#kinnjas

Summery: Five months after his death, Finn's ghost returns to earth to comfort his still very grief stricken stepbrother Kurt; the only person who can see him. Author's note: This is from the fanfiction I'm working on and it's still rough so it might not be that great. It's also the first onshot I've written so be gentle. I'd also like to dedicate this to all of my tumblr friends. In this scene Finn spies on Kurt having fun with Rachel, Santana, Dani and Elliot at 'Callbacks'. Later that night, after leaving Rachel and Santana at the bar, Kurt has a bittersweet heart to heart with Finn back at the loft. ....... It's a little unnerving when you don't actually have a body to roam around in. It's almost frightening and exhilarating how free you feel. He felt hollow; cold inside compared to how solid and warm he used to be and he still wasn't comfortable with it. His feet were firmly planted on the ground and he was still as lanky in his 6'4ish figure yet he felt as light as a feather; he weighed nothing more than the air outside of Callbacks. His boyishly handsome, freckled complexion still frozen at age 19. The clothes on his back which consisted of a red and white hoodie and casual jeans with sneakers were nothing more than an illusion his soul created from the last thing he wore. People would nonchalantly pass through him, averted their eyes and bobbing their heads to the music as they slam back their drinks. Paying no attention to him, which normally would bother Finn except technically he wasn't there, not really. He was no longer amongst the living. He was a ghost. The only person with the privilege to actually see and hear him was his brother. Finn couldn't explain it but the situation was none the less still hard for Kurt to adjust to and process in the beginning. There was a moment where the countertenor thought he'd had a psychotic meltdown and spent the first several weeks since his deceased brother's return in therapy. But once the initial shock wore off Kurt's curiosity had taken over. It was unusual considering he'd never believed in God or Heaven yet how else could he explain Finn's presence talking to him as if he were still alive? Kurt wasn't convinced he hadn't gone crazy. Finn was just as confused about the whole 'being dead thing'. Instead of rattling chains and haunting houses like he'd seen in the movies, he was following his stepbrother around like an invisible oversized lost puppy. Tonight he was discretely spying on Kurt, Rachel and Santana out with a couple of their new friends he'd never seen before. He remembered Kurt telling him that he'd formed his own Madonna cover band shortly after Finn's special memorial at McKinley but he never actually saw the other members of the band. The girl, who he quickly learned was Dani, cuddling against Santana was blond but it wasn't her natural hair color by the looks of the dark roots peeking through her long lochs. She was pretty with her doe eyes and cherub features, she looked to be about the same age as Kurt and Rachel. Finn wondered if she went to school with them. The mysterious good looking dark haired guy that Rachel was sitting on top of resembled a slightly punk circus-showman but with a rock n roll twist. He looked a bit older than all of them. Kurt was squished in between the four, laughing and sucking back on his straw of brown liquor as the dark haired guy, Elliot, made some sort of joke. They were all laughing and smiling without a care in the world. At one point it looked as though Kurt and Elliot were flirting. Finn wished he could actually sit down. It was weird not feeling hungry or thirsty anymore but every time he saw a tray of hot wings pass by him, his mind would go into frustration overdrive. It seemed like a distant dream now; touching, tasting and smelling. He missed it. Finn didn't have a body so the rules of the living no longer applied to him. All he could do was stand and watch; which bored the hell out of him. He thought about flickering the lights in the bar to tease the customers but that would only upset Kurt; who still hadn't forgiven him for the ghostly prank he pulled at school the other day. No, he would be good tonight. But did this Elliot guy have to put his hand on Rachel's thigh like that? It made him uneasy witnessing her respond so flirtatiously. Even if they were just friends goofing off harmlessly Finn didn't appreciate the PDA. And then there was Kurt. Finn had never seen him so happy in all that time he'd known him. He was so chummy with Santana now, locking hands with her while they laughed. Finn and Santana had buried the hatchet back in high-school but he'd never forgotten the way she treated him. He couldn't help feeling a little sick watching how inseparable his brother and his former bully had become; like they'd always been best buddies. He wanted to feel happy...for them at least...but he couldn't. It wasn't long before Finn's infamous half-smirk slowly began to dissolve. If he still had a stomach he was pretty sure someone just punched it from the inside. He realized he didn't belong there; he was intruding where he shouldn't have been. Kurt and Rachel deserve to move on with their lives, they deserve to be happy. So why couldn't he feel happy for them in that moment? He felt disconnected from those he loved; part of the curse of being a ghost. Submissively he turned the other cheek and headed in the opposite direction of Kurt's table. He couldn't see this anymore. Finn 's weightless feet shuffled along through the crowd; shoving his hands in his pockets. Even in a loud enthusiastic crowd of people he felt alone in an empty void. It didn't matter because they couldn't see or feel him just like he felt nothing when they passed through his lanky, melancholy figure; he was invisible to the rest of the world except Kurt. He didn't exist without Kurt now. Being at that bar was only further torturing himself, Finn should've known better. He was so stupid. Kurt told him not to leave the apartment without him but Finn was stubborn. What did he think would happen? That he'd sit at that table, socializing, gushing about old times? He was dead. They wouldn't interact with him because they wouldn't see or hear him, not unless they were Melinda Gordon or Kurt Hummel in this case. He decided to wait for Kurt back home. Until then he would distract himself with his train of thought. Ghosts tend to think more about their lives then they did before their death; it's mostly regrets and what could've been. Serious thinking like this was all too surreal for Finn Hudson. .......... Kurt had decided to bail out on his friends for the night and head back home. He took a cab obviously, it was New York. Rachel and Santana were busy having too much fun with Dani and Elliot to turn in. This was perfect because he'd get the apartment for at least a couple hours in order to get a little time with Finn. It was already getting complicated enough having to make up excuses to his roommates whenever they caught him supposedly talking to himself. And then he still wasn't used to the idea of seeing his dead brother again. He loved Finn; missed him very much but he'd just made the hard adjustment of life without him. It was awkwardly difficult to grieve, move forward and socialize with his brother's ghost all at once. Taking the keys out of his messenger bag, Kurt unlocked the sliding door and shuffled inside expecting to see Finn's adorable grinning face standing there to greet him. But he wasn't around. "Hello?" He called out pulling off his scarf and jacket. "Finn?" This was so weird for him. Calling out the name of his deceased brother. There was no answer. The apartment seemed deserted. Kurt went into his bedroom, which was only separated from Rachel and Santana's rooms by curtains, and threw his outdoor clothes and bag on the bed. "Finn are you here?" He still didn't answer and didn't appear on cue. Kurt was starting to get a little worried. "Finn Hudson come out now. I'm not in the mood for one of your little Casper games." He deadpanned crossing his arms. Then he softened his voice in case Finn felt unsure. "It's okay Finn it's just me. Rachel and Santana are still out at Callbacks." His green eyes scanned the area for a 6'4 teen ghost but all he saw was an empty kitchen and living room. It couldn't be that hard to spot him what with his height and that infamous 'fin' due. Plus he was the only one who could physically see Finn's spirit. It was like living an episode of 'The Ghost Whisperer' only he didn't feel very much like Jennifer Love Hewitt's character. "Finn?!" Then the hairs on his arms began to stand on end as his whole body sprouted goosebumps. Suddenly he was overcome by a cold draft from outside of the balcony, the door was open. Shivering with his arms wrapped around him, Kurt shuffled towards the balcony but an invisible force slammed the door shut in his face. Kurt wasn't amused. He opened it and stepped out preparing to give Finn an earful. Only when he finally noticed his brother sitting on the stairs with his head hunched over, Kurt's expression went from agitated to concerned. Finn didn't acknowledge him. He just sat there with his hands clasped together on his knees, his eyes conflicted with sorrow looking like a little boy who'd just lost his best friend. Kurt didn't know what to do but approached him. "Finn?" "Hey dude." Came his hollow reply, averting his eyes. "Didn't you hear me calling? What in the name of Gaga are you doing out here?" "I just...felt like seeing the view from up here. I've never really seen it before. It's pretty awesome." "Yes it is," Kurt agreed settling beside Finn looking out at the city of lights, "I come out here all the time when I need to think or get away from the girls." A small smile spread across Finn's lips. "Like a Fortress of Solitude?" He asked sporadically. Kurt chuckled throatily. "Couldn't you think of anything besides a 'Superman' reference, Finn?" He shrugged silently, his smirk fading. Kurt missed seeing those dimples whenever Finn smiled. He missed so many things about his brother which was making their ghostly situation incredibly hard on Kurt. "Finn why are you really out here? What's wrong?" Finn dipped his head, shutting his eyes. "It's nothing." "Common you use to be able to tell me anything whenever we had one of our lady chats over warm milk. I could brew some up for old times sake if you'd like." Finn scrutinized at his brother. "Dude aren't you forgetting that I'm kinda dead now? And I don't think ghosts can drink...so the warm milk would just be a waste on me." "Yah." For a minute there Kurt nearly had forgotten that Finn wasn't alive. It was upsetting. Time to stir the conversation back on track. "Well why don't we just talk then?" Finn's voice was melancholy. "About what?" "About you, something's obviously wrong Finn otherwise you wouldn't be sitting out here with that sad puppy look on your face. The only time you do is when you want something or...because of Rachel." "This isn't about Rachel man." "Then what is it about Finn?" He shook his head. "You wouldn't understand." "Try me." Kurt fiercely insisted. "It's just...I saw you tonight...with Rachel and Santana, some girl and that other dude out at that bar. I know you told me not the leave the apartment but I couldn't help myself, you know." Kurt's expression was conflicted with sincerity and disappointment but he was patient. Finn swallowed hard and continued. "You guys were having so much fun, laughing and joking around. It was kinda intimidating and I started to feel a little jealous. I mean...dude you looked so happy I'd never seen you that happy before. Rachel was flirty with that guy and you and Santana were so... I just...never realized until tonight how much I miss you and Rachel..and everyone.." The guilt was building up in Kurt's throat. He felt his stomach tying in knots. What was he supposed to say to this? There was a time he would've given anything to have Finn back in his life and now that he got his wish it was only causing them both pain. "Finn, just because Rachel and I have other friends does not mean we've forgotten about you. It doesn't mean you've been replaced." Finn's brown eyes were shiny. He didn't have any bodily functions but he could still expressed sadness. Even without tears he managed to sniffle a little. Something else was clearly tormenting him. "Is that why you hid that graduation picture of us? Or gave away my letterman jacket?" There was so much hurt in his voice it was unbearable for Kurt. He felt as if he'd betrayed Finn but he knew this conversation was long over due; he just didn't expect it to happen now. "And your tattoo is just this ridiculous "it gets Bette Midler" slogan which I have no idea of what that means." Kurt's face flushed furiously, touching his shoulder protectively. "Hey how the hell do you know about my tattoo Finn Hudson? Were you spying on me in the shower Casper the perverted ghost?!" "No!" Finn got defensive, face horrified. "I accidentally saw it when you ran after Santana in nothing but your boxers because she'd stolen your shirt. Believe me dude I wish I could wipe that image from my memory." "Oh." Kurt felt foolish. "The point is..I realized that I shouldn't be here Kurt. You and Rachel don't need me anymore. I'm just getting in the way of your lives sticking around like this." "That's not true! I do still need you and your wrong," Kurt was getting excited. "I gave your jacket to Santana because she felt bad about how she'd treated you, I was just trying to be compassionate. But then it went missing. And the reason I hide that photo of us is because it upsets Rachel, she's still mourning your death as I am. You have no idea how hard it's been without you Finn, we miss you everyday. I miss you." "But...why is it so easy for you to smile like that?" Finn was so confused and overwhelmed with regret. As a ghost most of the time he felt emptiness and despair. He wanted Kurt and Rachel to go on with their lives, they had to. He didn't want them crying over him forever. Still it didn't make seeing them move on hurt less. "You were the happiest I've ever seen, Kurt. I don't remember you being that happy when I was alive." Kurt let out a loud sign holding back tears and replied softly. "Grief wears all types of masks Finn. It's the only thing that protects us from the pain, it's an illusion. When I lost my mom I cried for weeks until my dad told me the best way to honor her memory was to wear a smile. It didn't mean my grief was gone...just that it was hidden. And now I'm doing the same with you... If I didn't distract myself with friends, music, school and tattoos...I'd fall apart." "Which is exactly why I shouldn't be here dude. I'm just causing you more pain." "I can't argue that it doesn't hurt seeing you again Finn. I still think I'm going crazy...but I wouldn't trade any of the time we've spent together these passed few weeks. No matter how much you've complicated my life, I'm really glad that you're here." Finn's sadness was fleeting and he felt a strange warmth overcome him. He was smiling at Kurt, his dimples were exposed and Kurt returned the gesture. Finn climbed to his feet, towering before his brother. There was a glow around him, like sunlight. He resembled an angel. Then he said something his brother couldn't comprehend. For all that they had been through, all that they shared as friends and brothers Finn had never been able to say what was in his heart. He knew how he felt about Kurt, their bond had meant more than either had realized. It was a moment of truth and honesty and the words of affection just formed into a simple meaningful sentence and he released them. "I love you dude." Kurt was stunned. This was the first time Finn had ever said this to him out loud. He knew they loved each other but somehow saying it loud now brought a whole new meaning. He began to shiver and the tears betrayed him. "I'm sorry I never got the chance to say it sooner; guess my timing sucks," Finn admitted with his infamous lopsided grinning laugh and gentle twinkle in his brown eyes. "But I'm saying it now because you know it's always been the truth. Dude, you're like the best person I've ever known. I've never been prouder to have been apart of your life. You'll always be my brother and I love you." Kurt bit his lip swallowing hard, fighting back the endless tears spilling down his face with his shirt sleeve. He was so emotional in that moment all he wanted to do more than anything was embrace his arms around his brother one last time. He just wanted to know that this was real. That this was really happening; that Finn was here with him. "I wish I could hug you right now," the countertenor sobbed, his heart in his throat as he looked up at Finn's tall lanky frame. Then he smiled again despite his tears. "I really miss your hugs. I miss your heartbeat. I miss my brother." "Well...come on," Finn ushered Kurt towards him, "Come give me a hug before I go." This scared Kurt. He wasn't ready to let go, not just yet. He didn't want to say goodbye. "What?" "It's time I let you get on your life Kurt." Finn said gently; his voice practically echoing in the breeze. "You and Rachel both need to move on with your lives. I'm not worried you'll forget me. Besides if I stay I'll be interfering." "No, no you can't go now," Kurt stood up; his heart was racing. "Please don't go." "It's okay little brother. Everything's going to be okay. Saying goodbye doesn't mean forever...it just means goodbye for now." "You don't know that for sure." "Yes I do. I believe it." Kurt didn't hesitate to jump into Finn's arms hugging his solid form tightly. He felt the tough fabric of Finn's hoodie beneath his fingers, the flexed muscles of his arms and chest yet somehow it didn't feel the same. He couldn't hear Finn's heartbeat as he rested his ear against his shoulder, there was no warmth in his skin, no scent. It was as if he were a hollowed out shell. Empty. Kurt missed this and held on tighter. He didn't want it to be true. He didn't want his brother to be dead. They just stood there on the balcony holding each other, ignoring their surroundings. The only thing that mattered to them was each other. "I love you too Finn Hudson." Kurt whispered in a broken voice. "You'll always be in my heart."

Graphic by Carly

As stated in the title Kinn week will be from the 14th to the 20th of this month. If you’re planning on taking part please like or reblog.

The main rule however is to have fun, this day is supposed to be about Kinn love all day so don't bash, ignore any haters and just have fun creating and reblogging.

I just need some numbers before deciding whether we should or not.