#kronie

Let me give you a little background info. There's this kid I know whose name is Michael, but I call him "Kronie" as a nickname. (also because 'crony' is usually used as a derogatory term for corporate bullshit blah blah blah) So he's clueless. He's an asshole. He's REALLY arrogant. He takes every AP class that he can just because he can. Then he demands to get As in those classes, then takes the AP tests and never shuts up about them. He constantly compares scores and grades to other kids, and cheers in their faces when he's done better than they have. He's incredibly awkward, and as such, is a really easy target. He usually pretends that he doesn't get it when he's targeted, trying to cover his ass so he doesn't look stupid. If you catch him giving a wrong answer in an academic arena, he'll defend it until his face turns blue, and then claim that YOU misunderstood HIM. If it's a joke he doesn't get, he'll pretend he DOES get it, and then when you say, "Dude, you don't get it, do you?" he'll get defensive and shit. When he finally understands it, he'll say he was PRETENDING to not understand it as ANOTHER joke. If it's something more subjective, like interpreting a piece of literature, it's HIS answer, or NO answer. He thinks the only interpretation is the one that HE thought of--and if we're going to be technical, here, he's usually wrong, as it concerns the actual intended meaning by the author. He can't think like that, he doesn't understand the abstract, and he's basically an idiot in some respects. I've known him for six years, now. We've had rough patches, but we've never been close, and I've never been really hostile towards him. Although I really do have very little patience for him... The point is, he's generally a nice guy, but his entire world revolves around academic competitions that he fabricates himself, and lives out in his own head. That's the problem. SO Here's the meat of the story: We all got our AP scores in the mail for the tests that we took this past May. I took the Language and Composition exam, and the Calculus AB exam. I didn't post much of anything about it except on deviantART, and I mentioned my scores under a 'read more' cut offhandedly on here some time last night. Well, yesterday, here's what Kronie did: Posted a public message on Facebook about his scores. "Fives on Calc, Lang, and APES!" APES is AP Environmental Science. Optional course.

He wasn't the only one to do so. Two other people I'm "friends" with on Facebook did the same thing, both of them ALSO in possession of sensitive egos (and one of them was his girlfriend). Well, having seen the tons of messages about AP scores, my absolute best friend Becca (who is a genius and positively lovely, and I salute her) posted this: "Got a 6 on my AP Lang and Comp exam!" The joke is that it's impossible to get a 6 on the exam (the highest score is a 5), and she thus mocked everyone who'd posted their scores (all of 5s) publicly on Facebook. I commented and said, "Congrats! I did, too! *slow mo high five*" Not much else happened, several people 'liked' the status, etc. And then Kronie saw it. His comment was, "6? Lol"  Seconds after I saw his post and messaged Becca about it (we were currently talking over Facebook because she can't text at the mo' and this really isn't important), HE FUCKING TEXTS ME. Now, THIS is what I'm proud of. This text conversation, typed verbatim below. Enjoy. 

Him: This is Michael btw. 6 on the aplc exam?? lol

Me: 'twas a joke. lol

Him: Gotcha haha. Hannah and I both got 5's as well. Do u know anybody else? And well done! Seriously haha

Me: Yeah I know you guys got 5s, man. I did, too. But I didn't post anything on Facebook about it because I knew other people might not have gotten those scores. So, no, I don't know anyone else's scores because I haven't asked.

Him: I know, but my relatives would call me off the hook unless I posted something. And you know me, gotta make it funny or interesting.

Me: My mum posted it on Facebook so relatives could see. And yep. Thanks, and well done. Him: My parents dont have fb haha, and I dont use it very much. Are you taking lit next year?

Me: Yeah I am.

Him: Sweet

/END CONVERSATION Here are a few points that I'd like to make.

I can tell you right now the reason he texted me: He was terrified that it was actually possible to get a 6 on the AP exam, and he had only gotten a 5. 

When he says "Gotcha" he means to imply that he was pretending to not understand as another joke. Ironically, by saying "gotcha" he makes himself look like even more of a twat. 

He ASSUMED I'd gotten a 5 on the exam because I joked about getting a 6. Meanwhile, I haven't posted ANYTHING about my scores on Facebook. Why?Because I'm not a prick.

Just because he wanted his relatives to see doesn't mean he had to announce the news where his FRIENDS could see, friends who might've done worse than him. (EMAIL ANYONE?!)

"lit" is AP Literature. I'm taking the class next year because I actually enjoy literature, language, and writing. He does not. He cannot interpret Dr. Seuss worth a fuck. His writing is clinical and yet still somehow incomprehensible, as far as eloquence goes. Which is why I'm REALLY pissed off that he got a 5 on the AP Language and Composition exam. 

Someone actually DID comment on his status saying exactly what I feared would happen: " -___- I hate you. I did horrible." I'm going by memory, but that's the general idea.