#kotting

Swandown (Kotting, 2012)

Synopsis: Two men voyage hundreds of miles on a swan-shaped pedalo from Hastings, on the South coast of the UK, to Stratford, the home of the London 2012 Olympics.

* The film should belong, or seem to belong, to the earth.

* The film-makers should use only natural light or, at night, sun-gun light.

* The film should show signs of the berserk or slightly psychotic, an attempt to reflect the human condition.

* All director's statements should include something of worth - a recipe, instructions on how to make furniture.

* Only the director to handle dead animals and the inner parts of dead animals.

* The local community should always be involved.

* All hand-held, off-ground filming to be undertaken by the director.

* Any wounds or injuries sustained on set to be dressed on set, so the production is not kept hanging about.

* All film-makers to have spent time with their arms or feet inside another sentient being, alive or dead.

* The editing process should be as sculptural as possible: edit lists ignored, sound treated with same respect as picture.

* The director should dig like an archaeologist to get to the heart of the matter.

* The shoot should prove a physical, athletic challenge, not just an aesthetic one.

* Special effects are only to be used if they are special.

* Actors to perform their own stunts, apart from difficult full-body contact sequences, in which case the director should act as the stand-in.

* Wherever possible, all journeys on and around set should be made on foot.