He fakes a smile at them, despite him wanting to at least let the sides of his mouth stretch and his teeth form, âItachi Uchiha. If this is how you want to go about things that involve the children and who gets custody of them, then we need to have a serious talk.âÂ
âAs grateful as I am for you sparing and saving my life in the past, but the children had come a long way from their old life with their thankfully deceased abusive father who I am trying to help them recover from the traumatic experience from it. And the last thing they need is to go to someone who doesnât have a proper income to support or feed all of them or worst. Raise them to become weapons or be put to work because their ârelativeâ says so.âÂ
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@kinslain , continued from { here }, because dumblr hates me.
a WASTE? had he been privy to the otherâs thoughts, Hidanâs glee would have undoubtedly boiled over, instantaneously morphing into wrath ( a disastrous outburst ; the sort that soaks the whole of your vision in blood, leaving no room for inconsequential matters such as rationality ). in truth, few things can claw their way through to Hidanâs softer, more vulnerable parts, enough to cause him genuine upset. one is the ( idiotic, yet common ) claim so many make ( sometimes even believing it to be true ) : that they could, would, cut his life short( laughable! ). and the other is. . .. . .. . . . Â you see, the deceptive sloppiness, the deceptive lack of planning ( as if it were uncoordinated, unmethodical, just a fortuitous happenstance ) weâre at the very core of his fighting style. a purposefully guided dance, fueled by provocation ( so easy ). a honeyed trap, a false sense of security leading you to place a hand inside the wolfâs maw, willingly.
the fallout from having such an affront, spoken aloud, . . . well. it would have been rather⊠problematic. but fortuitously, Hidan is no mind-reader, and Itachi chooses not to speak of it ( utterly boring, how the only cloth Uchihas seemed to be cut from was smart. well. if the past is to be believed. it isnât as if they were all that numerous anymore. whose fault is that?? )  instead, he allows Hidan the enjoyment of this battle, at least for a little while. and enjoy it, Hidan does ( laughing, his grin genuine and unfaltering ). and clearly, heâs proud enough  âand this is not, for once, misguided arroganceâof his skills to not mind an audience ( which is to say: he pays it no heed to Itachi whatsoever, his aim being neither to impress nor to obfuscate any attempt at analysis. he doesnât really care, one way or another. after all, each murderous dance is its own weaving, based on a foundation of improvisation and scrutiny. unique.)
be quick! ââ ugh! Itachi was truly a poster child for common sense ( boring sense ).
the Uchiha's voice carries, despite its unhurried and not particularly harsh modulation. and despite not being called to by name, Hidan catches its drift upon the wind and turns to it as one would to a chime. he toys around with the idea of not acknowledging the call, if only to prove a point to Red Eyes. ( see, I'm not your dog ). and yet, after a split-second of contemplation, he discards it. in two swift hops, he lands by Itachi's side, the tip of his sandals resting quite comfortably upon the injured shinobi's ribcage, the three-bladed scythe lowered uncomfortably close to the face of that body-soon-to-be-a-corpse. it twitches in response. Hidan clicks his tongue, and presses his foot in harder, although his attention remains upon his supposed partner. it's strange to be reminded, from the sudden proximity, that their heights are relatively the same ( their ages, too, and thatâs right about where the parallels end, if one is iffy about including the slaughter of oneâs family into the mix ; even Hidanâs loose tongue avoided any mentions, until now. itâs just that the Uchihas were rather infamous. )Â âââ Â thus, it makes it easy for him to stare the other Akatsuki member right in the eye. unblinking. unwavering magenta gaze to endlessly dark pools.
Hidanâs mouth quirks, just for a moment.
well, well, well. Red Eyes was looking just a touch worse for wear. that was. . . . interesting. yet in the aftermath of curiosity came frustration, and in its footsteps, bile. was he really trying to force Hidan's hand into babysitting his idiotic ass? fucking damn it. while Hidan wouldnât, in all truth ( and the truth is so relative, so subjective, so malleable and prone to change. truth is plasticine in the shinobi world ) slay a ( supposed ) ally ( that he cared little for ) â he was not opposed to standing by idly as they expired.
( shinobi die all the time, after all. he can merely remind dear leader of this FACT if any questions were to arise. )
still. odd. Itachi canât possibly have been dumb enough to use any taxing jutsu, let alone Tsukuyomi or its ilk, for no reason whatsoever. . . .. could he? ( why would he!? ) a frown etches itself into Hidans features, a companion to the displeased turn of his mouth.  ( he has an unclear notion of how much of Itachis chakra may be consumed by such use â but he has enough sense to know that one of the most powerful genjutsu in existence would, by necessity, impose some amount of drain on its user. had he not told him to sit. it. the. fuck. down? Jashin grant him some fucking patience before he kicks the idiot in the shin. or impales him and leaves him as feed for wildlife. )
he doesnât have much time.
( he hasnât forgotten the warning, nor been oblivious to Itachiâs attempt to guide his hand. once the initial spike of adrenaline, of alarm that knifed him through the gut, subsided, the thought of it makes him snicker. )
he doesnât have much time.
â . .. .hmm. do YOU? â a taunt. laughter ( steeped in cruelty, its sharp edges still curling the corners of Hidanâs mouth into unforgiving lines ) may not be spilling from his lips just then, but it clings to the feverish light at the back of his eyes. itâs a barely-covert message, dripping with intent. but this time, Hidan raises no weapon in the proximity of Itachi's throat. count your blessings, weasel. instead, he extends his free hand towards the other. almost solicitously. almost. the movement is certainly both languid and careless, even as his fingers spread out, palm up, as if testing for raindrops. ( blooddrops. well, just in case Itachiâs body decided to give up on him, and bleed all over with little to no reason. how fucking amusing that would be. . . ⊠. )
â I could always put you out of your misery, I-ta-chi. you'd be a worthwhile replacement~ â
send a ship and âȘ and Iâll post a mini playlist ( meme ) / @kinslain
i see we're playing in hardmode now, because their relationship is truly undefinable. but here, since you also asked for music recs, I've gone a different route, and this is now a full-blown playlist (you can find here ; listen to it in order or else). it's a bit funny. . . these two are incredibly different, personality-wise, but they have some strange parallels when you stop to think about it. I loved making this.
explanations of song choices & lyrics below the cut.
1. darkside by neoni.   there's parts of me I cannot hide. . .. I've tried and tried a million times. cross my heart and hope to die: welcome to my darkside! take a step into the havoc, look around. . .. this ain't even the half of it. walking the line between panic and losing my mind.Â
present time/Akatsuki timeline. applies to both, imo, and it makes for a nice opening song to the whole playlist.
2.  mad hatter by melanie martinez.  I'm peeling the skin off my face 'cause I really hate being safe! the normals? they make me afraid. the crazies? they make me feel sane. I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad, the craziest friend that you've ever had. you think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone, tell the psychiatrist something is wrong. ( . . .. ) so what if I'm crazy? the best people are! ( . .. ) &I think you're crazy too, I know you're gone ; that's probably the reason that we get along.
present time/Akatsuki timeline. Hidan pov. I mean, I wouldn't trust him with this, but he does derive great enjoyment from pretending to be a little ( or a lot ) insane around Itachi. ( emphatic gesturing to our current thread. ) he finds the game quite fun. what, don't you pretend to be nuts and stab-happy around people?? hahaha I might stab youuuu: what better way to bond???
3. gasoline by halsey. are you insane like me? been in pain like me? bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me? just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me? ( . . . ) and all the people say: you can't wake up, this is not a dream. you're part of a machine, you are not a human being.
timeline sort of jumps between the present and the past, highlighting cause and effect. general pov, but also Hidan pov. pretty self-explanatory, but here's where the parallels start.quite a few songs in this playlist are centered around how life as shinobi shaped them. this is certainly one of them. the last few lines above murder me, especially from a childhood perspective when the realization first hits, as they enter the system.
4. warriors by imagine dragons.  as a child, you would wait and watch from far away, but you always knew that you'll be the one to work while they all play. in youth, you'd lay awake at night and scheme of all the things you that would change . . .. but it was just a dream. here we are, don't turn away now. we are the warriors that built this town.
childhood retrospective. I think it's pretty self-explanatory but just want to highlight the disillusionment and mindfuckery they had to go through with the shinobi system. Itachi's.... is selfevident. but Hidan maybe not so. I'll say it here, baby Hidan was a good bean. he wanted to do right by his village and serve it properly; he had big, naive dreams. then they made him into a weapon and tossed him tothe wayside, erasing his whole sense of purpose. ( but a shinobi is a shino is a shinobi, y'know. . .. )
5. natural by imagine dragons.  that's the price you pay, leave behind your heart and cast it away, just another product of today ( . .. ) 'cause you're a natural. a beating heart of stone. you gotta be so cold to make it in this world. yeah, you're a natural. living your life cutthroat. yeah, you're a natural.
childhood retrospective. ah yes, speaking of being made into a weapon. the fact that 'oh you're a natural' is being emphasized over and over in this song just kills me. they were children! they were beaten and forged and shaped into this! (especially itachi, oh god.)
6. end of the world by arcando.  and if we're going down, we're going down fighting. . .. like it's the end of the world. sleep when you're dead because we've come too far to waste it. hanging by a thread. time to rise! we cannot break so hold the line.
self-explanatory, just give it a listen~Â
7. in the army now by status quo. you're in the army now, oh, you're in the army now. you'll be the hero of the neighbourhood . .. .. nobody knows that you've left for good! ( you're in the army now. ) ( .... ) you've got your orders better shoot on sight, your finger's on the trigger but it don't seem right ( you're in the army now!! )
if i had to choose one song in this whole playlist, this would be IT, for both of them. . . ..  yes, again with the trauma of the shinobi life and the point of no return. just give it a listen. the vibes are frighteningly real.
8. blood / water by grandson.  we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter. what you gonna' do when there's blood in the water...? the price of your greed is your son and your daughter . . .. .what you gona do when there's blood in the water?
general pov regarding the cost and consequences of the shinobi system and their fuckery. the song is too self-explanatory to warrant further blah blah blah on my part, I think.
9. angry too by lola blanc. I don't know how to be just standing by blankly not getting angry! 'cause another and another coming up out of the gutter 'til I'm drowning in an ocean of entitled motherfuckers. and they're pushing all my buttons ( ... ) does it get your blood boiling? does it make you see red? do you wanna destroy it? does it get in your head? 'cause it gets my blood boiling, and I'm coming unglued. it would eat you like poison if you knew what I knew. . .. you would be angry too!
present & past timeline, mostly Hidan's pov. you will have to tell me how much this applies to Itachi, but I can tell you that Hidan has a whole lot of built up anger and resentment towards his village, especially he village elders, the hypocrisy and mindgames and bullshit and pain they put him (and others) though for their own personal gain and political games.
10. savages by marina and the diamonds.  I'm not the only one who finds it hard to understand. . . .I'm not afraid of God, I am afraid of man. is it running in our blood? is it running in our veins? is it running in our genes? Is it in our DNA....? humans aren't gonna behave as we think we always should. yeah, we can be bad as we can be good. ( underneath it all, we're just savages. )
let's throw in a healthy dose of disillusionment with people and humanity, why not.
11. villain of my own story by unlike pluto. fuck all the people sitting pretty with their sane minds. fuck, think I'm becoming the villain of my story.
and with themselves, how about that? but, of course, Hidan routinely circumvents facing this by dedicating himself to his god. y'know. purpose! doing the right thing. salvation is such a great thing!
12. killer in the mirror by set it off.  now I know.... there's no one I can trust. I used to think there was. tell me that I'm cutthroat, I think you got your eyes closed. feel the fear and swallow back the tears, let weakness disappear. there's nobody but me here. . .. the killer in the mirror. ( 'cause I used to believe in justice . . .. a place where there was better judgment. but now I'm feeling so disgusted. )
if I had to choose a SECOND song. . .. the disillusionment, the realizations, the brutality of coming face to face with reality versus idealism. the slow murder of the self by others and themselves. I'm fine, you're fine, this is fiiiiine. ahaha. . .. :)
13. 8 legged dreams by unlike pluto.  when I go to sleep at night, eight-legged dreams arise. cobwebs in my eyes. never, never gonna wake up. stuck in a web of lies, paralyzed like a fly . .. . spiders don't sleep at night ( never, never gonna wake up. )
oh. this one... this one, I will leave to you to interpret as you choose~ but I imagine it applies to both of them.
14. we don't have to dance by andy black. you're never gonna get it, I'm a hazard to myself. I'll break it to you easy: this is hell, this is hell. you're looking and whispering, you think I'm someone else . . . this is hell, yes I am in hell. we don't have to talk, we don't have to dance, we don't have to smile, we don't have to make friends. it's so nice to meet you, let's never meet again! we don't have to talk, we don't have to dance.
present timeline/Akatsuki. both of their perspectives. they don't have to talk, they don't have to dance, okay?? lol. but this is more figurative than literal, about keeping people at arm's length, about them not knowing you beyond a front despite what they might think, about never letting them close enough to form any genuine bond. about bearing the weight of life in silence, by yourself.
15. everything black by unlike pluto. baby, you should come with me . .. . I'll take you to the dark side. me and you - you and me. do bad things in the nighttime. baby, you should come with me. and we can kill the lights, hit the lights, let it blackout, blackout.
present timeline/Akatsuki, Hidan's pov. I can practically hear Hidan going 'yeah, let me teach you how to live a little, Red Eyes' at Itachi in this song. but also, given the whole black theme, this is... certainly a little sinister, isn't it. idk, enjoyment in murder? ffs.
16. animal impulses by IAMX.  there's a cold breeze blowing over my soul, shine razor eyes in delight. shine razor eyes before you die, shine razor eyes in this light. there's a cold wind blowing over my soul.
the whole song is a mood due to its melody alone, but especially its sweetly sad melancholy.Â
17. anthem by yonaka. if I told you that you could be anythin' you wanted. . .. would you take those words and make it mean something? ( . .. . ) well, I heard it on the radio that we could be somebody now and we could rule the world.
current timeline/Akatsuki.  if they had any actual friendship points, this is a conversation that Hidan would, in fact, throw at him, albeit likely under a very thick veneer of sarcasm.
18. thoughts & prayers by grandson. no thoughts and no prayers can bring back what's no longer there. the silent are damned. the body count is on your hands. ( turn off all the lights, nobody make a sound. ashes to ashes. . . . we all... fall... down. )
and we're all damned (all the mistakes, all the irreversible changes spurred on by forced and willing choices. no spinning the clock backwards. this is it, and there is no turning back from all the mess you've made). cue closing curtain.
@kinslain wrote:âYouâre up early,â he remarks, his tone carrying a hint of accusation. Actually, Sasuke isnât up any earlier than usual. Itachi has simply lost track of time. And now, here he is, using the door and his body to block the birthday boyâs access to the kitchen. âYou need to go somewhere else for a while.â
Thereâs a distinct smell of burnt sugar in the air, flour dusting Itachiâs hair, and panic rising slowly in his eyes. The oven pings and he mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like a curse before slamming the door shut on Sasukeâs face.
There's something odd in the way Itachi projected himself ; the young Uchiha never could decipher what exactly went through the elder's mind but it was clear that he was hiding something. It was around the usual time Sasuke would wake & wander down to the kitchen, expecting to see their Mother making breakfast but instead was met by his brother blocking the very entrance. â Whatcha doin'? â His curiosity lead him attempting to peak past his leg, trying to get a glimpse of what exactly Itachi was failing to hide from prying eyes.
The flour & burnt sugar were far enough a dead give away, but that correlation was soon cut short by the door being slammed in his face. â Nii-san! â Puffing his cheeks in mild irritation, Sasuke knew if he stood by the door any longer than he should, he'd be no sooner finding his answer.
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / Iâm asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i donât like them / i donât trust them / they annoy me / theyâre weird / Iâm indifferent / meh / they seem alright / theyâre growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / Iâm not sure if I trust them / I trust them / theyâre cool / theyâre genuine / I think weâre going to get along / I really like them / I think Iâm in love / oh fuck theyâre hot / I love them / I'd sacrifice them to Jashin.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i donât like them / i donât trust them / they annoy me / theyâre weird / Iâm indifferent / meh / they seem alright / theyâre growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / Iâm not sure if I trust them / I trust them / theyâre cool / theyâre genuine / I think weâre going to get along / I really like them / I think Iâm in love / oh fuck theyâre hot / I love them.
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When Hidan retires to his room for the night, heâll come across a small, innocuous box resting on his pillows. Inside the box, buried beneath layers of crushed velvet and nestled within a custom indent, lies a dildo. Not just any old dildo, but a multi-faceted, kunzite coloured, glass one, so Hidan can essentially go fuck himself. It is, of course, accompanied by a note that simply reads:
HBD, Itachi x
oh hey, another box! Hidanâs ( kneejerk )  irritation at having his living space invaded  ââa distinct case of do not do onto others as you would have them do onto you; for when had he refrained from barging into anotherâs quarters merely because he felt like it, because he was bored, because he decided that he required something, right then and there, right now, immediately? ââ bends its knee at the feet of sheer curiosity. so itâs with a raised brow that he saunters over to pick it up. itâs the note that he reads first ( the twin feelings of puzzlement and apprehension only expanding within the pit of his stomach at the name. aaalllriiiiight. . . .. Itachi, huh? how. . ..  âŠ.unforeseen. a pleasant surprise? a doomsday indication? haha, the latter would be oh so much fun! )
                               . . .
for a moment, for a unique rare moment in his life, Hidan is rendered speechless.
sat down ( with an oomph sort of exhale ) on the edge of his bed, Hidan stares at the contents of his box. the dildo stares back. Hidan stares harder! the dildo ( itâs a fucking dildo! ) stares back ( it actually matches his fucking eyes!! ). they stare at each other in silence. you could hear a pin drop. ( Hidan apparently forgets the mechanisms through which his body snaps his mouth shut, thus his lower jaw just hangs thereâ )
      processing---
but then, it hits him. the mental picture of primp and proper, prissy-faced Uchiha acquiring such an item. ha ha. hahaha. the thought makes him giggle, a hand splaying across his face as he shakes with the onslaught of outright, loud laughter. itâs the best imaginary landscape heâs been faced with all day, and Hidan enjoys it for all itâs worth ( prim and proper Itachi, casually strolling down a long, long lane filled with various dildos of creative shapes and sizes, just to select the right oneâ )
and really, you know what? he finds it quite pretty to look at  ( the real meaning behind it drops quite later on.  FUCK YOU TOO, UCHIHA!!  alas that the sender isnât there to witness it. )
heâs still laughing, full of mirth, even as he swings a careless arm around Itachiâs shoulders, the next day.
           â  heeeeey, Red Eyes. thanks for the gift! â  a beaming smile, the boyish sort, the I-am-twenty-something-and-definitely-not-a-serial-killer sort ; the sort you think you can trust, because it brightens up your day if you ignore the sharp edges.  â how âŠunique. is it to size? Iâll be sure to think of you, each and every. single. time. â
â Did you just wince? Â Where are you hurt? Â â for Deidara <3
â   Who asked you , hn ?   â
Deidara pointedly kept his eyes ahead , the same perpetual scowl on his face that had been there the moment he was informed he would be going on this WILD GOOSE CHASE with Itachi Uchiha , of all people .  Of course it would be the one mission that Deidara ended up taking a few more hits than he realistically should have .
(  Maybe if he werenât so distracted trying to out - class Itachiâs attacks , he would have fared a bit better , but that was neither here nor there .  )
â   You need to get your eyes checked .  Youâre seeing things .   â
