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↠ This blog has 18+ content.
Why? Because I curse, write shameless smut and may have triggering themes in some of my fics. I do my best to tag accordingly. Please proceed with caution. You have been warned. YOU ARE CONSUMING MEDIA AT YOUR OWN RISK! Thank you.
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↠ Affectionately nicknamed Koki or ZomMom
but you can call me whatever you like ❤️ respectfully
With that out of the way, below the cut are links to masterlists of my works. Enjoy your time on my blog!
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summary Vocal, dance, visual; awards and spotlights and devoted fans. As a member of Midnight, you have everything JYP promised you and more - because as you flirt on the edge of the rules, Mark draws closer, and who are you to defy attraction?
You think you can have it all, right up until the rumours catch up with you and you are asked to make a choice - leave your group before you bring them down...or pretend to be in love with Stray Kids' Bang Chan, just the way the company dictates it.
genre smau, dystopia AU, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, war, refugees, the things we leave behind
summary the city has fallen, and with it your hopes and your dreams, your life, the small safety you had constructed for yourself. even your country hangs by a thread as its descent into civil war and the destruction that comes with it becomes inevitable.
there is no going back, and there is no escape either; and yet, you must try, you and the eight boys that have ended up clinging to each other for safety, even if the border seems an impossible distance away and the city walls impenetrable. either you run for the sanctuary of fabled, far-away countries, or you die here in the ash and the rubble.
you have never been very good at dying.
warnings major character death, sexual assault, abuse, politics, dystopia, depictions of injury
It's the end of an era in my life! And so, I am allowed to write an essay on my feelings
On the 24th of September 2023 I wrote the prologue to this thing, and it has HAUNTED me for nearly three years since. It feels really weird to put it down now. I have been broke twice, broken my pelvis, quit three jobs, moved four times, and gotten a whole new career that has nothing to do with the one that made me relate to Queenmaker in the first place, and she's been right here that whole time. Is that not crazy.
Also crazy is the amount of traction this fic got? This is by far the most popular thing I've ever written and a confidence boost I really needed. I'm on my hands and knees praying I will publish next year and be this popular. Anyway, I would like to share several statistics and a discord message that aged like fine wine:
Maybe it's silly to be proud of a fanfiction for small achievements but I am proud. And I'm so thankful that you all read it - and if you ever left a comment, or reblogged with a tag, or sent me an ask, know that I read them all regularly, all of the time, and I appreciate every single one even if I'm really bad at replying to them ❤️ The response really truly does mean the world to me.
And last but ABSOLUTELY not least, thanks to @kokinu09 and @rainfallingfromthesky, who edited and cheerled tirelessly for three years even when I have a breakdown every five chapters about nothing. You guys are the BEST, you're always there when I randomly request a vibe check or start figuring out plot right in your living room - what in hell would I do without you.
And to rain specifically, I think a lot of people don't know this but in the first half of the fic, she wrote at least 50% of the tweets. Your work is tireless and amazing my friend. Thank you also for creating Midnight and trusting me with them, I think together we realised your vision - which is another thing I'm so proud of in this fic. Cheers and here's to Heartbreaker, rainy day.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!! 👏👏👏
You have blown our expectations out of the water with this one and what a masterpiece smau it is!! I loved reading every second of this and I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for us next! 🫶
genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,
summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.
Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.
status ongoing
taglist OPEN
a/n and so the end reaches us.
previous | masterlist
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[EXCERPT FROM TRANSCRIPT: [2 Kids Room] Ep 11. Bang Chan x Y/N]
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Chan: Fans don't talk about us being close very often.
Y/N: Do we never spend time together on camera?
Chan: Don't we? Wait. Don't we?
Y/N: Have we never spent time together in public?
Chan: This will be a surprise video for Stay then.
Y/N: Stay! We are friends!
Chan: When this comes out, we should go to dinner to celebrate.
Y/N: Just dinner?
Chan: Where else do you want to go?
Y/N: Let's go on vacation for at least a week.
Chan: A week? That's crazy.
Y/N: It will make a great video.
Chan: What about the others?
Y/N: Leave them home. They don't need to come. What do all of them need a vacation for?
---
Y/N: How did we even become friends?
Chan: You don't remember?
Y/N: I never decided you were my friend. I just realised now that we've been friends for a long time. There was never one moment.
Chan: I remember a moment.
Y/N: Do you?
Chan: I remember, I caught you at the company in the middle of the night, and I made you help me with a demo.
Y/N: Which one?
Chan: The first one. Before God's Menu. And Hannie fell asleep, remember?
Y/N: Oh! Yes!
Chan: And we were there until four AM talking-
Y/N: Ah, I remember this!
Chan: I wanted you to stop practising at night and you scolded me.
Y/N: Did I? I was so tired in those days, I didn't even think straight.
Chan: Because you were working too hard.
Y/N: We were going through a hard time then.
Chan: Mm. But we made it through. And eventually you listened to me.
Y/N: I apologised and everything.
Chan: You cried in the back room at-
Y/N: Oh no, don't tell everyone that. That's so embarrassing.
Chan: Why?
Y/N: I remember, it was over something totally stupid. And I never cry, but my thoughts were so messed up...
Chan: I thought it was really...honestly, I was relieved when it happened. Not because I wanted you to end up feeling that way, but just because you gave up on doing it without us. I wanted so bad to help you and for a long time, there was nothing I could do.
Y/N: I didn't trust anyone back then. Not even the company. And, you know, I thought I trusted you, but now...I really didn't.
Chan: You really didn't.
Y/N: But I spent so much time trying to make it on my own, I didn't even realise. I never had anyone to lean on like that until I met you guys.
Chan: I understand. I was the same, a little bit. Watching people come and go, and opportunities.
Y/N: That's how you were able to help me.
Chan: Maybe I should have been a bit tougher.
Y/N: It might have taken longer for us to be friends then.
Chan: You'd still be looking at me all scared.
Y/N: Give me that pillow.
Chan: Why?
Y/N: I'm going to hit you with it.
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Chan: You came late, but you fit into our group so well.
Y/N: Oh, thank you.
Chan: And we all love you.
Y/N: Stop, stop.
Chan: No, we have to talk.
Y/N: Talk about yourself then.
Chan: Stay already know everything about me. But they don't know very much about you.
Y/N: Maybe there's just nothing to know.
Chan: Aish, we're going to fight. Don't do that.
Y/N: No, there's lots of things. I've been doing so much content lately to try and show many different sides and colours. And...I'm so tired. No, I don't know.
Chan: You've been busy. I haven't even seen you this week.
Y/N: You always say that, even when we had schedules like, yesterday.
Chan: No, I don't remember seeing you.
Y/N: We had practice...two days ago. You - you were staring at me, you remember that? You looked like you were going to scold me for something.
Chan: When Felix was trying to explain and you were both wrong?
Y/N: Yeah, but you didn't even help him.
Chan: I figured you'd both learn eventually. It's important to learn.
---
Y/N: Honestly, I find it hard to do content with anyone sometimes, because of the...how can I say...the idol image?
Chan: Mm.
Y/N: Especially in a co-ed group that's all boys. Fans sometimes...get the wrong idea?
Chan: It's funny how different it is from how we used to be.
Y/N: But not bad, right?
Chan: Not good or bad, just different. Not...like, it doesn't matter, you know?
Y/N: Ah.
Chan: You pointed it out to me once that even the clothes and stage directions, who we stand next to is different because you're here. And I - I mean, the music was obviously different, with your new colour and style, but I keep thinking, 'wow, even little details like that change just because she's here'.
Y/N: Fans have been a lot better now that I've gotten to know them though, and they've gotten to know me. When I see Stay online making sure that I'm healthy and I'm enjoying everything, it makes me so happy. And you do a good job not letting it change too much too.
Chan: Ah, I don't do much.
Y/N: No, but my favourite concept was because you said we should do it. And you gave me a lot of encouragement on the vlogs too, like the one I did with Changbin.
Chan: I just think...we should all have fun on stage without worrying too much. If we all just be ourselves, that's what Stay want the most.
Y/N: They want you to take your shirt off too.
Chan: Oh no. No, no, no.
Y/N: Hurry up and do it, come on.
Chan: No, no.
Y/N: Go on.
Chan: Ah, how about we take a picture instead, yeah? And then we can go.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
boyfriend!skz reacts to you falling off your horse
ot8 x reader
requested by @keepswingin
a/n: this is gonna be weirdly specific to very few people, i know it. but still. nearly all of these are based on personal experience. this is how i process the trauma.
genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,
summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.
Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.
status ongoing
taglist OPEN
a/n yes here it is. only an epilogue to go, can you believe it? i certainly can't and so i shall not be talking about it right now.
previous | masterlist | next
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[EXCERPT FROM TRANSCRIPT: Y/N First Anniversary Stream! | SKZ Live]
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Han: Livestream? Live? GoLive? We are live?
Felix: Annyeong~
[Chatter, inaudible]
Bang Chan: Stay, do you know what day it is today?
Han: Aha, yes, today we are here to celebrate a very special day.
Changbin: Yes, today it has been one year since our precious Y/N noona debuted!
[Cheers]
Hyunjin: Y/N noona! Princess noona!
Han: Maknae noona!
Y/N: Yes, yes. Thank you very much.
Seungmin: Speech! Speech!
Y/N: Speech? Right now?
Changbin: Speech, and then blow out the candles.
Y/N: Um-
Changbin: Quick, before the candle melts
Y/N: Ah okay, okay. Um, thank you everyone for supportig me...to the members thank you...to Skijigi, thank you for all your hard work...um, to JYP thank you for knowing where I belong...aish, this is embarrassing-
Seungmin: Just say something nice about each of us.
Changbin: Yes, noona, how much do you love me?
Y/N: For some people there is nothing nice to say at all.
I.N: Some of us are fine though, right?
Y/N: Oh, some of you.
---
Bang Chan: There's a game to play, here.
Felix: Who goes first?
Han: Oldest goes first.
Bang Chan: I.N-ssi, go now.
Y/N: I don't think that boys know how to count.
Lee Know: What does it have to do with counting?
Seungmin: Well if you count the years, you'll realise that Chan hyung is so old that-
Bang Chan: Hey, hey, hey.
Changbin: I.N-ah, are you ready?
I.N: Are you ready?
Hyunjin: I.N-ah-h-h.
I.N: Okay. When did Y/N noona join JYP?
Changbin: Aish, who would know that?
Seungmin: When the dinosaurs were around.
Y/N: Hey!
I.N: Two thousand and sixteen.
Y/N: Yes.
Changbin: How do you know that?
I.N: You should know things about your friends.
Lee Know: Who's next?
Bang Chan: Felix, go next.
Felix: Ah, thankyou. Who is Y/N noona's favourite member?
Han: Oh, too easy.
Y/N: Who wrote these questions?
Felix: Is it...who is it? Huh?
Seungmin: It's me, obviously.
Y/N: Kim Seungmin has lost his mind again.
Felix: Y/N-ssi?
Y/N: It's all of the members.
Changbin: No, that's cheating.
Han: No-o-o.
Seungmin: Boo!
Y/N: What?
Hyunjin: My turn, my turn. What is Y/N-ssi's favourite SKZ song?
Y/N: To perform or to sing?
I.N: Oh, yes, those are different.
Hyunjin: What? I don't know, I didn't write the questions.
Hyunjin: To sing, I think District 9, to perform...anything that doesn't have any dancing.
Y/N: Correct!
Hyunjin: Really?
Changbin: Answer the questions properly, noona.
Y/N: Actually my favourites for both are on our new album, coming out on August 23rd, please wait patiently and give us a lot of support!
Han: Which ones?
Y/N: Ah for performance...title track, and for singing...um. I don't know the track number. Quiet...something...
Han: Ah, yes, I understand, yes.
Bang Chan: Okay, my turn, thank you.
Han: Go Bang Chan, go Bang Chan.
Bang Chan: Say something you admire about Y/N. Um...
Y/N: It shouldn't take you this long to think of something.
Bang Chan: Ah, this noona. I admire...how brave she is. And stubborn. She always does exactly what she needs to do, even when she doesn't really want to do it. And she never complains.
Y/N: Ah, thank you.
Changbin: Why do you never say nice things like that to me?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
boyfriend!skz reacts to you falling off your horse
ot8 x reader
requested by @keepswingin
a/n: this is gonna be weirdly specific to very few people, i know it. but still. nearly all of these are based on personal experience. this is how i process the trauma.
