#kru-studies

31.12.2019 || I must admit, 2019 has been a tough year. There has been some precious moments, and a heart full of happiness, but it has been a difficult year.

13.04.2020 || We are in the middle of a pandemic. We are in the middle of a lockdown. We are in the middle of a silent war. My profession and all those who I work with have been thrusted to the frontline of this battle.

Yet, as I can no longer carry out my training, my daily learning, I have internally berated myself for not being more productive. For not being able to go through lectures and notes. For not making fun cooking videos or dancing tiktoks. For not doing daily yoga or meditation.

But, this weekend I started to change my mindset. 

I got rid of my mental do-to list that I was failing everyday. A to-do list that I automatically create. And I have done since my school days. A to-do list that lives with me. 

I chipped away at the pressure I was quietly putting on myself. And I said it is okay to waste days away doing nothing. It was okay procrastinating on instagram or re-watching old movies. It was okay whiling away my time looking at comics online or scrolling through reams of facebook videos.

From that acceptance, grew a little spark. A spark that help me start embroidery and reconnect with a long lost passion of mine; drawing.

And now, instead of feeling guilty for not studying or being productive, I am learning to celebrate the progress I make on my creative pursuits. No matter how small they are. Whether it is a few stitches or a few strokes. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.

With that, I hope it resets my brain, so I can feel a little more fresh to fight the Covid fight each day- whether it be on the wards or at home. 

Each fight counts guys!

01.04.18 || It’s easy to talk about our successes as though there were no failures. But that’s only half of the story. Today I’m posting about my failure. I didn’t pass my exam. And I felt like crap. I felt sorry for myself and I felt angry for not passing despite working so hard. I felt like I deserved to pass and so not doing so hurt twice as hard.

But me failing made me hungry. Hungry to do better and be better. For what are we if not the journey that our failures take us upon!

Let them fall,

These burning tears of gold.

Let them scatter,

Like shards of withered ember.

Let them fall,

Like a hazy shower of torn sun.

Let them dance,

To the silent songs of the wind.

Let them fall,

Unmasking the arms that once held them tall.

Let them show,

The wooden needles standing in solemn prayer.

Let them fall,

Into the arms of the cool crisp air.

Let them lose themselves

In the thrill of the flight .