#kurtwig

@kurts-wishes

Life was lived in different shades of glittering grey for Hedwig, after pushing Kurt away for good, she was indifferent towards most of everything. She ran on autopilot, feeling at her best when she was performing, and only half of that was because performing was one of her favorite things to do. Kurt was always there in the audience. She didn't go out of her way to interact with him during the show like she had before, but she did casually (in one of those "accidentally" ways) throw a few things in his general direction to make sure that he had a piece of the show to take home-- to that home that still had some of her things in it, because instead of taking them back, she had shown up and decided to take the spare key at the last minute instead.

Things seemed to be going pretty well, if the fact that Hedwig felt empty and alone was ignored. She got through her daily life with the poise that those around her had grown accustomed to. If you didn't know that the extra venom in her snarky wit meant that she was hurting and lashing out, you wouldn't know that anything was different. The last kiss Kurt had forced on her kept coming back to mind. It had been so angry, and if it had been him giving her the middle finger, she'd dropped to her knees and performed oral sex on it. She's given in so easily, then been left wanting and silent in her need. This was her own doing. 

This day was different though. This was an important day for Kurt and Hedwig, and going through it alone had made her feel even more empty. It reminded her of what she had pushed away. She was almost happy about the idea of getting to see Kurt in the audience, at this point she didn't even question whether or not he'd be there. He had to have heard every song she'd ever sung at least fifty times by now, and yet he still came.

To say that Hedwig was a complicated person to exist with was an understatement. To most, seeing someone that they cared about in the audience of their show would be something that was one hundred percent embraced. Seeing Kurt had given Hedwig strength and moxy, sure, but it had put an itch in her head that couldn’t be ignored. She had broken them up to stop herself from adding to her list of disappointments and mistakes; to protect her heart and to protect her memories of what she had shared with Kurt. All of the other men that she had cared for were tainted now, there wasn’t a single one that she could look back on without seeing regret. That would not be how she thought of Kurt. She would not have those kinds of memories with him. Still, she had kissed him during her show for the shock value, and maybe for a few other reasons too.