#kryssiesbookofselfinserts

Be it by luck, chance, or Hydaelyn’s good graces, The Last Stand was practically empty and Krysanthe was more than grateful—for this was the most nervous she’s ever felt. Of all the trials she’s faced and triumphed, it was sitting here at the only cafe in Sharlayan, that has her worrying the sleeve of a pink, lace trimmed sweater dress. The only jewelry worn were small gold rose shaped earrings and matching rings, and two delicate gold necklace chains with simple gold ovals functioning as pendants—the whole outfit which was lovingly put together by Tataru as an attempt to get the Viera into some casual wear; the white fringed shawl was draped over the back of her chair. She looked down at the cup of black tea she bought as she waited, seeing a few of her earthen dark coils fall over her dark brown eyes in her limited reflection. Her tense expression mirrored back at her before she sighed and took another sip to calm her nerves.

She thought she’d find her stride in peacetime—picking up other hobbies, adventuring for the sake of it—but all she had show for was months of isolation after the dust finally settled; that and her hair returning to it’s natural curly-coiled state. A talk with her older sister helped snap her out of it, which led her to this impromptu trip to Sharlayan for a change of scenery. Included in this trip was to spend some time with G’raha, an offer which the red-headed Scion sounded eager to accept over linkpearl. That conversation was only a few days ago, but in her current state of anxiousness, she was nursing her tea and glancing at the path a half-hour before their meeting time.

“Just calm down, Krysanthe… it’s not like this is a date,” she murmured into her tea, the steam fogging her glasses as a soft blush colored her face at the thought.

Yes, if it was an actual date, you’d have collapsed in a heap by now. A familiar voice in the back of her head piped up, the voice of the inner darkness that sprung forth since she took the mantle of the dark knight. Krysanthe felt that voice laugh with a hint of a smile as it continued.

Then again, Raha does look at us with nothing but adoration. You’d think he’s worship us if he’d have the choice. Hahaha! Maybe even kiss our feet if we said so!

Though she soon shook the thought out of her head, and the blush from her cheeks. She knew G’raha valued her as a dear friend—and she’s harbored some affection towards him since she saw him step into the Crystal Tower, but date? Date her? Being intimate with her?She forced herself to stop dwelling on that thought as her eyes caught a familiar streak of red coming down the path. Not since she saw her sister, has Krysanthe felt a whole smile grace her lips as she saw G’raha, his breathing heavy through a chuckle as he sat down at her table.

“Pray, forgive me Krysanthe, I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

~*~

G’raha looked himself over in his mirror, letting out a breath as he undid his braid for the third time. When Krysanthe said she wanted to spend some time with him, he did accept the offer with eagerness and excitement. But now, here he was, spending time in his room in the Baldesion Annex, fretting over his appearance like he has a childhood crush—the gentle teasing from Krile certainly didn’t help. Letting his shoulders relax, he looked over his reflection, deciding to leave his hair our of his braid after a moment more of fretting. The attire, picked with some assistance from Krile, was simple, but suited him well: a crisp red button-up with a dark grey waistcoat with similar gold designs near the hem that brought back memories of his Exarch robes. Brushing off his black pants, he made a move to wrap his scarf around his neck—half from habit, half from that there’s still a chill in the air outside. Tugging on his boots before leaving the Annex, G’raha took a breath and decided to take a slight detour to the marketplace, buying a small bouquet of purple roses before making a beeline to The Last Stand.

The Mi’qote could feel his heart beating quicker and louder as he got closer to his final destination, his palms sweaty despite the cool island air. He stopped in the aetheryte plaza for a moment to calm himself, though he could see the caféfrom this vantage point. Breathing in the crisp hair helped steady his heartbeat, but the nerves were still there.

“There’s nothing to be nervous, about,” he grumbled to himself as he glanced at the flowers he held, “It’s just a day with Krysanthe.”

By the Twelve, even saying her name make his heart skip a beat; a blind man could see how he felt about her. How he held the Viera as his friend, his inspiration. Stories of her deeds and kindness kept him on course as the Crystal Exarch during his time leading the Crystarium. And how that he was here—fully a flesh and blood man and not half-crystalline and bound to the Tower, both of his souls merged and in sync—he wanted to see what was possible with her. All he wanted to do was to see her know her happiness. Hopefully, this day would be the start of some happiness, even over the linkpearl, he could hear the sadness she tried to hide.

“Alright, enough dallying,” G’raha smiled at the bouquet and felt the smile spread to his heart before he started his run to The Last Stand.

~*~

Ruby red met deep sable eyes as they locked eyes at the table. Krysanthe felt her voice catch as she was about to speak, since she was stunned by how beautiful he looked. His hair draping just past his shoulders, but still had that bit that’s always pinned back. This clothes were tailored to him perfectly, formed to his frame and the sight of his scarf draped around him made her smile.

“I… I-I haven’t waited long, don’t worry G’raha,” she looked at him sweetly as she caught sight of the flowers. “Are… a-are those for me?”

Wicked white, she’s beautiful…Was all G’raha could think as she saw her. There she was, his inspiration. He realized this might be the first time he’s seen her not in armor or healing raiment. Her hair, her dress, even her aura felt as soft as she looked. However, her smile made his heart melt. He could get lost in her eyes, dark and warm as they were, though he still felt that spark of sadness in them. He wanted to heal that for her, be there for her. Though when he heard her voice asking about the flowers, he snapped out of it.

“Ah, right!” His ears flicked upward with a wide smile as he held out the purple roses, “I hope I’m not being untoward, I remembered you said these were your favorites. I hope this is still true?”

Looking at the flowers properly, the tips of the petals a darker purple that ombréinto a lighter lavender towards the base, Krysanthe felt her cheeks warm as she gently took the bouquet from G’raha. Their fingertips brushed against each other as the transfer was made, and he curled his fingers back into a relaxed fist on the table as he watched her breathe in the rose’s scent. Giving him a look of thanks, set them beside her teacup with a small laugh.

“Thank you for the gift, G’raha. It was very sweet of you,” she said as she folded her fingers around her cup, “Though now I feel bad about coming empty handed.” “Oh, no no,” he shook his head and smiled, “Spending this day with you is the true gift.”

Feeling the warmth in her cheeks flare, Krysanthe opened her mouth to speak, but only a squeak came out as she couldn’t form the words. How could he say these things so effortlessly? The best—worst?—part is, is that she knows he’d genuine in all that he says. As she was busy ruminating and mentally floundering at his sincerity, G’raha’s lips curled into a catlike smile, more than a little pleased with himself that he stunned the Viera in adorable silence if his swishing tail was anymore of a visual indication. Taking this moment to flag down a server for a mug of coffee and a small pot of the black tea Krysanthe for herself. Once a coffee set and tea set was obtained, G’raha stirred some cream into his mug as she opened her mouth to speak again.

“Pleasantries a...a...a-and stunningly kind words aside, how have you been G’raha?”

Thus the conversation shifted into a more pleasant tone, with G’raha explaining some of the progress of rebuilding the Students with Krile, the commissions given and completed, and the near endless comings and goings from the Noumenon for various tomes and research notes. Krysanthe smiled and listened intently, her leporidaen ears perking up at his research.

“If you and Krile e-e...ever need h...h-help, you know you can call me right?”

“No, we wouldn’t want to take up your time with mountains of research notes,” G’raha hummed as he took a sip from his mug, “I said we’d let you know if any interesting commissions would come up and I meant it.”

“Trust me, spending an entire day in the Noumenon stacks would be leagues more entertaining than what I’m doing now.”

“Surely the leisurely days of the savior of the star aren’t that dull?”

The two smiled at each other, but Krysanthe’s didn’t reach her eyes. G’raha’s smile faded to a worried frown, tentatively reaching his hand over to hers. When she didn’t flinch away, he placed his hand over hers.

“Dull is… one word for it.”

“Krysanthe, you can tell me if something is ailing you,” his ruby eyes pleaded as his fingers laced with hers as she started to pull away, “I once said that you needn’t carry your burdens alone. I meant it then, and I mean it now. Let me share your burdens, tell me what’s causing the pain behind your eyes.”

If this doesn’t convince you that he’d love you, nothing will.There was no snark, no teasing; a matter of fact statement from that spark of darkness as Krysanthe lowered her gaze to her cup.

Her breath was shaky as she felt the weight of his words. There was no doubt that G’raha meant the words he spoke, there was no doubt that he would do everything in his power to help her. She bit her lip to help keep herself together, but the familiar sting of tears in her eyes was breaking her shield.

“This wasn’t how today was s...su-supposed to go,” Krysanthe’s voice cracked as her hand pulled away from G’raha’s dabbing away her tears before gulping down her tea to help steady her nerves bur her wavering tone and stuttering gave her away, “Th… Th-This was supposed to be f-f...f-fun. A day where we w...w… were supposed to rest, and relax. For us to just be people. And I ruined it, I’m ruining it by being a-a broken f-f...fucking mess. I’m sorry… G-G’raha I’m so s-so...sorry.”

Standing up suddenly, Krysanthe moved to leave her table and her friend. Hiding her now-tear stained eyes behind her curls, she grabbed her shawl, the roses, and moved past G’raha. What she didn’t expect was his hand grasping hers, gentle but firm. She couldn’t read his expression, but the grasp stayed as he to stood and led them away from the cafe at a hurried pace. Past the aetheryte plaza, past the annex he lead, until there was a small clearing by a cliff-side. She’s been here before, usually sitting here when she just needed some time alone when the Scions first came to Sharlayan. The silence made seconds feel like eternities as fear slowly sank into her chest. G’raha hadn’t turned to face her yet, but she braced herself when she heard him exhale and speak.

“Forgive me for this sudden change of scenery,” he spoke, “But I would rather you hear these words away from wayward listening ears.”

His voice was low, but certain and clear in cadence, reminiscent of when he had to dredge up the mannerisms remnant of when he was the Exarch, shouldering the hopes of Norvrandt all those centuries ago. Turning towards her, his expression was soft and earnest, but there was a glint of something that she couldn’t perceive. She opened her mouth to protest but a look from him kept her words back.

“Please, let me say my piece,” he stated before starting, “You have bared the burdens of this star and countless others, you have carried all of your hopes to the edge of creation and it was those hopes that brought you back to us. I’ve known no truer friend, nor inspiration, than you. ‘A broken fucking mess’ is the last phrase one would ever use to describe you, and I suggest you never call yourself that in my presence again.”

“B...b-but…”

“No, I shall not hear those self-degrading words from the one I love dearly!”

Like a broken dam, Krysanthe’s eyes widened as tears started flowing down her cheeks, letting G’raha’s words sink in. “How… h-how long have y-y… y-you…?”

“Since the Crystal Tower,” G’raha spoke earnestly as he stepped closer and clasped her hands in his, “Since I thought I would never see you again once the doors of the tower were sealed behind me. Your actions and deeds were my inspiration, but youkept me afloat. The moment Lyna brought you to the Occular, I wanted to tell you everything. My plans, my feelings, I wanted to tell you it all. But I had to keep to my role, at least until everything was saved, and we won. I’ve wanted to tell you what lies in my heart for so long, but I’ve never felt worthy. I would have been happy being at your side, your steadfast friend as we explored what the world we’ve saved; one grand adventure after another. However, I’m not wont to live with regrets. So this I will say to you, and will repeat however many times until its truth is engraved in your heart.”

Krysanthe felt her knees buckle from the weight of his words, and if G’raha wasn’t holding her steady, she would’ve collapsed onto the grass. A small but saddened smile graced his features as his hand moved to her cheeks, gently wiping away the tear-stained trails.

“Krysanthe, I love you. I love all of you; tears, scars, pain and all. I shall not flinch from your dark days, nor am I only here to bask in your light. To be by your side, to be your cherished partner would be one of many of mine dreams come true. How long I’ve waited to tell you of these feelings mine, the yearnings and wishes of an old soul in this young body. You need not answer me now, nor even in the coming days, just know that shall be at your side for the rest of my days, if you decide to accept the rambling confession of a lovesick scholar.”

The tears fell freely from Krysanthe’s eyes, the bouquet fallen along with she to her knees. The Viera hugged herself as she sobbed, not even pulling away as G’raha pulled her into his arms, letting her cry for as long as she needed. Through her tears and hiccups, she explained her sorrows since the Endsinger was silenced, her wallowing self-worth leading her to not leave her home until recently. Quietly he listened, stroking her curls and wiping her cheeks until the last tears fall.

“My brave, beloved Warrior… how heavy your burden has been…” he sighed into her hair as he gazed down at her. Her crying eventually gave ways to heaves and sniffles. He held her in a gentle hug, stroking her hair until she stood up and wiped her eyes once more.

“Oh no, I got y-y...y...your vest all covered in snot…”

“It’s ok, it’s nothing that can’t be cleaned,” G’raha shook his head as his ears perked slightly, looking up at her. “Would I be remiss in asking if you feel slightly better?”

“No… no, in fact, I do feel better,” she responded with a small smile that reached her post-crying eyes and a clear voice, “Feel a little lighter, like some of the weight is knocked off.”

“Full glad I am to hear that, my love,” G’raha beamed at her before being aware of his words, wringing his hands lightly, “Ah, I mean—if you…”

He took a breath to compose himself. “You do not have to answer my confession. You are under no pressure to respond, it’s enough that you know how I feel.”

Krysanthe was quiet for a moment, taking in his confession, the way she broke and he managed to help hold her together, and even her own feelings that she’d held on to for so long. After letting out a breath, she smiled and worried the edges of her sleeves before she spoke.

By the Fury just kiss him already! Do it! Just do it!! She could practically hear the screaming in the back of her consciousness.

“I… y-you know I’m not the best with words, but I hope this is enough of an answer.”

Holding G’raha’s hands in her faint trembling ones, Krysanthe leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips. She pulled away to see a stunned look, his eyes dilated in shock and joy as he returned with his own kiss, that Krysanthe reciprocated. It was gentle, tentative, like both weren’t sure how far to go yet. But once they parted, they found themselves laughing. Genuine joy rippled between them more as G’raha’s tail wrapped around her waist and their foreheads touched.

“Some date this was,” Krysanthe shook her head as G’raha’s thumbed rubbed against the top of her hands.

“I dunno, I thought it went rather well,” he beamed with a cheeky grin, the tip of his tail swishing happily.

“Are we assuming there will be a second one?,” Krysanthe murmured sweetly before her eyes widened in sudden realization, “Ah! I forgot to pay for our drinks!”

~*~

A hand-holding walk, awkward apologies to Dickon, and one paid cafe tab later, the pair was sitting on a bench in Scholar’s Harbor. Hands laced together and G’raha’s head resting on Krysanthe’s shoulder the two felt at peace, the skies clear and the seas lapping against Sharlayan’s coasts. The two looked and felt at peace, basking in the sea breeze and the gentleness of the day. Glancing at her with a lazy smile, G’raha asked a single question.