The baleens loosely have three genders, as humans see things. Givers (male), Carriers (female), and Duals (NB/genderfluid).
So, how do the baleens see gender? Not exactly as fluid, but of the three big groups of baleens, the Mist Desert tends to be in the middle ground towards swapping things around. Just as long as you do your best to look the part. A carrier switching to a giver presentation is fine. But they are still expected to work for and with the community. And this could include still having buds if their family needs it. Givers switching to being carriers have it slightly easier - they can still 'carry' young after they are born, but will need help preparing food from the carrier parent for the babies. Or, something like a nursemaid, when there are situations where buds have been abandoned or the mother had died.
In more supportive families, tusks will often be carved, or harnesses woven, and given as a gift and a sign of acceptance. Or, tusk caps can be carved and made very ornate, to show how loved the member is.
For those who may be kicked out, they consider making their own markers of gender as a show of pride and strength. There are some traveling groups who do their best to pick up 'strays' like this, and help them find their place with other families.
Sometimes a tusk set will be passed down for generations in family groups, until they are needed or wanted again.
Tundra baleen tend to be much stricter with their gender roles. Switching can happen among families who live along the borders or trade routes, but the further into the ice and snow you get, the more pressure there is to stick to one or the other. (None of this nonbinary nonsense, you're a Giver or a Carrier.)
Mangrove Baleens are live-and-let live. Who cares what they call you, he, she, it, they, can you cook a good meal? Can you fix up a house? Are you good with a spear? Do they kids like you? That's what matters more.
Now, the reason Giver baleens will cap their tusks when switching to present as Carriers instead of fully removing them is to prove they aren't a criminal, and that this also wasn't accidental. (De-tusking is a punishment! And when accidents happen, they often keep at least one tusk if they can.)
The makeup worn by both genders to match their roles is a mix of sand and ground up, dried plants carefully dusted over their faces. They aren't expected to paint their whole bodies, but some of the more dedicated do so, or wear special cloth covers.
Nonbinary Baleens, the punks of this world, rarely settle down except into the most accepting of groups or at extreme old age. They tend to fall into a sort of "wandering bard/tale teller/merchant/itinerant teacher" role. Very valued, but not fully expected to be settled or stay put. Flashy colors, some not matching nature, make up their style of dress. As well as having a variety of gender markers to keep things nebulous.