#kohki

By Kohki

By Kohki

The Diary Of A Daughter is a very clear piece of writing because it is grounded in an actual psychological process rather than a spiritual narrative. The message of this extract is that if you want to survive, your illusions die because there's no other way. That is very different from saying, "You must kill your ego," or "You must kill ambition." You must nothing. What dies it dies.

In this account nothing is killed deliberately. Reality does the killing. Your role is to survive it. That is psychologically much closer to what we know about trauma, grief, and major life transitions. For years, the daughter's nervous system organized itself around one prediction. "If I do enough, if I become enough, perhaps she will finally love me." That prediction wasn't just an idea. It organized hope, behavior, attention, and emotion. It was her life. Then reality slowly demonstrated that the prediction was false. The prediction collapsed. That is not a spiritual death. It is a prediction error so large that the brain can no longer maintain its old model.

Now something remarkable happens. The energy that was invested in maintaining the false model becomes available for a different model. Not because a guru taught her to "let go." But because reality made the old model too expensive to maintain. That is how brains actually learn.

Her part was to recover from the fall of illusions. The nervous system is trying to regain stability after one of its central models has failed. That is recovery, not self-annihilation.

She wrote also something important of the "self-help" business. A person arrives devastated by divorce, bereavement, abuse, illness, or betrayal. Their previous worldview has already collapsed. Instead of helping them rebuild a model that corresponds more closely to reality, some teachers reinterpret the collapse as a spiritual opportunity to dissolve the self even further. It risks turning a necessary psychological reconstruction into another project of self-negation.

dit is een waanzinnige foto van een waanzinnig gebouw genaamd “The Hive” in Singapore. wat ik juist zo interessant vind is dat deze foto van bovenaf is genomen en je dus naar beneden kijkt en die organische vorm ziet van het gebouw.