#koki writes

Seungmin [cuteness aggression]

I.N [bubble fights]

tag list : @kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @keepswingin @imagine-all-the-imagines @karlee10261990

Changbin [inside voice]

Hyunjin [hopeless romantic]

You love these moments with him. The days you can relax and not have to worry about his career. Worry about him leaving before you wake up. Or coming home after you’ve gone to bed. For today, he’s all yours. 

You scoot closer to him, leaning into his side, his arm finding its way around your shoulders, as the two of you enjoy your snow cones and the calm that feels like it’s too good to be true.

There’s no need to rush, just like the rest of the day. But even still, the two of you had a hard time keeping your hands off each other. 

The moment you stepped through the front door, Chan had you pinned against it, his kisses hungry and desperate. His hands gripped your hips like he might die if he lets you go. 

“I want to savor you,” he whispered against your lips. “Let’s lay in the bed, yeah?”

You didn’t deny him then, just like you don’t deny him now. 

It’s a blur of kisses and peeling off clothing. Strong arms lifting you off your feet and your legs wrapping around his hips. Lips and teeth and noses bumping. 

He lays you down so gently even though his hands are insistent, exploring the familiar territory of your curves. You pull him closer, craving the feeling of his weight on top of you. Neither of you let go, your hands slide across his jaw, mouth moving with the intent to devour. 

The sudden burst of your ringtone startles you, instinctively you start to sit up but Chan doesn’t move. One hand comes up to tuck your hair behind your ear before cradling your neck. 

“Let it go this time,” he says, leaning back in to capture your lips again. 

You don’t fight it, relaxing into his touch. The ringer cuts off as it sends the caller to your voicemail and you expect it to be the end of it. But then the incessant dings of texts start piling in. Just before another call starts to come through. 

You pull back and Chan is looking back at you, just as confused as you feel. Something has to be wrong for your phone to be blowing up like this. You’re quick to push on Chan’s chest for him to roll off you. He doesn’t fight this time. Hurrying off the bed, you grab your phone out of your discarded purse. 

Your face goes pale the moment you see your screen; missed texts from the other members, frantic all cap typing, big letters asking ‘WHERE THE HELL IS CHAN?!’

He sees your reaction and is immediately at your side. “Is something wrong?” He asks worriedly. 

You turn the phone to show him but Felix’s name pops up for another call instead. Chan takes it from your hand and lifts it to his ear. “Is someone dying? Someone better be dying,” Chan huffs. 

“No, but you might be later! Why aren’t you here yet?!” Felix demands. Chan frowns at his tone.

“Here? I’m at home today. Why? Aren’t you?” Chan questions.

“WHAT?!” He has to pull the phone away from his ear with how loudly Felix yells. “Where the hell did you leave your phone! I know you would’ve set reminders!” 

“I accidentally left it at the studio last night!” He says, patience is starting to run thin.

“How could you forget! This is insane!” Felix laughs in disbelief.

“Tell me what’s going on! Now!” Chan shouts in annoyance. 

“We have the Golden Disk Awards, Chan! And you should have been here over an hour ago!”

Chan goes ridged, all the color draining from his face as the realization hits him. Lucky for him, you had caught a few of the texts before your phone was stolen from you. You appear next to him with something, anything, for him to wear. 

“I’ll be there in 10,” he says flatly before ending the call.

As he takes the shirt and shorts out of your hands, he plants a swift kiss to your forehead. “I’m so sorry I have to run,” he apologizes but you silence him with a kiss on his lips, hands framing his face so he looks at you. 

“No time for that. Get going so STAY aren’t disappointed,” you tell him with a smile. The one he returns is bright and mischievous. He pecks your lips again before throwing on his clothes and sprinting like a madman towards the door, shouting promises to make it up to you and not forgetting an ‘I love you’ before he’s gone.

Chan is running towards the doors of the company just as the rest of the members are starting to walk out to the awaiting cars to head to the event. All of them look stylish and put together while Chan’s hair is messy and he looks like he just got dressed in the dark. A decent looking black button down, which half the buttons still weren’t actually buttoned, and an old pair of gym shorts that, if he’s honest, he doesn’t know if they’re actually clean or not.

“You look rough,” Seungmin snickers, a few of the other members trying to cover up their own chuckles at the comment. 

“Shut it,” Chan snaps, face red from embarrassment and guilt.

Any attitude he might have thrown back at his friends vanishes when their manager comes barreling towards him. He scolds Chan the entire way to the van, all Chan can do is bow and apologize repeatedly as he’s ushered inside, separated from the others. Instead, a hair stylist and makeup artist get shoved in next to him.

The car starts moving but no one worries about buckling seatbelts. He can’t help but mumble, “This can’t be safe,” while trying to tilt his head any way they need to make their lives easier.

The manager is on his phone, talking frantically trying to figure out how they could possibly have him ready in time. “I know, I know! They’re already so late, they’re basically going to be walking straight on stage!” He says with a curse under his breath.

A thought runs through Chan's head, and he decides to pipe up. “What if I just throw on some black pants and change my shirt on stage? I mean, the blocking for the opener wouldn't be that different right?” 

The silence that follows is deafening. The manager looks at him hard for a solid minute, the gears in his mind are almost visible on his features. 

Then he huffs, turning back to face the windshield. "Fine. But only because you insist on stripping on stage half the time anyway.”

Chan makes a shocked and offended noise, but can he really argue?

The award show plays with the volume turned up on your tv. You sit with the big bowl of hot, freshly popped popcorn on the cushion beside you, Chan's oversized hoodie draped over your smaller frame. His cologne clings to the fabric and you don’t hide the greedy whiffs you take on the security of your own couch. 

Your throw blanket that Chan had gotten you for Christmas is slung over your lap. He had gotten it because the dark maroon reminded him of the dress you wore on your first date. You can still remember his face when you walked down the stairs wearing it. He looked at you like you were the one who hung the stars and the moon in the sky that night. The memory makes you smile and snuggle deeper into his hoodie.

You’re nibbling on snacks, listening to the announcers as they talk about ‘what’s to come’ for the show. They mention some of the award categories, musical performances. It’s when “Stray Kids” leaves his mouth that you instinctively lean forward. They’re up next. 

You wait nervously as the commercials play. A million questions and worries running through your mind all at once, the most prominent being, ‘did he make it in time?’

When the screen flips back to the show, you can tell there’s about to be a performance. The camera shooting from the back of the stage. Chan walks into frame and you freeze. 

You recognize that shirt Chan is wearing…and unbuttoning. It’s the same one you’d haphazardly grabbed before basically shoving him out the door. His hair is still slightly messy from where you had run your fingers through it and you can tell he has a little less makeup than usual when he’s on stage. 

“Oh. My. God,” you mutter in shock as you watch your boyfriend strip that button down off and turn to grab a leather vest from one of the background dancers.

He climbs those stairs with his entire back on display, clumsily putting on the vest, then brings the mic to his mouth. He lets out a shout to hype the crowd and you absolutely lose it.

You’re screaming on your couch at the tv, giggling and squealing every time Chan appears looking like he’d just rolled out of your bed.

Because he had.

tag list :

You’re escorted to the green room after the concert is finished by a very sweet staff member. Harin, you find out is her name. The two hit it off, laughing and chatting for the short time it takes to get from the front of the stage to the back.

“Would you like to grab lunch sometime while you’re in town? I know a great little spot that I think you would really like!” Harin asks.

“I would love to!” You agree quickly. “I’m sure I’ll see you around the company sometime this week. Maybe we could try sometime then?”

“Of course! I will keep an eye out for you. I’m sure the sunbaenim-deul will have so much fun showing you around,” she smiles brightly.

The mention of the boys reminds you of your excitement and nerves to see them after your little surprise you pulled. Chan was the only one who knew you were here, let alone about you to attend the concert, and the looks on all the other boys’ faces when they noticed you in front of the stage were priceless.

Chan had planned it perfectly. He picked you up from the airport with the cover of some fib about buying lunch for all of them having a great tour. Which wasn’t really a lie since he did in fact grab lunch for everyone on the way back. He found you a hotel close to the dorms and the company and even hired a chauffeur service to get you to the concert safely. The staff had also been incredibly nice to you, no one seemed annoyed by your added presence. Part of you wonders if that was Chan’s doing as well.

You offer Harin a sweet smile in return. “I’m excited too. Seoul is so beautiful.”

“Mhm, you’re going to love it,” She hums in agreement just as the two of you arrive at the green room door. “Here’s your stop! I’ll see you around!” She says with a respectful bow.

“Thank you Harin,” you reply, mimicking her posture. Her smile is wide as she gives you a wave and encouragingly motions for you to go inside.

You turn to the door, taking a deep breath before quickly pushing the knob before you can chicken out. It swings open, the hinges making the smallest squeak.

Somehow immediately, Seungmin appears and rushes to wrap you in an embrace. You eagerly squeeze him tight in return, the tears you haven’t even thought about pour out the instant his arms close around you.

Somewhere vaguely behind him you think you hear one of the other boys shouting ‘she’s here!’ but you can’t pay them any attention at the moment. Right now, all you can focus on is Seungmin.

The boy who’s plagued your dreams since the day he left Australia. The boy you text every day and night. About anything and everything.

You pull back first, tears still streaming, and you cup his cheeks. His eyes are shining but his smile is face-splitting. “How are you here? When?” He asks. You wipe your cheeks with one of your sleeves.

“My flight landed yesterday,” you say, smiling through the sniffles. “You can thank your fearless leader for making it happen.” Seungmin laughs at that.

“I could kiss him,” he jokes, hands coming up to cup your face. His thumb absentmindedly brushing across your cheek as he leans closer. “But I guess I’ll kiss you instead.” His voice is a whisper with breath fanning over your lips with how close he is now.

He steals another kiss, taking his time with this one, savoring the moment and you don’t deny that you’re craving the contact just as much.

It feels like a breath of fresh air. Something you’ve longed for but couldn’t have no matter how much you wanted. It’s dizzying and perfect, better than you ever could have imagined it’d be.

The moment ends too soon, the pressure of his lips lifting. “I’ll be right back,” he promises under his breath.

Then he was gone.

But you’re only left blinking for a moment before the other members swarm you. Felix being the first to claim a big hug from you. “It’s so crazy that you’re here!” He muses excitedly, only pulling back because another member shoves him aside.

Han, Jeongin, Hyunjin, and even Lee Know takes his turn to give you a squeeze. Changbin hangs back awkwardly, still offering a very happy smile and a respectful bow. You roll your eyes with a heavy, dramatic sigh and force a hug on him too. He doesn’t fight you, tense muscles relaxing as he wraps his arms around your shoulders.

“It’s good to see you’re doing well,” he tells you sincerely.

A laugh bubbles out of you as you pull back. “Yeah, hard to believe that I can handle life without seeing your pretty faces every day!” You jokingly swoon. The boys surrounding you cackle, clapping and giggling, giddy that you made the trip all the way from Australia to see them.

Your eyes search past them further into the room though, just in time to see Seungmin giving a big hug to Chan. Not a forced hug that he usually gets when the other members are teasing him. A genuine one. The kind where Seungmin pulls him in, squeezes him tight, and pats his back.

Chan’s eyes catch yours from over his shoulder. He smiles, expression keen like he knew this would happen and he’s so thrilled about it.

The smile on your face softens with fondness. You excuse yourself from the group and they gladly part like the Red Sea for you, knowing smirks and chuckles follow after you as you quietly make your way over to where Chan and Seungmin are still hugging.

As if sensing you, Seungmin pulls away, Chan’s hands fisting the fabric of his shirt in a teasing ‘I-don’t-wanna-let-go’ gesture. Seungmin’s face scowls with mock annoyance.

He makes a show of wrestling his clothes free, earning a giggle from you that immediately pulls the corners of his lips into a smile. Chan gives him mercy by releasing his playful hold, Seungmin surging forward to wrap his arms around you once again and squeeze you tight. As if he’d been holding his breath and you were the only air to fill his lungs. And you snuggle into the warmth you’ve missed for months.

The two of you are pulled out of your bubble when Felix starts shouting over all of their chatter. “Now it’s really time to celebrate!”

“Yeah!” Han joins in. “Good friends, good show! What else could we ask for?” The rest of the group cheer along as Changbin grabs a champagne bottle off the table and hands the whole thing to Seungmin.

“Pop the first bottle for us, Loverboy!” He teases. Seungmin looks to you, torn between keeping you wrapped in his arms or indulging with everyone and popping the cork for them.

“We have plenty of time,” you assure him, nodding encouragingly for him to go ahead. He relaxes, unwinding his arm from your waist and taking the bottle into both hands.

One keeps a firm grip to stay steady while the other holds the neck, thumb finding a good notch. You spot Jeongin watching proudly and you wonder if he prepped the bottle so he could open it without any tools.

With a little effort, the cork goes flying with a loud POP. Everyone cheers, clapping and laughter erupts in the room. Drinks are being poured and happy chatter fills the empty air.

Your heart is so full, so happy. So blessed to be able to celebrate another amazing show with them.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @chanshugsaretherapy

@palindrome969 @here-to-read-and-read-fics @imagine-all-the-imagines @txnwvc @ravenclawunknown

@4ng3l-ch1ld @sillyhal @lveegsoi @chancloud8 @eeorrrr

You can understand why you weren’t allowed to stay in the dorms with Seungmin. Chan had found you a very generously accommodating room only a block over from them. But you still wish you could have spent the night together.

The memories of waking up in his arms. The sweet tranquility that settled over you when he would whisper ‘I love you’ under the soft light of a new day pouring in from the window. The slow kisses like neither of you had anywhere to be.

Oh, how you’ve missed those mornings.

But you also understand that they need to be careful. If word gets out that you were sleeping in their dorms, that could be career-ending for them. So you agree to no risk of scandal. You’ll do whatever they ask of you to keep a low profile if it means spending time with Seungmin and the others.

Now, you’re sitting in the van that is heading to pick him up for his schedule. He had invited you to join him to vocal practice since he would be so busy but still wanted to see you. Of course, you said yes.

Your knee won’t stay still as the van pulls up to a building and you watch the front door excitedly. You recognize him immediately. Even with his mask and ballcap on, you would recognize him anywhere. A manager, flanking his right side, holds the door for him. As soon as he climbs in, his eyes brighten. He slides in beside you in the very back and tugs off his mask, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your temple before the door is even closed all the way.

“I missed you,” he whispers. Your heart flutters at the notion.

“You saw me less than 8 hours ago,” you tease, leaning into his side in contrast to your words. He chuckles, fingers finding a lock of your hair to curl around.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s already been too long,” he counters.

It’s not a long drive to the studio he’ll be practicing at. Too short for your liking, if you’re honest. He steals a kiss before fixing his mask back onto his face.

“The van is gonna pull around to the back of the building so you can come inside,” he tells you like it’s already been decided. He’s still talking about his manager meeting you at the door and leading you to where he will be but your stomach is turning into knots.

The sound of it all, being said out loud, makes you feel icky. Like you’re some dirty little secret that he’s ashamed to be seen in public with. But this is what it takes, right? To be an Idol’s girlfriend? This is what you were signing up for. What you agreed to just to keep his image clean.

You put on your best smile and nod in agreement. If he notices your reluctance, he doesn’t say anything about it. Just slips out of the van as if you weren’t even there.

~*~

By the time you reach his practice room, your mood is already completely sour. It took fifteen minutes just to pull around the back of the building and then you could only use the elevator to the sixth floor when you needed to get to the eighth. All because they thought it would be suspicious if someone saw you exit the elevator on the same floor as him? You start thinking that maybe they’re getting a little too carried away with the whole cautious thing.

Climbing two flights of stairs shouldn’t have made you sweat as much as it did but it felt like the air was stagnant, zero air movement and just enough stairs to make your legs burn.

You finally walk into the practice room and no one even acknowledges that you arrived. The instructor is speaking in fast Korean that you can’t follow while Seungmin listens, focused and nodding in understanding. Then, the instructor would play a string of cords for Seungmin to sing along with.

Feeling awkward and out of place here, you find a spot on the small loveseat in the corner. It’s covered with a coat from last season, books on music theory, and sheet music that doesn’t look like it’s been touched in weeks. You carefully stack the papers and books to one side and sit down.

If you close your eyes, you can pretend you don’t feel like you’re intruding on his lesson. His voice is beautiful and strong, a talent easily recognized. You could listen to him sing all day long. But every time you started to relax, he would be interrupted by the instructor, and there would be more rapid discussions that you couldn’t translate.

All it did was make you more tense. It goes on like that for a painfully long fifteen minutes before he walks over to you for a break. His smile is so bright when he greets you again.

“I’m so happy you’re here, Y/N,” he says, propping himself on the arm of the loveseat since the pile of stuff is still covering the spot beside you. You offer a tight smile that he doesn’t seem to notice, taking a big slug of water instead of mentioning it.

“Your voice sounds great!” You decide to deflect. He shrugs in response.

“Meh, my instructor keeps telling me that I’m not projecting from my diaphragm enough. I need to keep practicing or I might start slipping,” he pauses as if his brain were working then his eyes widen a fraction. “If I don’t work harder, we could lose everything! I can’t let the members down!” The panicked look he has makes you laugh.

“You could never let them down. You all lean on each other but that also means they’d be there for you if you make a mistake,” you say, placing a hand over his that he’s leaning on. “Besides, you’re human. Humans make mistakes sometimes. And that’s ok.”

He smiles, sighing out a laugh before bending down until your lips are barely an inch apart. “Not in my line of work,” he says like it’s a joke, quickly pecks your lips, then takes another swig of water before hopping to his feet. “Gotta get back to work! I’ll come back for another break soon, okay?” He doesn’t wait for your answer.

His actions felt like a slap to the face. You stare at his back, striding back to practice like nothing happened, with a slack jaw and wounded chest. You were trying to comfort him but he brushed you off so easily.

You sit there stiffly, feeling even more awkward and uncomfortable now that you realize what it means to accompany him to his schedules. The ache in your chest tightens and your stomach suddenly feels completely empty. Not from hunger but from dread. Just thinking about the rest of the trip and how you’re invading his work.

Surprising him was a mistake.

~*~

Leaving his vocal practice was worse than arriving. You were left sitting in the room uneasily with the vocal coach, who already didn’t seem happy that you were there in the first place, before a manager came back five minutes later to tell you to take the stairs to the back door. You went down the full eight flights of stairs since no one specified if you were allowed to take the elevator at all this time.

And then you weren’t even getting to your hotel in the same car as him! They hired the equivalent of an Uber to get you there instead!

You walked into your hotel room, dropped your bag, and kicked off your shoes by the door before dragging yourself to plop down on the bed, eyes stinging no matter how badly you tried not to let any of it bother you. Was this really how it was supposed to be? Why would Chan give you the hope of spending time with them if they were just going to keep you separate and they would be busy the whole time?

Suddenly, your phone buzzed insistently in your pocket. You let out a huff as you dig it out, seeing a familiar contact picture lighting up your screen. There’s a moment of hesitation, a second that you debate on letting it go to voicemail. But you still swipe to answer.

“Hi Seungminnie,” you greet softly.

“Y/N! I have another scheduled in an hour, do you wanna come?” He asks excitedly.

Your stomach drops through the mattress. Thinking about the hell it takes to sneak around those buildings and then just sit there until it’s convenient for him? That is the last thing you’d want to do again.

“Uh, I think I’ll just stay in my room for a bit,” you decline politely.

“Huh?” He sounds confused. “But won’t you feel lonely just sitting up in your room?”

You let out a sigh. You felt lonely in the same room with him earlier. “I’m just gonna rest for a while. It’ll be fine.”

The pause on the other end of the line is heavy. “Are you sure?” The disappointment in his tone makes you feel guilty. But you’d rather be bored and lonely than be miserable and feel like a burden.

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” you try to sound reassuring. It’s hard to tell if he believes it or not.

“Ok, Jagi. Rest well for me, okay?” His voice is softer but you can still hear that he’s upset under it.

“I will. I love you.” This time, your voice is genuine. Just because your feelings are hurt, doesn’t mean it changes how you feel for him.

“I love you too. I’ll bring you food after, yeah?” You can almost hear the smile that lights up his tone. A small smile creeps onto your lips.

“Yeah, okay,” you agree.

After ending the call, you toss your phone somewhere on the duvet beside you and stare at the ceiling. It feels wrong to blame him. It can’t be his fault, right?

You showed up by surprise. It’s not like he’s on vacation and can drop everything to hang out with you. Maybe you were being dramatic. Maybe you had expected too much from this trip.

That realization didn’t make you feel any better about the situation though.

With a deep sigh, you decide to try and get comfortable, changing into sweats and switching between mindlessly scrolling on your phone and trying to find something to watch on the TV. None of it feels very fulfilling.

Before you know it, half the day is gone. You’re in Seoul and you spend half of your second day cooped up in your hotel room. The thought is depressing.

Then, out of nowhere, there’s a knock on your door that makes you jump. Who would be knocking on your door? Maybe the hotel's cleaning staff? You toe across the floor until you place both hands on the heavy frame and stretch to peek out the hole.

Standing there, smiling and chatting in the hall were none other than Felix and Jeongin. You gasp in surprise, quickly unlatching the lock and swinging the door open.

“Y/N!” Felix exclaims a little too loudly. Immediately, you try to shush him, frantically looking up and down the hall to make sure no one has noticed them.

“Shh! Felix! Are you trying to get spotted with me?!” You whisper-yell.

“Oh relax! It’s not as serious as Channie-hyung and Seungmin are making it out to be,” he assures you, not waiting for an invite as he slides past you to come inside your room. You move aside and Jeongin bows his head to you as he follows his hyung in.

“Annyeong, Noona,” he greets you politely.

“Annyeong, Innie,” you smile and bow to him too as you shut the door. “But what are you talking about ‘it’s not serious’?” You press towards Felix.

“For the most part, we’re able to walk around and live pretty normal lives! We’ll still be careful with you, like wearing masks and hats, but we can still go do things!” Felix explains like it’s just a normal Tuesday.

“He’s right. Most days it wouldn’t even feel like we’re idols if we didn’t have practice for hours,” the youngest confirms. Neither of them are paying too much mind to you, more preoccupied with emptying the contents of a shopping bag they’d brought with them. Snacks, drinks, masks and a ballcap for discretion.

“I don’t know guys. Even the staff were acting like it would cause a big scene if anyone spotted us together,” you deflate, shoulders slumping as you rub your arm anxiously.

But Felix makes a loud ‘pfft’ noise as if you were talking nonsense. “Staff are just following instructions! Channie made it very clear that your image is to be protected at all costs! They’re just going overboard.”

His words are like a bucket of ice water being dumped on your head. You stand there frozen. “Wait,” you say, successfully stopping their hands for them to look at you. Actually look at you and realize you’re shaking. “So all that, everything I had to go through earlier—it was overkill?”

Felix steps forward with furrowed brows. “What did they make you do?” He asks in genuine confusion.

You tell them about the stairs. About sitting awkwardly in the music room. About the strange car that dropped you off. You tell them how you’ve felt like a burden all day. How you may have checked flight prices to go home sooner.

“Oh Y/N,” Felix wraps his arms around you. “Seungmin is an idiot. Please don’t leave early. We’re really happy to have you here!”

Then you feel a hand on your shoulder as Felix pulls back. Jeongin has a sad smile on his face when he adds, “Yeah! And there are so many things we would like to show you!”

You didn’t realize you’d started crying until Felix wipes under your eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

The two boys gently coax you over to sit on the bed, offering comfort as best as they can muster; a hand rubbing your back, showing you the treats they brought you, shit-talking the idiotic ‘strategies’ to keep you a secret. It honestly makes you laugh at how hard they try.

“Are you hungry? We should take you out right now!” Felix finally exclaims.

“Great idea!” Jeongin agrees, jumping to his feet.

But you shake your head. “No, guys, I couldn’t. Seungmin said he’d bring me food later anyway,” you decline their offer.

“Nonsense! He’s got schedules ‘till late! I’m sure you’re starving!” Felix argues. As if on cue, your stomach decides to agree for you, growling so loud it almost concerns you.

“That settles it! You’re coming with us!” Jeongin claps once for finality.

“But I—”

“No buts!” Felix interrupts, shoving Jeongin towards the door. “You get ready and we’ll be outside when you’re finished!”

They’re already halfway out before you can argue. A smile tugs at your lips, grateful for their attention and effort. It makes the pit in your stomach feel less deep, less daunting. Like there’s still a reason to stay.

And you’re not a burden.

~*~

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @chanshugsaretherapy

@palindrome969 @here-to-read-and-read-fics @imagine-all-the-imagines @txnwvc @ravenclawunknown

@4ng3l-ch1ld @sillyhal @lveegsoi @chancloud8 @eeorrrr

@starrynightviper @teffyx @soulboundauthor @fanficwriter5 @mikarinakane

Across the room, you notice the way Chan is talking hushed with Seungmin, his brows knit in a serious expression. You can’t tell if he looks more angry or concerned. Maybe it’s both.

When he catches you staring, there’s a flash of surprise before his face softens into a smile. He pats Seungmin’s shoulder as he leads him back towards you and the others. And once he’s close enough, he wraps you in a big hug.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” he tells you quietly. It felt like a protective big brother’s hug after you’d done something reckless. It’s comforting and you tighten your arms around him.

“I’ll miss you guys,” you admit to him softly. He lifts a hand to the back of your head, giving even more sentiment to the embrace.

“You won’t lose us,” he assures you. Then Seungmin appears beside you, hand sliding across your back in comfort.

Chan lets you go with a smile, depositing you into Seungmin’s arms instead. Of course, he’s more than willing to wrap his arms around you.

“So Y/N, how do you want us to handle this?” Minho finally asks when everyone settles down. You look at him in confusion. His arms are crossed over his chest and there’s a menacing look swirling from below his brows.

“Lino—” Han starts to whine but is surprised by the hand that’s swiftly shoved in front of his face.

“Let her decide. She was the one who suffered,” Minho snaps.

Your brain churns for a good 20 seconds trying to figure out what he means until it actually processes. “Oh! There’s no need to bother with that anymore! It’s over and done with,” you quickly deny.

“True, but there needs to be action taken or it could happen to someone else,” Minho counters. “So, what would you like us to do about it?”

You pause for a moment, considering what he said. Because, honestly, he’s not wrong. What if you were a STAY that just so happened to be staying at this hotel as well? Would he have sent them away in handcuffs without hearing them out? Checking the facts?

“I think…there needs to be some protocols put into place,” you finally reply. “Some structure that balances security and liability. Procedures that protect an innocent bystander from mistaken judgment.”

The sound of your voice is small in your own ears but there’s a pride that blooms across the faces of the members; Chan looks like a proud dad, Minho is smiling a crooked smile that shows he’s genuinely happy with your answer, and Seungmin hugs you to his side.

“That’s a fantastic idea. Channie-hyung, speak with staff about this, won’t you?” Minho waves him off as he steps to playfully shove Seungmin out of the way to give you a proper hug. “You are a strong and kind soul. Don’t ever change,” he whispers in Korean.

Your eyes burn. “I promise,” you say, meeting him in his own language. His eyes turn to crescents when he pulls away.

Hyunjin is quick to replace his presence in front of you when he steps aside. “Please don’t be a stranger while we are away, Y/N!” He exclaims before pulling you into his arms, swaying dramatically to make you laugh. It works, a light sound escaping even with your wet cheeks.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” you assure him with a giggle.

Changbin is next, a little hesitant as he slowly takes the chance to talk to you. “I know we’ve had rocky times,” he starts, keeping his eyes low. A new teasing smile tugs at your lips.

“You can say that again,” you joke, making him chuckle. His eyes finally meet yours with a bittersweet look behind his eyes.

“I’m very glad to have met you,” he tells you sincerely before he too wraps you in a hug. “Please protect Liv like you always have. Fiercely and passionately.”

You’re not expecting to get as emotional as you do. Even after everything that’s happened between him and your best friend, you know he didn’t really mean to hurt her. It’s clear that he still cares about her. Your heart constricts with empathy.

They deserved a better shot at love.

Any words you hope to say lodge in your throat. All you can do is nod against his shoulder.

Seungmin is there when Changbin lets you go, wiping your tears away with gentle fingers. You offer a smile so he knows you’re ok.

It’s important to you to give each of the members a minute of your attention.

Felix forces his way into your arms next, still crying like someone is dying. You do your best to comfort him, telling him you can still hang out via FaceTime whenever he misses home. Ultimately, you're not sure if that helped or made things worse.

Jeongin's hug is quick but solid, evident that he wants to, both, show you how much he cares and seem tough like he doesn't. You know it's just an act though. "I'll tell Monster you'll come to visit soon, don't worry," you say teasingly. The mention of his equestrian buddy gets him, lips thinning as the corners pull down to fight the threatening emotions from escaping.

Finally, Han pushes his way to the front. His expressive eyes are damp like yours, nearly bottomless pools with how big and how deeply he feels. You hug him without waiting, rubbing his back for comfort. "Don't go writing any sad songs about me, okay?" You tell him with mock sternness.

He lets out a big belly laugh, hugging you tighter then pulling back. "I can't make those kinds of promises," he admits with a wide smile.

"Make it about the horses then," you offer as an alternative. He frantically wipes his face with his sleeves.

"That might be harder!" He whines, Felix voluntarily swooping in to comfort the rapper.

Seungmin slips back into his spot beside you, arm snaking around your waist, as you look at each of them with a fond smile. It feels surreal to be in this position. Just weeks ago you were nothing more than another STAY to them. You listened to their music to bring a little more sunshine into your days. Now that you know them, really know them, you wish they could stay forever.

But you're realistic. You know this isn't where they call home. It makes your heart ache a little just thinking about it.

"No more tears today!" You tell them cheerfully, wiping away any evidence of your own sorrows then smile. They listen, only the residual sniffles are heard around the room. "I am so grateful to call all of you my friends now. There will be plenty of time for more chances like this. It's not like this is the end!" You try to convince them. Or maybe you're convincing yourself.

But it's enough for them all to coo sentimentally and swarm in for a group hug that squishes you in the middle. Seungmin laughs, arms around your waist and a kiss pressed to your hair.

"I'm really gonna miss you guys," you whisper so softly that you doubt anyone even hears it over their lighthearted laughter and banter.

~*~

Seungmin sneaks the two of you away and you slip into his empty hotel room after it feels like all the members were satisfied with their goodbyes. He doesn’t waste a single second to have his lips pressed firmly against yours. Your arms wrap around his neck, returning the affection eagerly, tongue meeting his to deepen the kiss.

He groans into your mouth, hands swooping low to lift you by your thighs. Instinctively you wrap your legs around his waist, he swallows the soft gasp that escapes you. But it’s quickly replaced with intimate giggles as you press your foreheads together for a gentle moment.

He’s careful walking with you to the bed then he deposits you onto it. You laugh as the mattress bounces you from the slight drop. The comforter crinkles as he crawls after you, a playful smile on his face.

As much as you enjoy a good game of cat and mouse, you’re more interested in enjoying the feeling of having him in your arms. You open them, welcoming him. The way he scrambled to get into an embrace makes you giggle even more.

The laughter dies down when he looks into your eyes, a quiet adoration swimming in them. Emotion threatens to take over again. This is the last time for a long time that you'll be able to hold him like this, get lost in his deep brown orbs.

“Don’t cry, Jagiya,” he whispers, thumb brushing across her cheek.

Then he's leaning forward again to capture your lips. This one is short and sweet, his forehead leaned against yours as soon as you parted.

"I won't," you whisper.

"I promise we will talk every day," he says genuinely.

"Ok," you smile with a nod.

"And we can video chat as much as we can," he adds.

“I know,” you agree.

“And if you ever need me, I’ll tell the company I need to fly out,” he continues.

“That’s a little dramatic,” you laugh easily.

“But it’s true,” he counters, eyes shining with determination to make you believe him. "I'll do anything for you."

Your heart warms but the logical side of your brain denies the implication. "Seungmin—" you start gently before he cuts you off.

"I know you don't want me to abandon my career but, if that's what it takes, I would do it in a heartbeat for you," he confesses.

That sends you into a mild panic. And he must be able to see it on your face because his features soften as he holds you tighter. "I don't plan on it, but I would," he soothes. You let out a quiet sigh, snuggling into his embrace.

"No matter what happens between us, you have to promise me you won't be that reckless. Your career is too important," you scold gently. "The members count on you, STAY counts on you. You can't give that up."

"Alright, alright, I promise," he concedes with a chuckle. "You really love Stray Kids don't you," he teases.

"I loved Stray Kids music before I met you," you say with a smirk.

Seungmin flings a hand over his heart in mock offense. "I'm wounded, Jagi!"

You laugh a deep and genuine laugh, his expression light as he watches you, looking like he's trying to memorize every single one of your features. "But I can also promise that I'll never break your heart."

His words spark a fire of affection and hope in your chest that uses the sadness like tinder, a blaze so hot that you're not so scared that they're going back anymore.

It settles in that you won't lose him, any of them. You will just love him from afar. 'I can do that,' you tell yourself silently.

"I know," you tell him instead, because you truly believe him.

He smiles and leans in to steal another kiss, this one lingering. You don't deny him, craving the closeness as much as he does.

It's not until a knock raps at the door that the two of you separate.

Seungmin groans and reluctantly rolls off the bed to answer it. The person at the door talks quickly and the slight muffle of their voices makes it hard for you to understand in Korean. But you catch bits and pieces.

You hear the words leaving, soon, your name, and home. Then Seungmin's voice asking for a little more time. But the other person denies him. Disappointment claws at your chest that it's already time to go.

Knowing you can't fight it, you scoot yourself to the edge of the bed to stand and straighten your clothes. Seungmin comes back, his face reflecting the same disappointment you feel.

It makes you smile knowing he feels the same.

You open your arms again and he eagerly steps into them, burying his face in your shoulder. "Staff says it's time to take you home," he says, muffled by his hoodie you're wearing.

"I kinda heard," you reply softly.

He lifts his head with a sigh. "They said you'll leave out the back door. To ensure no fans see or speculate," he explains, pout still set on his face.

You nod with a smile that doesn’t fully reach your eyes. How could it? When you just want to stay.

He slides his hands down your arms until he gets your hands in his, pulling them up so he can place firm kisses to your knuckles. "Can you make me a promise too?" He asks, not waiting for you to respond. "Promise you won't give up on us?"

Your heart flutters, his worry making you soften again. "I promise, Seungminnie," and you mean it.

~*~

~*~

As much as you didn't want to, you had to go into work for at least a few hours. But no one said you couldn't drag your feet to do it. You take your time tossing your bag by the lockers, changing your boots, and putting your hair up into a high ponytail.

Two of the other girls walk in just before you were heading to the stable. They're talking too loudly for you to ignore and mind your own business.

"—the horses that were sold?" One asks, which is what caught your attention.

"I did hear about that! Someone bought some of them last night, right?" The other confirms.

"That's what I heard. But do you know which ones?"

"No, but I heard there were several of the group riding horses."

It feels like the air is ripped from your lungs and you gasp in a breath out of panic. Your heart feels frozen. The group riding horses? The chances of at least one of the sold horses being from your group you'd assigned the boys were extremely high. Your mind screams for you to find out which ones were sold.

Without wasting any more time, you hurry to leave, immediately running towards the office. They'll be able to tell you.

The office assistant, Jackie, looks up with startled eyes when you burst through the front door. You nearly fall into the counter in your haste, catching yourself before you could actually get hurt.

"Oh Y/N! Where's the fire?" Jackie jokes. You humor her with a fake laugh, trying to seem more normal.

"Sorry! I was just running a little behind this morning," you lie. "I wanted to ask though. I heard a rumor that some of the horses I use for group rides have been sold. Is that true?"

You're confused by the way her eyes light up, her whole face brightening at the mention of the sale.

"Yes! Someone was supposed to talk to you today!" She says excitedly, fingers flying across the keyboard of her computer to pull something up. “Since you’re already here, I can just tell you what you need to know!”

You try to school your face into a pleasant smile even though your nerves are making you feel like you could pass out at any second.

“Ah ha! There it is!” She exclaims happily when she finds what she was looking for. “Ok, the horses that were sold were Freckles, Shadow, Jersey, Daisy, Monster, Rosie, Copper, and Pearl.”

At first, you thought the floor was going to drop out from under you as she started to list off every horse you had chosen for the boys. But when it was all of them, your jaw nearly hit the counter.

There’s no way.

And why did she look so happy about losing eight horses? “When will they be transferring out?” You ask. Your heart still constricts in your chest thinking about losing them. But if they are with the boys, you know they will take care of them.

“Actually! That’s the best part!” She replies cheerfully. “The new owners are paying boarding and food costs to keep them here!”

Your eyes go wide at the news. “Wait, really?!” You can’t help the rise in your tone, the excitement is palpable in the air.

“Yes! But there were conditions,” Jackie calms into a more serious manner. “And that’s where you come in. It was requested that the horses still be used for group rides. As long as it is safe for them to do so and you must be their instructor.”

That’s the final confirmation you needed.

“Oh wow! That’s really crazy!” You say with sarcasm.

“It is! Not only do we get to keep the horses here and receive extra income from them, but they are also going to maintain their work eligibility!”

“Right, it’s a win-win!” You laugh awkwardly, trying to discreetly pull out your phone and slowly back away towards the door. “Thank you for letting me know, Jackie. I'd better get back to work though! Have a great day!”

You book it out the door almost as fast as when you’d come in, pulling up the group chat before it even closed behind you. Even if they won’t see any of it until they land, you don’t care.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @chanshugsaretherapy

@palindrome969 @here-to-read-and-read-fics @imagine-all-the-imagines @txnwvc @ravenclawunknown

@4ng3l-ch1ld @sillyhal @lveegsoi @chancloud8 @teffyx

~*~

taglist 

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds 

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @chanshugsaretherapy

@palindrome969 @here-to-read-and-read-fics @imagine-all-the-imagines @txnwvc @ravenclawunknown

@4ng3l-ch1ld @sillyhal @lveegsoi @chancloud8 @teffyx

You pull the fabric up to your nose, masking your smile so you don’t look like a crazy person smirking at nothing. But you still can’t help that it won’t go away. The warmth of the memories from the last couple weeks with him and the other members is enough to have you grinning like an idiot, even if they are leaving in a few hours.

It doesn’t even occur to you that it might seem a little weird when you walk past the service desk and head straight for the elevators. As your finger lifts to press the call button, a stern voice coming from somewhere behind you makes you jump.

“Excuse me, Miss. I’m gonna have to ask you to come with me,” a man with a thick mustache and a gut that says he either has a drinking problem or is addicted to donuts says, matching towards you with an expression that dares you to push that button.

“Oh,” you murmur in surprise, taking a step back from the elevator doors. “Is there something wrong?”

The way he lets out a sarcastic laugh makes you feel like the question was silly, your cheeks heating in embarrassment. And as soon as he’s within arm’s reach, his hand roughly grabs around your bicep.

“Ow! Hey, let go of me!” You demand, pulling but failing to get your arm free.

“Not a chance,” he huffs, dragging you along towards the concierge desk.

“I just got here and I haven’t done anything wrong!” You argue, still trying to tug against his iron grip.

“Very funny. I was warned about you stalker fans but I didn’t think you’d be brave enough to walk right past the front desk in their merchandise,” he snorts like he’s proud of a job well done.

Your jaw drops in shock, the resistance you’d been giving evaporates with the accusation. The realization that this was just a big misunderstanding makes you almost sigh in relief. Almost.

“Whoa, wait, I’m not a crazy fan,” you try to explain but he just snorts and throws the office door open before shoving you into an uncomfortable chair against the wall.

“Right, you can tell that to the cops when they get here,” the threat turns your blood to ice, a new found panic rising in your chest.

“I swear! I was invited here!” But he still isn’t listening, plopping down in his desk chair and reaching for the office phone. “I can prove it!”

That makes him pause, looking at you with scrutiny and mild amusement. “And how do you plan to do that?”

“Just have one of their staff speak to anyone in the group! They’ll vouch for me! Please!” You beg.

His eyes search your face like it’ll betray you and spill any lies you’re telling. But then he plants his elbow on the desk, the cheap wood shaking from the force, and points an accusatory finger at you.

“I swear to god if you’re pulling my leg, kid,” he doesn’t even bother finishing the threat as he grabs the phone again and hits a button that apparently has someone on speed dial. He glares at you while it rings a couple times before whoever is on the other end answers.

“Hi Ms. Yoon? … Yes, this is Herb from hotel security. … No, no! Everything is fine! I have handled the situation so no need to be alarmed. … A young girl claiming to have been invited by your group. … Uh, well, she has this crazy idea that if you ask them, then they will back up her story.” The laugh he says it with is cut off by the woman on the line. The next pause is short as he turns his attention back to you. “What’s your name,” and it’s less of a question and more of a demand.

“Y/N L/N,” you quickly provide, leg bouncing anxiously and your heel tapping against the leg of the chair. They have to believe you.

“Y/N L/N,” he repeats. Another pause. “Yes ma’am. I will keep her held here until I hear back from you.” And with that, he ends the call. “I can’t wait till your story crumbles and I get to send you away in handcuffs.”

“Well you’ll be waiting a while ‘cause I’m not doing anything wrong,” you grumble, slouching back into the hard plastic of your seat.

You sat there for an excruciatingly long ten minutes, staring at the strained buttons of the security guard’s shirt as he leaned back in his swivel chair playing or scrolling on his cellphone. A little part of you wishes your glare would burn holes in the cheap white material.

The other part just wishes this whole thing could be over, anxious over what if the staff didn’t tell the guys? What if you get arrested and miss telling them goodbye before their flight back home? What if Seungmin spends the whole flight thinking you ghosted him?

That thought makes your heart drop.

But lucky for you, it’s a short lived feeling. A few moments after your spiraling train of thought tried to take over, commotion outside the confined space draws both of your attentions before the door of the security office bursts open.

Standing in the doorway is none other than Seungmin himself coming to your rescue. A mix of anger and panic mares his face as his eyes frantically search the room until they meet with yours. Relief instantly washes over his features and he rushes towards you, quick to pull you out of that stiff chair and into his arms.

“Thank god,” he whispers in his native tongue against your temple.

“I’m ok,” you assure him under your breath. He pulls back to look at you, gently checking you over for any sign of injury, his eyes softening when they meet yours again. But they quickly harden as he whips around towards the idiot now standing behind the desk.

“How dare you treat her so poorly! Who do you think you are?!” He shouts, looking like the only thing holding him back from ripping the security guy’s head off is the arm he has wrapped around your waist.

“But sir! I was just doing my job!” The guy tries desperately to defend. You glare at the way he attempts to sound innocent in the whole ordeal.

But Seungmin seems to see past his act. He turns back to you. It amazes you how his features instantly soften every time his eyes land on you.

“Did he give you a chance to explain, Love?” Seungmin asks you gently.

You give him a small shake of your head as you say, “Not until after he nearly called the cops.”

His eyes go sharp as he swiftly turns his attention to the pudgy man. “You’ll be lucky not to lose your precious job after this,” he spits.

“Let’s not be too hasty!” He nervously laughs, hands raised in surrender. “In my defense, there’s nothing very spectacular just by looking at her. I mean, she’s just some girl, ya know?”

You see in real time the way Seungmin’s expression floods with rage, words spilling out in Korean even though they all know not one of them would be understood by the intended recipient. “Do you want to die?!”

But they don’t fall on deaf ears with you. You’re quick to grab his sleeves to keep him beside you, the action enough to drag his attention back to where it matters. “You know what? He’s not worth all this,” you tell him with eyes urging him to agree.

The tension in his shoulders loosens, understanding how much time has been wasted on a judgemental nobody. He offers a sweet smile, lifting a hand to brush his fingers across your cheek and tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, we’ve wasted enough time,” he says before shooting a look back at the wide eyed security guard as he guides you out of the small room.

He keeps close but his touch disappears when you cross into the lobby. You glance up at him, he’s already looking at you with guilty eyes. But you’re too emotionally exhausted to question it at this point.

The two of you make a beeline for the elevators, the minute and a half wait passes by at snail pace. You stand there awkwardly shifting your weight from foot to foot, wanting to lean into his comforting presence but unsure if you’re allowed. When the doors finally slide open, you breathe a sigh of relief that it’s empty so you won’t have anyone else giving you any kind of looks.

The two of you step in, Seungmin quickly pressing the button for the twelfth floor, and wait the agonizing twenty seconds for the doors to close again. As soon as they do, Seungmin has you wrapped in his arms and pressing your back against the wall. His hands frantically checking you over for any injuries he may have overlooked before in his panic.

When it seems he’s satisfied enough, his hands cradle your face, his eyes searching yours as if he’s trying to memorize every detail. “I was so worried,” he sighs, pulling your lips to meet his for a soft kiss. His body relaxes, hands sliding to your neck, down to your waist.

You return his affection, relieved that nightmare is finally over. You pull back and gently sift your fingers through his soft, unstyled hair. “We can forget about that nonsense now,” you assure him with a smile.

His smile warms your heart, a soft and genuinely happy feeling curling in your chest. But the elevator interrupts before it can fully settle, dinging to indicate arrival on his floor. Seungmin reluctantly pulls back just enough so it won’t look compromising if someone is waiting behind the elevator door when it opens.

“The guys have been waiting. They were worried too,” he says, lacing your pinkies together just before the doors slide open.

You can’t peel your eyes away from the tiny entwined appendages the entire time he leads you back to the block of rooms the members occupied. The memory of that ride you’d taken with him; Storm and Pearl on their best behavior, cuddling on the hill overlooking the beautiful wilderness below, pinkies finding each other any chance they got.

The promise this silent gesture means by him initiating. Your own words echoing in the empty space. “It’s always free for you, no matter what.” The way he had held you and said he never wanted to let go.

Tears prick at your eyes thinking about how that time has come and he has to. He’ll be thousands of kilometers away. Out of reach in more ways than one.

Quickly, you swipe the back of your free hand over your leaking eyes before the first tears can fall. He can’t know that this upsets you. It’ll only make it worse.

Instead, you put on a smile. A genuine smile that shows how much you value the time you have together. Because that is enough.

For now.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @chanshugsaretherapy

@palindrome969 @here-to-read-and-read-fics @imagine-all-the-imagines @txnwvc @ravenclawunknown