#kiramon

Person A: GODAMMIT

Personality: A quiet achiever. Some would say he's a lone wolf, but he's a bird. He loves to battle, and wont stop till he wins

I haven't had enough time to myself lately. When there are other people around constantly pestering me during the little time I have it ignites a flame. I bottle it up until they tip me off the deep end. So I blew up this evening (tears mostly & silent fury). I hate when I get this way. It's the only thing I know to do when in emotional overload. All these feelings rushing at me. There's stress about college, where I'm going to stay since my dad lost our home and I'm at my grandmother's on the couch since my room there is now storage, my dad not doing what he needs to, all if us living at my grandmothers, her always fussing about my dads other children she has to watch, no food to eat because she doesn't allow people in her kitchen, not being able to see friends, no car, no job, no life, fear of what my life could become, what I want to major in,where I'll transfer to, if I should apply for jobs while on break. I can't process them and they make it worse by asking me questions. I can't explain what I'm feeling verbally without having time to process. I am aware there is no organization to this post but what I'm feeling is chaos. I'm posting this here because I have no one to talk to that I feel cares but I'm sure you won't care either. I wanted to get this off my chest.

Let me tell you a pet peeve of mine. I despise it when anyone tells me "you're not really black you're white." It makes me cringe. One cannot act a color. You can be this color according to race but not act it. It's all a bunch of stereotyping. I am neither an "Oreo" nor "trapped in a black girls body." People like me get enough backlash for our skin. Society doesn't want us to be a certain way but when we don't act it we are criticized. I admit agreeing to it at times where I wasn't secure enough in myself to voice my discontent. But in the past year or two I found my voice. To my friends, family, and everyone in general please stop. It is not ok.

nO