#knbss2016

Taiga thought Aomine was so adorable when he was being shy.  He hated the fact that he was about to disappoint the blue-haired boy.  Taiga gave him a sad smile.  “Aomine, I’m sorry,” he said gently.  “I already have something to do that day..  I was going to go to the grocery store for Christmas on Christmas Eve.  In America, Christmas is this big family holiday with insane amounts of food.”

“So, basically, the amount of food you eat every time at Maji Burger?”  Aomine asked with a smirk, giving no hints as to whether he was disappointed by Taiga‘s negative response.

“Oh, shut up!”  Taiga grumbled.  “Anyway, Christmas in America is this really big thing, nothing at all like how it is here in Japan.  There’s presents and a guy in red who brings presents to kids, but the best thing of all is all the food!”  Taiga’s eyes sparkled just thinking about it.  “There is just so much!  Turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce, though most people eat it out of a can.  Isn’t that odd?  And the desserts!  So many cookies and pies, you could bake for days!”

Aomine chuckled at Taiga’s enthusiasm and rested his head on his hand.  “Why do I have the feeling that you just like American Christmas because of all the food?”

Taiga reddened.  “That‘s not true!” he protested.  “The family part is really important to me, too, you know!  But unfortunately, my father has to work Christmas Eve, so he can’t travel here.  I need someone to help me eat all this stuff.”  

Aomine burst out laughing.  “You can’t eat all that food by yourself?  You, the guy who could eat 40 Maji burgers?  I never thought I would see the day!”

“Shut up, Aho!”  Taiga grumbled petulantly.  “I was going to ask you to come whether my family could come home or not, because I like you!”  He closed his mouth immediately.  He wasn’t usually one to express his emotions like that, but Aomine…  Daiki… could bring that side out of him easily.  He cleared his throat.  “Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to come eat with me?”

The blue-haired boy wrapped his arm around Taiga’s shoulder.  “Of course I am, Bakagami!  I love your cooking, you know!  It’ll be better than any restaurant!  The company‘s kind of a pain, though,” he added slyly.

Taiga responded with a scowl and a punch to Aomine’s shoulder, causing Aomine to yelp.

**********

Taiga headed down to the market on Christmas Eve to get all the ingredients he would need to make all the food he wanted.  He had always made a feast for his family ever since he was in America.  He remembered the first American Thanksgiving meal he made for his family, Alex, and Tatsuya with a smile.

Even as a young boy, Taiga had been interested in cooking.  He’d watch his mother chop, crack, mix, saute, bake, and dozens of more cooking techniques.  Finally one day, Taiga’s mother had invited him to cook with her.  She’d taught him to do simple things at first, like chopping vegetables, then eventually, he’d gotten to more difficult feats like separating eggs.  When he had spent those years in America, he’d learned even more techniques like making cream puffs and torching a crème brulee without burning it.

As he walked, he saw couples wandering around hand in hand, looking at the pretty Christmas lights or heading to restaurants.  He wasn’t celebrating in the Japanese manner like they were, but he was still excited to be spending the holiday with his boyfriend.

Aomine was waiting for him outside the market and together they went inside.  Taiga had a list of the things he would need for a Christmas feast for two huge eaters.  He led the way to the produce department first.  

Aomine watched with interest as Taiga checked the vegetables for freshness.  “How do you know all this stuff?”  he asked Taiga as the redhead examined a bag of potatoes.  “You’re only what, seventeen, same as me?”

“Yeah, but my mother taught me,” Taiga explained.  “She took me grocery shopping as a kid when I started cooking with her and she showed me what to check for each food.  Like potatoes should be hard when you squeeze them.”  He held out the potato to Aomine.

“Interesting,” Aomine mused while he squeezed it gently.  “Show me more, Kagami.”

Taiga showed Aomine all the techniques his mother had taught him as they went around the market getting the food they needed for the next day.  He liked being able to share his knowledge with someone he cared about.

**********

On Christmas day, Taiga woke up early and began the preparations for the turkey, knowing that it would take hours to cook fully.  After it was in the oven, he began to chop the vegetables and fruit for the side dishes, even if he wasn’t going to be cooking them for some time yet.

He was just taking the turkey out to baste it when there was a knock at the door.  He ran over to the door and let Aomine in.  Aomine took a big whiff of the year and a happy grin appeared on his face.  “That smells amazing!  I can’t wait to eat it all!”

Taiga chuckled.  “Well, it still has an hour or two left.  I’m in the middle of working on the potatoes.  You want to help me mash them?”  he asked, holding up a potato masher.

“Sure,” Aomine took the masher from him

The time passed quickly as Taiga prepared everything.  Aomine was able to help him with some simple things, for which Taiga was very grateful for.  Finally, the dinner was ready and Taiga took several trips between the kitchen and the table where Aomine was already sitting to lay it all out.

**********

It had taken Taiga hours to cook their Christmas feast, but it took a much smaller time for the two boys to eat the enormous amount of food.  Aomine burped loudly and looked over at all the plates with barely anything on them and the nearly picked clean turkey.  “That was so good, Kagami!”

Taiga grinned.  “Thanks, Aomine!”  He picked up the carving knife and removed the rest of the turkey meat.  “If you want, we can have turkey sandwiches tomorrow, too, and finish off everything.”

“Yeah, I think so,” Aomine agreed.  “I think we need to have a round of one-on-one to work off all this food.”  He patted his full belly.

Taiga laughed.  “We’d have to find an indoor court instead of our usual one since it’s so snowy out.”

Aomine wiped his mouth with a napkin.  “Seriously, if you ever decided not to play basketball or after you retire, you need to become a chef or something!”

Taiga’s jaw dropped.  “Me, a chef?  Are you serious, Aomine?”  He couldn’t deny that he hadn’t thought about it before, but he loved basketball too much to quit playing.  But it was the first time that someone other than himself had said

“Of course,” Aomine responded, then grabbed Taiga’s hands.  “Promise me that you’ll keep on cooking, Taiga, no matter what.”

“I will, Daiki” Taiga vowed.  “And promise yourself that you’ll always be there to eat it with me?”

Aomine responded by kissing Taiga on the lips.

**********

It also can’t be helped that the fact you have a crush on Kiyoshi had any impact on your decision. You shake away the memory and hope you don’t wake anyone as you exit your room to investigate the source for the sudden change of temperature in the house. You discover the heater turned off in the middle of the living room so you quickly turn it on in hopes of warming up sooner.

The darkness enveloping the room surprised you. Sure, winter mornings definitely weren’t bright, but it was so dark you could barely see a thing. You only recognized the heater because of the dull light it emitted to let it be known that it was still plugged in. You quietly felt your way along the wall until you reached the light switch, yet again hoping you don’t wake anyone as you flip it up.

Now able to see around you, your gaze fell upon the window that faces the front of the house. There’s a dark shadow imprinted against the lower half of the window, as if there’s something pressing directly against it. Walking up to the window and pushing the curtain to the side you realize that the mass seen from the shadow is all snow. Built up inches high, probably all around the house. You’re snowed in.

Snowed in? Did a blizzard hit overnight? There was nothing about it on the news. Well, at least the electricity is still working. The soft patter of feet causes you to turn around, the curtain flowing back in place to cover the window. You’re greeted by the friendly smile of Kiyoshi, his hair messy with strands sticking out, clearly he just woke up. “Morning, Pikki. You’re up early.”

Despite the slight panic rising in your chest, a small smile etched its way onto your lips. To think his bedhead would make him cuter. “Good morning Kiyoshi. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

He shakes his head as he begins heading towards the kitchen, while you take a seat on the sofa. “No, no. I usually wake up early. You know, the whole ‘the early bird catches the worm’ thing.” You glance over and catch his cheesy grin before he makes his way into the kitchen. What an idiot. “Is there anything you’d like?” His voice, clearly a little too loud, echoes from the kitchen. You chuckle, did he think you wouldn’t be able to hear him?

“No, it’s okay. Thank you, though.” You pause for a second before you speak up again, “Kiyoshi?”

His head pops out around the corner of the entranceway, maybe he heard the hesitation in your voice, since his eyes appeared softer than they normally do. “Yeah?”

“You know we’re snowed in, right?”

He chuckles and turns back around into the kitchen. Coming out soon after with two cups of tea and an iced coffee, the tea you suspected was for his grandparents. He scratches the back of his neck once he places them down, seemingly embarrassed, “Yeah, I know. I already called services to help but I don’t know when they’ll arrive.”

You can’t help but to get up and kiddingly punch his shoulder, “You could’ve told me that in the beginning, you know!”

“Could’ve told what, dear?” Kiyoshi’s grandmother, her voice soft and melodic, questions as she heads over to grab her tea and sit at the sofa, his grandfather following behind her silently.

Kiyoshi answers for you, informing his grandparents about the situation. His grandfather, who’s usually so calm and quiet, lets out a soft chuckle. “I thought you finally confessed, boy.”

His grandmother rolls her eyes, although a knowing smile is placed tenderly on her lips, “Hun, you always think that.”

“Confessed?” The word echoed off your tongue before you could even stop it. Glancing up at Kiyoshi you could see the heat rising up in his cheeks, despite giving his grandfather the hardest glare he could probably muster, which wasn’t very threatening at all. In some instances like this, he sometimes appeared like a little boy. Honestly, it was kind of cute. The giggle you’d been trying to suppress escaped and you quickly covered your mouth.

Kiyoshi turned around to face you after hearing your voice, the embarrassment he felt was written all over his face. “Ah- it’s nothing,” he mumbled, barely audible at all.

You raised an eyebrow, but you could feel the heat rise in your cheeks as well as you realize the feeling was mutual. “Don’t worry about it,” your voice softer than you expected, almost a whisper in itself.

The cheerful tone of Kiyoshi’s grandfather interrupted the awkward tension filling the air, “Well, it seems I might have done it for you.” There was a quick moment of silence before everyone bursts into laughter. Nervous, happy and relieving laughter, but laughter nonetheless. 

The slight buzzing of the television catches your attention, since when was it turned on? The newscast was saying that another short-lived blizzard is possibly going to hit tonight. You felt Kiyoshi’s hand sneak its way around to hold your own, his voice sounding the complete opposite of disappointed, “Seems like you’ll be stuck here another night. Would you like to spend Christmas day with us too?”

Akashi’s Christmas

I.

He remembered a little of what it was like, back then. The excitement of a five-year-old was tempered by his strict father, who insisted Japanese did not celebrate Christmas. It wasn’t their tradition, just a relatively new thing brought in from the West that kept gaining momentum every year.

But that one time that he could remember, it didn’t matter what his father wanted or thought.

His sweet, kind mother saw Akashi’s enthusiasm and hope, and talked and insisted that they do celebrate it after all. In a more Japanese way, but celebrate nonetheless. It might have been a Western holiday, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy it. Besides, his mother had pointed out, Akashi’s father didn’t mind Western traditions or culture, and he would, as a businessman, partake in them on occasion. It was all right to expect his family to abide more strictly by Japanese culture and traditions, but Christmas was becoming quite popular even in Japan.

It wouldn’t do for the Akashi family to be left behind, correct?

Later, Akashi would muse that his mother was, despite her gentle and mild nature, quite adept at handling his strict, stern father. It was probably why he was allowed riding so often, as well as basketball, even when he wasn’t very good at it yet. It was free time his mother had offered as much as she could, for she, too, had immense respect for her husband and didn’t defy him much.

But for that Christmas, she did, and Akashi was so grateful.

He had one day off, the Christmas day itself. The fire was crackling in the fireplace and the house smelled faintly of baked goods and cinnamon. He was allowed to sleep in for once – not for long, though, since he didn’t want to miss his free day. He had time to finish his favourite book, and there was still enough time for everything else he loved – for basketball with his mother and for a lovely ride with Yukimaru. There were even presents; a new top-quality saddle from his father and a real, actual basketball jersey from his mother, complete with his name on the back and the number 4 for the captain that he was going to grow into one day.

But the best Christmas present was the evening. He was going to have to go to bed soon, and tomorrow would be just a regular day again, Christmas and festive season perfectly ignored and his work load back. But he was happy nonetheless.

Happy because he was allowed to try on and wear his new jersey. Happy because when he walked in the room to show it off to his parents, it was to both of them, his father having stayed home instead of working. Happy because his father had time for a quick round of chess with him and didn’t mind that Akashi kept the jersey on right until he had to take a bath. Happy because he saw the brief embrace and smile his parents shared when he came to them one last time to wish them goodnight.

Happy because he knew he was loved. It had been a wonderful Christmas.

II.

He didn’t even mention the Christmas celebration after his mother passed. The grief of even thinking of her still made him want to sob and scream, and it hurt even more on Christmas. He kept his feelings to himself, and only occasionally would he still allow himself to be sad—when it was dark and he was in his room, already in bed, and the pillow absorbed the tears and the sobs, when it was so painfully clear that his mother was not going to walk into his room again, or wish him good morning when he woke the next day.

His father was away, working. The house was empty except for Akashi and the servants. Nobody came except for his tutors. It was very quiet, so Akashi practiced playing the piano and the violin, but when the lonely melody rang out, the silence returned with vengeance, intensifying that pain in his heart.

He visited Yukimaru in the stalls. The tall horse never told anyone if it happened that Akashi’s tears wet his mane during the day, nor held a grudge if his young owner was sad and didn’t take him for a ride on Christmas days after that.

Even the basketball was left in the corner, untouched until the day passed.  

III.

There came a time when he finally had no choice but to pick up a basketball even if it was Christmas. It was all right, however – time had passed and the pain in his heart lessened, to a point where he forgot and ignored it for the most part. Yukimaru still never carried his master on Christmas, but Akashi always visited him in the stall.

The basketball, however, was well in use. It wasn’t the same one from way back then; that one had long been replaced by countless others he practiced with. Since he’d started going to Teiko, there was no time to slack off with basketball, especially when you were a first-stringer with a miraculously good team.

It felt a little bit like a Christmas miracle when Akashi watched the basketball bounce off the rim of the basket because Aomine has once again made Kise’s shot miss. It wasn’t because that particular thing happened – Aomine won against Kise all the time.

It was because everyone was smiling, even him (though it was small, private, something only Midorima noticed). There was no tension and no need to play to win – this was mere tomfoolery because they all loved basketball, the thrill, the camaraderie Nijmura-senpai was trying to cultivate between them. This was for fun.

“I’m all out of snacks,” Murasakibara said. “Let’s go eat.”

“Well, it’s Christmas, so… KFC?” Kise asked after he got his panting under control.

“Sure,” Aomine replied, “but since you lost, you’re paying for me.”

“Oi, Aominecchi! Why would I do that?”

“Well, it’s Christmas. It’s gonna be your present for me, since you didn’t get me anything else and I just kicked your ass in basket.”

“You don’t have anything for me, either!”

“Tch! I just played basketball with you because you asked me to. I was gonna win, there was nothing in it for me… so now pay up.”

“Aominecchi!!”

Kise’s whines mixed with Aomine’s teasing drawl and eventually prompted an all-out bickering among everyone as they gathered their things and got ready for their Christmas food excursion.

Akashi observed them, a fond smile on his lips. There was no pain that Christmas. It wasn’t perfect, the team around him wasn’t perfect, but it was a Christmas miracle in and off itself – Akashi had found his happiness again, someone to share Christmas with.

When he went to bed that day, the house was still empty and silent. Akashi’s smile dampened, but wasn’t gone completely, especially not when he dreamt of playing with his miraculous team again soon.

IV.

It didn’t last. His happiness on Christmas wasn’t even replaced by bitterness in the end – the whole core of who Akashi thought he was ended up replaced.

Momoi came by that Christmas, visited him in his house.

“A-Akashi-kun, I… everyone, everything has been so different lately, but they all still listen to you… It’s Christmas, and I thought… we could get everyone together? Play some basketball, get something to eat from KFC?”

“Why would we do that, Satsuki?” Akashi heard himself say, watching from somewhere inside his head as someone who was and wasn’t him stared Momoi down, a cruel smirk on his lips that Akashi couldn’t find the strength to erase.

“Well, I thought…” she trailed off, but the Akashi, the him that was not him, enjoyed not giving her a moment to let her gather her thoughts and words.

‘Silly girl,’ he heard in his head as his lips moved.

“Do you find our usual practice lacking? Are the results not to the liking of the school?”

“No, no!” He saw tears gather in her eyes, but he – the he that wasn’t he – deliberately kept staring her down, putting all the contempt in that gaze and enjoying his superiority. He would demonstrate why it was utterly foolish to bother him with silly ideas on Christmas.

A twisted part of him wondered if he should consider doing this, after all. Getting everyone on the first-string team to gather and play on Christmas, on Christmas that was Sunday, would be absolute control.

But he already knew that if he demanded, they would come and practice and play, and then they would go back home. There was nothing to prove and no point in calling everyone up.

“I just… I wanted us to have some fun together again. The way we used to,” Momoi finally said.

“That is a foolish notion. The team functions as it is. Basketball does not need to be fun for us to win, and there is no need to try and make it such. We have the results we want, we are the best, and that’s it, Satsuki.”

He closed the door and ignored the desperation that caused her to let out a tiny sob right before he walked away.

Christmas was quiet again, but this time, Akashi observed from elsewhere, form somewhere inside his head, and it didn’t bother him very much. In fact, life was quite bearable in this way, the hurts easier to carry. Perhaps this horrible mistake of this other him being in charge wasn’t such a mistake, after all.

V.

It wasn’t until later, much, much later, that Christmas stopped being silent for Akashi.

It got worse before it got better.

His loss to Kuroko shattered his protection from Christmas silence and pain overall. He and his other self eventually reconciled and became one again, but the hurt didn’t disappear.

He had teammates again, and friends, and they chased a lot of things away.

But Christmas… was still lonely and painful with its silence and emptiness. Oh, there was company at some point on a Christmas day, with friends and teammates exchanging presents. But eventually, he would return home and… and the memory of his friends was warm, but he still wished he wasn’t so alone as soon as he was gone from their company.

They returned to families and girl- and boyfriends. He returned to a cold house.

And eventually, as years passed, to his own apartment, the one his father insisted he had to try and live in on his own, grow up entirely. Since he was a college student now, he was happy to do that, even if he wasn’t close to Yukimaru anymore. His equine companion had gotten old, but he was still in good shape.  

As he moved out, he realized that although it was in some ways easier to breathe, he could still feel the loneliness bear down on him sometimes. It… it was getting better all the time, however.

He had learned to live and thrive and found happiness, alone or not.

Just… Christmas would rub it in his face how empty his life was and could still be.

But it was all right. It was.

And then one Christmas eve, the prospect of a Christmas day was suddenly a thing that made Akashi nervous, but happy.

Some time after the game with Jabberwock, Nijimura-senpai dropped by in Rakuzan’s gym.

There was a lot of talking and a lot of catching up to do, but then they had years now. It turned out Nijimura-senpai’s father was more or less all right, but still had bad periods where he would wind up in hospital. His overall health was under control, however, and Nijimura-senpai was considering starting to play basketball more seriously again, now that he was in college.

So they started to keep in touch more and more, bonding anew over basketball. It so happened Akashi ended up seeing Nijimura-senpai’s games, especially against team STRKY, and perhaps start giving pointers. In turn, Nijimura-senpai might have started suggesting how to make the competitive spirit in Rakuzan more manageable, how to make the Uncrowned Kings play nice even without absolute intimidation and make everyone understand why teamplay mattered.

If short meetings started to last until evenings, they hardly noticed. If an occasional meet-up turned very regular, neither commented.

It was, overall, very anticlimactic. Very… natural and calm. Dignified, even, although Nijimura kind of snorted at that.

According to him, there was nothing dignified about falling asleep leaning and drooling on each other after watching the best NBA games, and cuddling into each other because it was warmer that way and they were too out of it to wake up and get blankets instead.

There was also nothing dignified about beginning to blush whenever the other one so much as sneezed, or about the soft, quiet exchange of confessions, or Akashi’s fumbling due to having no clue how to be affectionate. Akashi knew his lack of skill in the area, so to say, was hurting Nijimura to some degree – it was a reminder of Akashi’s difficult life, the lack of affection he had had.

And it was even worse because they couldn’t joke about it – Akashi was just no good at that.

But as it happened, neither was willing to back off or give up. It was new, having such support from another person. It made Akashi feel… warm. He thought he remembered the feeling from very long ago.

Step after step, some wounds Akashi carried still began to heal. Fleeting meetings of lips, firm embraces, adoring, fond gaze; they always eased something inside Akashi that he didn’t know was there, and it felt so good.

He trusted Nijimura. Shūzō.

And so he allowed that trust to ease the lack of control whenever his former captain decided to be more forward, more decisive and make plans, even if Akashi thought they’d be uncomfortable and difficult.

In fact, it was one thing he had to learn, it was that they were equals in their precious thing, and Nijimura – Shūzō – was unwilling to obey Akashi’s every word, even if he respected him. It was… a new concept, one that made Akashi’s life easier once it became second nature.

It even made him feel… safe. Sometimes, it was… better, to have someone else in control.

So even though he was uneasy, he went along this time. He knew Shuzo was well aware of his unease, and they actually talked about it at length. The older man would always have his back, and he knew he could lean on him whenever he needed. But he was still a bit preoccupied.

This was going to be their first Christmas together. The rest were spent apart for one reason or another, with one of them being away accompanying their fathers either to the hospital or on a business trip. There were brief Skype sessions, naturally, but… it wasn’t the same.

And this year, finally, they were together in Akashi’s apartment, even putting up a Christmas tree (Shūzō’s insistence) and eating at KFC (Akashi’s reminiscing on that Christmas with then-Teiko teammates prompted a trip to the crowded place).

But this wasn’t what was on Akashi’s mind. Shūzō, if he noticed, didn’t say anything until they sat down on the floor in front of the tree on Christmas eve, looking at it and its sparkling lights, feeling wonderfully full after the deliciously unhealthy dinner.

“You’re thinking quite loudly, Akashi-kun.” Shūzō wore a small smile when he said it, and he didn’t remove his gaze from the tree, but Akashi knew he was perfectly focused on him and his response. The statement, even slightly teasing as it was, was still a prompt, as well as a promise. If Akashi needed to talk more, if he needed support, Shūzō was there.

It always made it easier to open his mouth.

“I…” Akashi considered making a joke, but smiled and shook his head slightly. He really would never get the hang of having a good, funny comeback in such situations.

“I was just thinking about tomorrow, that’s all.”

“Yes?”

“Yukimaru is quite old, you know.”

At that, Shūzō did turn to face him fully.

“It will be all right. If he cannot carry you, he will still be glad you visited. But I have a feeling he will happily carry his owner even through all this snow.”

“Hm.”

“And you get to watch me make a complete fool of myself as I try to elegantly ride alongside you and fail miserably. I’ve never ridden before.”

“Well, I’m glad there’s so much snow. Softer landing.”

Shūzō looked at him as if he grew a second head and snorted.

“You actually made a joke! And it was funny! Well… almost funny.”

Akashi smiled as he was pulled close and felt his hair get ruffled.

“I try. I… There’s a Christmas tradition we haven’t tried yet, you know.” He felt his cheeks heat up a bit as Shūzō let him go and gave him a fond, if curious look.

“Just a moment…” With that, Akashi disappeared to the balcony and fetched the branch of the plant he had put there.

“Huh?” Shūzō didn’t seem to be getting it.

“It’s a mistletoe,” Akashi explained.

“Uhuh.”

The other was curious as Akashi sat down right next to him again and held up the green thing right above them.

“Apparently, when two people are under it, they have to kiss.”

“They do, huh?” Shūzō gave him a knowing, amused look. Akashi nodded, assuming the most serious face he could muster in that moment. “Well,” Shūzō said, “best not to ignore that tradition, then. Perhaps it might bring us bad luck or something, and I, for one, can’t afford that tomorrow.”

Akashi snorted, but then their lips met and the world stood still as the clock showed midnight. That soft, gentle brush of lips melted away Akashi’s nervousness about tomorrow, about meeting everyone and playing basketball, about going riding with Yukimaru and Shūzō, about having a day off he needed and deserved.

It would be all right.

The kiss ended, but the feeling intensified. Shūzō was gazing into his eyes and not pulling away from Akashi in any way. He smiled at Akashi.

“Merry Christmas, Seijūrō.”

Red eyes sparkled as they held the other’s gaze, and soft lips stretched into a brilliant smile.

“Merry Christmas, Shūzō.”