Soon, power will be a bore. It's pretty obvious that you want more than what you've been saying to yourself. Yet if you just let your mind be corrupted thinking that power's the only thing that's important. Then there's no point of living, even in hell. There is so much more you can see, hear, feel, believe. Yet you chose power. It's something you could learn. How to be this powerful person you are so obsessed with, and also be happy. Smiles could also be taught so dont pull that bullshit.
I do believe your false thoughts are going straight to your ego. Allow me to take you down a few notches.
You know nothing of my past life, nor my beginnings in hell. You do not understand what I desire, nor what brings me joy. You've begun to sound like charlie, and niffty, even vaggie in telling me what I should do to become truly happy. And /none/ of you understand what truly gives me happiness.
None of you understand the things in my life I have gone through to get to this moment. None of you understand the underlying motives and fears behind what I do. And if you insist on trying to force me to do such things, I don't believe I'll ever gain the trust nor faith to tell you all like I once believed I might be able to.
I have all that I want except him in my life. I work entirely alone in my endeavors. who needs friends who needs love you didnt earn it you dont deserve it. So kindly leave your opinions at the door, and speak only things you're knowledgeable about. never ask for help never show weakness power independence