#kinda sorta probably

it’s supposed to. after all bdubs put in through, it should feel fucking fantastic. but it doesn’t.

he doesn’t feel free or avenged or okay again. he just feels bad.

he doesn’t get to revel in his revenge like skizz and tango did, doesn’t get to feel a weight lift off his chest, doesn’t get to feel like his own person again. but he does get to feel like a piece of shit.

he wanted this. he wanted this for so, so long. he’d bragged to people about how he’d kill bdubs the moment he could, rip him to shreds, make him feel the pain he was forced to endure. he wanted to hurt bdubs ever since he felt a blade pierce his chest and an arrow lodge in his heart. that betrayal changed something in him, and it wasn’t for the better.

it should feel good. impulse deserves to feel good. he’s gone so long biting his tongue, holding himself back, being the bigger person whether he wants to be or not. after all he went through, the least he deserves is the sweet taste of revenge.

and yet he doesn’t get it. instead of feeling liberated and empowered, he feels guilty. because he shouldn’t have done that. he loved bdubs, and you’re not supposed to kill people you love.

the irony hurts.

impulse got his fill of that, he should get to be on the giving end now. he should get to reign judgement day down on bdubs. bdubs is a horrible person, and he deserves this, and it’s been a long time coming.

so why does he feel bad?

maybe because it was so sudden. bdubs had no idea what hit him until his bits were splattered across the clock tower, bloody and burnt. he was completely unaware of the fate that would befall him. that’s cruel, isn’t it?

impulse seems to forget the same happened to him when he blindly ran to bdubs back in third life, fully intent on saving him, on getting out of there with the two of them alive and well. impulse’s death was sudden, too. he had no idea what hit him. it just did, and he couldn’t do a thing about it.

so they’re even. it’s over. he’s done.

but it isn’t that easy, and impulse knows that.

he didn’t win. this isn’t a victory he’s long deserved. it’s just more blood on his hands that he’ll be scorned for later. he’s not a hero, not even for himself.

Send me a ‘hi’ and I will put my playlist on shuffle, write down the first line of five songs and give it to you as a poem.

Eeee, someone actually did it, thank you! :)