#ksb

I'm really happily picturing all the complicated emotions she'd feel as she spends more time in the Tetsuhiro-Souichi household... of course she already suspects that they're in a relationship because cmon. "roommates"?? but I think it'd be a turning point for her to actually see them living their ordinary lives together...

Tetsuhiro waking up early to make breakfast for the two of them... already frying eggs the way Souichi likes them... Souichi waking up a few minutes later and wordlessly putting on enough coffee for both of them, making Tetsuhiro's coffee the way he likes it... The realization that a gay relationship would go beyond sex, would go into a casual but deep care for each other in the day to day -- a partnership (she doesn't even have that with her own husband of 20+ years...)

Maybe she'd make dinner for all of them to try to help out bc she's overstaying her welcome, and Souichi would say something like "oh... so that's where Mori--ah, Tetsuhiro learned how to make stewed chicken wings... it tastes the same." And she'd feel a little bittersweet because why doesn't she know that, but oh, her baby boy still has parts of her with him, even though he didn't speak to her for 7 years.

She'd notice that Tetsuhiro looked so happy/relaxed coming home to see Souichi, but stiffened up when he realized that she was still there, stopping himself from hugging Souichi in front of her, and she'd probably feel a little heartbroken -- was her own son scared of looking happy in front of her? How had she failed so badly as a mother, that he doesn't feel safe showing love in front of her?

Maybe she'd come back once from grocery shopping, and Tetsuhiro would be asleep on Souichi's shoulder, his hand in Souichi's. She hasn't seen her son's relaxed face in so long -- he's drooling on Souichi's shirt, but Souichi seems used to it -- Souichi just continues flipping through whatever research paper he's reading. He catches her eye. He glances at the sleeping Tetsuhiro on his shoulder, and then he just stares back at her, unmoving. Like a challenge. Daring her to say something about it. (Souichi's still wary of her, and she deserves it, she knows. It hasn't escaped her notice that Souichi tags along to every outing she and Tetsuhiro have, hackles raised, ready to jump to Tetsuhiro's defense the moment she says something cruel.)

Tetsuhiro mumbles something in his sleep, and Souichi instantly softens when he looks at him, adjusting under Tetsuhiro to make him more comfortable. She stares. She aches.

(Her own husband doesn't look at her like that. When was the last time she'd looked at Tetsuhiro that softly?)

She looks at Souichi with new eyes. Oh. This is the person that was there for her son when she abandoned him. This is the person that loved him where she didn't. This is the person who would fight for him where she was too scared to.