Conservative critics: "you are dumb and ugly, your ideas are stupid, you're simultaneously petulant child and criminal mastermind, street trash and classist elite depending on what I need you to be. Here's a generic list of generally and generically bad things I compare you to: "
Liberal critic: "you are dumb and hurtful and one of these days I (or the free market) might do something about it!"
Leftist critics: " I have scoured every inch of your life's works and history. I know you better than your own mother. I am the world's foremost expert in you, and I can say, with absolute certainty, you are an awful person. Your flaws and vices are the most essential things about you. You would be rejected on the basis of your own standards. Please enjoy this four hour decomentary based on my research. "
