#knowingless

I find I am possessed by gentleness, my movements are heavy with care. I touch her hands delicately, I brush her hair, I kiss her forehead, I tuck the blankets around her just right. I am shocked at how powerful this urge is, it doesn’t feel like a choice. I’ve been hollowed out by love. My care for her seems like clearly the realest thing. All other things in my life I thought I cared about turn into faint shadows in the face of this. It feels like I’m made out of a billion tiny particles that are all pointing in the same direction. It’s here that I am full. Despite my lack of sleep and my grief, I am a white hot light. I have never been so glad to suffer.

To love someone skillfully is to pour fuel on their soul.