warm
you're so warm.
today, when I held you, you blocked out the chill of the air, and your chest fell in sync with mine as we breathed back and forth.
your teeth in the crook of my neck were cold. they only brushed me once when you whispered, but it was enough to nearly make me stumble where I stood.
your hair was impossibly soft, and your hood smelled like you. your eyes reflected the sun like signs on the side of the road, but they're so pretty.
you have freckles. I touched them, even though I didn't mean to. our cheeks brushed against each other with every turn of our heads - it was inevitable, with how close we were. they were soft.
only yesterday I recall you leaning over my shoulder and kissing my cheek. I hardly even remember it, it was so friendly and playful and soft and quick and I was so embarrassed I still don't know what to do.
i remember last year on the bus where we sat. you shared with me your music and leaned your head against my shoulder. you have an amazing music taste. if I could spend all day leaning into you and listening and watching the landscape go by, i would. but nothing that good lasts that long, I know. You lifted your head and wiped your eyes and smiled at me. the time might have been short, but the memory is long.
yesterday at lunch you did a similar thing - you rested your head on my shoulder and didn't show your face. I was careful not to move, because your touch is like a cat's. if I'm blessed with it, I must treasure it and focus on retaining it because the smallest wrongdoing could lead you to pull away, and I don't want that, I never want that.
you gave me a nickname, I don't remember when. all i know is that every time I close my eyes I'll hear the echo of your voice calling it in my ear. I want to repay the favor, since yours is so sweet.
and finally, today. When we broke apart, when I set you back on the ground, your warmth didn't fade from my arms. I was flushed and blind to you, because I had just experienced so much of you and I didn't know if it was okay to experience a little more.
you weren't afraid to look at me, though. because you aren't afraid to touch me, to hug me. you never are. you're so warm, so brave.
with more finality, when we saw each other our last, if it were only for the weekend, you bid me farewell. you said - you hugged me and I lifted you up like always and you said see you on Monday, like it was important and you actually... wanted... to see me. like it's something you care about, something important. your steps lingered and you walked backwards, and I floundered because it was so much.
the warmth lingered, and I was giddy.
my jacket is gone, but you are there.
you are my warmth. you're everywhere.
