#kit rossi

there wasn’t anything wrong with it and kit didn’t really know how to approach the topic. because nate deserved the freedom to be whatever he was without judgment. it was just…

kit needed  sex. and realizing — actually accepting — that he and nate would never be compatible in that way felt like the death of something.

after another few minutes of quiet breathing, nate said, “...what do you mean trial and error?”

and, okay, no. kit could only take so much before he couldn’t bite his tongue anymore. “nate...” he meant to say something profound, something to enlighten and absolutely change nathan keyes’ outlook on life. something that could open the door -- the possibility -- of more between them. finally.

but what he said was, “i could blow you right now. just say the word... you might like it. and then you’d know.”

so, of course, nate laughed. like it was a joke. and without missing a beat, he said, “i wouldn’t.” he shrugged. “i don’t like that, actually.”

kit blinked at him, running the words back through his head. “you mean, because it’d be a guy doing it?” he asked it slowly, trying to clarify.

but nate said, “no. i mean at all.” he shrugged again. “so it wouldn’t really be a good test.”

“how could you not like-” kit stopped himself, coming up short. all he could seem to do was keep blinking. and then, “i could maybe understand not liking to be the one giving. but getting?... everyone likes...” well, okay, not everyone. not, like, asexuals or gray-

oh.

“it’s not whatever,” nate contradicted quietly. “my dad left us too. and it sucked watching my mom go through that and being helpless... you know? that’s why i try to do whatever i can to make her proud of me.” 

he was beginning to realize that all this time his mind — and his heart — had been holding out hope for nate. even though he kept telling everyone that nate wasn’t gay and that he believed nate… he hadn’t actually believed himself.

he kept thinking that nate would realize, would have some kind of hallelujah moment, would come to the sudden realization that he wanted kit. that, eventually, all this sexual tension had to lead somewhere.

only now did he realize that it didn’t have to.

maybe nate had been totally transparent with kit. not just maybe — but probably. because it seemed like not only did nate not want to have sex with kit… he didn’t really want to have sex with anybody. kit had been living in this house with nate for months and in all that time nate hadn’t complained about missing sex. ever.

and he certainly hadn’t had any. 

maybe nate was asexual.

not aromantic — obviously — he lived for cuddles. but just…

“yeah? does it make me gay if i’m in love with a homosexual, you think?”

“you’re up early. i wanted to lay in bed with you.” nate’s disappointed voice rang through and kit almost startled as he felt arms wrap around him from behind. that dip in his stomach at nate’s words was normal, at least. the guy could say the most provocative things sometimes without realizing it. couple that with nate’s warmth bleeding into kit’s back, the security of the embrace, the comfort of it… and kit was a fucking goner. that was nothing new.

but then nate dipped his head against the curve of kit’s neck and fucking dragged several kisses along the skin. was that normal? nate had to realize what he was doing to kit when he said, “mmm. you smell good.” right?… had to.