#kittyinferno

Jeremy sat by the window, headphones with music on and his feet rested on the window sill, crossed over by his ankles. He stared out as he drowned himself in the song, his hands in his lap wringing itself dry. Lara walked into the room, a coffee cup in hand but the state of Jeremy made he stop in the middle of the room. She was contemplating whether his silence was a good or bad thing. Placing the cup on the nearby table, she walked over to him and crouched in front of him, motioning to his headphones asking him silently if it was ok for her to take them off. A small nod later, she gently took them off and placed them to the side as he carefully took his feet off the window sill and placed them on the floor.

“Honey, are you ok?”she asked him in a whisper, her hands reached out to take his.

“I’m fine,” he answered though the faraway look in his eyes and the tone of his voice told her otherwise. Her hand grazed his pulse point, making him look her in the eyes.

“You’re staring off at nothing and your pulse is racing…something is wrong. Please talk to me…” she stated, slowly begging him to open up. She knew from experience that it may take awhile for him to do so, because damn it the roles had always been reversed and it always took her at least a couple of hours to say anything. He sat staring at both your hands and his, intertwined in his lap and he started to wonder if what he felt was normal, or if it was going to stay with him forever.

“I don’t…I guess….I’m not well…” he stumbled through the sentence, not sure of what to say or how to express himself.

“It’s about the baby isn’t it?” she guessed and the panic look that crossed his face answered the question for her. A couple days ago, they had found out that she was pregnant and they both played it out as though they were happy about it, but they both knew that there was slight fear behind the happiness. Not a word had been said until now.

“It’s ok to feel scared and happy at the same time, it just means that you want what’s best for our child even before it’s born,” she whispered, thumb rubbing the back of his hands soothingly.

“But what if I screw up? What if I’m not a great father to the kid?” he let out a shaky breath as his whole body trembled with a nervous shiver.

“This is our first child Jeremy, there’s always a chance that we’re going to screw something up. Hell, name me any parent who hasn’t screwed up in their life! That’s the whole point, we mess up we learn from it…” she explained with determination in her voice. She reached out a hand to cup his face so that he was looking at her.

“If you’re scared about this, then how do you think I feel? I can never do this without you, you’re my anchor and our child will be yours. We’re going to be ok, we’ve got each other and we’ll do all of it together…you’re not alone sweetie, we’re not alone,” tears formed in both their eyes and Jeremy pulled Lara up and onto his lap. She pressed her forehead to his and they stayed like that for awhile, his hand absentmindedly going up and down her back.

“I’m sorry…” she heard him whisper and she was quick to stop him.

“It’s not your fault, everybody gets first time jitters. Just don’t hide yourself anymore…please…”