Her only escape from all of the pain, was the man sketched man, inside of the mahogany framed picture that she hugged to her chest. The door to her Silvermoon office was closed, with her back pressed against it. Tears cascaded down her cheeks like a waterfall gone berserk. Panting breaths that sounded a whole lot like wheezing came in and out of her in quick inhales and exhales, forehead buried into her forearms as the picture was sandwiched.Β
Β βIt all hurts so much, Symmy. I thought that I could do this, I really did. I thought that I could work, and push through the pain of losing two sons at the same time-- I cannot. All I want to do is get into bad habits. To drink, to smoke, to go to concerts that riots with music that is louder than my thoughts. I cannot, do this.β She pulled back, looking down at the once polished glass; now imperfect by her barrage of tears.Β
Β βHow.. How do I do this? How do you do it, Symmy? You are the strongest, and most terrifying person that I know. How do you do it? How do you stand so tall, radiant, and wonderful? I am.. quite literally in my office, crying to myself, and talking to a picture of you, because you are too far away for me to go to right now.β She half-chuckled, sniffling with a goofy smile.Β
Β βI really am silly. Ahah, I suppose you no longer have to worry about me asking you to visit me at the Hall of Blood anymore. The whole,Β βthe Light abandoned me,β shindig annihilated that, real quick!β The forced laughter and smiles quickly faded back into brutal tears and jagged breaths.Β βIβve lost both of my sonβs, at the same time. One called to me, and I failed. The other is simply gone, and I have failed to figure out where he is yet. The one who called, was killed before my eyes-- how.. How could I have been so WEAK, Symmaril?! How? What do you see in me, because I see nothing but a mess of a woman. How, of all people, was I the person to give you back your light?βΒ
Finally, Phaeith rose to her feet and made her way over to her chair. Still, Symmarilβs picture was in hand.Β βI.. I can do this. I can do this for you, I can do this for the House, for Kr-.. Krossie, and for Lucian.. I can do this for myself. I got this! I.. I got this!β She set the frame back onto her desk, dropping her head into the palms of her hands as a wave of tranquility and calm over-washed her exhausted form.Β βIf I have done anything right in my life, it was when I gave my heart to you.β Is all she whispered, before drying her face of any tears. With that, an influx of people began to crowd her room, telling her their complaints of the City, or anything else, really. This was her life. Once more, her feelings were swallowed into the void..
(( @symmarilshatterunwra - @sassyfireexpertthing ))
