#king dons

VARIETOPIA is a magical show that will change your life. But don't take it from me— take it from Janet Varney!

So, today I was reminded about this strange phenomenon.

That's right. The same product. Four different names.

Look, I know this happens all the time. But we're talking about the EXACT SAME COMPANY here.

And you can argue that Drake's is in a different category because it's not Hostess. But look again.

Uh-huh. "By Hostess."

Worst of all, these identical products were mostly competing against each other on the shelves at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME.

Were they in cahoots? Was it a marketing snafu? Or was it all part of an elaborately orchestrated plan?

Then you have stuff like THIS, which blurs the line even further.

There was NEVER a King Ding Dong. King Don, yes. But THIS? Oh, HELL, no.

So, where does THIS fit into the equation? 

And I know what you're wondering. Whither Canada?

I'll be honest. I have no idea what these have to do with my original point. Except that Jos. Louis is the Great White North's answer to Ding Dongs/Ring Dings/King Dons/Big Wheels. And the May West? I have no fucking clue.

The thing is, I know people who SWEAR they're called Big Wheels.

Then again, I know people who call them King Dons.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What does that say?

That's what I thought. "King Ding DON?!!?"

Jesus! How far does this demented rabbit hole go?

So, what's to regret about all this? I guess on one level, I regret how fucked the branding for this food is. On another, I regret how badly I want to do a taste test of each & every variation now.