#ky stuff

Its very likely that i somehow missed it, so if i did apologies in advance! Just wanted to check to be sure :)

[id in alt text]

First up I just wanna say that I'm real glad that people are still interested in joining in, it's a-okay to ask questions, and thanks for being patient while I took (and am still kinda taking) time offline and couldn't respond.

To quickly answer your questions: First Drafthouse open days are still happening, the next is scheduled for 1st February

Basically what happened in December is that-- because I'm the one that's entirely in charge of organising, announcing, and generally keeping an eye on open days, if I don't keep a close track of the date, or can't get on discord and tumblr to sort the various links and announcements, open day kinda just slips by the wayside.

Sometimes I remember quickly and open day happens on the 2nd rather than the 1st (e.g. last June, when I was An Distracted Fool). And then other times I'm dealing with so much Life Stuff that it just doesn't happen at all, and the other mods and I agree it's less confusing and stressful to just skip one.

dude

I understand where you're coming from, and I'm sorry if my post came off as if I were purposely uninviting you, that wasn't my intention. I more wanted to address the fact that there's a helluva lot of people online that take the use of terms like 'the queer community' extremely personally, to the point of butting in on unrelated conversations and derailing them.

You're right, there really is no easy solution for shorthand terms, and the thing is... there never will be! That's just kinda how it is when there's millions and millions of us from literally every walk of life on this planet. The internet and the whole global village phenomenon and toxic discourse and all that jazz just makes trying to discuss all of this even more confusing, and often even more upsetting.

As far as academia goes... It's a mess, and basically any queer studies academic would agree with me, I'm sure. We can't retroactively label people, yeah (there are plentiful debates over whether it's fair to even call Sappho a lesbian), but much of the field (as far as I'm aware) is spent on studying works from the last century or so, or viewing texts/events/historical figures through a modern lens. I will agree that my description in my other post was reductive so I could make a point, though.

Okay

You're not queer

I won't call you that, no one should call you that, and anyone that does is being an asshole regardless of their identity or minority status. It doesn't matter what reasoning you have behind not wanting to be labelled as queer, what trauma you may or may not have, what you've identified as in the past and present, and whether or not your preference just comes to not liking the vibe of the word for entirely inscrutible reasons. No one has any right to pry.

If you say you're not queer, then you're not queer, and that's okay.

It just also means that if I, a queer person, talk about the queer community, then I'm not referring to you. If an academic refers to queer history and queer texts written by queer people about other queer people, they're also not talking about you. If a corporation starts using 'queer' in their ads then they can eat shit because fuck 'em, they have no fucking right to use our words when they aren't and have never been one of us, but if a well-meaning ally uses 'queer' as a one-syllable shorthand for LGBTQIA+ in a verbal conversation, then there's no reason for you to get any more annoyed at them as you would if they used the word 'gay' instead.

You have every single right to be labelled or not labelled as you like, and I will stand behind you all the way. If someone is trying to shove 'queer' on you when you really don't want it? Then I will happily, metaphorically, deck them in the face for you. We are still family, whatever you choose to call yourself, and it's important that we stick together.

But

If you aren't queer, and you get frustrated when you see queer people talking about the queer community, take a deep breath, and consider:

I am Once Again trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me with far too few resources and far too long waiting lists for me to be inclined to actually go to a doctor about any of it

like

been vvvaaaaagguely prodding at ME/CFS with a stick the past few months? because fucking hell, I've just been more fatigued than not lately, to the point that I, a terminal non-napper*, curled up on the couch and fell asleep for an hour a bit before lunch today

*i.e. I genuinely suck at napping, I can only really sleep at night no matter how much I've tried, the only way to make me take a nap is to get me a) medicated, and/or b) extremely sick (anD EVEN THEN-)

But on the other hand, I don't know if this is just an extension of *gestures at all my other health bs*, 'cos it very well could be. I know for a fact that fatigue is a migraine symptom for me, I know it goes hand in hand with depression, I know it pairs wonderfully with the whole my-body-is-in-constant-repair-mode-from-trying-to-cope-with-jello-joints thing that EDS brings, but just...

iunno

just in writing this I've gone from sitting up, to lying across the couch with my head propped on a pillow, to being completely flopped over and grateful for my ability to touch type because now my head's below the level of my laptop and my eyes are closed and dear gods is it hard to think to the end of a sentence

I'd be more willing to talk to a doctor about this stuff if either the NHS was in a better state than it is (found out the other month that there's like... a grand total of five GPs attending to something like a quarter of the whole city), or if I could afford to go private. But it isn't, and I can't, so I'm stuck with medical whack-a-mole with anything acute when it pops up

I've gotta go into the office tomorrow and be a human person and present shit to strangers and probably be on my feet for hours but even right now I'm too tired to care. I'm too tired to even be bored, really. It's bone-deep and it doesn't even feel heavy like the depression fatigue I'm used to feels, it's more like pushing through treacle, or a thousand filamet-fine threads of silk layered over me and oh so gently persuading me back to the ground

I dunno

dunno what the point of any of this was, but it feels better to have put some words to papter I guess

Ah well

(typos fixed after I could open my eyes again: only 4, fuck yeah, nice to know I can still touch type pretty well even when I'm contorted in the weirdest of fucking angles)