#kopixel

Starting to ship Ko/Pixel, and I'm already thinking about it. Ko who sees Pixel as redemption for the girl she couldn't save. Who sees Pixel as a way to redeem herself after she lost the first one. Who puts all this pressure on herself to be perfect for Pixel to prove that leaving was worth it.

Pixel who still makes mistakes and has a hard time sometimes because that kind of abuse and manipulation and conditioning doesn't just go away when you kill your abuser. Pixel who still sometimes misses the security of Mr. W, even though she's realized how horrible he really was. Who sometimes misses the the predictability and routine of her old life and the simplicity of her dreams and the path she has to attain them. Who still, deep down, clings to the dream of being a Star even though she left that life behind. Who feel like missing that life and mourning what she almost had but that never really was is a betrayal to Ko, who is so, so proud of her for leaving and gets hope from Pixel's presence everyday.

Any way I rewatched the ending of Ep. 6 again and cried. Found family gets me every time I can't deal with this I love them so much they are all so cute and aldjjsjdjskksjfjrjjfjfjskkalairjndbfb I love them.

And the difference between them all; with Ko getting mad when Pixel leaves, just another person she can't save vs Pyke who doesn't want this for Pixel but sees that she has to make her own choices vs Rett who wants her to stay, but, failing that, ensures that she can protect herself with the syringe of poison vs Ziggy who just will miss her and gives her a big hug and follows her social media and gives her instructions to remove the microphones from her belongings as an apology and promises to keep in touch.

And then how this goes back to each of their characters and how they react to loss, where Ko has a hard time accepting the that she can't help everyone (and leaves and avoids the issue instead of facing it) (and sees it as her failing) vs Pyke and Rett who know that they can't help everyone and have accepted that but still make sure that Pixel knows that they always have a spot for her on the rhapsody and do everything they can to make it so that she can help herself vs Ziggy, who still hasn't lost many people, who still holds onto hope and his friends and promises to keep in touch because he isn't ready to let go.

And then when she comes back AKFNNSFNMS Pyke and Rett like 'holy shit that is a man's finger let's just get that inside' and then the happy Ziggy hug and then Ko crying and having Hope because Pix could do it so that means that it's possible. And then Pyke asking Rett who should make breakfast was so married/long term partner of them idk I just love domestic Pykerett. And then Rett with his My Digi Diary but it's a "Captain's log" bc he's cool like that.