentle smile on her lips and Rikyako felt her tenseness reduce a little.

“Love is love. Regardless of gender. Anju is Anju. So… I fell in love with her.”

Rikyako nods, listening intently.

Love is love… Anchan is Anchan and so… Shuka who is Shuka. Fell in love with Anchan…

“And Kyan is Kyan. You’re in love with Kobayashi Aika-san. Correct?”

Kyan is Kyan. And I’m in love with—

Rikyako’s eyes bulged and her mouth fell agape in surprise as Shuka had a big smug grin, looking ridiculous as she waggled her eyebrows teasingly at Rikyako.

“H-How did you..?” Rikyako’s face was hot and red.

“Call it women’s intuition!” Shuka cackles.

Rikyako snorts. “Even though you’re a kid.”

“Hey! I’m already an adult!” Shuka puffs her cheeks out indignantly at Rikyako who forgets about her own crush problems as a tease bubbled in her mind and out her mouth.

“Anchan made you an adult?”

“Wha— T-That’s not the point!” Shuka blushes immediately causing Rikyako to blush a little more too.

“She did, huh…” Rikyako looks away and so does Shuka.

I guess that should be expected but aahhhh..!! No, don’t imagine it, Rikako. Shuka is too pure to be…to be… by Anchan…! No stop. The images. Aaahh!

Shuka fidgets with the straw in her drink, stirring the contents randomly. “Can we not talk of that right now?”

With extra reddened cheeks, Rikyako nods and mumbles. “Looks like I will need to look for you for help again if I can…come to terms with myself and find the courage to…”

Confess…///

“R-Right. I’m here for you, Aida.”

“Saitou.”

Rikyako and Shuka share a staring match before bursting into laughter.

.

.

.

Shuka was finished with her blueberry muffin when she props her chin on her hand. “So…Do you think you will be able to confess to Aikyan?”

“Don’t think so…” Rikyako sighs as she glanced at Shuka and back down at the table.

I know I’m in love with Aikyan but how am I supposed to even go about confessing to her???

“Rikyako.” Shuka calls for the older girl’s attention.

When Rikyako looks up into earnest brown eyes, she could not help but sit up straighter.

“Tell me who you love.”

“Eh? You already know..?” Rikyako’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Tell me who you love.” Shuka repeats with a small nod, trusting that Rikyako will catch on.

Oh… She wants me to say it aloud.

“I…” Rikyako begins and finds her voice stuck.

“I… I love…” Rikyako licks her lips and grabs her drink to help with this sudden dryness of her lips.

Why is it so hard??

Shuka waits patiently, subtly placing her drink to the side, giving Rikyako her full attention.

“I love… …”

Rikyako wanted to let out another sigh, wanted to give up and say it was too difficult for her to do so right now. Maybe she needed another day. A few more hours. Some alone time to pep-talk herself. But before she could—

“Riiikyako.” Shuka drags the first syllable for a bit and Rikyako looks up to see that patient smile again; the magic of Shuka’s smile already stealing some tension away from Rikyako’s creased eyebrows and heavy shoulders. “Just think about her. Don’t think about anything else. …Then tell me who it is.”

I love… the one I love…

“She’s lovely.”

“I’m sure she is.” Shuka’s lips pull higher as she knew it was working.

“She’s kind. And patient.”

Shuka nods and Rikyako feels something bubbling inside her – the desire to talk about the person she loves.

“She’s silly and funny. And she makes me laugh and knows me. Like, like no other…” Rikyako unknowingly lets out a dreamy sigh as she thought of her crush.

Shuka nods encouragingly.

“She’s someone that I wish to be able to…be together more. And to… h-h-hold hands with… Like you and Anchan do.”

Shuka chuckles softly. “I’m sure you’ll get to.”

“And…maybe get a kabedon or two…” Rikyako scratches her pinkened cheeks at the idea.

Shuka giggles. “She’d get embarrassed too though.”

“Very much so.” Rikyako giggles along.

“I love that about her too.”

“Me too…”

“Who is this wonderful person~?” Shuka sing-songs.

“She’s… Kobayashi Aika. I’m sure you know her too.” Rikyako grins, a glint in her eyes and a weight off her chest.

“I love Aikyan…” Rikyako says aloud, in a gentle tone, in a voice filled with so much love that it surprised herself.

Shuka beams from ear to ear. “Now go tell her that!”

“O-One step at a time!” Rikyako covers her face with both hands; failing to hide the wide smile she could not help but smile at admitting the enormous love she feels for Aikyan.

Confessing was a hurdle for another day. Right now, Rikyako simply felt lighter, like she could float up into the air with just these feelings of love she has for Aikyan. And she loved the feeling.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author Notes

PAAAAART ONEEEEEEE!!!!

Yes, you heard that right! There’s going to be another chapter of KyanRika in the near future!!! *O*

And I do hope y’all look forward to it~ XD

But first..~ How did you like this first chapter? OwO

I thought it’d be cute to touch on Rikyako being a little unsure about…admitting her feelings. It’s something that isn’t easy after all! And even if it’s so freaking obvious that she has a big crush on Aikyan, it doesn’t mean that Rikyako herself wouldn’t be worrying about it~ :))))

Also since Rikyako loves mentioning how much she likes that Shuka listens to her talk; why not let Shuka be the wingwoman while I have some of my favourite AnShuka in this right? Hehehe~ UwU

Leave a comment if you like! ^w^ Let me know your favourite parts! :D