#krow thoughts

queer describes who someone is in relation to everyone else.

queer means different, it means i’m not what society expects me to be, it means i’m not the majority.

so when i talk about queer people or the queer community, i’m generally talking about the people who deviate from the heterostatusquo as a whole.

or maybe not deviate so much as rebel.

i understand that not all people under the rainbow umbrella want to be politicized and i completely respect that. i understand that for a lot of you, it’s not a rebellion, it’s just your life. so know that when i talk about queer concepts, i’m talking about the political side of it, and i’m not talking about all of the people who just want to live their life and love who they love and be who they are.

He doesn’t trust you with scissors and so he has to cut the pattern into the fabric for you, and it’s only then does he notice what that plan is. It’s very familiar, especially the fabric for the clothes, that a very similar teal to his own sweater he’s wearing.

But he doesn’t say anything. He does not let anything out to say that he knows, even if it’s obvious.

He doesn’t want to rub you the wrong way, especially if he’s starting to grow on you. Doesn’t know what you’re planning to do with the doll, but if you’re putting in enough effort into something that looks like him, that’s enough for him.

Because it’s abandoned and not acknowledged he doesn’t have to pay taxes for it; which helps him out a lot, aside that there is no legal problems of it getting repossessed as long as it’s not noticed and until there is a problem with it getting possessed by someone else I don’t think he’ll say anything.

If he does end up owning it he is definitely going to be lying about how many rooms there is and what they’re used for and if they’re finished or not for tax purposes.

Secret rooms definitely not reported because secret rooms are good for like-secrets also it would be expensive and also he doesn’t have time to search on every single thing that would be on his property.

I don’t think he even sorted through everything in the house, just a good portion of the role are clean but not organized and there are simply coverings for dust, and all those doors are locked. He only does regular maintenance in the rooms he’s doing or if there is a potential problem that cause issues across the home, like a gas leak. Not sure what he’s doing for heating and blocking other parts of the house for heat, through blocking the vents. But I also imagine he doesn’t use it that much and just prefers to put more layers of clothing on. It’s never too cold anyway to need a lot of heating.

Not 100% if he’ll get another home, later if he plans to start a family with dove or he’ll just move on with dove in their home. Lots of things he’ll have to work out through, because this style of living may be okay for him right now but not be the best shared. Questionable for shared and not really best for kids if they’re going to be pretty isolated from their community, and don’t have that well of transportation. It’s probabaly fine enough, like it connects to a main road eventually like it was a cover up establishment yeah, but people had to get there somehow. Not even sure where his closest neighbours are tbh. Like if no one lives there period after what people found o it about the house then yeah it’s gonna probably suck.

If he died in his sleep you would never know and it’s frightens you, you wish you had a heartbeat to something to go off of but it’s just static and the wind rattling the windows.

Sometimes there is the birds chirping to let you know what time of day it is and he should be up soon, and you pray to god he wakes up. If he takes too long it fills you with so much worry but alas—

He gets up. He gets up and rises, and you hate yourself up for being so worried for this man you hate. But you can’t help it.

And just he locked house in the cage, but you made the request to have a walkie talkie or a baby monitor or something so you can still check up on him.

Because there is the terror that if he never comes back or if something happens to him, you are locked in there forever and no one will come find you.

Beginning to grow vegetables when spring comes on a warm cloudy day. Having a small nursery to begin growing sprouts before putting them in the soil outside. Checking up on them and nurturing them as the days go on. Watching as the fruit trees start to blossom with sweet smelling flowers.

The pure stamina of Krow. To carry, lift, squat, and sit again and again as you go through the plants together. Krow carrying pots as bags of soil and fertilizer as if it’s nothing. He is working up a sweat though under the hot sun, he keeps his layers on to avoid sunburn but somehow his sleeves find themselves rolled up leaving his forearms to breathe. His shirt is damp in the pits and chest, he wipes the moisture off his brows and takes a deep breath. It’s time to take a break and have a drink. It’s good to give your poor muscles a break as well and perhaps lay down under a shaded tree, as the breeze outside cools you.

Perhaps you can have some lemonade or some cool minty water. The fridge in Krows house is old, and so is the freezer. The ice cubes have that sort of flavor that comes with being in the freezer. You’re not sure how to describe it, but it’s nostalgic, it reminds you of freezer pops children used to eat. Like during summer school events or in a friends house when visiting. It was nice. You sometimes wonder how school was for Krow, he’s doesn’t open up too much about it, he’s— vague. But you don’t want to press.

Coming back in the morning once in a while to check the plants to see their growth and check to see if any pests or illnesses have got to them.

It’s sad when some of your plants aren’t doing so well, especially if you’ve put a lot of care not them. But the pride you feel for the plants flourishing.

Irs only a matter of time until summer and when you can begin harvesting them. You hope you grow many tomatoes, seeing how much Krow loves them. It’ll take a while to preserve them, but in the mean time you can have so many fresh summer salads and fruit juice in the mean time.