#knj.

maybe you are a poet and a dreamer, but don’t you realize that those two species are extinct now?

                                      for: kim namjoon                                       from: moon hyeonyi                                     happy valentine’s, fool                            starting to think the fool is me, btw                         you better fucking kiss me now i swear

as pictured above: 

a physical copy of hyeonyi’s favorite book, suskind’s perfume , a part of her brain

heart-shaped, hand-written note, a part of her soul

a box chocolates, upholding tradition as promised

comissioned godzilla shaped chocolate bar, a testament to attention

a physical mixtape, for a moment of intimacy

a stuffed white cat, a memento

an origami flower, an indicator of tenderness

fixed heart pin and handwritten note that reads “wear this if u want a kiss”, a wink to her teasing nature

leather journal, for the unsaid things

life is full of unexpected things and that is the point of doing this, i think. you wake up every day and even when you have a plan, you don’t know exactly what will happen. i think that’s dreadful, but i also find it exciting.

the day i met you i planned for normalcy. normalcy back then was being stuck in a writers block rut, unable to do a thing about it, spending my eighteen or so hours wandering about, trying to get struck by something, anything, and being terribly mistaken, of course. lather, rinse, repeat.

instead, all i can rememebr is you. that day would have merged into the empty space of all the days i’d had that were exaclty the same thus far, nothing remarkable about it. but i met you. and that changed. i don’t know how to say this casually. there might not be a way to, and that doesn’t really torture me as i think it would any other person… but most days all i can remember is you. you and the way i feel so up and down. you, you, you.

i haven’t been truthful. ever since we talked about it i’ve been a little scared that you won’t deem me enough to pursue because you can’t see far enough into a future with me. still, by my own beliefs, i can’t let that stop me from enjoyig the now.

i might not be the wife and mother of your children you seek and deserve. that’s completely fine, i don’t care about the built in end. and* i think you shouldn’t turn away from it, regardless of how far you think it can or can’t go.

stick by me. stick by me now and let’s get caught up in a blur of emotions. if nothing else comes from it, at least a couple of charting hits will.

i’ve beared my heart now, and as usual, i don’t regret it. i hope my thoughts will bury into your head. i hope you’ll give the imminent failure a try to be something else for the time being.

potentially yours, moon hyeonyissi