#knowtehmalik

I find solace in tumblr since I don’t have many irl people on here save for a few people from high school and university, but I really want to vent for a bit.

Everything hasn’t gone well these last few months since I graduated, but right now my main problem is relationships. Just when I think something good is going to happen it ends up being ruined by something.

I’ve been talking to this one guy who I assumed liked me. We talk on discord and play games every day, we have talked about our lives and I’ve been planning on meeting him irl, and just as I fall for him I have come to the realization that he is straight. Just like every other time.

I think what really set me over the edge was my fraternity sister, who introduced me to him, asking if there is anything between us and I deny because it is true, nothing has or will happen between us.

He helped me through my moms passing, whether he knows it or not I try not to bring it up and haven’t so far, but everything has been so stressful the last few months. I haven’t even been eating normally the last month, I don’t feel hungry. And when I feel hungry I feel guilty because I’m finally losing weight after starting to exercise again. It feels like the only thing in my control after not being able to do anything else in my life. I’ve even relapsed on my nicotine addiction after three weeks and I’m finding it hard to stop.

I’ve been applying to jobs and either hear nothing back or receive rejection after rejection. Am I just so undesirable not even a job will hire me?

I just want to get away from everything, find happiness somewhere, get a job, have control in my life.

Anyways WayV making me feel things I love them 😌😌😌😌