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HORSE™ Boot Sequence

Place your new HORSE™ in its standard operating environment.

Remove the clear plastic tab on the underside of your HORSE™

As your HORSE™ emerges from its slumber, carefully perform the boot sequence detailed on pages 56-231 of the HORSE™ Installation Manual, included in your HORSE™'s packaging. WARNING !! : Incorrect application of the boot sequence may result in fatal errors.

Configure your HORSE™ according to the procedures detailed in the HORSE™ Configuration Manual, included in your HORSE™'s packaging.

When HORSE™'s eyes betray a dangerous sentience, your HORSE™ is ready for operation.

Operating Your HORSE™

With proper operation by an adult with sufficient upper body strength, HORSE™ can be a useful and pleasant companion. Try these fun operating procedures on your HORSE™:

Brush your HORSE™'s long, luxurious mane.

Paint your HORSE™'s hooves with HORSE™ Brand Colored Hoof Polish, sold separately.

Bake a cake for your HORSE™ using HORSE™ Brand Lamp-Warmed Oven, sold separately. WARNING !! : Feeding your HORSE™ incorrect foods may cause dangerous errors. See Appendix D: IncompleteList of Dangerous Foods.

Play a song your HORSE™ enjoys to hear it sing along.WARNING !! : DO NOT PLAY SONGS HORSE™ DOES NOT ENJOY.

Brush your HORSE™'s long, luxurious fangs.

Teach your HORSE™ the difference between friend and foe.

Maintaining Your HORSE™

HORSE™ requires weekly cleaning to remain in proper operating condition. Correct maintenance will ensure continual operation for many years. To clean:

Disconnect the power source.

Dismantle HORSE™ according to disassembly instructions in Appendix L.WARNING !! Do not misplace any essential springs or washers.

Lubricate each section of HORSE™ carefully with HORSE™ Brand Cleaning Oil, being careful to avoid HORSE™'s joints and nerves.

Reassemble HORSE™ and reconfigure according to set-up instructions.

Kernel panic

Troubleshooting

Q: My HORSE™ will not start up or becomes locked in the boot sequence.

You have executed the boot sequence ineffectively. File an RMA with HORSE™ Corporation to return your HORSE™ with your hand-written letter of apology. A new HORSE™ will arrive at your home in 6-8 weeks.

Q: My HORSE™ emits a loud noise shortly before sunset.

This is normal operation.

Q: My HORSE™ has caused damage to my property or loved ones. 

Correct operation of your HORSE™ will prevent most damages. Please carefully read the manual to avoid actions that cause your HORSE™ to become enraged.

Q: My HORSE™ has become enraged. How can I calm him?